


Not What it Seems

by Eyesthatseenothing



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Barebacking, Biting, Bruises, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Neglect, Dom/sub Undertones, Explicit Sexual Content, Gallavich, Handcuffs, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Attempted Suicide, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecurity, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Loneliness, M/M, Manipulation, Marking, Masturbation, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Non-Consensual, Panic Attacks, Possessive Behavior, Recreational Drug Use, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Violence, Voyeurism, cheating in some peoples eyes but some situations are complicated, extreme linen confusion, still adding tags as the come up sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2018-09-14 17:32:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 116,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9196223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eyesthatseenothing/pseuds/Eyesthatseenothing
Summary: For as long as Mickey can remember he has had possessive tendencies. Didn’t matter what it was. Possessions, money, drugs, drinking, fighting, anything but never a person. Until he met his sister's boyfriend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love possessive and dominant Mickey. The development of his softer, more sensitive side towards Ian was beautiful to watch. I hope I can convey this, but keep his dominant side prominent at the same time.  
> If this is not your thing then please don't read.  
> My confidence in my writing is still lacking so I appreciate any comments and kudos.

Definition of Possessive;  
Proprietorial, overprotective, controlling, clinging, dominating, jealous. 

 

For as long as Mickey can remember he has had possessive tendencies. Didn’t matter what it was. Possessions, money, drugs, drinking, fighting, anything but never a person. He never obsessed over people. People were there for his benefit and he could make anyone do what he wanted, so they never really mattered. People, even family were easy for him to control with a simple command. No one had said no to him since he was a child. His family always catered to his every want and need cause if they didn’t he could snap and that scared them more. They enjoyed the life he provided them, but they knew he could easily take it away. 

He had always been Terry’s favourite, so he was spoilt from a baby and given anything he desired. Terry mouldered him in his image. He became violent, controlling and from the age of 16 he ruled over the Milkovich family with an iron fist. At first Terry didn’t realise his son had surpassed him, but by then it was too late. He had underestimated his son’s intelligence, drive and ambition. Terry decided not to fight his son over control as the family business had never been more profitable since Mickey took over. He was able to spend all his time drunk and high without having to do a thing, so he just let it go and enjoyed.

Mickey being blessed with brains had ensured a better life for all his siblings. Their house was no longer the shit hole they had grown up in. While the exterior was left the same at first, thanks to gentrification, in the last year it now resembled a well kept facade. He even had a nice garden with flowers and a white picket fence put in which never failed to amuse him. The interior could match any northside home. The house was always kept clean. He had made sure they had every luxury and essential they needed or desired, that their father had neglected to provide for them. 

For the last 5 years not one of the Milkovich brothers had been to juvie or jail with Mickey running the show. They were terrified of him, but also grateful for the way he had turned their lives around since pushing Terry to the side. He never beat his brothers just because he could like his father had done to them growing up, but if they fucked up or didn’t listen they would quickly beg his forgiveness rather than face his punishment. 

He had managed to slowly clean a lot of the money they brought in through the small businesses he had purchased. Even the least successful ones he bought on the cheap always managed to turn a nice profit which he was now investing in properties slowly to stay under the radar. He figured within the next 10 years they would be fully legit. 

Their lives were easier under Mickey’s rule. He ensured them a better life than any of them could have dreamed of and their loyalty was unwavering. They always had money, food, drugs, alcohol and women when desired in the house. However, Mickey has been keeping a secret from all but his brothers. Being raised by a homophobic father in a homophobic neighbourhood he kept it to only his brothers knowing he was gay. Being raised believing it was weak and perverted was something not easily overcome and he refused to let anyone think him weak. He satisfied himself with one night stands or quick fucks in night club bathrooms in boys town, but never brought anyone home with him. Never saw anyone more than once. No one ever interested him for longer than he needed to get off.

The only sibling he showed any true affection to was his sister Mandy. She was the baby of the family and the only girl. She was still expected to obey her brother, but as long as she stayed in school and kept him informed of her life he was happy to indulge and spoil her. He was determined she would have a better life than the one she was destined for in this neighbourhood. He wanted her to go to college and make something of herself. Not be a part of the family business as it now stood. 

When Mickey is 21 and Mandy is 16 she tells her brother that she has met someone. She wants to bring home her first boyfriend. Mickey is anything but happy. He wants her to concentrate on school not boys, but she ensures him that her boyfriend, Ian, is just as interested in school as she is. He gives in to her pleas and agrees to meet him before making any judgements. He expects her to bring him home with her after school the next day.

******

Mickey hears Mandy walk in the front door just before 4pm as she does every day after school. He is sitting at the dining table going over some of his financials as she approaches him to introduce her boyfriend. He closes his laptop, takes off his glasses and turns to look at her and this so called boyfriend of hers. 

Mickey doesn’t hear a word Mandy says. Suddenly his mind goes blank, he forgets how to speak and his stomach drops. Before him is the most beautiful creature he has ever seen. He’s tall, about 6 foot, has bright red hair, large green eyes, a smile with a slight smirk, pale freckled skin and a body that makes him shiver. Hard, muscular and tight. Mickey can see his abs through his too tight t shirt and he feels the desperate need to run his hands over them. To touch them. His hands ache to touch him all over and feel his perfect body under his. To cover him in his scent and make him his. 

What the fuck is going on, his voice is screaming through his head. He tries unsuccessfully to pull himself together, but it’s not happening.

He can’t take his eyes off him. He’s not sure how much time has past as he just stares at him. He can tell his sister’s boyfriend is starting to feel uncomfortable, but he doesn’t care. In that moment he wants him more than he’s ever wanted anything in his whole life and he’s determined to have him. To make him his.

Mandy senses something is up. She’s starting to freak out over the way Mickey is looking at her boyfriend. She can feel Ian grab a hold of her hand tightly and feel his palm starting to sweat. Fuck. She hopes Mickey doesn’t know the truth. Her and Ian are fake boyfriend and girlfriend. Ian has been her best friend for the last 6 months. She was scared to bring him home before now, but was worried her brother would find out she had a boyfriend he hadn’t met, so she decided they couldn’t wait much longer. Everyone at school thought they were together so they thought why not pretend. Good way to protect her gay best friend and keep the creeps away from her at the same time. Right?

Fuck. Now she’s worried Mickey knows the truth. As much as she loves him she knows how dangerous he can be. If he finds out Ian is gay he would kill him himself. She would do anything to protect Ian. He’s the only true friend she has ever had. They love each other and are closer to each other than anyone else in their lives. 

Panicking she turns quickly and drags Ian to her room as fast as she can slamming the door closed after them.

“Mandy, I think he knows. Did you see how he was looking at me? Fuck can we just leave? Please?”

“What? No. He will think something is up if we just go now. Calm the fuck down Ian. 10-15 minutes tops he’ll be distracted by something new ok. If he thought you were gay or anything you’d already be dead.”

“Great, but what if he’s still out there when we leave aye? I have to be at work in an hour. We need to walk back out there soon.”

“Stop being a pussy and shut the fuck up. Here.” Mandy passes Ian a joint to light up. They sit back on her bed smoking and passing it between each other calming themselves.

Mandy starts to feel her heart beat slowing down. Feels her body start to sink into the mattress and relax. After a few minutes she leans over Ian and puts some music on. She takes Ian’s hand holding it tightly. Kissing the back of it gently calming him. His face is starting to relax now as well and they gaze into each other’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry he freaked you out. Next time I’ll make sure he’s not home when you come over ok?”

“Like you said, if he knew he would have already killed me so maybe we over reacted, you think?”

“You’re probably right. Mickey can be really overprotective and you’re the first boyfriend I have ever brought home.”

Mandy lights up a second joint which they smoke slower. They start zoning out when they hear a quiet but insistent knocking on the door. Mandy gets up and peers carefully out her door. It’s Iggy. One of her other brothers.

“Mands. You have to get him the fuck out now. Quickly before he gets back. Come on, fucken hurry up. He’s in a mood, shit.” Iggy looks nervous moving from foot to foot.

Mandy throws open the door, grabs a very stoned Ian off the bed and they take off running throwing grateful smiles to Iggy on the way out. 

They make it 3 blocks away before they both have to stop. Out of breath, bent over trying to catch their breaths. They both slowly look up at each other and start laughing hysterically. 

“Fuck that was intense.” Ian gets out. “From now on we go to my place or we find somewhere else. Your brother is hot and all, but that stare!”

“Don’t say that, someone might hear you. And it’s creepy. Fuck Ian.” She whisper yells at him. Pause. “Shit I’ve got a good idea. Tomorrow you’re off work we can go to this abandoned building my brothers used to go to and target shoot. They never go there anymore so we won’t be disturbed and you’re a crack shot, it’ll be fun. Get wasted and shoot some shit up.”

“Sounds good. Come by mine in the morning, not too early remember we’re going to the club. I gotta get going. Work.” Kissing her check Ian jogs away.

******

When Mickey returns home a few minutes after they leave he heads straight for Mandy’s door. What the fuck is wrong with me, he’s thinking. He went down the road to one of his dealer’s place to get some of the good weed thinking to impress Mandy’s boyfriend. Get to know him under the pretence of checking him out for his sister and maybe it would help him to relax the fuck out.

He lifts his hand to knock on her door, but before he does he pulls his hand back. What the hell am I doing? Mandy is his favourite and he doesn’t want to upset her but he needs to see that boy again. He can’t get him out of his head. Was he even real? What the fuck was his name? Shit, he can’t remember anything Mandy said when she came home with him.

He lifts his hand again to knock. “Yo Mandy. I picked up some of the good weed. Bring your boyfriend out and I’ll roll.” 

No answer. Is she ignoring him? When does Mandy not want the good stuff and who the hell does she think she is ignoring him.

Mickey knocks harder but still gets no answer. Now he’s getting angry with his sister. He grabs the door handle and throws open the door hoping he doesn’t catch them doing anything. They’re gone. “What the fuck. Mandy!” He screams through the house. He was only gone 5 minutes. Where the fuck have they gone.

“Ig. Yo Iggy. Where the fuck is Mandy and her boyfriend?”

“Oh, hey Mickey. They said they had to leave. Wasn’t really listening.”

“So you just let our sister leave with her new boyfriend without finding out where she’s going or when the fuck she’d be home? We don’t’ even fucken know him Iggy. What the fuck were you thinking?”

“Ian’s a nice guy Mick. Treats Mandy real good. Not like they just started dating.”

“What? How long has she been seeing him?”

“Bout 6 months now I think? Not that long Mick.” 

“You gotta be fucken kidding me! What the fuck is going on? How come I never met him before aye? You know I have to know who our sister is banging. I don’t know shit about this boy. Not fucken happy Iggy. You call that skank now and tell her to get the fuck home right fucken now and bring that boyfriend back with her.”

Iggy scrambles around looking for his phone to call Mandy. He finds it in the lounge. Fuck, this is bad. Mandy answers on the first ring. “Yeah fuck head I’ll be heading home soon.”

“You got to come home now Mands. He went straight to your room when he got back. Wants to get to know your boyfriend. He’s freaking the fuck out. Hurry.”

“Fuck, I don’t want him near Ian when he’s like this. Anyway, he’s not with me anymore. He had to go to work.”

The line is quiet for a few seconds then she hears her brother starting to spew his words out nearly faster than she can understand. “I might have fucked up Mands. Don’t hurt me please. I didn’t think. He was getting upset and it just came out. I told him Ian was a good guy, you know. Told him you been dating for like 6 months now. I think he’s gonna snap. He wants you home now and he wants you back here with Ian to get to know him. Sorry Mands.”

“Fuck Iggy. You gotta learn to think before you speak asshole. I can’t bring Ian back even if I wanted too.”

“I don’t think he’ll get too mad at you, at least I hope not. I’m so fucken sorry, but when he yells at me my big fucken mouth has a mind of its own.”

“Fine. I’m on my way back now. I’ll just tell him Ian had to head off to work. It’s the truth anyway. Won’t be long k.” She hangs up not waiting for a reply.

“Hey Mickey? She’s on her way back home now k.”

“You tell her I went out and got the good shit to get to know her boy? She better bring him back with her?”

“Yep I told her.”

Mickey can’t stop pacing. He’s going up and down the hall, the kitchen anywhere there is space. He’s getting more and more worked up. She better bring that boy back with her. Did Iggy say his name was Ian? Fuck, I need to know him. I have to know him. What the fuck is wrong with me? He’s my sister’s boyfriend and straight. Fuck my life.

******

Mickey hears the front door open quietly and presumes it’s Mandy and her boyfriend Ian? are trying to sneak back in without him noticing. He tries to focus on Mandy entering the lounge room and only hears one set of footsteps. 

“Hey, I’m back Mick.”

He just glares at her. He can feel his anger building when he finally realises she is alone. He can see Mandy starting to squirm under his glare, which gives him a brief moment of satisfaction. How dare she defy him. 6 fucken months she’s been keeping secrets from him. He comes to the conclusion he’s been too easy on her. Spoiling her being the baby and only girl. Well it’s time for him to put his foot down. 

“6 months, really?” he spits at her. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry Mick. I wanted to wait, to go slow getting to know him and be sure it was going anywhere before bringing him home. Please don’t be angry.” She pleads with him.

He can feel himself start to calm down. Fuck, she always seems to get to him. “So, where the fuck is he then hmmm? You ready to bring him home to meet me, but then you both take off before I get to say a fucken word to him. Call him and tell him to get the fuck back here now.”

“I can’t Mick, I’m so sorry, but we only left cause Ian had to go to work. He’s off tomorrow and Sunday, is that ok?”

“He works? I thought you said he went to school with you? You telling me more bull shit now.”

“Fuck, no Mick I swear. Ian works part time after school to help out his family.”

“Fine. So, 6 months aye. Sit the fuck down now and spill from the beginning then I’ll decide whether or not this so called relationship can continue.” He says as he sits down and lights up one of the joints already rolled sitting on the coffee table.

He get’s comfortable as his sister starts talking keeping a blank look on his face trying not to show too much interest except for that of a concerned older brother. 

She knew who Ian was for a few years before they had even said a word to each other. She thought he was cute, but when the school year started back up this year he had changed a lot. He was no longer a dorky looking boy with limbs that looked too long for his body and bangs falling into his eyes, he had changed from a cute looking puppy into a really hot built looking stud. After trying for months to find a way to approach him it happened without her even trying.

One day in History class their teacher, who always seemed to have an unhealthy interest in her was standing next to her desk with a noticeable hard on which she could see through his jeans. As he slowly starting moving again while continuing to lecture the class he was suddenly on his arse. When Mandy turned around in her chair she saw Ian smirking at her and realised he had come to her rescue. After school that day she felt confident to approach him to thank him.

They spent a good hour chatting in a park on their way home from school. When it was time to part ways Mandy decided to let Ian know how she felt and pounced on him kissing him. When she felt Ian pushing her gently but firmly off him she felt hurt and rejected. She started calling him names and crying while walking away, but he chased her down begging her to let him explain. At first she was reluctant to hear him out, but then he blurted out that he was gay and it made her freeze on the spot. She didn’t know whether to believe him or not, but when he pointed out she was the only person beside his older brother who knew and how dangerous it was in their neighbourhood for him she started to come around. 

She realised up until the moment she tried to kiss him she had really enjoyed his company. She didn’t feel like she had any true friends at school, but there was something different about Ian. She promised to keep his secret and they sat down again to talk. It felt so natural being with Ian. He seemed to know what she was thinking and feeling and he seemed to genuinely enjoy being with her too. She felt connected to him in a way she had never felt before. She suggested they be ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ to keep Ian safe and to keep the creeps away from her. He took her hand kissing the back of it and thanked her.

From that day 6 months ago until now they were inseparable. They spent nearly every day together whether at school or not. She would drop in on him at work, go over to his place, sometimes see a movie, but her favourite was when he took her to boys town and they would spend hours getting wasted and dancing. 

They had made what they called their club friends. A group of young north side guys that they met up with only at the club. Some of them tried to get Ian and her to meet up at other times and would always invite them to their places, but they preferred to keep their life separate outside of the club for now. She always had one or more of the guys to keep her company when Ian went off on one of his 2 or 3 trips to the bathroom a night. She always joked with him that she didn’t know where he got his stamina.

She gave her brother the edited version of the truth. She would protect Ian with her life. She didn’t have to deviate too much, just leave out the part of Ian being gay and their nights at the club. She smiled at him recounting their relationship and when she finished she waited for him to speak.

After a few minutes he responded. “So umm, where you two go to bang aye? His place, some dirty back alley hmmm?”

Fuck she hadn’t thought of him asking that question. “Umm, well, we’re taking it slowly.” She quietly said. “We really like each other a lot and we want to be sure like first. Make it special ya know hmmm.” As unlikely as that sounded she hoped he bought it. Fuck please.

Mickey didn’t believe her. He knew she had gotten around a fair bit in the past, but something in the way she spoke gave him some hope she was speaking the truth. He hoped so at least. 

“You got plans with him tomorrow then?” She nodded a yes to him. “Well I expect him here sometime after lunch so I can meet him again. Maybe even talk this time.” He told her.

“Is night ok? We were going to go check out a new club, maybe meet up with some friends.”

“Fine, but if I don’t like what I see you aren’t going understands?”

After Mickey dismisses her she goes to her room and starts texting Ian to fill him in on her story.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian sleeps over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part of this was extremely hard for me to write never having written any type of sex scene. I picked my good friend's brain for help 'I love you Brett" and took notes off him for further reference. He's not into fanfic so it was a hard favour to ask.  
> * TRIGGER WARNING* If non consensual masturbation voyeurism, fuck that was a mouthful, offends anyone please don't read anything after the club paragraphs.

When Mickey rolled over in bed to check his phone for the time it was 2pm. Fuck. He hadn’t meant to sleep this late, but he needed a good few drinks to fall asleep last night. Every time he closed his eyes he would see Ian standing in front of him, smiling at him with that slight smirk. He had to compose himself better tonight when Ian came over for Mandy and not just stand there like a zombie. Shit, maybe zombie was a bad analogy as he did want to bite him. Fucken hell I’m losing it already and I’m not even out of bed yet. 

He forced himself to get up a few minutes later when his stomach started rumbling. Called out to Iggy to make him a feed then stumbled into his bathroom. Good thing about having money was he now had his own ensuite. He had moved his father down the street to live with his older brothers Jamie, Joey and Tony with minimal complaint and enough meth to kill a bull and turned 2 bedrooms into a large bedroom and ensuite. It was his own private sanctuary and no one was allowed in without his permission. 

As he showered he tried to think of the best way to approach the situation with Ian. He didn’t want to scare him off, but he still needed him to know who was in charge. He decided on the parental approach. Friendly, but questioningly. He wanted to make him feel comfortable enough to open up and tell him about himself. He also decided to call an acquaintance he knew who specialized in discrete information gathering, as he called it. He had used him before and knew he could be trusted. After all, it was his job and confidentiality was what he sold best. He would call him first thing he got out the shower and see if he was free to start tonight. The sooner he knew more the better.

******

Mickey was starting to get impatient. It was approaching 8pm and Ian hadn’t arrived yet, although Mandy said she was expecting him any time now. She was still in her room getting herself all pretty for her date and it was aggravating him to no end. He had spoken to Mark and gave him what little details he had. The surveillance would start tonight. Mark would be waiting outside for when they left and follow them. Whatever he got out of Ian tonight he would text to him to give him more info to look into. He couldn’t wait for the first report tomorrow.

He was on his 3rd whiskey and starting to relax when he heard a knock on the door. Before he could get off the lounge Mandy was flying to get to the door first. He sat back and continued to sip his drink as he waited for them.

When he saw Ian enter the room he wished he was on his 10th whiskey. He was wearing dark grey skinny jeans, a skin tight pale grey t shirt and a fitted black leather jacket. His vibrant red hair was slicked back and his green eyes sparked. Fuck he sounded gay even in his own mind. He approached Mickey and put out his hand to shake. He didn’t remember putting his hand out to him, but when he felt his hand in his it was like a shock. He felt tingling from his hand up to his shoulder. They sat down opposite him holding hands and waited for him to speak. 

He completely forgot all the questions he had on his mind all day and instead asked Ian to tell him about himself.

Ian was the 3rd child out of 6. He did well in school, especially in English, but struggled a bit in math. He did ROTC twice a week and he wanted to get into WestPoint and be an officer. If he didn’t make it he would either go to college or join the army when he finished school. He worked part time at the Kash and Grab to help support his family as his mother had abandoned them and his father was an alcoholic and a drug addict. He enjoyed working out, which Mickey could definitely see and he love to shoot, which Mickey loved too. 

The only thing that did shock Mickey was when he told him his last name. Gallagher. Fuck, poor kids. He knew his father Frank and what a selfish asshole he was. Everyone in their neighbourhood knew. Ian’s dedication to his family and his drive to make something of himself did impress Mickey. He knew the eldest sister basically raised the kids by herself and his older brother was already in college. Good to see Frank hadn’t rubbed off on his children. 

All he could think to ask was what time they expected to be back, then offered to let Ian stay over as it was going to be late and he could crash in Mandy’s room as long as no funny business happened. He couldn’t bear the thought of that. He knew he’d still be awake when they got home, so he would get to see him again soon. He let them go then texted Mark they were leaving. He switched on his Xbox needing a distraction while he waiting for them to get back.

******

Mark loved his job. He loved the thrill he got finding out people’s secrets and the best part was he got paid to do it. He’d worked for Mickey several times already, but those jobs had been looking into businesses and their owners for any hidden problems before Mickey went after them.

This time was different, he could feel it. Mickey had never hired him to follow and look only into a person. He figured he was being a concerned brother wanting to know all about his sister’s boyfriend, but something felt a bit off. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but the job was only starting tonight. He’d work it out soon enough. It didn’t really bother him too much knowing he would be well paid at the end of the day. His job was information and discretion. For now, he would wait in his car until he saw them leave the house, then his job would begin.

About an hour later he saw Mickey’s sister leave with a tall red headed teenager holding her hand. He quickly checked his phone and saw their names where Mandy and Ian. He saw the were heading for the L, so he got out his car to follow them. 

They were dressed up and so was he since Mickey had told him they were going to a club. He followed not too far behind them and when the train pulled up he casually got on with them and sat nearby pretending to play with his phone. When he noticed them get up he waited a few seconds and followed them off at their stop.

They were northside and when he looked around him he realised that if they were going to a club near here it was definitely going to be in boys town. Now this was getting interesting. 

After walking past a few seedy looking places that he knew catered to older queens, they stopped at a club called Fantasia. The queue outside was full of young good looking guys and a few women here and there, which peaked his interest even more. He saw them pass the line and approach one of the door men who seemed to know them and let them go straight in. So, they were well known here. Must be regulars hmmm. He pulled $50 out of his wallet, didn’t want to risk a rejection and have to wait and approached the same guy on the door. 

He discretely put out his hand to the bouncer so he could see the money he was holding. They shook hands briefly and he was ushered through, minus his money. 

The club was nearly full and looked up market. He glanced around, but couldn’t see them. He went to the centre bar which had the best view and sat down and ordered a beer. Beer in hand he turned his seat so he could look around. A few minutes later he spotted them thanks to the boy’s red hair. They were seated at a table close to the dance floor with 5 other guys, Mandy being the only girl there. They all seemed to be chatting like good friends and throwing back shots in quick succession. 

He decided to just sit back and watch how their night progressed. Mandy seemed to be the centre of attention for all the males, but he could tell by the way they checked out the crowd around them that their interest was purely platonic. 

Half an hour in he saw Ian stand and grab Mandy’s hand and lead her to the dance floor. They moved together like they were a couple, but Ian gave himself away by checking out the guys dancing nearby. When he appeared to catch the interest of a good looking guy dancing nearby he signalled over to his friends and one of them came over and took his spot with Mandy and he went to dance with the other man. Ian danced close to him, seductively for a song or 2, then he took him by the hand and led him towards the toilets. He came back out about 15 minutes later looking flushed and walked back to join his friends not even looking to see if the guy he went in with followed. 

He noted all this down in his phone in detail, then went back to watching them. Over the course of the next 2 hours Ian repeated his trip to the toilets 2 more times with different men each time. In between he gave most of his attention to Mandy and they both seemed to be having a great time together. She never seemed bothered when Ian left, but from where he sat it seemed like she was teasing him whenever he came back to her.

Not long after Ian’s last trip to the toilets he was sitting down with a drink while Mandy was dancing by herself. He noticed Ian constantly watching her and when a man approached her that wasn’t with their group and started to dance up against her, Ian was out of his seat so fast he nearly missed it. He got straight up in the man’s face and said something to him which made him visibly pale and move quickly away from them. Mandy then wrapped her arms around Ian’s neck and they danced together again like they had earlier. Mark noted all this down.

Mark noticed one of the guys Ian had gone off with not far from him at the bar and decided to fish for some information. The man was clearly drunk and after Mark bought him a few more drinks he was more than happy to share his encounter with Ian.

The guy seemed pissed with Ian. He thought he’d gotten lucky for the night, but after Ian bent him over in the toilets and finished with him, he said he was gone before he even got his pants back up. The man was still bitching away when Mark notice Ian and Mandy saying goodbye to their friends and heading out the club. He followed after them, watched them get in a taxi to go home he presumed, so he looked for one for himself to get back to his car. As he sat in the taxi he made sure he’d noted down all the events of the night so he could report back to Mickey the next day.

******

Mickey couldn’t help himself. He’d texted Mandy just after 1am to see when they’d be back and all she’d sent back was ‘saying bye now Mwah’. What the fuck did that mean? Saying goodbye to friends? Ian? She was obviously drunk as she’d never texted or said Mwah to him before. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to wait too long to see a hopefully drunk Ian again soon.

He heard them before he saw them. They were obviously trying to put the key in the front door lock, but having no luck. He smirked and walked over to the door and pulled it open so fast they both fell through and the 3 of them nearly went down. Mickey just managed to hold them both up while they giggled like 13 year old girls. He couldn’t help but laugh a little too. 

“Shmickey woo shaved ush. I wuv ou big budder.” Mandy slurred and draped herself over him.

“Ok, ok, I think it’s time for bed ay Mands.” 

“You ake me bed mmm. Ian smelly. Ive im shower Shmickey.” Mandy slurred out while she swayed in his arms.

“You gonna give me a hand or stand there all night with a stupid look on your face ay red?” Mickey laughed at Ian.

Ian laugh back and grabbed one side of Mandy even if he didn’t look that steady himself and helped Mickey take her to her room. They put her on the bed and pulled of her shoes. While Ian pulled the covers over her, Mickey came back with a bucket he put near the bed. By the time they were finished she was already lightly snoring.

“Ya know you can still stay here even if she’s hogging the bed and you look like you really need a shower too.”

“Thanks Mickey, I’ll grab a shower then crash on the lounge if that’s ok with you.” Ian grinned at him swaying slightly.

This was his chance to spend some alone time with Ian, but he had to be subtle. Make friends with him. “Fuck that man. I’m wide awake, got a big arse bed, and Netflix in my room. How bout we smoke a few joints and watch a few movies ay? You pass out, no problem.”

“Um, I don’t want to impose man. I’m ok by myself. Don’t feel like you have to look after me cause my date passed out on me.” He grinned at him.

Fuck that smile. “S’fine, more fun to smoke and watch with someone. Follow me, you can jump in the shower first then k.”

Mickey led the way to his room. He didn’t like anyone invading his privacy, but he wanted Ian in his room more than anything. He checked to see he was following and smiled when he saw how impressed Ian was with his set up. 

“Fuck, this is nice. I’m stuck in a room with 2 of my brothers and a bed I can’t fit in anymore.” 

“Thanks man. Just through there you can have a shower. I’ll lend you something to wear. Boxers ok or you need something more?” Please say no. Please say no, Mickey repeated in his head.

“Boxers are good thanks. It’s warm in here and if I pass out on you I’m like a furnace when I sleep.” He laughed and headed towards the bathroom.

He watched as Ian walked into the bathroom pushing the door up but not closing it and heard the water start running. He waited a few seconds more then went to a drawer and grabbed him a pair of boxers then debated with himself whether he should go in there and give them to him or should he wait. He stood outside the door still debating with himself for a few minutes more when he heard Ian call him. 

“Hey Mickey, you got a towel I can use?” Decision made for him. He got a clean towel out his closet and knocked on the door.

When he entered the bathroom Ian had his back to him, but through the glass partition he could see the muscles in his back flexing and stretching as he washed his hair. He could feel his mouth filling with saliva and had to swallow a few times before he could speak.

“Hey, I’ll just leave these here on the vanity for you.” Mickey got out hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. 

As he was about to leave he heard the water turn off. He looked up into the mirror over the vanity and saw Ian looking right at him with a smile on his face that made him look so innocent. 

“Thanks Mickey, you mind passing me the towel.”

“Sure. Be right out there when you’re done.” He made sure he kept his eyes on Ian’s face as he handed him the towel and quickly left the room.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What do I do now, he was thinking while trying not to freak out. Ok fuck, I know. Take off clothes, keep on boxes, turn on TV, pick movie on Netflix, light up joint, fuck what else??? He did all this as it went through his head.

Why the fuck am I acting like a little bitch? He had never felt like this before. He forced himself to turn off the light and lay down waiting for Ian, so he could start the movie. He picked one of his favourites, Under Siege, fuck he loved Seagal. He draped himself over his side of the bed and made sure he looked relaxed.

He forced himself to ignore Ian walking past the foot of the bed nearly naked and didn’t acknowledge him until he felt the bed dip with Ian’s weight as he lay back getting comfortable. He passed him the half smoked joint and lit up another one.

About 5 minutes in he was feeling in control again when he felt the bed start to shake. He looked over to see Ian laughing at fuck knows what, but trying not to make a sound.

“The fuck you laughing at man.” He felt himself smiling and trying to hold in a laugh himself.

Ian then started giggling out loud, “fucked if I know. Think I might be a bit wasted.” He blurted out while still laughing and giggling at nothing.

“No shit Einstein. I’ll just finish this one off myself. You’ve obviously had enough tonight.” Mickey smirked at him raising one eyebrow, which seemed to send Ian into another fit of laughter.

Another 10 minutes or so later Mickey realised how quiet it had gotten on the other side of the bed, aside from the movie playing. He looked over at Ian and found he had fallen asleep or passed out. Whatever. Oh shit, he realised not able to take his eyes of a sleeping Ian.

“Hey, you awake.” He asked gently. He got no response so he lightly touched Ian’s shoulder to see if that would work. Nothing. He nudged it this time and all he got back was a slight smile and Ian stretching out on his back in his sleep spreading himself over at least half the bed. Mickey leaned closer and could hear the even breathing of sleep. He wondered if he was a heavy sleeper. Fuck he hoped so. He had come back already drunk with Mandy, then had a smoke. He turned the TV up louder, but Ian just slept on peacefully.

His mind started running away without him again as he looked at Ian spread out and asleep on his bed. He could feel himself harden in his boxers as his eyes took in every inch of Ian’s body. His skin was pale with a light smattering of freckles. He looked up to Ian’s face, fuck he was beautiful. From his flame red hair to his sharp jawline. His lips slightly parted, he imagined what they would look like wrapped around his cock, while Ian kneeled between his legs with his green eyes looking up at him.

He knew he should stop looking at him, but Mickey was never good at controlling himself when he wanted something and this was like the ultimate temptation for him. He was fighting a losing battle with himself even though he knew if he fucked this up he might not get Ian alone in this position again.

The hard throbbing between his legs won out and he thought fuck it. He enjoyed taking risks and this was one he hadn’t tried before. If it went the way he wanted, Ian would never know anyway and that thought turned him on even more.

He reached out a hand and touched his chest lightly. He slowly ran his hand over his pecs feeling the soft skin and hard muscle underneath. He avoided his nipples not wanting to stimulate him and chance waking him up. He moved his hand lower feeling Ian’s abdomen, the defined muscles of his bulging six pack and his v lines running down into his boxers. He wanted to run his tongue over them. Bite them and mark them as his. 

His cock was getting painfully hard and he could feel precum leaking from his slit. He wanted to touch himself badly, but from his position laying on his side he would have to stop touching Ian’s body. He didn’t want to sit up over him in case any movement would wake him. He decided to get out of bed and kneel on the floor beside him so he had both hands free. It would also hide the fact he was touching himself if Ian did happen to wake.

He opened his beside drawer and took out a bottle of lube and made his way to the other side of the bed and got on his knees. From this position he could pleasure himself while caressing Ian’s body. He freed his cock from his boxers without taking them off as his eyes drifted towards what Ian was hiding in his.

From the size of Ian’s hands he was betting it would be substantial. He decided to risk a peak and placed his hand back onto Ian’s body. He continued to sleep without stirring as Mickey started to caress his lower abdomen feeling the hairs travelling down out of his view. He gently lifted the elastic waist, lowering his head slightly. It was hard to see more than the base from this angle without lowering them further and risking waking him. He then decided to try opening the small buttons on the front of the boxers instead.

He had to use both hands to gently lift and open the small buttons. Fuck they were fiddly little things. He slowly got them opened and pushed aside the loose fabric. The light from the TV was just enough to see he had guessed right. Contained inside was a perfect looking flaccid cock that looked to be at least 7 inches soft. He could only imagine how much it would grow when erect. He could feel himself leaking more at the thought and decided he had risked too much already. It was time.

He left Ian’s boxers as they were so he could see his cock. He opened his lube and squeezed a generous amount into his right palm. He placed his left hand back onto Ian’s abs gently running his hand over them while keeping his eyes on his cock and started to stroke himself slowly. He knew he wouldn’t last long as he stroked harder and held himself tighter. He bit his bottom lip to stifle the moans he felt trying to break free. It was getting difficult to touch Ian as his hand wanted to grab onto him and he could feel himself losing control. 

He took his hand back and held onto the side of the bed as his other hand increased speed on his cock. As he felt the pressure building inside him and his balls started retracting he began swiping his thumb over the head of his cock as his hand pulled up and thrusting hard into it as he pulled down. He imagined Ian’s lips wrapped around him while he fucked his mouth hard and it pushed him over the edge. He lifted his hand quickly off the bed and bit down on his knuckles to stifle his moans as he came heavily into his hand.

He saw white spots before his eyes at the intensity of his orgasm. His heart was racing. He had never cum so hard using his own hand. Fuck. What would it feel like when he finally got his cock inside Ian’s arse. He knew he would never be able to stop until he possessed this amazing creature in front of him. He had to have him. He had to be his completely and he wouldn’t stop until he was. 

Just then he realised what he’d done. What the fuck is happening to me??? Did I just masturbate touching my sister’s sleeping boyfriend??? I’m losing my fucken mind???

******

After he cleaned himself up he lay back down next to Ian and started to run his fingers through his bright red hair. He no longer cared if what he had done was inappropriate to some people, he had decided Ian was already his. He drifted off to sleep listening to Ian’s soft breaths.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey's reaction upon hearing Mark's report

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains rough sex, not between Mickey and Ian. if this is not your thing please don't read the middle or all of it. this is my first time writing smut thanks to the help of my wonderful friend Brett and his now questionable sex life.

For a minute Mickey wasn’t sure where he was. He could feel a body against his side and what felt like a hard cock pressed into his thigh. In a rush it all came back to him. Ian was in his bed. He had to stop himself turning to rut against the large cock he could feel digging into his leg. It was fucken torture. As he lay there trying to decide if he should get up to piss or enjoy the feel of Ian against him a while longer, the events of the night before started flashing through his mind.

What the fuck had he done? He had never behaved that way before. This was his sister’s boyfriend asleep next to him and he had… fuck. Thinking more about what had happened, what he had done while Ian slept next to him he realised he wasn’t upset at all with how last night turned out. Yes, it would have been a hell of a lot better if Ian was awake and participating, but a big part of him found it hot as hell. He wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. 

Was that really so wrong? In his mind he didn’t think it was. He was sure it wouldn’t be long before Ian was his permanently and he would be doing a lot more than what happened last night to him. Fuck, he was getting so turned on he knew he had to get up before he made a mistake. He had to follow his plan and work his way slowly into Ian’s life. Get close to him and ensure he became his without upsetting his sister too much or not. He hadn’t decided yet if he cared or not as long as Ian became his. He needed to get Ian’s trust and friendship first. 

He slowly got himself out of bed trying not to disturb Ian and made his way to his bathroom. After he peed and brushed his teeth, he put out a new tooth brush for Ian and jumped in the shower. He needed to get himself together and ready for when Ian woke up. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to wait long.

He got in and out quickly or he knew he would need to relieve himself again at the thought of Ian in his bed. He dried himself off the went back to his room to get dressed. After he was done he went back over to the bed deciding to wake him up.

“Hey, sleepy head, time to get up man.” He gently shook him till he opened his eyes. “It’s nearly lunch time, you hungry?”

“Mmmm.” He moaned and stretched out his whole body causing the sheet to nearly expose his opened boxers making Mickey start to get hard again. 

“I left you a toothbrush, so get yourself together.” Fuck he had to get out. He slowly moved back off the bed trying to adjust his half hard cock and slipped out the room. 

When Mickey left the bedroom, he decided it would be safest not to be alone with Ian again today. He needed to learn some self control around him. Didn’t want to risk scaring him off. He would start with small doses of Ian till he could build some type of resistance. Ian was becoming more addictive than any drug he knew, so he needed slow exposure whenever he could get him alone. He would make sure he saw him as much as possible, every day if he could, but try to always have Mandy or Iggy nearby. He would start with making him his friend and go from there.

Before Ian had time to come out he sent Iggy off to get them all burgers and forced Mandy to wake up. She was a grumpy bitch after a night of drinking, but she moved when he told her Ian was still there and Iggy was getting them lunch. They both came out their respective rooms at the same time and ended up cuddled together on the lounge, which made Mickey bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself snapping at Mandy. 

Ian stayed for nearly an hour more while they all ate lunch, then he had to go home and baby sit while his sister went to work. Before he left he thanked Mickey for letting him stay over and hanging with him after Mandy passed out. Mickey was beaming inside and casually told him to come over anytime, which made Mandy smile at him. He went back in his room and crawled into bed to the side Ian had slept in and lay on his stomach inhaling his scent grinning stupidly to himself.

******

Mickey had arranged to meet Mark for his report that night at one of the local bars, the Alibi. While it was a bit of a dive, the owner Kev was a nice guy, the beer was always cold and the regulars were all locals. He got there just before 8pm, Mark hadn’t arrived yet so he sat at the bar and chatted to some of the locals he knew.

He was half way through his first beer when he felt a tap on the shoulder. Mark had arrived. He finished the conversation he was having, ordered a pitcher of beer for them to drink, then they headed over to the far booth and sat.

They both remained silent as they poured beers and lit up smokes. Mickey sat back in his seat, and made an opened handed gesture indicating for Mark to speak.

Mickey remained stoic as Mark reported Mandy and Ian’s night out and fought to keep his face neutral, even if he could feel blind rage coursing through him.

Mark reported; they got off the L on the northside and walked the short distance to boys town. They went to an upmarket club called Fantasia which was obviously, being in boys town a predominately gay club. They appeared to know the doorman who let them in ahead of people waiting in line which indicates they are regulars. I paid the doorman $50 to go straight in, which you will find in my invoices. 

On my initial entry to the club I could not see them so I went to the main bar in the centre of the club and a few minutes later I found them due to Ian’s height and hair. They were with a group of 5 young men a little older than them. From the interaction between them all they appeared to be friends. Ian and Mandy seated themselves at the table with them after greeting each other. They all had numerous shots. After about 20 minutes Ian and Mandy went to the dance floor. They danced with each other closely, like an intimate couple. After a few songs Ian’s attention was drawn away from Mandy and he appeared to be looking for someone. A young man approached them and started dancing alongside them. Ian indicated to one of their friends who came over and started to dance with Mandy while Ian left the dance floor with the other man and they both went into the bathroom. 

Mickey was now clenching his hands under the table using all his will power to remain calm as Mark continued.

Approximately 15 minutes later Ian exited the bathroom looking flushed, but alone. He proceeded back to the table where Mandy was seated with their friends. 

Over the course of the next 2 hours I observed a similar routine repeated 2 more times. Ian and Mandy would dance for a few songs then a friend would join to be with Mandy as Ian left with a different man on 2 separate occasions to the bathroom. He was gone for approximately 15 minutes each time then returned back to their table. 

Approximately 30 minutes before they left Mandy left Ian at the table speaking while she went to dance alone. Ian kept up his conversation while continuously watching Mandy dance. A man approached Mandy during this time and started to dance close to her. Ian flew out of his seat over to Mandy. He got in the man’s face appearing to be speaking to him. The man’s face visibly paled and he moved very fast to get away from them. Ian and Mandy danced together for about 5 minutes after the altercation then went back to their table and continued drinking and talking with their friends. 

I noticed a man a few seats away from me at the bar who I thought was the first man Ian went into the bathroom with. He was drunk and I bought him a few drinks and asked him about the red head he was with earlier. He told me he thought he had found someone to spend the night with and went with him to the bathroom. He said Ian refused to kiss him or want anything more than to fuck him. He told me after the red head had bent him over the toilet and fucked him he left before he even had a chance to put his pants back on. About 10 minutes later Ian and Mandy said goodbye to their friends. I followed them out of the club and they got a taxi back to your place. 

When Mark was finished speaking Mickey lit up a smoke and stared at the far wall for a few minutes before he was able to speak. 

With a serious, but emotionless voice Mickey spoke. “I emailed you all the information I got from Ian last night. I want you to continue to observe him and find out any additional information you can on him and his family. I also want you to look into the Kash and Grab convenience store down the road I’m thinking of buying, discretely of course.” As soon as Mickey finished speaking he stood, handed Mark an envelope and left the bar with murder seething through his veins.

******

Mickey had never been so angry in his life. If Ian had been standing in front him right now he would kill him with his bare hands. He imagined wrapping them around Ian’s throat, watching the life leaving his eyes. How could Ian betray him like this. He belonged to him and no one else. The thought of Ian fucking 3 different men in one night then coming back to Mickey’s home and sleeping in his bed, laying along side him after what he did. Acting so innocent and smiling at him with not a care in the world, well fuck him. Two can play at this game.

Half an hour later Mickey got out of a taxi in front of the fairytail in boys town. Thoughts of Ian betraying him still running through his head, keeping his rage at the forefront of his mind. 

He walked past the doorman and entered the club going straight for the bar. He ordered and downed 3 double whiskeys before he even thought about looking around. For a Saturday night it wasn’t that busy he thought, then remembered it was still early. 

All he wanted now was to pay Ian back for cheating on him, but had no interest in putting any effort into it. He knew just how to deal with that. He ordered another drink then looked around for a bouncer. When he spotted one he waved him over.

“I want a private dance with a red head. You got any?” He said while glaring at the bouncer.

He indicated for Mickey to follow him towards where the private rooms were and told him to wait. He came back a few minutes later with 2 red headed twinks in tow. He looked them over and wasn’t that impressed. One was wearing gold booty shorts and the other had on black sparkly ones. They had nothing on Ian’s physique and both were obviously not real redheads. 

He turned back to the bouncer, “both of them, an hour, how much?” He had more emotion in his voice when he ordered his drinks.

“Depends what you want.”

Mickey raised his eyebrows at him responding, “You obviously don’t have what I fucken want or you wouldn’t have bought me 2 bottle job redheads hmmm? I’ll give you $200 for the both, whatever I want, and be gone before the hours up.

The bouncer opened the door to the private room putting his hand out for the money which Mickey put in his hand as he entered. He sat himself on the cheap looking lounge and threw $20 at gold booty shorts ordering him to get him 2 more whiskeys, then turned to black sparkly shorts and told him to prep himself. He then sat back lighting up a smoke and waited for his drinks.

In less than 5 minutes gold booty shorts was back with his drinks. He stood up and pulled his pants down, threw back one of his drinks and placed the other on the side table. He then ordered him onto his knees, grabbed his head with both hands and shoved his semi hard cock as far down his throat as he could. He pulled back out slowly and fucked back into his mouth even slower as his cock got harder.

He had always liked to watch while getting his cock sucked but this just felt wrong. He wasn’t seeing the lips he imagined or the green eyes he wanted looking up at him, but he needed to get off and he was gonna get what he paid for. 

He look away from his face but held on tighter to the fake redhead’s hair and started to push into his mouth as far as he could. He heard him gag a few times which turned him on more. He started to fuck his mouth faster. He looked back down to watch as his cock slid in and out of his wet hot mouth, heard him whining and saw tears gathering in his eyes. Fuckkk, he was so close, he just wanted this over with now so he started to thrust hard and deep, hitting the back of his throat watching his face turn red. He groaned out loud as he came down his throat, holding his head in place till he felt completely empty. 

As Mickey pulled out he started to gag on his cum as it sputtered out his mouth and ran down his chin. He watched him try to catch his breath which made his dick twitch but he’d had enough for tonight. Maybe he’d come back tomorrow. 

As he was pulling up his pants he noticed the other one standing naked near the lounge, he’d forgotten him. He may as well go again. He’d already paid he thought as he pushed his pants fully off this time. He picked up his drink and lit another smoke to give himself a few minutes to get it up again. 

When he put out his smoke he took the lube and condom from black sparkly pants? He couldn’t remember now and ordered him to bend over the lounge. He then turned to the one still kneeling on the floor and told him to suck him hard.

This time Mickey let him go at his own pace as his head bobbed on his soft cock slowly getting him hard again. He wasn’t too bad, he only wanted a fluffer this time. When he was fully hard he pulled out of his mouth turning back to the other one and put the condom and lube on.

He repositioned him on his hands and knees on the lounge, then Mickey kneeled on one leg and kept the other on the floor behind him. He lined himself up and pushed inside him in one hard movement and heard him grunt out loud. He wasn’t surprised to find he wasn’t that tight. Mickey probably wasn’t his first that night, but right now he didn’t give fuck.

Giving him only a few seconds to adjust, Mickey started to fuck him slow but hard while he watched his cock repeatedly enter his loose hole. For the second time that night he felt like he was going through the motions of just getting off and wanted this over just to feel some relief.

Mickey grabbed onto his hips hard and started to pound into him relentlessly. He felt him slipping down under him effecting his position so he let go of his hips and lent forward to hold onto his shoulders pulling him back up so he couldn’t fall forward. He held him so tight he knew he would leave bruises but didn’t care as long as stayed how he wanted him. 

Mickey lasted a few minutes more fucking into him as hard as he could while he felt him start to tremble in front of him. He came into the condom still thrusting hard and stopped when he felt spent.

He didn’t waste any time, just pulled out, dropped the used condom on the floor, redressed himself and left without looking back at either of them. 

He heard the bouncer speak to him over the loud music as he left the room. “Tips are always welcome.”

Mickey glared back at him. “So are tight fucken assholes but I didn’t get any of em either.”

******

He mind wasn’t clear remembering his ride home, he must have had more to drink than he thought. When the driver spoke to him he looked out the window and saw he was home. He paid him and got out and just stared up at his house for a few seconds. 

As he stormed through the front door he felt his rage and betrayal at Ian rising in him again. He barely noticed Iggy and Mandy in the lounge room playing the Xbox as he made his way to the kitchen to get a bottle of whiskey. He felt their eyes following him to his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. 

He started to pace the length of his room. Back and forth, back and forth, then felt himself start to get dizzy. He stopped and looked at his bed and felt fury rising again. Fucken cheating bastard. Who the fuck did he think he was. Then he realised he wouldn’t be able to sleep in his bed that probably still smelled like Ian. Thoughts of Ian’s betrayal again started taking over his mind. Fuck this he thought and flung open his bedroom door.

“I need one of you fuckers to change my sheets right fucken now. Better be done by the time I finish my fucken shower.” He didn’t even wait for a response knowing it would get done immediately and not giving a shit who did it.

He got in his shower washing away any trace of the rent boys he had fucked that night. He hadn’t done that in a few years. He always picked someone up to fuck. Didn’t pay for it anymore when he knew he could get it for free or a drink or two. He stayed under the water till he felt enough time would have passed for his bed to be remade, then dried off and threw on clean boxers and made his way back into his bedroom.

He stood at the foot of his bed staring at it. He knew Mandy had made it, the sheets weren’t straight. She had also left a clean ashtray in the centre of the bed holding 2 joints within. He grabbed the ashtray off the bed and sat on the floor leaning against it and lit one up. He was calm enough to close his eyes and just focus on his joint, feeling the smoke entering his lungs and exiting was starting push all thoughts out of his head.

When he finished the second joint he felt completely relaxed. He moved onto his bed, opened his whiskey taking a big gulp and lit up a smoke. He tried to think of how his night had gotten so fucked up. He ran over the conversation with Mark repeatedly in his head, remembering the rage and betrayal he had felt which was now being soothed thanks to too much weed and whiskey. He tried working out what he had done for Ian to treat him like that. He just couldn’t make sense of it. “Fuck this” he thought out loud for the millionth time that night deciding he would sleep and revisit his fucked up life tomorrow.

******

Mickey shot upright in his sleep panting and trying to work out where he was. He looked around, it was still dark outside, but he could see he was in his bedroom. His head was spinning and he could feel bile rising from his stomach. He ran to the bathroom and was sick. Fuckkk was running through his head, must have had more than I thought. He couldn’t remember throwing up in at least a year or two. 

When he couldn’t bring anything else up, he slowly forced himself to stand so he could go get some pain killers and water. The house was quiet as he padded to the kitchen and back with a bottle of advil and a few bottles of water. He went back to the bathroom sliding down the wall along side the toilet in case he needed it again and because the cold bathroom tiles felt so good against his sweating body. 

All thoughts of Ian had been push aside in favour of the huge hangover he could feel taking over him. He dozed on the bathroom floor for an hour or two, he wasn’t quite sure how long really when he noticed the sky through the window starting to lighten. He forced himself upright, popped a couple more pills and drank another bottle of water. His head was still pounding, but at least his nausea had subsided.

He wasn’t ready to leave the cool feeling of the tiles just yet and was trying to work himself up to have a shower when he began thinking about the previous night. He felt a lot calmer now and was able to process all the information he’d been told about Ian.

He jolted upright again, but too fast this time and got hit by an intense dizzy spell as he realised how he had fucked up last night. He’d lost control of his emotions and instead of processing the positives he had let his emotions take control, which was something he had never done before and had no experience controlling them. He rested his head in his hands and forced himself to reprocess what Mark had told him while blocking out his emotions. His used his normally analytical mind to take over and break down his newfound knowledge.

Breaking it all down to key points, then examining them he realised that (a) Ian was gay and Mandy was his beard. Best friends they may be, but he wouldn’t be stepping on his sister’s toes pursuing her boyfriend. They obviously cared deeply for each other as shown by Mandy letting people think her and Ian were in a relationship, rather than her being with someone who wanted her back sexually. Protecting him in their neighbourhood much like he kept himself closeted. Ian had also proven how much Mandy meant to him by his reaction to a stranger trying to dance with Mandy at the club. One of the most important things Mickey respected was loyalty and Ian had proven that by his protective nature towards his sister. 

(b) He now realised Ian had not cheated on him. Ian had behaved like any other 16 year old single gay male. He was in a safe environment, obviously had a lot of stamina he smirked while he thought of that and had done exactly what he would do in the same exact circumstances. Have as many meaningless fucks as he could, knowing no one back home would find out he was gay. 

(c) Probably the most important revelation was that Ian was not his. Not yet anyway, even if in his own mind, he had already claimed him as his. Yes, it still hurt thinking about him fucking 3 other men while he sat at home waiting for him like some bitch to come back with Mandy, but Ian didn’t know how Mickey felt about him or that he was even gay too. Most importantly he realised that Ian also didn’t know he now belonged to him or would soon enough.

Now knowing it would be a hell of a lot easier to seduce Ian and make him all his, he would think out his plans more logically, just like with his various businesses. He would force himself to think first and to remember his end game. He would find any way he could to get to know Ian more and to show Ian how much they had in common. He would befriend him and try to spend as much time together as possible and show Ian the type of life he could have being with him. 

He fell back asleep knowing he wouldn’t be without Ian for long. He always got what he wanted and knowing his job would be so much easier helped him to forgive Ian for unknowingly betraying him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey thinks with his big head, Ian has a crush and Mandy has a revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised I hadn't really put any of Ian's thoughts into the story so far, but I pushed myself to make the effort. Hope you all enjoy.

Mickey was surprised when he woke the next afternoon with only a mild hangover. Luckily, he had been sick and was able to rehydrate. He really fucken hated throwing up, so no more angry drinking he thought.

He was at the table again going over their finances. He was looking for some spare funds to buy the Kash & Grab. It wasn’t for sale, but that had never stopped him before and Ian worked there. He had already been thinking of a new business he could set Iggy up in as his other brothers were already busy with a few each. He would also need a housekeeper a few days a week and he already had someone in mind. While he was busy concentrating Mandy came noisily out of her room calling out to him. 

He gave her a can you not see I’m busy look, which she just ignored and plonked herself down on the chair next to his placing her laptop down on the table. “Fucken what?”

“I need your opinion, well an opinion you may have had when you turned 17. Ian’s birthday is in 2 days and I still can’t decide what the fuck to buy him. Help me pleassseee!!!” she asked holding onto his hand and begging with her eyes.

Mmmm. This could be a good opportunity for him. What should I get him… his mind drifting off in thought when he felt Mandy slapping his arm.

“You still with me asshole.” Mandy snapped up close to his face.

“I don’t know what the fuck he likes. Whatcha got so far hmmm?” 

“I’ve got about 10 different things he’s into, but I can’t decide and some are a bit pricey. I can’t spend too much cause he’ll just feel bad that he can’t spend as much on me and my birthday is next month, so I don’t know what to do. Please help me Mick!” She was now rambling and yelling at him. 

He sighed pulling her laptop in front of him. “Ok show me what you got so far.”

She started flicking through the pages she had open talking a mile a minute. He could feel his headache coming back when he stopped her.

“Fine. This all the shit he’s into?” she nodded to him. “Ok I’ll make you a deal. You go down the road and get us a few pizza’s while I go through all this shit here alright.” He pulled $50 out his wallet and waved her off.

He waited for her to leave before he went through the pages again. He settled on the Victorinox site knowing Ian wanted to go to WestPoint, so he’d be into a lot of their shit. It took him less than a minute to pick out a reasonably priced present for Mandy. A large Trekker Swiss Army pocket knife in camo colour and a nylon belt pouch that came to just under $100. Who doesn’t love a good pocket knife and it should be handy for his ROTC shit too. 

He then decided he would also get Ian something from here, but he would arrange to have it sent anonymously as he had no reason to spend money on his sister’s boyfriend he’d just met. He saw they had a store on the northside so he could head over there tomorrow without Mandy, offering to pick up her present saying he had work over that way. He started going through the site again, but looking to spend a lot more than Mandy was. 

He decided on a watch. Something functional that Ian could use like he’d chosen for Mandy, but something that also said it was more than just a gift. He went through all the watches he thought would suit Ian based on needs, functionality and looks. 

They had a huge range to choose from but he didn’t have time to look now. Mandy would be home anytime now with dinner, so he put the address in his phone. He would have plenty of time to pick something out tomorrow.

******

He was tired from spending over an hour choosing a present for Ian, but in the end he was more than happy. He briefly explained to the lady he needed it delivered first thing tomorrow morning, but needed it to remain anonymous. She was more than happy to oblige, even told him she thought it was romantic, but guaranteed she wouldn’t disclose who had sent it. She offered to gift wrapped Mandy’s gift, but he realised that could give him away, so he went to another shop and bought her some paper to do it herself.

Walking from the shops he decided he wanted to move along with his plans to buy the Kash & Grab, so he sent off a text to Mark telling him to make it his priority. That would get him another step closer to Ian being his boss. He could feel his impatience rising again and fought with himself to slow down. He couldn’t afford to lose it like he’d done the other night. What if he’d bumped into Ian that night? He would have surely fucked up his chances and he couldn’t risk that happening. He knew he couldn’t stop until Ian was his completely, but he had to be smart about it, even if it took time.

Sitting on the L on his way home he got out his phone and decided it was time to put his plans into words to ensure he followed them. He opened his notes and firstly put in his end goal. To be in a serious relationship with Ian. To get Ian to be his completely and for Ian to want no one but him. Satisfied with his end game for now, he decided to outline ways to get closer to Ian. He started with things he already knew like common interest, but so far was only coming up with shooting. 

He was trying to think up ways to find out what else he enjoyed and decided Mandy would be a good way to start. He would get her wasted after school, she could never shut the fuck up after a few joints and would think it was brotherly curiosity. He already knew Ian worked every day after school, so hopefully, if school was as important as he said, he would go home after work and he wouldn’t have to worry about him going out clubbing at least during the week. That still left his Saturday night free. Fuck, he had to think up something soon, then put it too him so he felt he couldn’t get out of it.

He was nearly home when he had an idea. He was sure Mandy had told Ian he would need his approval to date her, so he could use that as a getting to know you better night. He got out his phone and called up the shooting range he liked to go to and booked Saturday night for two. No need for Mandy to come as well, he was spending time bonding with her boyfriend. He would head over to Ian’s work in a few hours when he knew he would be there. 

******

Out the corner of her eye she saw something small coming towards her, then heard her brother yell out “catch”. She grabbed it out of the air and opened it. Inside was a good size ounce of weed. She stuck her noise into it an inhaled. “mmmm. You got me the good shit Mick.”

“Fuck you is what I got you. I got me the good shit, but if you’re a good fucken girl and start rolling for me I might let ya have some.” He smiled at her while maintaining his sarcastic tone.

“Fine. Fine. How many you want asshole.” I’m a slave for the good shit Mandy thought.

“Umm, make about 6-8 and get 2 ready for me now. Gotta go see someone shortly.” He was looking forward to this he thought as he went to freshen up before going to see Ian. 

As he came out his room she looked up at him. He was holding a small gift bag up. “You got it! I love you Mick!” She flew over to him hugging him.

“Get the fuck off me bitch or you aint getting it k.” She stood still putting on her fake good girl smile, which he just ignored. “You done?”

“Yep, even bagged them for you. I’ll make you some more, but my payment is one now k.” She knew he’d make Iggy wait, but not her.

“Fine, but get your ass in the kitchen soon aye. Back in an hour or two.” He was on his way to see Ian. Now to work on getting himself under control.

******

Ian was sitting behind the counter at work flicking through another magazine he wasn’t paying attention to daydreaming. Why did he always get crushes on straight, unavailable to him, fucking men. He always seemed to fall for the straight ones. All the gays guys he met seemed to exhibit at least one obvious give away. He didn’t mind fucking them, but he was only truly attractive to men who didn’t come across as gay. He didn’t know if it was because of where he grew up or just him, but the only men that interested him for more than sex were the rough, even thuggish type. Maybe when he got to WestPoint he would meet a guy that ticked all his boxes, that was available and liked being bent over. Definitely not his girlfriend’s brother who would not get the fuck out of his head. 

He thought back to last Saturday night. He’d had a great time out with Mandy, even banged 3 guys. Just because they all happened to be brunettes and shorter than him didn’t mean he was falling for Mandy’s brother. Yeah, like fuck it didn’t. When Mickey insisted he stay in his room and watch movies he nearly shat himself. He knew he was just getting to know him cause of Mandy, but it didn’t help his 16 year old libido. He was just glad he’d passed out so soon and didn’t try anything stupid. He really needed to get over this crush soon. Mickey virtually ran this neighbourhood and he didn’t think he’d be too pleased to find out his sister’s boyfriend would rather bang him than her.

When he’d finally found something interesting to read the bell over the door went off. He turned his magazine over and plastered on his work smile. And there he fucken was. “Hey Mickey.” Be casual.

Mickey decided to just jump in while his confidence held out. “Hey, Mandy told me it’s your birthday tomorrow and seeing as you two are serious and all I got you a present.” That came out perfect.

Ian felt a bit nervous now. “You umm, you didn’t have to do that, it’s cool.”

“Na man. Already done. I booked a couple of hours at the shooting range for you and me this Saturday night. Be at mine by 5pm and we’ll head off then. You need to borrow some of my guns or you got your own.” Good he thought. Give him no way out.

“Fuck, really. Umm, I don’t own any guns. Use the ones at ROTC practice but I got my license.” I sound like an over eager 5 year old. What would Mickey be thinking now. 

“I’ll bring extras then. Don’t eat either. We’ll go get some pizza or something when were done k.” Fuck that was easier than I thought. He even sounded enthusiastic. “Oh yeah, just another small gift for you for tomorrow.” He said handing him the bag with the 2 joints.

“Thanks Mickey. This is really too much ya know.” Can I handle more time alone with him?

“No problem, can’t go shooting with my brothers, they all got records. See ya then aye.” Now leave slowly.

Ian’s head felt like it was floating as he watched Mickey slowly walk out the store. Did that really just happen?

Mickey felt a hell of a lot better than he did yesterday, even his confidence seemed to be in full swing again. He’d take that as a good sign. Home now to pry more information out of Mandy.

******

Mandy was already wasted on the lounge playing COD and swearing at people she was playing with online. He sat next to her and lit up a joint while he waited for her game to end.

She threw her controller across the room swearing and waving her arms around, he couldn’t help but laugh. “You done yet bitch, hmmm? Turn this shit off and have another smoke with me.” Fuck she moved fast when you waved weed under her noise. Game turned off and sitting smiling at him in less than 5 seconds.

“Thanks for picking up my present for Ian today. You’re my favourite big brother.” 

Kiss ass he thought handing her over the joint, watching her inhale and smirk/smile that way she did. “He seems alright. How bout you tell me a bit more bout him if he’s gonna be around a lot now. Like to know who’s hanging round the house.” He didn’t allow ‘friends/acquaintances’ over hardly ever preferring to keep their home life private, so he knew him allowing Ian over would make her happy.

“Um, let’s see.” She tried thinking of safe things to share with him. Yes, perfect. “He’s a lot like you and me, not really into the whole friend thingy, spending time with a group type ya know.” 

“Whatcha mean?”

“He has school friends he talks to there, but doesn’t see out of school. Same with his ROTC, just like I do. You could say we’re also best friends, we do girlfriend boyfriend shit together and friend stuff.” Perfect, Mandy thought. 

Perfect, Mickey thought. “Yeah I sought of picked that up already. Seems to spend all his free time with you or his family.” 

She was so happy this was going well. “They’re like that, real close, but they didn’t have a Mickey.”

This wasn’t going as well as he’d like getting anything new out of her, but he already knew why she was being careful, but trying to seem open at the same time. He sat staring at her a minute forcing himself not to put his hand up to his mouth. She knew his show’s to well, like when he touched his bottom lip. Time to tell her.

“6 months is a long time to date, especially when you hid it from me.” He tried to sound only a little disappointed in her. He paused then said in a friendlier tone. “So, I decided if you’re that into him, dating this long, I’m gonna make an effort too.”

Jumping on him hugging him again. “You’re the best. Sorry, I should’ve told you, but thanks for giving him a chance. I’m so fucken wasted and happy.” She laughed like a loon.

He laughed with her. “That’s why I decided to give him a present for his birthday too.” She looked confused now. “Decided to spend some time getting to know him as you two seem so serious and all. Taking him out Saturday night, just the two of us.”

“I don’t understand.” He’d been expecting that.

“Don’t worry. Not taking him out to see strippers or nothing. He said he liked shooting so I booked us some time at the range. Told him when I was out and he seemed excited.” He rubbed his hand through her hair messing it up. “You know I have no one to go with so I thought why not.” Great, she was a lot calmer now.

“Go finish up dinner, I’m fucken starving aye.” He smiled at her then turned on the TV ending the conversation.

******

Ian felt himself being pulled out of sleep, fighting to stay in his dream which was now slipping away. He rubbed his hands over his eyes trying to pry them all the way open. Now he was fucken dreaming about Mickey. He forced himself out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom to have first shower in celebration of his birthday.

He’s was glad he’d locked the door this morning as thoughts of Mickey kept fucking with his head. He had to get over this dangerous crush he had, but right now he was hard as hell and needed some relief. He’d have to make this fast before the whole house woke up.

He soaped up this hand before taking holding of himself firm and hard. He started to move his hand slow at first, savouring the sensation of the soap helping to glide his hand slickly up and down his cock. He began stroking himself faster remembering how Mickey looked laying in bed along side him. Even through his drunken haze he had burned into his memory the paleness of his skin, his broad shoulders and defined arms. He imagined running his hands over them, feeling their hardness under his caress, running his tongue along Mickey’s collar bone up his neck biting down hard enough to bruise. He could feel himself getting close now. He twisted his fist roughly around the head, thumbing the slit as remembered the way he felt when Mickey looked at him. He came hard, spraying the tiles with his cum, feeling the moan leave his mouth and hoping it wasn’t too loud. Fuck that was good. 

Still coming down from his high he heard banging on the door over the sound of the shower. Fucken Lip. “Get your hand off your dick birthday boy, I need the shower too.” He could see Lip’s smug face in his head. 

He quickly finished up and wrapped a towel around himself flinging open the door to find Fiona, Lip and Mandy all smiling hugely at him. Fuck me dead. Next thing he knew they were all hugging him and wishing him happy birthday. Telling him to hurry the fuck up and come down stairs. When they finally left him he went and got dressed then jogged down the stairs to join them.

Fiona had gone all out this morning. Eggs, bacon and pancakes. Ian turned her from the sink and hugged her tightly. “You didn’t have to you know.” They really can’t afford to splurge like this.

“Bills are all paid up this month. You deserve this, enjoy.” She kissed him and pushed him towards the table.

They all eat noisily until all the food is gone, then Lip hands him a package. “Really this was enough guys.” He always feels guilty when they spend money on him. “He opens up the brown packaging already knowing what’s inside. 4 new henley tops he likes so much in different colours. He thanks and hugs them all as Lip leaves to go back to college and the kids grab their lunches heading off to school and taking Liam to preschool.

Fiona joins Ian and Mandy at the table when Mandy pulls out her gift for Ian. “Mandy, we agreed no presents.” She never fucken listens.

“I know, I know, but I got it on sale and I can’t return it so you don’t have a choice.” She smirks at him while lying through her teeth.

He opens it carefully knowing she would have gotten him something he’d want or need. She knew him so well. He can’t help the smile that takes over his whole face. “Fuck Mandy, I love it, but you spent too much.” He lent over kissing her gently on the lips knowing how much this had really cost.

“Too late now and I know you’ve wanted on of these. Cool how it does all this shit aye. And it’ll come in handy for your ROTC shit and when you go off and leave us.” She fake cries at him. 

“I’ve always wanted a Swiss Army knife. I really don’t know how to thank you.” He can’t believe she did this. Probably the best present he’s ever gotten.

While he’s checking out all the functions someone knocks loudly at the door. He ignores it knowing Fiona will answer it then hears her calling his name. “Ian, this guy says he has a delivery for you.” She sounds a bit confused.

He makes his way over to the door, signs for the package and takes it back to the table where the three of them sit and stare at it like it might explode any second. He looks questioningly at them both and they shrug their shoulders having no idea what it is.

He opens the package a lot faster than he did Mandy’s feeling a need to know what it holds inside. When he open’s it he sees a velvet box that looks the size to hold a watch. There is also a card and he forces himself to read it first.

 

Ian,  
This watch reminded me of you, beautiful and strong.  
Happy birthday   
Alek  
xox

 

“Who’s it from?” he can hear the curiosity in Mandy’s voice.

He didn’t answer and instead opened the box. He felt his breath hitch, his eyes widening in shock. He looked up at Fiona and Mandy, then back down admiring what it contained. 

MTM Special Ops Black Patriot.

He knew this watch. Had admired it in some of the military magazines he’d read at ROTC. He also knew it wasn’t cheap. Maybe as much as $500. “Fuck me.” Is all he can get out.

Mandy leans over him so she can see the card and watch and gets the shock of her life. She makes a strangled noise which captures Ian’s attention. “I know right. Fucken beautiful, but I have no idea who Alek is or why he would spend so much money on me.” She just nods trying to look as happy as he is.

“Your girlfriend doesn’t seem to be doing a good job little brother if you’re attracting secret admirers.” Fiona laughs at them both as she leaves the table to get ready for work.

“Whatcha think Mandy, should I wear it or maybe send it back. I have no idea who this Alek is, he could be a fucken stalker, but fuck me I really want it.” He looks up at her waiting for her to answer.

She bites her tongue knowing exactly who fucking Alek is. “I don’t reckon it’s a stalker. Maybe it’s someone who can’t let people know who he really is, got lucky and fell for your sorry ass. My fucken boyfriend.” She hugs him not knowing what else to say.

Ian puts the watch on. He can’t help but admire it and puts the card into his wallet to look at again later. They pick up their school bags and leave, Ian wondering who his admirer is and Mandy seething that her brother would keep this from her.

******

Mandy never realized what a good actress she could be until she had to spend the whole day at school by Ian’s side. She barely managed to keep up the façade of loving girlfriend while dealing with her new found knowledge. Ian was to enraptured with his very expensive gift from her brother to notice anything off thank fuck.

After she left Ian at work still gushing over that fucken watch she slowly made her way home. She needed time to think now that she was alone. 

How the fuck had she missed this? Mickey never had a girlfriend, but she’d heard he’d banged his fair share. She knew, just like for Ian it wasn’t safe where they lived. Is that why he kept this from her? Did he not trust her? Did her brothers know? If they did she would fucken kill him. 

Thinking back to how they had all grown up living under Terry’s vicious rule before Mickey, as they all liked to joke ‘liberated them’. She remembered her father bragging about fag bashing, even killing a few he’d claimed. He called them abominations, among other names she hated to even think about that needed to be kicked straight. 

No wonder Mickey had hidden, but it still didn’t excuse him from hiding from her and trying to steal her boyfriend. 

Oh, fuck me. Mickey must know Ian is gay and not really her boyfriend. How the fuck did he find out, or was he just trying to really steal him from her. Now she was getting pissed off again, so she picked up her pace heading home to confront him.

******

Today must have been one of the longest days of Mickey’s life. Ian wouldn’t leave his mind for 5 fucked up minutes. He’d fallen behind a bit with work and really needed to get back on it, but no way could he concentrate till Mandy got home. He’d managed to spend a few hours with his brothers and was satisfied with their numbers. If only their father would do them all a favor and drop dead. 

He’d made it back an hour before she was due so he could try and wind down and smoke a few joints. He had to seem relaxed when he asked how her day went. So far it wasn’t working.

He heard her key in the lock and sat back on the lounge forcing himself to look relaxed and hoping she wouldn’t be too pissed with her boyfriend’s admirer. 

She looked so furious it even scared him a bit. They were too much alike. “Hey you ok?” He tried to sound concerned as she slammed the front door closed.

Mandy just glared at him. She’d only gotten angrier as she’d strode home. Fuck it and fuck him. 

She raised her voice, but not loud enough she would be heard outside. “No Mick, I’m not alright. Some fucked up bitch sent my boyfriend a very expensive present for his birthday.” She waited for his reaction. 

“Shit Mandy, you better find out who the fuck this bitch is and put her in her place.” Fuck, said the wrong thing he thought. And why the fuck was she just staring at him. 

“Don’t play dumb with me ALEK.” She watched him pale before her eyes and for the first time today felt a smug satisfaction wash over her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panic attacks, family support and Mickey makes a new purchase.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING FOR PANIC ATTACKS** If you suffer from panic attacks this may effect you. I have based what happens, the side effects of a panic attack on what happens to me personally, though they may effect people who suffer from them differently.  
> If this makes you uncomfortable and you want to skip that part, it takes up about a third of this chapter. 
> 
> Thankyou to everyone who has commented and sent kudos. I appreciate your support more than I can say. Sharing my story still scares the hell out of me and I'm so grateful to know people are enjoying it.

He wasn’t ready for this. His body was going into panic mode. He hadn’t felt this way in years. What the fuck do I say? Stop fucken looking at me! I can’t fucken move. Why aren’t my legs working? How did she find out? Is she gonna tell Ian? Is she gonna tell Dad? I can’t fucken breath! Am I having a fucken heart attack! Why is the room spinning? Fuck I can’t think! OMFG I’m dying! Why is she yelling at me? Don’t fucken touch me! I have to get outta here! NOW! NOW! NOW! 

Suddenly he felt himself spring off the lounge, his legs started working again as he pushed past his sister, throwing open the front door and running as fast as he could.

Mandy stood in front of him waiting for a response. Anything. As much as she was enjoying making her brother squirm, she’d never seen that before, she was starting to get worried. He seemed to be in a trance, staring right past her like she wasn’t even there. Then suddenly he seemed to be having problems breathing, holding his chest while, ‘was that panic?’ looking like a caged animal. He looked about him with confusion and fear in his eyes. OH FUCK, what have I done. 

She reached out for him, calling him with worry in her voice. “Mickey, Mick. Look at me please. It’s ok. I’m sorry. Please calm the fuck down. Mick!”

Mandy was screaming at him now, terrified of what she’d done, but he wouldn’t look at her. She could see him struggling to breath as she pleaded with him. Suddenly he surged up off the lounge pushing past her and running out the front door. She went after him, but he was too fast. By the time she got out onto the street he was gone. 

She wasn’t sure how long she stood outside staring down the street when she felt someone take hold of her. She instantly knew it was Iggy and collapsed into his arms crying. Fuck, what had she done! 

******

As Mickey ran he could feel his thighs starting to burn, his head spinning from lack of oxygen as he struggled to breath and maintain his stride. He couldn’t stop himself now that he was moving. He needed to get away from that house. From those memories that sometimes still found a way to worm their way through his head. He didn’t notice the people on the street that watched him run by or the houses he passed fleeing to his destination. His body knew where he needed to go, where he’d been before so long ago. 

Mickey stopped after he jumped the fence into the old run down dugouts and bent over panting. He forced himself to walk/stumble over to the water tap and turned it on desperate for a drink. He cupped his hands and took a few mouthfuls before putting his head under it trying to cool down. He shivered as he felt some water run down his top, it was cold against his skin. He pulled away turning it off and walked over to the benches and lay down. 

He started to take in his surroundings, the familiar smells and feelings he remembers so well. His breathing starts to slow down, to calm as his mind registers ‘safe place’. He hasn’t needed this for so long he thought he was over it. Maybe he would never forget the fear of what his father would do to him if he ever found out. 

He lights up a smoke feeling the calming effects the nicotine has on him. He forces himself to do the breathing exercises he’s gone so long without needing. He places one hand on his stomach to measure his breathing and inhales deeply through his nose feeling his hand and stomach lift, then exhales through his mouth for a count of 8. 

He barely feels his fingers heating up as he drops his wasted cigarette, using all his energy just being in the moment. Feeling his body slowly fill with air and the tension release with every exhale he makes. 

He’s not sure how long he’s been laying down, but the sun is setting and he’s able to again process the world around him again without the overwhelming fear of panic taking over his body. He’s ready to start thinking about Mandy, her confronting him, then witnessing him have a panic attack. He’s not sure whether to feel embarrassed or humiliated, but before he can give it more thought he hears someone jump the fence and come towards him.

“Hey, you want some?” Iggy asks him holding a lit joint out to him. He takes it, but stays quiet. He hears his brother lay down further up the bench and light up another one. They both smoke their joints down before Iggy speaks again. “You scared the shit out of Mandy ya know. Think maybe it’s time you tell her.” It wasn’t a question. 

Despite Iggy’s more laid back style, he had always been there when Mickey needed him. He wasn’t the dominant force his brother was, but he could read Mickey like a book. He was the one who found and taught him the breathing exercises when he was young, he was even the first one to figure out the panic attacks really only happened when Terry would go off on a rant about anyone gay. It didn’t take Jamie and Joey long to figure it out after Iggy told them his theory. They weren’t their father, they loved their mini tyrant of a brother who was by far smarter than them all. 

Despite Mickey being Terry’s obvious favorite, all the boys stuck together to protect him. Without actually saying the words directly to Mickey they let him know they knew he was gay and it was ok, just by the way they would speak when Terry wasn’t around and the knowing looks they gave him. Their unwavering support and loyalty for their brother was what had given Mickey the confidence to eventually push their father aside and give them all a better life.

But Mickey’s closest relationship was with Iggy, that’s how he knew where to find Mickey today. He’d followed after him one time when he’d first started disappearing at the age of 12. They didn’t discuss feelings, they really didn’t know how, but just Iggy’s presence seemed to calm Mickey quicker even when they hardly spoke. 

Iggy had been waiting for something to happen between Mickey and Mandy since the moment Ian walked in their front door. The way Mickey looked at Ian that first time made him question whether or not Mickey was being too over protective, but the next time he saw Ian and Mickey together was after Ian had slept over and this time he knew. Mickey had his first crush and it seemed like a fucken big one, so he wasn’t that surprised to see Mickey run past him, not even noticing him as he went by and when he turned the corner he saw Mandy standing in the street crying. He gathered her up, took her inside and put her on the lounge with a joint and a beer and told her he’d be back soon. 

When Iggy felt enough time had passed he spoke to Mickey again. “Should I call up Jamie or Joey, she’s home alone man?” He knew that was all he had to say as Mickey slowly stood up and they made their way home not saying a word.

******

Mickey could feel his anxiety rising again when they approached the house. He really couldn’t deal with Mandy tonight even if it really hadn’t been her fault. He looked over to Iggy trying to get his thoughts together but before he could speak Iggy did it for him.

“I’ll speak to her tonight. Tomorrow is soon enough. I’ll bring you in a few joints and some dinner k.”

Mickey just nodded in reply. He really did have the best older brother. They had all been there for him in one way or another, just like he had been for all of them, but he’d always had something more with Iggy. Maybe cause they were the younger 2 brothers, closer in age and Jamie and Joey were 2 and 3 years older and seemed to gravitate towards each other like they did. 

Mickey went straight to his room averting his eyes from where he knew Mandy would be waiting for him on the lounge. He heard her call his name softly but he really wasn’t up to discussing things right now. He would speak to her tomorrow. Right now he really needed to be alone and wind down in private. 

******

When Mickey woke up he realized he’d slept for nearly 12 hours. While he loved his sleep, this had to be a new record. Panic attacks really took a lot out of him and sleep seemed to be the only way he got over them. He freshened up then went out to the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Mandy behind him. He’d thought he was home alone.

“Hey, Iggy said it was ok if I stayed home. I texted Ian to bring me any work I miss.” Mandy made sure she kept her tone friendly and quiet. She felt bad enough about yesterday even if she had no idea. While she liked to torment Mickey when she could get away with it, he was still her brother and the one who had given her a better life than she was destined for, even if he tended to be a control freak.

“Umm, that’s cool. We should probably talk, but not before I get my coffee k.” Part of him wasn’t surprised to find her home. Even if she came across as tuff as shit she could be extremely sensitive with people she cared about.

When the coffee was done he poured them both a cup and headed over to sit next to her. What she said next surprised him again.

Lightly touching her brothers arm she spoke gently so not to spook him again. “Look, I know you’re not a talker, bout feelings and shit so don’t think you have to get too deep ok. Iggy already told me what it was like when we were all young. Guess with the age difference between us I never noticed what was going on. But just so you know, I have no problem with you being gay. I know how dad is but you guys always seemed to get me away when he was off on one of his rants, so thanks.” She knew her brothers all protected her from their dad, non more so than Mickey, but she thought it was important that she told him. To reassure him of how grateful she was.

Mickey felt such relief knowing Iggy hard done the hard part already and Mandy so readily accepted it. Since he found out about Ian being gay too he’d decided to tell her, but still hadn’t got around to it. 

“I was gonna tell you soon. Even before I met your ‘boyfriend’.” She squeezed his arm tightly which gave him the strength to continue. He looked down avoiding her eyes when he spoke again. He knew he’d look guilty. “Didn’t even realize I’d fucked up on the card. Should have known you’d be there when he got it.” He suddenly felt a hard slap to the back of his head. “Oh, what the fuck Mandy!”

She was smirking when he looked at her. “You tried to steal my boyfriend. Dazzle him with your expensive gift asshole.”

He couldn’t help the chuckle that came out of him when he saw she was fucking with him. “Yeah, umm, sorry bout that but you can’t blame me. Have you seen your boyfriend!?”

“Course I’ve seen MY fucken boyfriend. The day we spoke for the first time, me and Ian, and by the way what happened with that teacher was the truth, I tried to come onto him and he came out to me. Was my idea to fake date. Just something about him made me want to be close to him, protect him and he keeps the creeps away from me.” She fondly remembered how he’d defended her without even knowing her.

“So, you gonna tell me how you knew about Ian hmmm.” Curiosity was eating at her.

He had to be careful now with what he said. Didn’t want to piss her off again by telling her about Mark following them. She’d flip her fucken lid over that. 

“Really, 6 months together and you haven’t banged? Highly unlucky with you skank.” Fuck that was good. 

“Fuck off. So, umm, gun range huh. You gonna make a move on my boyfriend Saturday night?” She was bouncing around a little getting excited.

“Nah, not yet. To be honest I ain’t never been with anyone for more than just a bang, but something about him makes me want more. Thought maybe if we got to know each other first it’d be easier. More comfortable like.” Back to honesty now. 

Still feeling guilty about last night she though fuck it, give him so hope. “Keep this to yourself or I’ll hurt you, but Ian did mention he thought you were hot and you are definitely his type.” Mandy said encouragingly. 

“Oh yeah?” She nodded back at him. “Right, well, I’ve had enough of this sharing girly shit. Put the game on and let’s kill some bitches.” He smiled pushing her away from him, feeling a lightness in his chest. Mandy and him were good and Ian thought he was hot. Fuck, I’m a girl, he thought fighting to keep a stupid smile off his face. Mandy noticed and smirked at him before she got up. 

They spent the rest of the day pigging out, getting stoned and spending way too much time on the Xbox. Somewhere in the middle Iggy came home and joined them. Mickey felt a fuck ton better than he had earlier that day. Opening up to Mandy had been hard, but it seemed to bring them closer together.

Ian came over on his way to work and dropped off some school work that Mandy had missed that day. He didn’t stay long but he did mention to Mickey he was looking forward to Saturday night. That finished the day off perfectly for him, knowing that Ian was excited to go out with him even if he thought Mickey was just being friendly. He still had to bite his tongue when he nearly asked Mandy not to say anything to Ian, but she was his sister first and just like their brothers she would keep his secret. 

******

Mickey spent the next few days getting up to date with work. He checked in with his brothers who didn’t really need his supervision anymore. He mainly went over the books and collected all the profits from their side businesses to run them through all their legal businesses. They had a very healthy bank balance now and could afford to spend more to bring up their clean, up and coming wealth. They all got paid minimum wage and supplemented their lifestyles from the parts of their business that weren’t exactly legal. He even paid Terry and Mandy a wage, except his fathers was spent on alcohol and drugs and Mandy’s went into a bank account for when she went to college. All perfectly legal. Now he was ready to go forward with his next purchase.

He was meeting Mark at a random bar on the northside, never the same place twice, so they could go over whatever intel Mark had gotten on the Kash & Grab. 

When he entered the bar he saw a lot of people in suits. He still preferred the more dive type of bar typical to the southside, but he had no problem blending in just about anywhere. Mark got there before him this time and was seated at the bar with a beer. Mickey walked over and order one too, then they made their way over to a table in a quieter area.

Mickey was a hell of a lot happier, but angry at the same time with this report than the previous. At least it wasn’t directed at Ian this time, but it did effect him to a degree. Turns out the owners of the Kash & Grab, particularly the husband, had a fondness for underage boys. There was no evidence that he had any type of relationship now or in the past with Ian but he was still sickened to read and see evidence of other teenagers. Mark had also gotten pictures as recent as last weekend of the husband having sex with a male who look to be about 15y in the freezer of the store. Fuck knows how he got them, but he was good at his job, that’s for sure so Mickey never asked. He also noted the boy had been working there 2 months and always worked the weekend shift with the owner.

Over the course of the last 4 years there had been at least 18 different teenage employees, all male who never seemed to last more than 3-4 months. The only one to last nearly 2 years was Ian. From the rosters Mark was able to obtain and the few statements some of the past employees were willing to give for a small fee, Ian’s shifts only seemed to overlap from the owner finishing and Ian starting. 

As for the wife, she was the hard one to work out. She was the one that appeared to run the business and their lives with an iron fist. Mark had numerous reports of how she consistently demoralized her husband, not caring if they were in front of their children or employees. There was no way she couldn’t know about her husband’s behavior and a few of the boys told Mark that she did know.

As for the business itself, it turned over a decent profit, but got consistently hit by shoplifters. During the day when the husband managed the shop, he just let the thieves basically help themselves. He seemed just as scared against them as he was with his wife. How the fuck were they still in business Mickey wondered.

They didn’t own the building, but they had 5 years left on their lease. Mickey could work with that, maybe later even buy the building before the area picked up. The business including stock was valued at approximately $20,000. Mickey thought half that would be more than fair given the husbands proclivities if they were made public. 

Mickey thanked Mark, a lot happier this time, but wanted him to continue looking into the Gallagher’s. He still couldn’t fight his need to know anything and everything when it came to Ian. He took the file with him, but not before giving Mark another well padded envelope.

******

When Mickey got home he decided he would discuss the file and business with Iggy before his other brothers, even knowing they would go with whatever he decided, they might snap and go after the husband before Mickey had a chance to buy it and he didn’t want to risk that.

Iggy agreed with him that they would only benefit from buying the Kash & Grab. He briefly mentioned that Ian worked there, but either way he wanted the business too. Iggy would run it for them as he had yet to get into that side of the business. It would also make it easier with him there to clean more money.

He also thought up a way to get even closer to Ian and at the same time get into his good books even more. He knew Ian’s sister had several part time jobs, but had never been able to get permanent work, so she would be perfect to work in the shop during the day full time. He would make it worth her while, so when he did finally make Ian his it would go a lot smoother with his family. Iggy would only have to be there a couple of hours each day so they would need a fulltime employee during the day. He might even sweeten the deal more and offer her health benefits which he knew she’d never had before.

He could feel his thoughts getting ahead of him again with Ian. He decided he would continue writing it all down in his phone as he’d done before. It actually helped him to focus on his end goal instead of just flying by the seat of his pants, which with no experience in the ‘boyfriend’ department he was sure to fuck up somehow. Business? No problem, but Ian, fuck he couldn’t think straight most of the time. He could feel his emotions starting to consume him again and knew he couldn’t wait much longer. He had to make Ian his and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer.

Tomorrow him and Iggy would visit this Linda and propose their deal. He already had an appointment with their lawyer for the next morning to pick up the documents for the sale/purchase of the Kash & Grab which they were both positive would happen. That left him with 2 more days till he would get to spend time alone with Ian again. 

He really needed to stop thinking about Saturday night so much. It was really fucking with his head.

******

Paper work in hand Mickey and Iggy made their way to the Kash & Grab. They had also made a stop to the bank on the way and had a cashier’s check ready, they were so confident. When they entered, they saw the husband Kash behind the counter. Mickey just glared at him a few seconds then ordered him to get his wife down.

A few minutes later she came into the shop from a door at the back. She had a blank look on her face as she tried to work out the situation. 

When Mickey presented her with a copy of the folder he had at home and his proposition she seemed to deflate before his eyes. Her husband looked terrified, like he might bolt any second and watched as Iggy made his way over to the door and turned the lock. 

She never spoke to her husband, didn’t even look at him. She readily agreed to Mickey’s proposal in fear of neighbourhood reprisals and in fear for her children’s safety. She asked to keep a copy of the file for what, Mickey didn’t give a shit. He gave her 2 days, Sunday afternoon by 4pm to be ready to leave. Not one threat was made, it wasn’t needed. She signed the agreements and simply pointed to where her husband had to sign. She accepted the check for half the value of their business and silently left to go back up to their apartment to start packing.

Mickey and Iggy couldn’t help themselves. She had left them standing there in front of her terrified husband who was shaking like a leaf. They just stared at him as tears started to run down his face and his pants became noticeably wet. Satisfied, they made their way out and went for a celebratory drink at the Alibi.

******

The next day Mickey got up to another hangover, though not as bad as his last one. It went away quickly with the help of some advil. The previous night he’d drunk at least half a bottle of whiskey trying to relax and will himself to sleep.

Today was the day. He had a few joints to help him chill out, he couldn’t drink knowing he would be driving in a few hours. He was so caught up in his own thoughts he hadn’t realized the time until Mandy pointed out that Ian would be over in an hour. 

When he got out the shower he was surprised to find a brand new button up and a new pair of jeans laying on his bed. He knew Mandy had gone out and bought them for him. They were both black he was happy to find. After he dressed he put on his best cologne and just stared in the mirror. 

He normally wasn’t one to worry too much about his clothes as long as they were neat and clean, but he really wanted to make an impression on Ian. He felt himself starting to spiral through his thoughts. Would Ian like what he was wearing? Would he say the wrong thing or even be able to form sentences? Fuck, he’d never been so nervous in his life and it wasn’t even a real fucken date. Not for Ian anyway. 

He was broken from his thoughts when he heard Mandy knocking on his door and calling out that Ian was here.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's non date night, what the fuck could go wrong and how the hell did it end like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my forth rewrite of this chapter. I just couldn't get a handle on it but I hope you all like what I settled on. I have absolutely no confidence with dialogue so please forgive what I'm sure will be many errors, but I couldn't get away without any.  
> Thanks again for all your support, comments and kudos.

“Fuck no Ian!” Fiona screeched at him. She could feel her heart speeding up, concern and worry flooding her mind.

“What?” Ian responded not understanding what he’d done.

“Why the fuck are you dressed like this is a date, hmmm? You got a death wish?” She asked, hearing her own voice elevating as fear for her brother was filling her head.

“Come on Fi, I gotta make an impression. I am dating his sister ya know.” He smiled at her trying to convey the innocence of the situation, even if he’d been day dreaming of tonight all week. 

She grabbed his arm hoping to get through to him, “Ian, you do realize who the fuck Mickey Milkovich is don’t you. You give him the wrong idea and… fuck, I don’t even want to think of what he would do to you.” She could feel the color leaving her face trying to get through to her stubborn assed brother.

“Fi relax, I asked Mandy what I should wear tonight, she even picked this out for me.” He himself thought about dressing down more but Mandy said this would be perfect and she did know her brother. 

“Fine, but I still don’t like it. And watch your fucken flirting, Mandy may be your girlfriend, but Mickey didn’t get where he is being naive. If something happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do k sweetface hmmm.” She held her palm against his cheek trying to convey her love and motherly support at the same time. She’d heard all the stories about Mickey, everyone had, so she didn’t think he would be happy if he knew his sister’s boyfriend was actually gay. 

He kissed her cheek gently, not a care in the world. Mandy would have found some way to get him out of tonight if she thought he was in danger. “Don’t worry so much. I’ll text you if I crash at Mandy’s. See ya.” He called as he bounded down the stairs and out the door. 

She went back downstairs to the kitchen, poured herself a big glass of the box wine V had bought over for her earlier and tried to compose herself. She didn’t want to give off her nervous energy to the younger ones, but she couldn’t help feeling tonight was a bad idea. While she adored Mandy, was grateful she was Ian’s beard and best friend, she still couldn’t stop the gut feeling she had. ‘This wouldn’t end well’ kept repeating in her head like a fucken mantra. Fuck. 

******

Ian forced himself to walk slowly. He knew he was grinning like an idiot and needed to get himself under control before he saw Mickey. He knew Fi was right. He had to be careful when he was alone with Mickey, Mandy wouldn’t be there tonight to be his reason for being so overly happy. Fuck, it was gonna be hard. His mind felt as if it was in a whirlwind. One minute he would feel his beautiful watch and gaze into it imagining who had sent it to him, who the fuck was Alek, then the next minute he couldn’t stop thinking about Mickey. Ice blue eyes, full soft looking lips and pale skin. He had it bad and now he was starting to panic a little, his mind playing tricks on him, dreaming up scenarios that maybe Mickey did see through him and wanted him as much as he wanted him. What if Mickey was secretly Alek, fuck that would be perfect, but he doubted it. He seemed the type to just go for whatever he wanted so he didn’t hold out too much hope, but he could still dream.

He managed to distract himself remembering his conversation with Linda yesterday. She said they had a family emergency and had to leave, go back to wherever they had previously lived, which he couldn’t recall. The business had been sold and the new owners would be taking over Sunday afternoon. She said she would vouch for him to keep his job, but he didn’t hold out much hope. He really didn’t want the hassle of having to find another job that so perfectly fit into his busy schedule. He still had to tell Fi they would be missing out on his reliable pay packet and they barely made it through the month as it was. He decided not to tell her yet until he had a chance to speak to the new owner on Sunday. At least thinking about his job helped to break him from his unrealistic thoughts of Mickey. 

He only had just over a year until he would be leaving for WestPoint anyway. He had already received preadmission based on his ROTC, recommendations and academic grades. He had one more physical to pass in the winter and he would be set. Right now though, he had to focus on getting another job. 

His mind was so preoccupied he didn’t realize he was here, at Mickey/Mandy’s place. Ok, now deep breaths, clear thoughts, fuck, get out of my head. Damn. Fuck it he thought as he knocked on the door.

The door swung open and he was so happy it was Mandy. Beaming at her he hugged and kissed her hoping she wouldn’t notice how excited he was.

She eyed him from head to toe, “you look too hot for shooting, maybe I should have picked this out for when we go out together, hmmm.” Mickey would be pleased she thought.

He watched as Mandy knocked on Mickey’s door letting him know Ian was here. He felt his excitement rising again at the thought of being alone with Mickey, but at the same time he heard his sister’s voice running through his head. He knew she was right. Fuck. After tonight he would avoid any unnecessary time spent alone with Mickey. Between work, hopefully, ROTC and school he should be able to get out of most situations that involved them spending time together. 

Mickey stood behind his door and counted to 10 while taking deep breaths. He could do this. He was in control, not his fucken dick. Not his fucken mind. I want him so badly I feel sick. I can’t do this. I need to see him. FUCKEN STOP. 

Mickey slowly opened his door and stepped out. Ian had his back to him and was talking to Mandy and Iggy. Even the back of him is perfect. I’m gonna fuck this up. I’m gonna come on to him and he’s gonna reject me. I think I’m having another panic attack. Fuck he has to be mine now. I can’t deal with this. 

Mickey leaned against his door as waves of dizziness washed over him. He couldn’t be alone with Ian, not in the state he was in. He knew he wouldn’t be able to control his desire and if Ian rejected him he was scared of what he may do. No one ever said no to him without consequences. He didn’t want to hurt Ian, he wanted to make him his, but… he didn’t want to think of what he may do if Ian didn’t want him back. Fuck emotions.

Then Ian turned around. “Hey Mickey.” He sounds so happy to see me. “Can’t wait for tonight.” He’s fucken beaming at me. 

And I’m back to being fucken mute. My mouth going dry, forgetting how to speak. He looks so beautiful. Did he dress for me? He looks so fucken hot wearing those faded denim jeans, skin tight white t and that leather jacket. Oh god I want to touch him so badly, run my fingers through his vibrant red hair. It’s like the sun is shining down on him and his eyes. Fuck those big innocent bright green eyes. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want him right now. Why do I sound so fucken gay. Fuck no I’m losing it, not now please no.

Concerned, Ian rushed to Mickey’s side putting his hands on his shoulders and trying to speak to him. “Mickey, you ok. Look at me. Mickey?” As Ian looked at Mickey’s face he saw him turn a pale shade of green and before he could speak again Mickey heaved and threw up over both Ian and himself. 

Ian yelled to whoever was listening. “Fuck, one of you get the door, I have to get him into the bathroom quick.” He felt someone go past them and the door opened, but he had no idea who. He was fully focused on Mickey and helping him.

Ian put his arm around Mickey and bodily dragged him into his room through to the bathroom and sat him on the toilet seat. He didn’t know if anyone was behind him or not but he asked, “What did he eat today?” He grabbed a towel and wet it wiping down Mickey’s face. “Mickey? Look at me please.”

He heard both Mandy and Iggy say they didn’t know. “I think he has food poisoning. He’s also clammy and cold at the same time. He has all the symptoms.” He kept wiping his face with the cold wet towel. “Mickey, what did you eat today?” He asked as he lifted Mickey’s face up to him. He thought he said pizza but didn’t want to push him further. 

Ian turned quickly to Mandy and Iggy, “Look, just leave him with me. I’m already covered in vomit and I’m experienced in first aid. I’ll take care of him.” He turned back to Mickey. “Is that ok with you Mickey? I’ll take care of you. I know what I’m doing.” Mickey gave him a small nod of his head and Ian heard the door close behind him. 

Ian was glad he had come tonight, even in the state he was now in covered in sick, but having younger siblings it wasn’t the first time. Fuck he realized at that moment this could be more than a crush, but he pushed that aside as his training took over. He just hoped Mickey wouldn’t be uncomfortable with what he had to do next. 

He crouched down between Mickey’s legs and spoke to him again. “Mickey, I’m going to have to undress you. I can’t leave you like this, but don’t worry, I’ll leave your boxers on. I have to get you cleaned up. Both of us actually.” He smiled softly at him to let him know what he was doing.

When he saw Mickey move his head he started to gently remove his shirt. Next he took off his shoes and socks, then stood him up and wrapped Mickeys arms around him and slowly undid his jeans and took them off while trying to keep him mostly upright. He walked him slowly over to the shower and turned it on getting in with him fully clothed, resting him against the wall with the water flowing over him. 

Seeing Mickey was able to stay upright he took his own now wet clothes off leaving his boxers on too and got in with him. “Not making you uncomfortable am I? I know what I’m doing k?” Last thing he needed was Mickey freaking out that his sister’s boyfriend was now nearly naked in a shower with him but he couldn’t leave him like this. 

Mickey gave him what appeared to be an attempt at a smile so Ian went ahead and washed him down fast, but gently. When he was done, he lent Mickey back against the wall and quickly cleaned himself up. 

“Back in a sec.” Ian quickly dashed into Mickey’s room and opened a couple of draws until he found some clean boxers and went back into the bathroom. “I can’t leave you in wet pants so I’m gonna quickly get them off you so you can dry off and put on cleans ones. Is that ok.”

“Yeah.” Mickey got out clearly, but was now starting to feel humiliated and turned on at the same time. What the fuck is wrong with me? Luckily Ian was fast getting his boxers off and wrapping him in a towel and sitting him back on the toilet seat. He tried not to look but couldn’t help himself when Ian took his boxers off too and wrapped himself in a towel. Even after all this all could think was Ian. Ian had showered and washed him. Ian had cared for him. Fuck he really needed help.

Ian picked up another towel and started to dry Mickey’s hair, arms and torso. “I fucken hate food poisoning. Had it a few times myself and it fucken sucks. At least it hit you before we left ay? Now let’s pull these up ok. Just stand a bit and I’ll pull em up under your towel.” Ian managed to get the clean boxers on him without any problems and sat him back down while he quickly dried himself and got on a clean pair too. “Just sit here another minute. Be right back.” He gave Mickey a grin then and left the room.

Mickey heard Ian telling Mandy to bring a bucket, some clean towels, water and a basket for the dirty clothes. He came back in and put his arm around his waist and walked him over to his bed that Ian had already turned back. He put him in sitting up and took the bucket and water off Mandy as she went into the bathroom to pick up the dirty clothes. 

He realized he didn’t feel humiliated any more. He had ‘food poisoning’ and Ian had looked after him. He was still looking after him and he had no intention of letting him leave even if he had to make himself seem more sick than he was. He felt his true self taking over again. His nerves dissipating and his natural confidence returning. He sat back keeping up his sick appearance, knowing he now felt fine, not 100% but fine and thought about getting Ian to stay the night again to care for him. He fought the smirk he could feel about to burst onto his face. 

Mandy stopped in front of him and just looked at him concerned. He wanted her to know he was ok, so he checked Ian couldn’t see him from the bathroom where he was cleaning up and looked up to Mandy and winked. She smirked, shook her head at him and left. 

Ian came back over to him fussing around the bed, pulling the sheet up to his waist, feeling his face and helping him drink some water. The only thing missing now was Ian riding his dick. Fuck stop thinking that. Last thing he needed was a visible erection. He hadn’t seen the front of Ian when he took off his boxers but from behind… pull yourself tofuckengether asshole. 

Ian didn’t know what to feel. He was naturally concerned about Mickey, he didn’t like to see anyone in distress like that, but at the same time he was thrilled he was there to look after him. It also didn’t help his growing feelings the way Mickey had trusted him and was looking at him so gratefully. He decided to just bite his tongue and thought fuck what he’d decided earlier.

“If you want, umm, I don’t mind staying over and keeping an eye on you. I already told my sister I might not be home. That’s if you want, no pressure if you prefer to be alone.” He barely managed to get out, part of him hoping Mickey would say yes and part of him hoping he’d tell him to go home. He knew he was fucked either way. He really needed to speak to Mandy, but how do you tell your best friend you desperately want to bend her brother over and fuck him till he can’t walk straight. Damn it this was the last thing he needed, especially after Fiona’s warning.

Ian was playing right into his hands. He could hardly contain his excitement. For once he was grateful for his anxiety, who’d have thought throwing up on you crush would end like this.

Mickey put on a sickly sounding voice as he said, “Really? I don’t wanna put you out, but I’d appreciate the company.” Perfect. He knew he had him now.

“Sure. If you’re up to it we can just hang here and watch a few movies, I’ll just text my sister and let her know.” She gonna fucken kill me tomorrow, but what the hell.

“I’m really sorry bout tonight. Promise I’ll make it up to you, maybe we can try again next week, that’s if your free.” You better fucken be, he felt himself getting territorial again.

Even if I wanted to say no I can’t now. He looks so fucken guilty thinking he ruined our bonding night at the range.

“No worries. Just let me know if you need anything.” Ian couldn’t help the slight laugh that fell out his mouth. Mickey was looking up at him now, one eyebrow raised in question.

“Fuck sorry, didn’t mean to laugh at your expense, just my brother always jokes when one us gets sick that I turn into a mother hen fussing all over them, telling me I’d make a great mother and wife one day. He’s a real asshole most of the time.” What the fuck did I just say. I sound like a fucken girl. He’s probably gonna throw me out now. Damn.

“I’ll remember that next time I need a nurse. Thanks man.” What the fuck, now I’m imagining him being my fucken nurse or better still my wife. He’s seriously fucking me up, but fuck he’s addictive and perfect.

He watched as Ian now went out and got more water and smokes, fuck I really need one now. He put on the lamp on ‘his side of the bed’ then turned on the TV settling down next to him.

“How you feel about a Die Hard marathon? It’s still earlier enough to get a few in.” Young Bruce Willis was always a good distraction Ian thought.

Mickey just nodded sliding down the bed more to get comfy and to enjoy his smoke knowing he had Ian for another night all to himself.

******

By the time the first movie ends Mickey is starving. If they had made it out tonight they would probably now be eating burgers somewhere. Fuck he’d kill for a burger now but he had a feeling he’d be lucky to be allowed to eat at all. Fucken food poisoning. Although he would happily starve over and over again if it meant he would be laid up in bed with Ian in only boxers. Just then his stomach rumbled loudly and he felt Ian looking at him.

“Hungry?” Mickey nodded at him while maintaining his under the weather face. “Ok, but you can only have some plain toast with butter. See if you can hold that down first. Then maybe we can try some popcorn.” He watched as Ian got up and walked around the bed. He felt hypnotized as Ian seemed to glide out of the room. Fucken girly thoughts again, he cursed himself. At least Ian was still only in boxers he smirked to himself.

As he waited for Ian to come back with his measly dinner of toast he contemplated making a move on Ian. He knew Ian was gay, he knew Ian thought he was hot, but at the same time he had to follow through with his plan to go slow. Maybe just something really really small, just a little tease to get Ian’s interest peaked and maybe some of his own too. He could get away with that couldn’t he?

He lay there contemplating for a few minutes when it hit him. Fuck that’s it. He shot up so fast he felt a little dizzy. Hmmm, think I might get a little sleepy after I eat. Can’t be blamed for anything that happens when I don’t know it’s happening right. 

All that water was now going through him so he pulled himself out of bed just as Ian came back in with a plate piled with toast. 

“Don’t know if I can eat all that.” Fucken toast for dinner.

“It’s for me too dummy. I’m hungry myself.” He felt bad that’s all Ian was gonna eat.

“Look man, go have some real food, just don’t eat it in front of me ay.” Cause I might strangle you. Never eating toast again.

“I don’t mind, really. I’ll just feel guilty knowing your stuck in here eating this.” Stop fucken smiling at me.

“Fine, now put that shit down and walk with me in case I get dizzy. Don’t wanna embarrass myself more and wet the bed as well. And before you even say it I can piss by myself just fine.” He gave him an annoyed look when Ian reached down to help him up and held his arm as they walked to the bathroom.

“All better now? I have our gourmet dinner waiting by the bed.” 

“Do you never stop smiling. Just fucken help me get back.” Mickey joked putting out his arm waiting to feel Ian’s hand on him again. He nearly sighed. 

After they were both back in bed Ian started the next movie and they ate their fucken toast. Mickey grumbled under his breath the whole time while Ian smirked at him. He was far from satisfied but it was worth it to let Ian take care of him. 

When they were done, they smoked a few joints between them and got back into the movie. Mickey was really enjoying watching them, it had been a while. It was a shame he would be missing out shortly he thought as his first yawn came over him. Ian didn’t seem to notice, so he waited a long minute to make an even louder yawn putting his arms into it as well for effect. That got Ian’s attention.

“You tired? Food poisoning can take a lot out of you.” Ian spoke softly to him now.

“Sorry if I crash on you. My body feels pretty fucked up after everything.” Another yawn escaped him.

“You want me to turn down the movie?”

“Nah, I sleep like a rock. Just turn of the lamp it’s glaring in my eyes a bit.”

Ian turned it off and went back to the movie and Mickey scooted down more into the bed to fall ‘asleep’.

Mickey had no problem staying awake and waited till he judged about half an hour had passed before he slowly made his move closer to Ian making sure to keep his breathing even. He was sleeping after all. 

Ian was laying slightly elevated so he could see the movie but far enough in the bed that if he fell asleep he’d still be comfortable. He was so into the movie he didn’t notice that Mickey had gravitated to his side of the bed. He startled slightly when he felt a body roll close to him and a hand slide onto his lower abs. 

Ian felt himself stiffen as Mickey settled on his side up against him. He stared at the hand laying on his lower abs dangerously close to his cock wondering if he could move it without waking Mickey and freaking out that Mickey would wake up and he would freak out. His thoughts were jumbling and he couldn’t think straight. What the fuck do I do.

He tried to relax, to settle his body as he’d been taught and willing his slowly hardening cock to go down. He stared at the hand not knowing what he should do when it started to move slowly up to the top of his abs and settle again. This was fucken torture. Why was this happening to him? ran through his mind on repeat. He wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or not but he felt the fingers move slightly like they were caressing him. It couldn’t be happening, must have been some really strong weed they’d smoked earlier. 

After he managed to get himself under control and Mickey seemed to have settled on the position he was now in he tried to refocus on the movie. He had been calm for maybe 2 minutes when Mickey had to fucken move again. This time though it was his leg. It wasn’t slow, but it wasn’t fast either as it made its way over one of his legs and effectively pinned him in place. 

Ian could feel his breathing speed up slightly and his erection fighting to come back. If Mickey woke up now he would surely kill him and he wasn’t ready to die. He’d never been so scared and turned on in his short life. 

When he could think yet again he realized it was probably easier and safer to just go with it. Mickey said he was a heavy sleeper, but if he tried to move him there was a good chance he would wake. 

He noticed the movie was now ending, he was sure he’d missed nearly half of it and decided he would just try and fall asleep. Shit happened when you slept so maybe it would work out. He slowly pulled out two of the three pillows that had propped him up from under his head and shoulders and was now laying nearly flat. He was tired and to be honest part of him was really enjoying Mickey laying partly on him so he willed himself to let sleep take over. 

He was on the brink of unconsciousness when he felt Mickey move one more time before sleep claimed him. Mickeys hand now moved slowly across his body so his whole arm embraced him across his waist and his hand rested against his side and pulled him gently closer to him. He was vaguely aware of turning into Mickeys embrace and falling deep into sleep. 

Mickey was sure Ian would wake him or at least try and slip out of the bed when he first placed his hand on him. When he felt Ians body relax he decided to go for more and stop Ian being able to leave the bed at all by pinning him down with a leg. It took a bit longer for Ian to relax after the leg but eventually he felt him move his pillows and his upper body flatten out. 

Thank fuck for all those breathing exercises he’d done for years. He was sure Ian didn’t suspect he was awake for any of that. As he felt Ian’s breathing slow down into sleep he decided to just go for what he wanted this whole time. He wanted Ian in his arms, so that’s exactly what he did. As he embraced him he felt Ian move into him turning slightly and falling deeply asleep. 

He felt like he was in heaven but he still wanted more. He always wanted more Ian. He gently moved Ian a bit lower and turned him a bit more so Ian was now facing him. He slipped his other arm under his neck and pulled his upper body close to him and felt Ian snuggle into his neck and wrap his arm around him in return. He now had a leg between Ian’s legs and he could feel Ian’s thigh between his. He reached down and pulled his leg higher so he could feel Ian’s thigh against his rock hard cock. 

He forced himself to stop there. It was fucken hard but he knew he couldn’t go further even if he just got himself off. He settled for having Ian in his arms, feeling his skin against his. How fucken soft and hard at the same time Ian’s body felt. He knew he would never get enough of him and would never want another man the way he wanted Ian. He realized with a certainty that Ian was it for him and he would trample over anything in his way to keep him his, maybe even kill.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The definition of Confusion; the state of being bewildered or unclear in one's mind about something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to everyone for your supportive comments and kudos. It won't be long now till our boys breaking points.

Mickey didn’t think he had ever slept so well. He woke in nearly the same position as he fell asleep, with Ian wrapped tightly in his arms and their legs entwined. He couldn’t see Ian’s face as it was still firmly nestled in his neck, but the feeling of Ian’s breath against his skin was indescribable. The feel of Ian’s body against his was something totally new for him. He’d never wanted or spent the night with another man preferring to fuck and leave. He would give anything to wake this way every morning for the rest of his life. 

He was now more than sure Ian had feelings for him too after the way he had cared for him last night. Ian only seemed concerned with his wellbeing, not even worried that Mickey had been sick all over him. He didn’t even have time to really process what had happened as Ian had taken control of the situation immediately and the next thing he knew they were showering together and Ian was washing him. What surprised him even more was that it wasn’t even sexual, it was something deeper that he didn’t know describe. 

He knew it had to end. He had to move before Ian woke up and keep the illusion that he had unknowing snuggled up to Ian in his sleep. Pretend like it never happened in case he scared Ian away. His behavior last night was really pushing it in regards to his plans to move slowly, but fuck if he could help it. He knew he was extremely close to his breaking point, but he had to use all the discipline he could muster to hold out a little while longer. His plans for the next few weeks were centered on getting closer to Ian and after the way Ian had given in to him last night he was positive the outcome would go his way, so he slowly and gently unwound his and Ian’s body from each other and slipped quietly out the bed.

******

Ian was awoken by the feeling of someone lightly touching his face and blowing in his ear. It startled him so much that he pulled away quickly and ended up falling off the bed and landing painfully on his hip. 

Mandy’s face came into view over the side of the bed laughing at him. “Whatcha doing down there hot stuff?”

“Some fucken girlfriend you are, get round here and get me the fuck up. Aaaargh.” Fuck, he really thought that was Mickey. Fuck he landed heavy.

“Come on my precious, take my hand.” Mandy teased while helping him up. “Bit jumpy there aren’t ya and still only clad in my brother’s boxers, hmmm.”

“You forget what happened to my clothes? Not like I really had a choice.” He tried to sound annoyed so she wouldn’t pick up on any underlining feelings he was struggling to hide.

“Well, my brother’s knight in shining boxers, I washed your fucken clothes… thank you would be the right response.”

He could tell by her face she could see right through him. He hoped to fuck that Mickey didn’t wake up the way they had gone to sleep or he’d be a dead man.

He tried to brush it off with a joke. “Please accept my humble apologies. I was rudely awakened and seem to have forgotten my manners my lady bitch.” He threw back at her chuckling, hoping to distract her so he could get dressed and get the fuck out fast. 

After he was dressed he started heading out of Mickeys bedroom with Mandy hot on his tail. He didn’t see anyone else thank god, so he went for the front door as fast as he could. He needed to get home and seriously think through all the shit that happened last night. Fuck, he then remembered he also had to go beg to keep his job and hope the new owners weren’t assholes.

“Hey, wait the fuck up Ian.” He heard Mandy call out to him and knew she was following him out to the street. He really couldn’t just run off so he stopped and turned back to her. Holding his breathe she didn’t tear him a new one.

Mandy wrapped her arms around his neck and spoke quietly into his ear. To anyone passing by it would look like a girlfriend and boyfriend simply being affectionate. “Don’t hide from me Ian. I know you nearly as well as I know myself. I know last night wasn’t planned but you need to be careful and I don’t just mean with my brother. I can see it clearly in your eyes when you’re around him and if I can, other people may be able to as well.” Mandy then pulled back putting her hands on his cheeks and resting her forehead against his. “Promise me you’ll be careful Hmmm?”

Ian nodded to her unable to find words right now, then gently kissed her lips goodbye and hurried off, jogging all the way home.

******

Mickey was happy. Wait, no. He was fucken ecstatic and getting a slightly sore face from all the smiling he’d done so far today. He was walking home from his brother’s place slowly while he filled in his Ian plan/diary keeping note of last night while it was still fresh in his memory. No fucken way did he want to forget any little detail about last night. 

He had experienced new things he never expected he would. He had spent the night with another man. He had spent the night cuddling another man while they slept. He had shown enormous restraint when it came to Ian, even if he did break a little. He had let Ian care for him in a way he had never let anyone before and most importantly Ian wanted too. 

He stopped on the corner of his street and finished updating his progress. He put his phone away and started home again when he saw them. Ian and Mandy were hugging outside his house. He then saw his sister kiss Ian and he jogged of home he presumed. He knew there was nothing more than friendship between them but he still had the urge to strangle her right now.

He got to the door before she had a chance to close it and scared the shit out of her. 

“Fuck Mick, sneak up on me why don’t ya.” She glared at him like he hadn’t just seen her kissing Ian.

He really hated feeling jealous of his sister. He knew there was nothing going on but fuck he had no idea how to deal with his feelings and he knew she could see how he felt. He stormed over to the fridge and grabbed a beer trying to refocus himself.

This is worse than I thought, Mandy was thinking. They are either gonna out themselves with their obvious feelings for the other practically oozing out of them or by the look on her brothers face he may kill the next person he saw even talking to Ian. She had to say something to him just like she had to Ian.

She tried to lighten her voice so she didn’t spook him again, “Mick?” he didn’t reply so she just kept going. “You’re gonna have to do something soon, about Ian I mean.”

“What the fuck are you talking bout?” fucken jealousy giving him away. He couldn’t deal with this now. He had to be at his new shop soon and he was sure Ian would turn up too.

She had no choice if she wanted to protect her brother and best friend from themselves, even risk her brother’s wrath. “If you both keep going like this, if you both act the way you did last night in front of people someone is gonna fucken pick up on it. Every time you look at him you’re practically eye fucking him and he’s like a lost fucken puppy around you. I’m worried about you, both of you.”

Before he could respond his reminder tone sounded on his phone and he had to leave thank fuck. He forced himself yet again not to rip her fucken head off when he spoke. “Can we deal with shit later hmmm, I gotta go meet Iggy over at the new business.” He paused before speaking again, knowing what she needed to hear. “Look, I won’t let anything happen to him ok. I just need a little more time.” Hopefully that would shut her the fuck up for now, he really needed to leave.

******

Ian let himself in hoping to sneak past Fiona and have a quick nap before trying to keep his job and deal with her questions about last night. He was surprised to find the house quiet. He went up to his room, took his jacket and jeans off then got as comfortable as he could in a bed he’d long outgrown. 

He should have known better. His mind was never gonna let him rest after last night and what he’d have to deal with later today. What the fuck had he been thinking, he couldn’t help but berate himself. 

For the first time in his life he had actually fallen for someone and fallen fucken hard, it was so far out of his 5 year plan. His life was supposed to be school, ROTC and work then off to WestPoint. He couldn’t allow himself to get side tracked after he’d worked so hard and so long to reach his dream which was now only 12 months away. 

It was also unattainable, an unhealthy crush that he had to stop before he gave himself away and Fiona’s fears came true. Between Fiona’s worries and now what Mandy had said he would force himself to be careful whenever he couldn’t avoid being near Mickey. Beside Mickey killing him he also didn’t want to out himself. Not yet anyway when he was still stuck here for another year. After that he didn’t care who knew.

If only now he could forget last night. He didn’t regret helping and looking after Mickey when he got sick. He would do that for anyone he cared about, but he knew he had probably gone a bit overboard and should have let Iggy and Mandy lend a hand. Instead he had just taken over, virtually pushing them aside so he could look after Mickey on his own, like Mickey was his. He knew his feelings had clouded his judgement but fuck if he could think clearly when he was around him. 

And how the night had ended! He’d never felt more scared and turned on at the same time even if Mickey was unaware of what happened. He could still feel Mickeys hand touching him and the phantom weight of his leg on his holding him down, unable to move. Being put in that situation, unable to get away from someone was something new for him and part of him had really enjoyed it. The whole fucken thing was new to him and he needed to shut it down now. 

He sat up in bed grabbing his own hair in both hands pulling on it till it hurt, trying to block out his feelings and thoughts. As he felt his mind start to clear he suddenly remembered how he had fallen asleep. Did it really happen or was his mind now playing tricks on him? He vaguely recalled Mickey pulling him into his arms and cuddling? him. His face tucked into Mickeys neck, and them wrapping themselves together. 

Fuck me. This had to be a joke his mind was now playing on him. No fucken way could that have happened. That’s it, he thought as he jumped up to get dressed. He had to deal with more important things right now like helping to feed his family. 

NO MORE MICKEY FUCKEN MILKOVICH, he screamed through his own head as he made his way out the house and hopefully got to keep his job. 

******

Mickey felt like a caged animal. He paced up and down the aisles of his new business while Iggy calmly sat behind the counter smirking at him and smoking. The previous owners had left but not before the wife mentioned a reliable worker named Ian who worked every afternoon after school and asked him to give him a chance, he knew the business backwards and forwards and would be a valuable asset. 

What the fuck is taking Ian so long, he thought when he started his 100th lap of the shop. He’d seen him that morning. Had left him still sleeping in his bed, and fuck him he wanted to wake up to the sight of Ian Gallagher again and again and fucken again in his bed. 

He knew he was turning into a junkie, craving his next hit of Ian. Holding Ian in his arms while he slept wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. He wanted him in his arms while he was awake, looking up at him with those big green eyes. Touching him anywhere he desired and seeing that want reflected in Ian’s face. He needed to feel himself… fuck door. He’s here. 

This is it Ian thought as he entered the shop ready to sell himself, and hope to fuck that Linda had spoken to the new owner like she said. What the fuck!

Ian thought he was losing his mind. Was that Iggy sitting behind the counter and smirking at him. “Hey Ian, been expecting you.”

Ian felt confused. Not fully comprehending what was going on. “You have? Why?”

“Was told by your old boss you worked here. She mentioned how experienced and reliable you were so I figured you’d turn up if what she said was true.”

This was as far from anything Ian wanted right now. He wanted to distance himself from Mandy’s family, mainly Mickey and that wouldn’t happen if he now worked for them. 

What could he say, Iggy was looking at him waiting for a response. “Yeah ummm, I’m cool to find a new job. Don’t think you have to give me one cause of Mandy.” He hoped that sounded sincere and started to walk backwards towards the door and get out as fast as he could.

“Nah, you’re already hired man. This is all new to me so I’m gonna need you to teach me everything. Best we get started now cause you got school tomorrow.” Fuck. “Oh, and an added bonus I’ve decided to give you a pay rise cause I don’t know shit.”

Damnit, I can’t get out of this now. Fuck I need Mandy’s help.

“Ok cool. I just need about 10 minutes to check in with my sister and let her know I’ll be late.” He smiled as friendly as he could and when Iggy waved him off he headed out the back of the store to text Fiona and Mandy. 

He quickly sent Fiona a text letting her know he got called into work then sent one to Mandy.

Ian>>> Did u know ur bros bought the Kash & grab???

Mandy>>> wtf r u talking bout.

Ian>>> linda told me she sold and to come in 2day to see bout my job and Iggy is my new boss.

Mandy>>> fuck I had no idea. Is mickey there 2.

Ian>>> didn’t c him. This is bad. Wat do I do.

Mandy>>> can u get another job?

Ian>>> tried Iggy gave me no choice.

Ian>>> I’m gonna fuck up and give myself away. 

Mandy>>> don’t panic k. 

Ian>>> how tha fuck can u say that.

Mandy>>> look they ayent like dad. They wont care ur gay.

Ian>>> still don’t help wat u pointed out does it.

Mandy>>> sorry cant really do anything. Mickey runs all our shit and now him and Iggy r ur boss.

Mandy>>> look u prob only gotta deal with Iggy so just try and control ur dick if he shows up k.

Ian>>> fuck. Talk later.

Fuck what am I gonna do. I’m still gonna look for another job. Just go back in and help Iggy out and go home. I can do that. Fuck. He thought as he made his way back into the store.

“Hey.” He doesn’t look happy to see me he thought as he saw Ian’s head snap up from his phone.

Fuck my life. “Hey Mickey, how ya feeling.” 

“Am good. Yeah umm, thanks for last night.” Fuck he looks strange. Keep going fucken talk. “So we ready to get going. We got a lot to learn and not much time.”

Now no one was speaking. Ian had no way to respond. Mickey looked a bit lost and Iggy was pissing himself, inside of course.

“Right fuckers, let’s start. Ian, come over here and teach us how to work the register then you can teach us stock taking k.” Iggy took control before Mickey made a fool of himself. He knew he’d cop it later if he let his brother embarrass himself now.

The next few hours went by faster than Ian expected. Mickey and Iggy were both fast learners and Ian made sure to direct most of his conversation towards Iggy. He had told him he was his boss so he presumed most of the instructions should be directed to him. He was so relieved when he could finally go home, but before he made it out the door Iggy told him in no uncertain terms he expected him after school and to free up his next few weekends for more training. 

Walking home he felt so overwhelmed. He was now sure it was more than a crush but he had to kill it and kill it now. He would stay the next few weeks and help Iggy out with training new staff but after that he was gone. No more Mandy’s house, then no more work. He was sure he would find something now summer was starting. Only 2 more weeks of school then he could increase his training, always a great distraction and bust his ass till he found a new job. He could even take the bar tending job he’d been offered a few weeks ago at the White Swallow. Free drinks and he could fuck Mickey out of his system. He’d drop in and see the manager one night this week he decided. 

******

As soon as Ian left Mickey got straight up in Iggy’s face. “What the fuck was that hmmm. You forget I was here aye?” he spat in his face not able to hold himself back.

“Hey, hey. He kept talking to me. I wasn’t trying to do nothing.” Iggy held his hands up not quite understanding what he did wrong.

Mickey new he was being unreasonable but he couldn’t stop himself. How could Ian treat him like that after last night. The only thing he could think of was Ian must have known what happened last night and now he didn’t want anything to do with him. Fuck. He knew he’d fuck this up somehow. Knew he’d read Ian wrong and he wasn’t interested in him. 

“You say something.” He thought he heard Iggy speak.

“I said maybe he kept telling me all about this shit cause I’m his boss or atleast that’s what you said I would be. Hmmm?” fuck he was probably right but he needed to speak to Mandy. She knew Ian better than anyone. 

“Fuck you’re probably right. Let’s lock up but grab us a few beers for the walk home would ya.” 

They walked home in silence. It was a nice night now it was getting warmer. He then remembered he forgot to ask Ian about his sister. He decided he would get Iggy to go over to their place tomorrow and offer her the job directly. Iggy was right, he was the boss so it was better coming from him anyway. He’d get him to offer her a good wage which he knew she needed and maybe back off a bit. 

They lights were on when they got home but the house was quiet. He peaked into Mandy’s room and saw she’d already gone to sleep. Fuck. He’d now have to get up early or wait for her to get home from school.

******

It was nearly 7am by the time Mandy dragged her ass out of bed and Mickey was getting pissed yet again. He’d been sitting here for nearly an hour as he couldn’t remember what time she got up and didn’t want to miss her. 

Mandy was surprised to see him awake at this time. He’d either been up all night or he was gonna give her shit. Fuck. She couldn’t think of anything she’d done lately that would annoy him. Fuck please don’t let it be about Ian. Great, now he was playing with his bottom lip. Definitely Ian. Fuck I wish I’d never found out his was gay or better yet had never brought Ian over.

“I need to talk to you.” Mickey told her feeling slightly embarrassed. 

“This about Ian?” good thing about her brother falling for Ian was he was too distracted to stick his nose in her business. 

“Yes it’s about fucken Ian and don’t be smart.” Fuck this girly fucken shit.

“Fuck. Look, I think I may have scared him or something. I don’t fucken know but today at the shop he could hardly speak or look at me. He say anything to you.” Now he was definitely a fucken girl.

What the fuck was she supposed to do. She really didn’t want to be in the middle of this, but he was staring at her and she knew she had to give him something before she copped it. 

She walked into the kitchen to get a coffee and took a big sip before forcing herself to speak. “I think you may be confusing him.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” he bit back.

“He likes you alright. Fuck. Your sending out signals of interest and he has no idea you’re even fucken gay. I can’t say shit cause you’re my brother and all he knows is the family reputation that dear old dad made.” She couldn’t help raising her voice. 

He just sat there looking at her like she grew another head. “Fuck Mick think.” She paused and started to giggle. “Did ya hear what I just said.” Ooh fuck now he’s gonna kill me.

He gritted his teeth before he spoke again. “Get to the fucken point Mandy!”

“I think he’s scared. You do know your reputation don’t you? And he has no idea that you feel the same. All he knows is what he’s heard about our family. He’s also not the only one who has never had a boyfriend and now he’s confused as fuck so I’m pretty sure he’s gonna avoid you as much as he can.” She so did not want to have this conversation but she had to tell him something. She felt bad for both the idiots she loved the most.

“I didn’t think of that. You think maybe I should stay away from the shop for a while?” he should have held back more, now he’d scared him, fuck.

“Oh, you mean the shop you bought where Ian works and never thought to mention it to me hmmm.” Now she let her smirk show.

He’d had enough and started heading to his room when he heard her call out. 

“Mick, you don’t tell him soon you’re gonna be too late. Don’t think you’re the only guy who wants him. I’m serious yeah.”

******

Mandy had tried all day to get Ian to talk to her but with no luck. They were now on the way home from school and she was ready to tear her hair out. Instead she stood in front of him and held his arms and wouldn’t let him go.

“You’re not gonna give up are you?” she continued to glare at him. “Fucken fine. I’m going back to the White Swallow Friday night and I’m gonna take the bar job for the summer. I’ll give Iggy 2 weeks to train some new people but then I’m gone. I’m also not coming over to yours anymore Mands, I’m sorry but I need the distance. I need to get over this shit now before it comes back to bite me.” She pulled him into her arms and held him. Why did this have to be so fucked up.

When he pulled out of her arms the look on his face made her heart squeeze. “I gotta go, Iggy’s waiting for me.” 

She made her way home hoping Mickey was there and not at the shop. She needed to talk to him before he lost any chance he had with Ian for good. She knew Ian and once he made up his mind he could be stubborn as fuck.

******

Now he’d made his final decision Ian felt relieved. He had to get over this before it started to interfere with his life completely. He couldn’t let his unhealthy crush ruin any chance he had to get out of here. He was gonna concentrate on his future and make sure he stayed as far away from Mickey Milkovich as he could. He just hoped he didn’t lose his best friend in the process.

He pushed all thoughts of Mickey to the back of his head as he got to work. He wouldn’t leave Iggy in the lurch. He’d show him everything he knew and help him with the new people he hired then he was gone he thought as he entered the shop.

“Hey sweetface. Have a good day at school.” His sister greeted him from behind the counter. 

NO FUCKEN WAY.

******

Mandy barged into the house praying Mickey was home and not at the shop. She found him sitting on the lounge looking as miserable as Ian. 

“Listen to me and listen fucken good. You tell Ian I told you this and it’s the last time I fucken tell you anything got me.” 

“Well, I’m fucken waiting.”

“He’s quitting the shop and not coming over anymore so he doesn’t have to see you. He’s going to the White Swallow on Friday night and getting a job as a bar tender for the summer. If you don’t do anything before then you can kiss any chance you had with him goodbye. He really does like you Mick so make a decision and make it fucken now or else.” 

She left him sitting there with his mouth open hoping she got through to him. She couldn’t take much more of this and she didn’t want to lose Ian in the process.

******

He wasn’t ready. Fuck he wasn’t ready. He needed more time before he told Ian. He had no fucken idea what to do but he knew Mandy was right. If he left it any longer… no fucken way. Ian was his and he wasn’t gonna lose him. He also wasn’t gonna let him get that job either. No more playing it nice.

He picked up his phone and dialed. 

“I have a job for you and I need it done tomorrow. Meet me in an hour at the Alibi and arrange some back up for tomorrow.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian looks for a new job. Mickey's plan is revealed. Mandy's had enough. Mickey makes a decision.

Fiona rushed around the counter to check on her brother who was just standing there staring at her like he’d seen a ghost.

“Ian. Ian. Fuck, look at me, you ok.” She asked as she put her hands on his face and shook him a bit. 

Ian looked down at her while his brain tried to catch up to what he saw. “Why you here?” He asked her in a confused voice.

“Mandy’s brother Iggy came over this morning and offered me a full time job here. Forget about that for now, are you ok. You feeling sick?” 

What was he supposed to say? I’m trying to do like you said and stay away from anything Mickey? She looked so worried he knew he had to give her something.

“Yeah, I’m just having an off day, I’ll be fine.” He tried to reassure her with a comforting smile.

“So, you work here now?” He fucken hoped he heard wrong.

“Yeah, Iggy came over and offered me the job. It’s permanent job during the day and a good wage. Better than anything I’ve ever had. I couldn’t turn it down.” 

She looked so fucken happy. He knew this was a godsend for her, for them. A reliable job was something she’d never been able to find. There was no way he could ask her not to take it. 

“Iggy asked me to stay back with you this week so you could teach me how to do the ordering and anything else you think I need to learn. V said she’d look after look after Liam so I’m good to go if you’re feeling up to it.” 

Maybe this could work out for me. Fiona was always a fast learner at any of her other jobs and she’d worked in a supermarket before. I only needed to get through this week, till Friday to see if I could still get that bar tending job. 

“Just got a lot on my mind. Let’s get to it yeah.” he spoke firmly, but friendly as he put his bag behind the counter and started to teach her about stock taking and reordering.

****** 

Ian’s week seemed to go by faster than he expected. Mandy stopped questioning him about Mickey, school was easy, but a little bit boring now they were in their second last week before summer break and he didn’t go over to her house once. Even work was Mickey free which he was grateful for but at the same time part of him hoped he would turn up. Not being around him he was able to focus without distraction even if his attraction didn’t wane.

He made sure Fiona and Iggy knew how to run the store backwards and forwards and trained a few teens to assist them. By the time Friday came around he no longer felt so guilty about leaving his job. After his shift ended Friday night he went home to shower and change and headed over to boys town to see if he could still get the job, if not he’d try other clubs. 

He didn’t ask Mandy to go with him but he did text a few of their friends to meet up with him later in the night. As he made his way northside he felt his confidence coming back and any doubt in himself evaporating. He was able to push the emotional confusion of the last couple of weeks to the back of his mind and made himself think about what was attainable and not delude himself anymore. 

He knew most of the bouncers at a lot of the clubs by now. He’d been going to them for a year now since Monica had first taken him. He made his way to the White Swallow first. They had no line outside, it was still a bit too early for the night crowds and went straight in making his way to the main bar to ask for the manager. 

Before he even had a chance to ask 2 bouncers that he knew came over to him wanting to know why he was there. He was a bit taken aback by their attitude. He tried to explain why he was there but they only seemed interested in his age. He showed them his fake ID that Lip had gotten him but they wouldn’t accept it. They ushered him out instead telling him they were cracking down on anyone that looked under age and told him to come back in a few years. He tried to argue with them even pointing out that a lot of their dancers were the same age as him but he got nowhere.

He let it slide figuring they had probably had a few busts for letting in anyone underage and headed over to another club. He had at least a dozen clubs and bars he could try so it didn’t bother him.

He was starting to get pissed off after being denied entry to another few clubs, not even making it past the door. By the time he got to the Fairytail he’d tried 6 different clubs.

This time he made it all the way to the staff door at the back of the club but before he could even knock he was again being thrown out. By now he was furious. What the fuck was going on. He was starting to feel like there was a conspiracy against him. 

He pulled out his phone and sent a text to one of his friends he was meeting at Fantasia and asked him to meet him outside already guessing they wouldn’t let him in either and fuck was he right. He didn’t even try to argue anymore. He just stood outside and waited for Aiden to come out to meet him.

He saw Aiden come out the club and head over to him. He was the same age as Ian but northside. They’d been meeting up at clubs together for about 6 months now. Even though he knew Aiden would have liked for there to be than friendship between them he was not Ian’s type. He was nice to look at but he really wasn’t into blonde blue eyed preppy types. He did have something that Ian definitely wanted though. Aiden’s uncle owned Fantasia. 

Ian told him what had been happening to him all night trying not to take his anger out on him. Aiden left him there and went back in to talk to his uncle and see if he could find out what the fuck was going on.

He only had to wait about 10 minutes before Aiden was back with a few other guys he hung out with. He motioned Ian to come with them as they made their way down the road away from the club.

After Aiden made him give his word he wouldn’t say anything he told him what his uncle had said. 

Apparently, earlier in the week some men had come and seen his uncle and he presumed the other club owners or managers as well and discretely threatened them not to let Ian in. They even had pictures of him which they left with his uncle ordering him to show all his bouncers so they knew exactly who they were looking for. These men were known not to be messed with so his uncle was taking no chances. 

Ian was fuming. Who would want to fuck him over like this? The only ‘person’ he could think of was the mystery Alek. He couldn’t think of anyone else he may have pissed off and Alek had sent him that expensive watch. 

When he told Aiden and their other friends about the gift they all thought Ian may have a stalker. Someone with money who obviously didn’t want Ian getting into any clubs as Ian was known to get around. 

Ian really wanted to get trashed now and try to forget his fucked up night, so for the first time he let them drag him off to one of their friends parties that he and Mandy always politely declined.

He didn’t give a shit that he had to be at work early the next morning with Fiona, he was determined to still enjoy himself and fuck whoever was messing with him. First thing Monday he was sending that gift straight back to the shop it came from and warn Fi that someone may be fucking with him. He really hoped it wasn’t a stalker. His life didn’t need any more complications right now. 

Whoever it was could get fucked. He was still gonna go out and party even if he now had to get more personal with his northside club friends.

******

Ian was just over an hour late for work by the time they got to the southside. Aiden was driving him to work in his Dad’s new Mercedes S Class, fuck it was a beautiful car. He hadn’t regretted going to the party now and wondered why the fuck him and Mandy hadn’t gone sooner. 

These rich boys really knew how to party. There was bowls of coke for anyone to indulge in and the place stunk of weed. He usually didn’t do anything harder than weed but he really wanted to forget his night. 

He didn’t remember the whole party he’d snorted so much coke, even had a few lines for the road to keep him going after being awake all night. He had a few joints in his pocket to help bring him down when he got home after his shift. He also vaguely remembered getting 2 blow jobs but not the guys he’d gotten them from. He hoped to fuck it hadn’t been Aiden or possibly his would be stalker.

When they pulled up Iggy was out the front of the shop smoking and drinking what looked like a beer. He didn’t look happy to see him as Ian jumped out the car and Ian hoped he would fire him even if he didn’t have another job lined up just yet. 

As he waved Aiden off he heard Iggy greet him. 

“Nice of you to turn up. Didn’t know you hung out with rich northside boys.” He sounded pissed as fuck as he stood there glaring at him and smoking. 

“Fuck man, I’m really sorry. Didn’t realize how late it was.” Even if he wanted to lose his job he didn’t want Iggy upset with him. He tried to sound as sincere as he could.

“Your sister’s in there worried out of her fucken mind.” It really didn’t look like Iggy have moved when he spoke. Was like he was glued to the wall. 

As Ian walked into the shop, Iggy following, he didn’t see Mickey watching him from across the street looking like he wanted to kill. 

This is beginning to get repetitive Ian thought as Fiona flew around the counter again, but this time not so concerned. 

“Where the fuck have you been? Why didn’t you come home last night and are you fucken high?” She yelled at him as she followed him over to the fridge so he could get a gatorade. 

He downed the whole bottle then grabbed another and walked back over to the counter pulling out money to pay for them. 

“You gonna fucken answer me or what Ian?” Fuck she was loud.

He put a hand on her shoulder to try and placate her. “Sorry Fi, time got away from me. Was at a party with some friends.” She still looked pissed. He knew he had his big ass ‘I’m wasted’ smile on his face which probably didn’t help. 

“I’m really sorry man,” he said turning to Iggy. “I’ll stay longer to make up for it.” or you can just fire me please, he said to himself. 

Just then the shop door flew open and Mickey stormed in not looking happy and stormed straight over to Ian and Fiona.

“What the fuck’s going on here, hmmm!?” He could barely control himself as he spat out the words.

Fuck me dead Ian thought. “Am sorry, was just apologizing.”

“You rock into work over an hour late, obviously high and you think you can just say sorry? Were the fuck you been? Out partying and cheating on my sister cause I know she wasn’t with you!” He was seething now. Eyes boring into Ian’s trying to work out what and where the fuck he’d been cause he knew he couldn’t get into any clubs. 

Ian felt insulted now and it showed as he answered him back. “I would never cheat on Mandy with another woman. I love her too much to do that to her!” Right now he didn’t care if he pissed him off more. 

No, but you would with another man, kept running through his head and he had to bite his tongue not to spit that back at him. “S’why you out partying without her and being dropped off late to work in some fancy ass car aye?” He breathed in deeply. “Thought you were responsible, reliable your old boss said.”

Fiona interrupted then, feeling the need to defend her brother and try to diffuse the situation. “Ian’s never done anything like this before, that’s why I was so worried.” 

Must have been the coke running through him as he forgot who he was talking to and pulled himself up taller not caring. He couldn’t help the sarcastic tone in his voice. “Look, you don’t want me here, fine I’ll go, but I don’t owe you anything.”

Iggy interrupted them now not wanting Mickey to do something he’d regret later. “Hey, hey, can we all calm the fuck down. Ian’s apologized. I’m sure he won’t do it again and if he does then I’ll fire his ass.” He said as he put his arm around his brother pulling him towards the back of the shop and outside.

Ian felt Fiona smack him over the back of the head and turned back to her. “You fucken crazy?” she whisper shouted at him. “You forget who your talking to you so fucken high?”

Before he could respond Iggy called out to him, “Ian, get stocking the shelves, be back in a few hours.” 

When he saw Iggy and Mickey disappear around the corner he stormed over to the stock room ignoring his sister and started picking up boxes to restock the shelves. 

******

Mickey didn’t want to leave. He wanted to know where the fuck Ian had been and who he’d been with. He was furious. When they got back onto the street he tried to turn back to the shop but felt Iggy pull him the other way. He was so close to wrapping his hands around Ian’s neck for the way he spoke to him and so turned on at the same time. 

He was lighting up his fourth smoke in a row by the time they got home. He went straight for the fridge and grabbed a beer then sat at the dining table glaring at the bottle. He barely noticed when Iggy placed an ashtray in front of him with 2 joints in it. He was gonna check in with Mark as soon as he cooled down a bit. He was too angry to speak right now. 

Mandy came stumbling, still half asleep from her room heading straight to the kitchen desperate for her late morning coffee. She was gonna say something until she caught Iggy’s eyes on her and he shook his head gently, then she saw Mickey sitting at the table and knew something was up by the dirty look on his face. Ian, she was guessing. Fuck, what now.

She was getting real sick of this game Mickey was playing and yes it was a fucken game. He wouldn’t just tell Ian he was into him, although she did understand why he was worried, but Ian was gay too and not out in their neighbourhood. She’d made it clear to Mickey that Ian liked him back and even if nothing happened Ian would never tell anyone. The signals he was sending were really fucking Ian over and she made sure he knew that too. He was playing with Ian, leaving him confused as fuck and she was over it. Didn’t want any more to do with it. He had to either tell Ian or leave him the fuck alone and she would tell him next time he asked her advice.

As she poured her coffee her phone chimed a text coming through. She knew it would be Ian even before she looked at it. She took her coffee and headed into the lounge room and sat down lighting up a smoke before she opened it. 

Ian>>> Don’t think I’ll have a job much longer.

Mandy>>> WTF happened. No one is talking here?

Ian>>> Got to work late. Went to party with Aiden and the boys.

Mandy>>> Why?

Ian>>> Someone went around to all the clubs threatening them not to let me in. Even had my pic, so no way can I get that job now or even fucken pick up.

Mandy>>> You fucken serious?

Ian>>> Why the fuck would I lie?

Mandy>>> Fuck I’m sorry.

Ian>>> Not like it’s your fault.

Mandy>>> Was the party good at least?

Ian>>> Never done so much coke in my life. Still buzzing. 

Ian>>> Gotta get back to work before Fi starts on me again ;)

Fuck but Ian was wrong, this was all her fault. She could see Mickey’s hand all over this shit. He couldn’t just tell Ian how he felt, but still had to be in control and not let Ian go. Mr fucken do it my way or not at all. Was bad enough she always had to think twice before doing anything in case Mickey didn’t approve. 

Fuck this she thought as she coldly asked him across the room, “Why Mick?”

He kept staring at his bottle while smoking a joint and ignoring her.

“How could you do that to him Mick, fucken answer me!” She knew she was pushing him now but she was beyond caring. She could feel Iggy staring at her but pointedly ignored him.

She could see him starting to go red in the face while he held his bottle tightly. He answered her this time through clenched teeth. “Don’t know what you’re talking bout.”

She watched him start flicking his thumb over his bottom lip, one of his tells that he was unsure or nervous. She wasn’t backing down this time. 

“Yeah, I think ya fucken do. I think you went or better yet, you sent people to all the fucken clubs in boys town and threatened them not to let Ian in hmmm. Nice touch giving them all pictures too.” 

She jumped when she heard his fist come down heavy on the table. He pushed his seat back so abruptly that it crashed to the floor as he turned to her.

“NOT YOUR FUCKEN BUSINESS WHAT I FUCKEN DO!” He now screamed at her.

She decided to go all the way for once and stood up matching him. “IT IS WHEN I TELL YOU SOMETHING IN CONFIDENCE AND YOU USE IT AGAINST IAN.” 

As Mickey started to approach her Iggy jumped up and got in between them putting out his hands to keep them separated. “Mandy, back the fuck off now and go to your room.” Iggy didn’t like to pick sides, he knew Mickey would never hit Mandy or anything but he had to end this now before it really got out of hand. 

Iggy always chose Mickey’s side she thought as she stormed into her room slamming the door closed. As she threw herself onto her bed she heard Mickey’s door slam too.

******

Mickey slammed his door closed angrier than he had been in a long time. He started pacing his room trying to work out what went wrong. How the fuck did Ian find out? Mark had warned him it would probably get out. Ian knew a lot of people in the club scene but he didn’t think he would find out so fast. 

Fuck. He didn’t know who to be angrier with the most. Himself, Mark, Mandy or fucken Ian. He really didn’t like Mandy knowing his fucken business and now she knew too many secrets and they all centered around Ian. He hadn’t realized just how close they really were. Mandy had chosen Ian’s side over his, even argued and yelled at him. She better not fucken tell him.

With that thought he punched a hole in his wall. Fucken great. Now he had to get that fixed and fuck that hurt. He shook his hand trying to take away some pain, then threw himself backwards onto his bed. He needed to think. It was all getting away from him again. 

Why the fuck did he go into the shop today. He only wanted to see Ian, maybe even have a few words with him. He’d been good all week giving Ian some space. He fucken missed him but then Ian didn’t turn up to work. Iggy knew he was across the street and let him know Fiona was worried. Ian never stayed out all night without letting her know, so he hung around getting concerned and what does he fucken see. Ian getting out of a fucken S Class driven by a good looking young guy and the look on the guys face when he drove off, he obviously had feelings for Ian too. 

He really was having trouble working out how he’d fucked up yet again, but this time he’d lost it in front of Ian. Lucky, he hadn’t given himself away, but fuck if Ian hadn’t given it back to him. That just made him crave him more. He had no interest in being with some little pussy who had no backbone. 

I’ll talk to Iggy, force myself cause no way in fuck am I going back to Mandy. Maybe getting advice from another male would be better. 

Fuck feelings, fuck this emotional crap and fuck love, he said out loud to himself. Then he realized exactly what the fuck he’d said. 

******

Ian worked his ass off for the rest of the day thanking the coke that kept him awake. Fiona didn’t confront him again but he still caught the occasional dirty looks from her and he knew this wasn’t the end of it. Iggy came back an hour before closing time and he apologized again, emphasizing the fact that he would never cheat on Mandy with another woman. At least he wasn’t lying about that. Iggy just brushed it off then told them both he was closing the shop tomorrow and he’d see them both Monday.

When they got home he expected Fiona to go off at him immediately but she simply told him to go have a shower and then go to bed. He gave her a joint as a peace offering and dragged himself upstairs and did exactly what she’d told him and passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was woken up to the sound of Fiona yelling at Debbie and Carl about some letter. He felt like he’d only slept a few hours but when he checked his phone he saw it was lunch time the next day. Fuck, he must have really needed it.

When he got downstairs he went straight for the coffee needing it to wake himself up more. After he poured his cup he went out the front door still wearing his boxers and a t-shirt ignoring everyone and sat down on the stairs and lit up a smoke. 

About 5 minutes had passed when he heard the door open behind him and he knew it was Fiona. He prepared himself for a lecture but was shocked when he got an apology.

“Ian, while I was tidying up I found a certified letter addressed to you. I’m so fucken sorry, I should have checked if anything had come but I’ve been so fucken busy I forgot you were expecting it. Debbie and Carl said they forgot to give it to you.

I took the letter off her and opened it. That sure as fuck woke me up. “Fi, I got it. My grant and shit I’m leaving tomorrow. 6 weeks of basic. Woohoo. Yes. Oh fuck no.” 

“What’s wrong? This is good news Ian.” She was beaming at him so proudly.

“Work. I told Iggy I wouldn’t fuck up again and not come in and now I’m gonna be gone for 6 weeks. Shit.” Could this weekend get any worse.

“This is important for your report for WestPoint Ian. Even if your already in it will look better when you get there. I’ll take the letter in with me to work and show Iggy and explain the situation and let your school know. Don’t worry and before you say anything your fucken going.” She pulled his head towards her giving him a big kiss on the cheek.

“Right, now tell me what the fuck happened Saturday night cause I know that’s not you.” She was back in mother mode.

He told her everything. About the clubs, someone threatening the owners to keep him out and how he suspected he now had a possible stalker. The expensive watch first from this mysterious Alek and now this. Then he told her about his night leaving out the blow jobs but admitting to the coke. 

She let his night out pass for now but was as concerned as he was now about a stalker. She told him with luck whoever it was would lose interest while he was gone for 6 weeks and not to let it bother him. She agreed it was a good idea to send the watch back and she would do it sometime during the week. He had packing to do and she pushed him back into the house as she ran next door to ask Kev to drive Ian to the recruitment office early the next morning.

By the time Ian finished packing Fiona was calling everyone for dinner. He was lucky he had everything on the list that was attached to his acceptance letter. After a usual noisy Gallagher dinner both Debbie and Carl apologizing still in between bites of food and Ian making them do dishes as punishment, he sent Mandy a text telling her it was urgent she be at his place by 7:30am tomorrow and not to bother asking why. She replied quickly letting him know she’d be there and calling him an asshole.

******

Mickey spent most of Sunday hiding out in his room watching random shit he wasn’t paying attention to just so he could avoid Mandy and her all knowing mouth. He’d spoken to Iggy earlier who was nearly as confused as him. Iggy’s longest girlfriend had lasted a whole 2 weeks so he was no good. He knew he’d eventually have to speak to Mandy again. He’d come to a decision about Ian that would make her happy, but at the same time terrified him.

Later that night when he knew it was nearly time that Mandy went to sleep he forced himself to leave his room to speak to her. 

She was playing the Xbox with Iggy when he approached her and asked her to finish her game. He made himself sit patiently until they were done, then she turned to him expectantly.

Fuck. “Alright I’ve made a decision about Ian. I’m… fuck, I’m gonna speak to him tomorrow after work and tell him.” He barely got the last word out when she came flying at him and hugged him.

“I knew you could do it asshole.” She leaned back and punched him in the arm. “Just remember he likes you too and he’s not out either so please don’t fuck it up. Tell him that your gay first or he might panic.” She paused. “Ooh I know, ask him for a pack of magnums and a bottle of lube to break the ice aye.”

He stood up fast knocking her onto the floor. “Night skank. Night Ig.” And walked back to his room feeling like a huge weight had been lifted. 

Before going to sleep he tidied up a bit picking up clothes he’d been too lazy to put in the hamper, checked to see if he had clean sheets to put on the bed tomorrow, then looked in his bed side draw to make sure he had plenty of condoms and lube.

No fucken way was he letting Ian get away from him now. He was finally going to be his and he had every intention of locking Ian in his room and fucking him senseless for the next a few days. 

******

Ian was so excited he was dressed and ready to leave by 7am. The house was buzzing with activity as everyone fought for food including Kev, V and the twins who’d come over early to join them. He was only waiting on Mandy to arrive before him and Kev left.

He’d purposely asked her to be there at the same time he had to leave knowing she would get upset and not wanting to drag out his goodbye too long knowing he would miss her too. 

Mandy arrived with 10 minutes to spare and walked into what felt like a tornado. Fiona, V and Debbie were crying but had smiles on their faces. Ian was holding Liam upside down while Carl was bouncing around him trying to get his attention and Kev was holding a twin in each arm. 

“What’s happened?” Mandy asked to anyone in the room.

Fiona was on her first hugging her. “Ian got his grant. Those two,” she said pointing to Debbie and Carl, “forgot to give us the letter and I only found it yesterday. He’s leaving us in 5 minutes and not coming back for 6 weeks.”

Mandy felt the room start to spin and had to hold onto the back of the lounge. She felt Ian wrap his arms around her to steady her and felt him kiss her head. Fuck, why now, ran through her head as Ian held her.

She looked up at him and whispered “Don’t.”

Mandy knew he wanted to go for months now so why was she saying this to him now. “Don’t what.” He quietly asked her back.

She couldn’t get any more words out and she couldn’t tell him the guy he liked so much wanted him too, so she just held him tighter and cried in his arms. 

“Ian it’s time to go, everyone outside to say goodbye.” Fiona called out breaking Mandy from her semi trance.

As they walked out to the car, Ian still had one arm around Mandy when he suddenly spoke. “Fi, don’t forget to send that watch back to the shop. I left it on your dresser k.”

Mandy snapped her head up to him. “Why you returning the watch, I thought you loved it.” NO NO NO.

“Fi and I think I might have a stalker after what happened at the clubs and getting such an expensive gift from a stranger so we’re sending it back.” He smiled down at her, love shining in his eyes as he tried to soothe her. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back before you have time to miss me.”

After he hugged and kissed her again she watched him do the same with everyone else then just stared at the truck as it drove away taking Ian with it. 

“Hey, you ok Mands?” Fiona asked her worry in her voice.

“No, not really. You going to work now?” Fiona nodded to her. “Think I’ll come with you and get Iggy to take me home.” She couldn’t tell Mickey alone.

When they got to the shop it was already open and Iggy was behind the counter flicking through a magazine. Before he could say anything, Fiona was showing him the letter and explaining how it got lost and she only found it yesterday and that Ian couldn’t miss this opportunity. 

Fiona didn’t notice but she did. Iggy had a slight look of fear on his face and had paled a little as well. He managed to ask Fiona if he could take the letter home and make a copy for his files and not to worry, he understood.

As soon as he finished speaking Mandy asked him to take her home. They said their goodbyes and Iggy gave her a set of keys in case he didn’t come back.

When they got home they both sat on the front stairs chain smoking, both consumed with dread at the thought of telling Mickey.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to cover the whole 6 weeks of Ian's absence as I know nothing about training camps.

3 weeks had passed since Ian had been gone. Mandy missed him so much she asked Iggy for a job to keep her mind busy and to feel closer to him. She couldn’t talk to Ian, they weren’t allowed cell phones so they could get used to being without of contact with family Fiona had told her, so they had been sending emails to each other. Today was one of the days Ian was allowed computer access so she was waiting on her bed with her laptop opened waiting for his email to arrive. 

While she waited, she thought about the last 3 weeks and Mickey. They hadn’t seen a lot of him around the house even though he was home most of the time. He spent all his time in his room hardly speaking to anyone unless he needed something and only left the house when necessary for work. He ignored them when they tried to have a conversation with him or asked him to join them in a game. 

When they had worked up the nerve to go into the house and tell Mickey that Ian had left for 6 weeks they were terrified of what his reaction would be. Before they spoke to him Iggy gave him the letter that Fiona had brought into work hoping he would read it and see that Ian had a good reason for leaving.

They were more shocked by Mickey’s reaction. He normally yelled and threw things around when things didn’t go his way, sort of like a toddler throwing a tantrum but this was something new. He had looked so happy when he saw them but before he had finished the letter his face had gone from smiling to stone cold. He simply dropped the letter, just let it slide out of his hand and walked back into his room. 

When he wanted or needed anything he would send Iggy a text telling him and Iggy would just follow his orders without question or comment. He only engaged in conversation when he needed to speak directly to one of her brothers regarding a work issue and hadn’t spoken a word to her since the night before Ian left. 

She never mentioned Mickey to Ian in their emails and Ian never asked. She knew Ian felt strongly for her brother and she really hoped he still would when he got back. She didn’t want to think how Mickey might react towards Ian if he got over his crush and even if something did happen between them Ian was leaving next summer for 4 years. 

At least Mickey didn’t know about the watch. Fiona was always busy so she had offered to send it back to the shop for her. It was now hidden in one of her drawers for when Ian hopefully was ready to accept it back. She really hoped he would. 

 

******

 

Mickey looked at the date on his phone. He had made it to 3 weeks. The half way point till Ian came back. Up until he read the letter Iggy had given him he didn’t remember the last time he had been so happy, then it had all changed. 

The anger was different this time. It was like he’d been consumed by a cold fury that took over his whole body. He normally lashed out, not caring who got in his way but this was something new. Another new emotion to note down and add to the many he’d now experienced since he first met Ian.

He surprised himself when he didn’t immediately destroy the house or even punch another wall. He wanted to be alone, have no contact with anyone. He only spoke when necessary and sent texts to Iggy when he needed anything. He discussed business with his other brothers but refused to engage in anything outside of that. He didn’t even go out at night, preferring to just keep to his room. 

He didn’t think a lot about Ian. His mind sort of went blank. He watched a lot of TV, went through the whole series of Sons of Anarchy, but only recalled about a third. Ian started to seep back in around the middle of week 2. He fought himself to control any anger directed at Ian. He was thinking more logically now, more like himself and he knew non of this was Ian’s fault. 

He’d waited too long. Instead of just talking to Ian when he knew Ian had feelings for him he’d gone into his possessive mode. Gone out of his way to stop Ian getting another job and fucking with his social life at the same time. He knew it was wrong, at least some part of him did but he still couldn’t stop himself.

Now at week 3 he thought about the letter Iggy had shown him and put under his door yesterday when he’d asked him for it. He’d read it over and over and he knew Ian would have gone whether they had gotten together or not. 

He had totally forgotten till now that Ian was going to WestPoint next year and he could again feel his mind beginning to think irrationally. Thinking of how he could convince him not to leave. He’d gone online and found out Ian would be gone 4 years even before his service, but now he’d begun to worry.

Would Ian even still be interested when he got back in 3 weeks. The last time he saw him they’d had a confrontation in front of Ian’s sister. He’d wanted her to like him, like his family by giving her a good job and showing her they weren’t their reputation even if she was being paid a bonus to ignore the extra cash flow.

It was time to leave his room. He realized he’d brooded long enough and if he stayed here constantly thinking of Ian as he now was he would lose him for good. He needed to take back control of his life and the best way to do that was work. It was where he excelled the most and to also spend time at the new shop getting to know Fiona Gallagher like he’d originally planned.

 

******

 

The morning rush had finished and Fiona had a bit of time left before Mickey or Iggy arrived to start planning for Ian’s welcome home party. 2 days until Ian came home was on repeat in Fiona’s head. She was trying to write out a list of food and drinks she needed for the party she had planned for Friday night. It wasn’t easy to concentrate when she thought of all that had happened in the last 2 weeks. 

Her mind wasn’t occupied with home, in fact home was great. All their bills we’re up to date. She was able to open a bank account and had a small amount already saved for the winter months that were long and cold. Frank had been missing since before Ian left, Lip had a summer internship in Miami with his current girlfriend’s father and Debbie was still running her summer day care. She tried not to think too hard about what Carl was up to but he gave her a small amount of money every week and hadn’t been arrested so that was always a good thing. 

No, her mind was occupied by the unexpected friendship she had made with Mickey Milkovich. At first, she thought he was coming onto her but he must have sensed that cause he made it clear to her he had no interest in her that way. After that they just seemed to hit it off. She was only 2 years older than him and even though their lives were so different, they were also very similar. They both had the responsibility of looking after their family’s and worked to make their lives better for them. 

Mickey wasn’t a big talker but he was opinionated. It was his idea she open a bank account, he even taught her how to budget her wages to be able to save and pay their bills on time. He paid her a good wage for her position and her bonus every week he paid her in food. 

She told him about their lives with Frank and Monica. An alcoholic and drug addicted father who neglected his children and stole their money and a mentally ill drug addicted mother who dropped in every couple of years to leave behind another child. When they were together they were even worse. Both abused them mentally and would spend any money they had on drugs before feeding their children. It was a lot worse than she told him but he didn’t push her for more, it was already common knowledge around the neighbourhood. 

She knew from rumors what Terry Milkovich was like and accepted what Mickey chose to tell her too. He also had a drug addict for a mom who he remembered his father abused before she overdosed. His father, like Frank chose drugs and alcohol above his children but he abused his kids both mentally and physically, especially his older brothers. He mentioned being his father’s favorite which made it easier for him to push him aside. He also made a point to tell her that even if his father was in the Aryan brotherhood his brothers and himself had nothing against other races or homosexuals. They weren’t their father which secretly pleased her when she thought of her brothers Ian and Liam.

For the last 2 weeks Mickey came into the store for a couple of hours every day and helped her out like Iggy did. He would also spend time in the apartment upstairs doing what, she had no idea and didn’t ask. She knew enough to know the cash register always had more in it than she took in but she never questioned that either. 

She honestly enjoyed her new friendship, even if she did most of the talking he always seemed interested. She still felt a little uncomfortable about the altercation between Mickey and Ian before he left but when she brought it up he waved her off saying he may have overreacted being a protective brother and all, so she just let it go. 

It was only in the last few days she found herself questioning in her mind, definitely not out loud her growing suspicions. She’d asked him about girlfriends while sharing her own history of deadbeat boyfriends and was surprised to find he’d never had any. She only managed to get out of him he was too busy and he only did one night stands and the occasional fuck buddy which he never let last more than a few weeks so they didn’t get attached. He did however ask more questions about Ian than any of her other siblings.

First thing she thought was he was being an overprotective brother again after what happened before, but then she realized his questions seemed more personal and hardly ever did he mention Mandy when asking about Ian. He seemed to spread them out over the last week, just a few here and there so she only really put it all together a day or two ago.

He wanted to know if Ian had past serious girlfriends, the only question that really pertained to Mandy. Did Ian do well at school? What Ian did at ROTC and how into it he was? Was Ian serious about WestPoint? Did he ever get into trouble? Did Ian go out a lot at night? Was he into partying? Was it usual for Ian to take coke or other hard drugs? Did Ian spend a lot of time with his northside friends like the one that dropped him off at work? Had she met any of his other friends from the northside? Did Ian have other interest and what music was he into?

As she thought about his curiosity she also thought about any rumors she’d heard about Mickey. Most guys in their neighbourhood had reputations for fucking around, especially the good looking ones and Mickey was definitely attractive. She’d heard about his brothers sleeping around but nothing about Mickey. 

Then she thought about Ian. He was honest with her about his sex life. She knew he went to clubs under aged and had no problems picking up guys. The only thing she really made a point of was safe sex. Ian had also told her he never fucked the same guy twice or had any interest in dating anyone.

That made her think about Ian’s last few weeks at home and his obvious interest in Mickey. She’d picked up on that easily when she saw him talk to Mandy and Mickey was mentioned or when he spent time at their place. He came home somewhat different. Like he was into someone which was something new and the only conclusion she came up with was Mickey. When she’d brought it up with him she knew she’d guessed right and warned him to be careful but now she had a feeling his interest wasn’t one sided. 

She knew she couldn’t ask Mickey outright, although she was nearly positive she was right. She decided to invite Mickey and Iggy to Ian’s welcome home party Friday night and try to watch them, specifically watch Mickey. 

She was snapped out of her thoughts when the door opened and in walked Mickey. He nodded at her and headed upstairs. She would wait till he came back down to ask him, already sure what his answer would be.

Mickey was upstairs in his office above the supermarket. His nerves were starting to come back at the thought of Ian coming home in 2 days. He’d developed an understanding of the saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’, as his feelings for Ian had only become stronger. 

Even though he’d come to accept how he felt, he was now becoming consumed by a new fear. What if he really had waited too long and Ian no longer had feelings for him? What if Ian had met someone at his fucken training camp?

Regardless of how Ian felt now, he was determined to make a move. If Ian rejected him, he would do all he could to change his mind, he wasn’t gonna give up this time. If he was attracted to him once it shouldn’t be too hard to get his interest back and if he had competition locally he could fix that too. Him knowing Ian was gay he knew he didn’t have to worry about being outed when he made his move. 

Now he was starting to speak to his family again, last night he had asked Mandy to mention to Fiona the idea of inviting Iggy and himself to Ian’s party Friday night. He was determined not to wait and risk his chance again. He’d fucked up badly not thinking things through and just expecting Ian to do as he wanted like everyone else in his life did. 

He also thought briefly about the friendship he’d made with Fiona. He’d started speaking to her with only the intent to find out more about Ian, but found he actually enjoyed her fucken company. He never gave people outside his family the time of day so he was surprised to find himself opening up about his family after she did to him.

He made sure to ask about all the family, all her siblings but he thought he may have shown a bit too much interest in Ian. Hopefully she would just see him as an overly protective brother like he’d brushed off his argument with Ian. 

He spent about an hour working before he noticed the time. Mandy would be here soon and he wanted to be gone before she spoke to Fiona about the party. He packed up all his shit and headed down to the shop. 

He was relieved to see Mandy hadn’t turned up yet and went over to the register to speak to Fiona but before he got a chance, she spoke to him first.

“Hey Mickey, I know this is short notice so if you have plans already or you just don’t wannna come that’s fine. I umm, was just wondering if you and Iggy want to come over Friday night. Ian’s home and I making a welcome home party for him.”

Fuck yes, even better Mandy hadn’t even spoken to her yet. “Sure, why not. I’m in, just gotta check with Iggy but he didn’t mention any plans.” Idea! “Hey, why don’t you get what you need from the shop. Food, drinks, beer or whatever, I like whiskey so be sure to grab a few bottles. Just be sure to ring it all up and give us the receipt and don’t worry yourself about the cost.” She’d be sure to tell Ian, he thought as he looked at her smiling, not even having to force it.

“Oh, fuck Mickey, that’s too much, really.” Fuck, he forgot how proud she could be.

“I know you aren’t stupid Fiona. We both know it really won’t cost me fucken anything so just think of it like another bonus. Loyalty means a lot to me and you’ve done nothing but show me yours.” I know I can trust her and showing it wouldn’t hurt.

“Ok ok ok. Really, thank you so much.” He really loved that big ass Gallagher smile. She continued after a few seconds. “Just so you know it’s just family, Kev and V and I’m gonna make burgers as well so I hope you like em.”

“Sounds good. Gotta go now. Got some shit to do with my brothers today but Iggy will be in later. See ya.” He knew he had a big ass grin on his own face to match Fiona’s as he left. 

Fiona couldn’t help the smirk taking over her face when Mickey left. She was now 99% sure Mickey had feelings for Ian. If she’d thought this way before Ian went away she would have been worried but now that she’d gotten to know Mickey, she’d come to think of him as a friend and a good catch for her baby brother. She just hoped Ian was still interested too. 

 

******

 

As the bus approached Chicago Ian thought about his time away. It had been exhausting and exciting and he felt like he could sleep for a month. He’d met a few people from the Illinois area he’d be going to WestPoint with next year but he was the only southsider. 

At first only one had approached him to speak after they all said where they were from. When Simon told him he was from Lincoln Park, the first thing that popped into his head was ‘his whole house was probably worth one of the bathrooms in Simons house’. He was used to having wealthy friends he saw at the club but except for that one night before he left he’d never socialized with them. 

He thought Simon was above average looking, he was nearly as tall as him with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes that looked washed out. Definitely not his type but his gaydar was registering Simon’s interest. They had a lot in common except for their post code and Simon’s interest in more than friendship. 

The others seemed to follow Simon’s interest in getting to know him over the next few days which he was grateful for, especially as he didn’t want to spend too much time alone with Simon. He made sure to show them all the picture of his ‘girlfriend’ Mandy he’d brought with him. He noted Simon’s disappointment but he still regularly caught him watching him. 

He’d made friends and swapped phone numbers, even with people who weren’t from Chicago knowing that soon enough they would all be stuck with each other for the next 4 years. He even caved in to Simon’s repeated requests to meet up after they got home, but he made a point of only agreeing to catch up when Mandy was free. 

He’d briefly mentioned Simon in his last email to Mandy and asked her to come pick him up alone and to be very happy to see him. He could feel her smirking even without seeing her face and knew she’d put on a good show. 

As the bus pulled into the parking station back at the recruitment office where he’d left from he could already see Mandy jumping up and down waving her arms. Fuck he missed his best friend. He didn’t like to think about how hard it would be to leave her next year. 

He’d just gotten off the bus with Simon nearly on top of him when Mandy made her move. She called out his name as she ran to him jumping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck like a fucken koala. She tucked her head into his neck and whispered “you ready?”, then pulled her head back and kissed him in a way that left no doubt they were in love and together. 

He introduced Mandy to Simon while she was still attached to him. He noted the disappointment on his face and hoped he’d made his point. Mandy finished of her performance by sliding slowly down his body so he could grab his duffle. He waved everyone off and they made their way hand in hand to her car.

As Mandy drove him home he could tell she wanted to ask so he got in first. “No I did not fuck him, in fact I fucked no one so tomorrow night we’re going out so I can break my drought.” He smirked at her smugly them remembered, “as long as there’s a party somewhere now I can’t get into any fucken clubs.”

When they got to a red light she turned to him to see his reaction when she asked, “so, I heard you had a run in with Mickey before you left. He thought you were cheating on me Iggy said.” And there it was. The change in his face was so fast you had to know him to catch it. 6 weeks apart and nothing had changed.

He brushed it off like it was nothing and wanted to know what she’d been up to while he was gone so she just went along with it. She dropped him home promising to come back in a few hours so he could sleep and drove home.

When she got home she decided she would have a nap too so she was ready for tonight. The house was quiet so she presumed she was home alone and got changed and crawled into bed. 

As she was drifting off to sleep she heard her door fly open. She didn’t bother turning around knowing who it was. She simply said, “tonight is your last chance now fuck off and let me sleep.”

 

******

 

As Ian was waking up his head was once again filled with Mickey. Mickey Mickey and more fucken Mickey. Every fucken night and every fucken morning for the last 6 weeks he was the last thing he thought about and the first thing he thought about. He was sure he was turning into a teenage fucken girl. He’d really thought being away would put an end to his ridiculous crush but it only got worse. He was dreading going back to work, especially after the last time he saw him. 

He could hear people downstairs so he forced himself up and into the shower. He still felt tired even after sleeping the day away but he knew his family would be waiting for him and he really wanted a drink and a smoke after 6 weeks of nothing. 

He walked back into his room in only boxers and found his girlfriend sitting on his bed smoking a joint. He nearly dived on her to get it and inhaled as deeply as he could.

“Fuck I’ve missed this…mmm.” 

“More than me bitch?” Mandy asked him as she punched him hard on the arm and lit up another one.

 

He couldn’t help but laugh at her as he sat down. “Of course not babe. Who else would I have to bring me the best weed around.” This time he moved before she could hit him.

Mandy admired his physique, he’d gotten bigger but more defined. “Why you gotta be gay? Such a fucken waste.” She pouted as she rubbed his shoulder. 

She watched him jump up and pull on clean jeans but stopped him before he pulled his t-shirt on. “No, wait a minute. I wanna show off my boyfriend so no shirt till we get downstairs.” Fuck you Mickey, she laughed to herself while smirking at Ian.

“Show me off to my family, really Mandy? Can I put shoes on at least hmmm?” he asked as he moved over to his bag pulling out clean socks and shoes.

“Only if you piggy back me too. Gimme your shirt I’m waiting.” She took his shirt and got up on the bed then climbed onto his back and held on. He always did what she asked when they got wasted.

Mickey was getting impatient. Mandy had gone upstairs a good 20 minutes ago and still no sign of Ian. He distracted himself drinking and sort of chatting to Fiona, Iggy and Veronica when he heard his sister’s big mouth coming down the stairs.

All at the same time Fiona and Veronica started wolf whistling, he choked on a mouth full of whiskey, Iggy was trying and failing not to laugh, Mandy was holding onto Ian like she was attached to his fucken back and Ian was staring at him so intently he felt his stomach drop. 

Fuuuck. He looked even better than before he left and why the fuck is he only half dressed. He got his answer when he realized Mandy was standing next to him while Ian hugged all his family. “Fucken bitch.” He mumbled loud enough for only her to hear while she smiled innocently back. 

After Ian had been hugged by all his family he made his way over to him or Mandy or even fucken Iggy, he didn’t really care as long as he kept walking his way while putting his t-shirt on. He nodded to him not trusting himself to do much more just yet and poured himself another drink since he’d lost the last one. 

Not long after Ian’s big entrance Kev came in with the meat he’d cooked on the BBQ and Fiona herded everyone to the table. When Mickey sat down next to Iggy he saw his sister shove Ian down in the seat next to him and she sat on the other side with her fake innocent smile back on display.

When everyone was eating, Fiona started her surveillance. She noted the awkwardness between them, the attempts at conversation that seemed to leave them both tongue tied, and the glances when one thought the other wasn’t looking. She happened to look Mandy’s way and found her watching her with a knowing look and simply smiled back approvingly. 

After the food was all gone the party really started. A Gallagher party involved a lot of drinking, smoking, loud music and dancing. Everyone speaking over each other talking mostly shit and having a good time. 

The more Mickey drank the more he felt his confidence returning except when it still came to Ian. He felt Ian’s eyes on him all night but whenever he looked at him he quickly averted his gaze. He was sure the same was happening to Ian as he had a hard time looking elsewhere too. 

When Ian noticed Liam had fallen asleep on the lounge he picked him up telling Fi he’d be back shortly and headed up stairs. After putting him to bed he went to the bathroom needing to wet his face and try to cool down. He was really struggling not to look at Mickey and was not sure if it was the drink or weed or both but he was nearly sure there was something going on between them. 

When Mickey saw Ian take Liam upstairs he knew it was time. He glanced around the room, everyone in their own world and quietly slipped away and headed up. He caught Ian heading into the bathroom leaving the door open and followed him in closing it behind him.

Ian looked up from the sink and saw Mickey closing the door leaving them both in the room. He wasn’t scared but he did feel a rush of adrenaline coursing through him and a certainty that he hadn’t imagined any of Mickey’s glances towards him during the night. 

Mickey approached him slowly, not wanting to spook him but seeing the obvious hunger in Ian’s eyes which he knew was reflected in his own. Ian stepped towards him but he knew the first move was on him. 

Mickey lunged the short distance between them sliding his hand up Ian’s cheek and capturing his lips in a soft gentle kiss. When Ian felt him pull away he gently nipped Mickey’s bottom lip between his teeth not wanting it to end. He let go as he wrapped a hand around Mickeys waist and pulled him flush against himself. Mickey wrapped his other hand around Ian as he felt his hand run through the hair on the back of his head and pull him into another kiss. 

This kiss started like the last one, soft and gentle but slowly deepened into something more. Mickey slowly walked backwards pulling Ian with him and when he felt the door behind him he swung Ian around pinning him between the door and himself. 

Mickey pulled back slightly needing to look into Ian’s eyes and see his desire returned. He lent into Ian’s body feeling every part of them touching, caging Ian between himself and the door then dove back in to kiss him hungrily. 

Ian’s heart was thumping in his chest as Mickey deepened their kiss more, sliding his tongue into his mouth and running it along his own. His hand tightened in Mickey’s hair trying to pull him impossibly closer and moaning into his mouth. 

Mickey felt like Ian was now trying to devour him and felt himself start to rut against Ian’s obvious erection. He moaned back to Ian not able to get enough of him. Ian tasted like nothing he’d ever experienced, but he forced himself to slowly end it. 

He could now hear the noise from downstairs and knew if they didn’t stop now their first time would be right here and he didn’t want that. 

As he pulled away he heard Ian make a small whine and couldn’t help the grin that took over his face. He looked up into Ian’s green eyes and nearly went back in but he wanted more. He wanted their first time to be special so he stopped himself.

He caressed Ian’s face as he spoke to him softly. “I don’t want our first time to be in your bathroom. I’ll pick you up at 5pm tomorrow. Wear something nice and bring a change of clothes for the next day.” He then kissed him again, but gently like the first time.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey finally gets what he wants????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking longer between chapters than previously. To be honest with you I was terrified of writing our boys together sexually haha. I hope you all enjoy what I was able to write and I'm sorry but I had to split this chapter in half. It just kept getting longer but I'll try to get the next one up soon I hope.
> 
> Thank you all again and again for your kudos and SUPER SUPORTIVE comments.

 

 

 

 

Ian nearly cried when he was pulled from sleep by the loud noises coming from downstairs. He felt like a marching band was thumping its way through his head. He turned away from the doorway towards the wall and was hit in the face by sunlight blaring through the window. He rolled back over violently and just managed to grab ahold of the bed before he fell out of it. 

Now groaning out loud, at least loud to his own ears he pulled himself into a sitting position and tried to pry his eyes open. They felt crusty, and glued closed. He managed to open 1 eye halfway and the other barely enough to see. He reached out to his drawers and pulled himself upright as a wave of nausea hit him. 

After a minute, he was able to stumble slowly to the bathroom but needed to hold onto the wall behind the toilet while he was peeing. When he finished, he washed his hands and threw handfuls of water over his face and head then stumbled down the stairs in search of some Advil. 

When he sensed he was in the kitchen he felt a hand stop him and looked up at his beaming older sister. “How the fuck can you look so happy after last night?” He mumbled at her feeling his words echo through his head.

She laughed at him and handed him some Advil and a bottle of water. He swallowed them down quickly and finished off the water nearly as fast. He turned back and started to stagger back up the stairs when he heard her.

“Don’t be going back to sleep now Ian, I’ll make you some eggs and coffee, come on.” He could hear her already preparing.

“Fine, gimme a minute, teeth.” He continued back up knowing he had no choice.

By the time he got back and sat at the kitchen counter more water, coffee, eggs and toast were put before him. He hadn’t been hungry until it was placed under his nose and now he couldn’t slow down. His head was also clearing up and that’s when he wondered what the time was. He picked up his sister’s phone as he shoved the last piece of toast in his mouth and was shocked to see it was already 1:38pm. He lit up a smoke and decided it was time for bed, again.

6 weeks without alcohol and after one night he was fucked, he thought as he pushed his seat back and got up. “Thanks, Fi seeya tomorrow.” He made his way to the stairs again a lot more secure on his feet but was stopped yet again. Fuck.

“Your serious right now, hmmm?” He turned and she was glaring at him with her hands on her hips. 

He couldn’t help the whine that came out with his voice. “Come on Fi, I’m tired after 6 weeks without enough sleep and I’m hung over. Let me off this weekend aye.” He tried backing up again.

“And what about Mickey? You gonna stand him up?” Fuck, she sounded pissy but he wasn’t 100% sure why.

“Fuckkk!” That’s when it all rushed back. Mickey had feelings for him, he hadn’t imagined it. The bathroom, the kiss, more kissing and Mickey was picking him up at 5pm and taking him away for the night. He sat down heavy on the bottom step taking it all in again and looked up at his sister to see her smirking smugly at him.

“Bit too much to drink last night hmmm? Forgot didn’t ya… here, have another coffee with your smoke then you can go shower and pretty yourself up!” She said sarcastically and laughed at him again.

He got up and made his way back to the seat at the counter and finished his smoke. He lit up another one before chancing another look at her.

“I almost thought I dreamt it, fuck. How the fuck do you know anyway?” He asked her confusion evident in his voice. 

He watched her tapping her finger on her chin as she stood in front of him then she smiled devilishly. “Let’s see, first you both came downstairs at the same time hair all mussed up and lips swollen, then you both spent the next 15 minutes smiling at each other across the room like school girls with their first crush, then after Mickey left you pounced on me and dragged me into the toilet and spilled everything.” 

He tried for a small amount of dignity, “No I didn’t.”

“Ooh, yes you fucken did and he’s picking you up in about 3 hours and don’t forget to pack an overnight bag.” Smug bitch, he said under his breath, then felt a slap across his head.

He rubbed his head hoping his headache didn’t come back. “Wasn’t too sure if it really happened or not, fuck…hey, I thought you didn’t want me near him?” He sat back folding his arms and tried glaring at her.

“Yeah, well that was before I got to know him. We sort of became friends while you were gone and I worked it out for myself your feelings weren’t one sided.”

He couldn’t help the small smile creeping across his face. “So, what ya think about him now you two are friends? Not weird your little brother taking off for the night?”

He could tell she was enjoying this. “He’s a good guy, loves his family, wants a better life for them, he’s smart but definitely a control freak. As long as he doesn’t interfere with your studies and treats you right I have no problem. Just make sure you use protection, don’t want no teen pregnancies in this house fuck you Monica.” She said the last sentence seriously.

Before he could respond he thought of the many family curses their wonderful parents had bestowed upon them. 

Frank was an alcoholic, a drug addict and an abusive neglectful parent and Monica, fuck even worse. More drug addict than alcoholic but close, refused to be medicated for her bipolar disorder, neglectful and abandoned her children except for when she was about to drop off another one, but what scared him and his sister worse was the other genetic fault she’d passed to her second and third sons. 

Monica’s parents were both male. No one had a problem with them being gay, the problem was that one of them had physically gotten pregnant with her. It was extremely rare for it to happen and in most cases a family history was an indication. A gene their family carried which caused some males to have both internal sex organs and him and Carl had hit the jackpot. 

He didn’t let it bother him. “No problems Fi, I’m a top so there’s no way that could happen.” He smirked at her waiting for her response.

“Fuck Ian!” She hit him across the head again and gave him a dirty look. “I don’t need that image in my head, fuck!”

He took off quickly up the stairs before she could hit him again wondering were Mickey was taking him tonight.

******

As early morning light filtered into his room Mickey felt himself pulled from sleep. He was hangover free but desperately needed some water. He started drinking and was shocked when cold water hit his chest wondering how the fuck he’d missed his own mouth then realized he hadn’t. His chin was wet too and he’d dribbled like a baby learning how to drink. He wiped his chin dry with his hand then started to drink again and did the same thing when it dawned on him, he was fucken smiling. He couldn’t get his mouth to stop grinning long enough to hold liquid in his mouth without spilling any. 

Fuck. His stomach then started to rumble and an overwhelming urge for pancakes took over his need for water. Picking up his phone he was pissed to see it was only just after 7 fucken am, no way could he get Iggy up to cook for him this early so he decided to get dressed and head to Patsy’s for breakfast. 

The drive over didn’t take long, it was too early for Saturday morning traffic so he made it there fairly fast. There were hardly any people in the diner at this time of morning so he didn’t feel bad taking a whole booth up the back for himself. 

He’d ordered his pancakes and was drinking his first morning coffee when he started to think back to last night in the bathroom with Ian. He felt that stupid grin taking over again as his jeans started to feel tight. He pinched himself on the thigh, purposely hurting himself and managed to distract the hard on in his pants.

He didn’t have time for this shit. He had planning to do since he’d told Ian he was picking him up and to bring a change of clothes. He had no intention of just spending the night with Ian at home. He felt the need to impress him and the word special nearly made him choke. 

His food arrived when he’d started looking on his phone for ideas of somewhere ‘special’ to take Ian. He smothered his food in syrup, had a few mouthfuls to keep him going then went back to his phone.

He didn’t know where to start. He knew he want a nice hotel or some shit like that but had no idea how to choose. He made himself put ‘romantic hotels in Chicago’ into google and came up with a shit tone of names. Fuck, this was harder than he thought. 

He went back to eating his pancakes enjoying the sweetness of the syrup. He waved at the waitress holding up his cup for a coffee refill when an idea hit him. He remembered Jamie wanting to take some girl he was seeing away for the weekend, to get out of the house away from their father so he could enjoy himself. He’d mentioned getting a good deal on some last-minute website for hotels, it was like half the price so he typed that in and looked for something he liked.

It didn’t take him long. Still having the word ‘special’ floating around in his head he went straight for the deals for that night in a five-star hotel. Money wasn’t a problem but he didn’t want to overwhelm Ian or even himself. Looking at the rooms he could see himself and Ian never wanting to leave.

Fuck it, he was gonna splurge. He found a suit in the Peninsula Hotel which had everything he wanted, including late check out. A bed big enough for 4 to sleep in comfortably, a 65-inch flat screen, cable and even a fucken PS4 and games. 

It was still a fuck ton of money but now that he’d seen it he really wanted to stay there. The view of the city all lit up looked incredible and being a suite it also had a full lounge area with a dining table so they could order room service and eat while looking at the view or even just watch a movie or some shit.

He pulled out his wallet and got his credit card out. Yes, he owned a fucken credit card and booked it immediately. He was now too excited to finish his meal so he paid and drove home.

******

“Should I wake him?” Mandy asked for probably the tenth time.

“No.” Iggy answered her robotically as he ate.

“It’s already after 1pm, don’t you think he’d wanna get up to get ready?” She asked yet again while playing with her food.

“No.”

“Is that all you can fucken say!? And what am I gonna tell him about the watch?” Iggy was really starting to piss her off with his one word answers. Next time she’d have to remember to get him wasted first, at least then she might get 5 words from him.

“Tell him.” 

She couldn’t help herself and started clapping her hands loudly while still glaring at him. When he looked away from his food and made eye contact with her he glared back and made a hand gesture for her to speak.

“You finally increased your word count from 1 to 2 word answers, thanks asshole.” She now found herself in a staring contest with him which was only broken by the front door opening.

“Hey.” She heard Mickey say as he walked straight to his room carrying a few shopping bags then came back a few seconds later sitting down with them both at the table.

“Watcha do to piss him off this time Mandy?” Mickey laughed at her.

She now directed her ‘if looks could kill’ glare at him, “I’m asking his fucken…”

Iggy spoke right over her still using his usual emotionless voice. “Ian thought he had a stalker when he last went out and couldn’t get into any clubs. Some fucker told them all not to let him in. That and the expensive anonymous gift made both him and Fiona think that so he asked her to return the watch which Mandy said she would but she kept it and doesn’t know how to tell you.” Iggy then continued to eat his eggs.

“You fucken serious! Half a fucken hour I been asking you how to tell him and you just fucken blurt it out!” She spat at him.

Mickey couldn’t hold in the laugh yet again at the look on his sister’s face. “Alright, alright I’ll tell him ok.” He tried to pacify her as she stormed off to her room then came back placing the watch case in front of him then headed back to her room slamming the door behind her.

“Some eggs left, you hungry?” Iggy asked him like nothing had happened. 

“Yeah, I could eat.” He answered his brother while playing with the watch case not even realizing he would normally be pissed off. 

******

Mickey pulled up just before 5pm and sent Ian a text letting him know he was there, not quite ready to see Fiona but positive she knew. Knowing he could trust her and being ready for anyone other than his siblings to know were two different things. 

It didn’t take long for Ian to come out and fuck did he look good. He was wearing fitted dark grey button up and what looked like dark blue jeans. The confidence he carried when he came down the stairs and got in the car was really something. 

First thing out of his mouth, “Mandy dress you too?” He smirked while pointing to their clothes.

Fuck. They were wearing nearly identical clothes except his shirt was more mid grey. “Fuck I’m gonna kill that bitch!” Just looking at Ian he couldn’t help but smirk back. 

For a second he thought Ian was gonna kiss him when he lent towards him making him flinch but realized he was putting his bag in the back. He felt Ian’s hand on his thigh before he spoke. “I do know where we live Mickey.” Ian’s voice held only understanding. He started the car and drove off trying to concentrate on the road when Ian left his hand on his leg. 

It took Ian a whole 5 minutes to ask where they were going, he’d expected him to break sooner. “You’ll know when we get there soooo…” Mickey reach down grabbing Ian’s hand that started travelling further up his thigh holding it still. “Behave or I’ll make you sit in the back. Shouldn’t be more than an hour so why don’t you tell me about this baby army camp shit you went on.” He grinned over at him receiving a smile in return.

BIG fucken mistake. He’d pegged Ian for more of a quiet type, someone who was comfortable with silences or maybe it was just the subject. He must have told him every detail from getting on the bus to getting back off when he’d come home. He talked about the other ‘cadets’, he thinks he called them from all over the country who attended. The training and obstacle courses, target shooting, lack of sleep and the shit food. 

He tried to nod or comment at the right times but after 10 minutes he was ready to pull over to the side of the road and shove his cock down Ian’s throat to shut him the fuck up, but he behaved. He bit the inside of his cheek and reminded himself repeatedly of how much he wanted him, how long he’d waited and how good Ian would look when he eventually did have his cock in his mouth.

When they were 10 minutes away by Mickey’s calculations he chucked his smokes at Ian to get his attention and hopefully shut him the fuck up. “The hotel we’re staying at is no smoking so light me one up Firecrotch.” He kept his eyes on the road and held out his hand.

“Firecrotch? Seriously?” Ian tried to sound indignant but failed.

“What! You telling me the carpet doesn’t match the drapes, hmmm?” He looked over at Ian quickly and found him grinning as a lit smoke was shoved into his mouth. 

“Whatever, just make sure you feed me or you won’t find out.” Ian still tried to sound annoyed but the grin made him fail.

The drove the last few minutes in silence until Mickey stopped in front of the Hotel and a valet approached the car.

As the valet opened Ian’s door he turned to Mickey dumbstruck. “We’re staying here?” 

Mickey decided to ignore him and opened his own door going to the back to get their bags. He handed the valet his keys and took his receipt then checked to see that Ian was following him as he entered the hotel lobby. 

He tried to hide his own shock as they entered, he’d never seen any as opulent, ‘fuck that was gay’ and focused on getting to the front desk before Ian saw his face. He was here to impress him, so he used everything in him to keep his cool. 

As the desk clerk was checking his details he turned to look for Ian and found him standing about 10 feet away turning in a slow circle taking everything in. He looked like a kid in a candy shop unable to choose what to fucken eat first. He turned back to the clerk and signed whatever the fuck she put in front of him and took his keycard thanking her.

Knowing there was absolutely no chance of seeing anyone they knew he took Ian’s hand in his own and pulled him towards the elevators. “C’mere Cinderella, let’s get you to the ball.” He couldn’t help the slight awe in his voice but he doubted Ian picked it up.

Ian finally looked at him when the elevator doors closed and his face now looked downright sinful. He walked right up to his face, lent in and whispered in his ear, “if you wanted me to fuck you senseless, all you had to do was ask.” He ran his tongue over the shell of his ear and bit down gently making him instantly hard. Ian subtlety moved his hand across his groin smirking when he let out a low moan. 

When they got off the elevator Ian took the bags off him and follow him to their room. He opened the door for Ian to enter before him and as he was closing the door Ian grabbed him by the shoulder spinning him around and pushed him up against it. He pinned him in and immediately attacked his lips hungrily. 

The kiss was aggressive, sloppy and fucken hot. He felt like Ian was trying to devour him alive. Ian got ahold of his tongue with his lips and pulled it into his own mouth sucking on it gently while swallowing his moan. He’d always been in control with anything sexual and Ian’s behavior was making his cock throb. Ian was an entirely new experience and he knew right then he would never get enough. 

He felt Ian undoing his belt and jeans even with no space between them as he turned his attention to his bottom lip and sucked and bit down gently. He was so stunned by Ian’s actions that he didn’t realize Ian had left his mouth and was now on his knees freeing his cock from his pants. 

The next thing he felt was Ian’s tongue running from the base of his cock wetly up to the head and teasing his slit. Ian licked all over his head, spitting on it making it wetter and blowing softly on it making him shiver. He placed one hand flat behind him on the door needing the support and slid the other hand into Ian’s hair as he felt him take him into his mouth. 

He looked down to see the sight he’d been fantasizing about and couldn’t help the moan that escaped his mouth. Ian was bobbing his head on his cock gazing up at him with his wide innocent eyes looking directly into his. He could feel himself hitting the back of his throat while he hollowed his cheeks sucking him down whole. He felt his legs start to tremble then Ian’s hands holding his hips back against the door as he came violently down his throat throwing his head back. 

He felt and heard Ian choke slightly as he tightened his fist in his hair. Ian pulled back half way as he drew everything out of him then lick him all over making sure he didn’t miss a thing. 

As he tried to catch his breath he could hear himself moaning softly and felt Ian’s hands crawling up his body and taking his face into his hands. Ian lent into him and kissed him gently with only his lips, the slight tang of his own cum lingering, then left him slumped against the door with his cock still hanging out while he walked further into the room. 

As his breathing started to even out he pulled up his boxers then reach down to his shoes undoing them and pulled them off followed by his jeans. They barely hit the floor when Ian came back and took his hand pulling him further into the room over to the huge glass windows.

“Look at the view! It’s fucken amazing Mickey! How high up are we?” Mickey wondered how this fucker could sound and look so fucken innocent after giving him the best blow job of his life.

His controlling nature taking back over, the need to be in control, he couldn’t help the slightly mocking tone of his voice. “Well if you had your head outta the clouds you would’ve fucken noticed we were on the twelfth floor princess.”

Ian punched him in the arm and turned back to look outside. He then looked down at Mickey and saw he was only in his boxers and shirt and decided to join him but took off his shirt as well the fucker. He could feel himself getting hard again but knew he had to eat dinner first before taking on more Ian Gallagher cause if ‘please god’ he fucked like he sucked cock then he would need all the energy he could muster.

******

In Mickey’s opinion, he’d probably just eaten the best steak he’d ever had. It was soft and tender and bleeding like it’d just been stabbed. Ian had ordered the same but medium-rare, not quite as much blood and they’d both had baked potatoes topped with sour cream with their steaks. 

For dessert, they both ordered chocolate soufflé with vanilla ice cream because Ian liked the word soufflé and he liked chocolate. He’d bought a bottle of Jim Beam blue label with him and they’d nearly drank half of it. A Steven Seagal movie was playing in the background, he had no fucken idea by now which one he’d put on while they chatted, yes fucken chatted as he wanted to make sure Ian was relaxed, himself too and they both had a really good buzz happening.

When he felt comfortable enough after their meal he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He cut Ian off mid-sentence crashing their lips together and pushing Ian back onto the long lounge and covering him with his body.

He wasn’t gentle but he wasn’t kissing him just yet with the same intensity that Ian had earlier. This time he wasn’t gonna let Ian take control. He kissed him deeply, licking into his mouth and tasting the sweetness left over from dessert. He had one arm wrapped around the top of Ian’s head controlling how he moved with his hand resting on it and the hand from his other arm caressing Ian’s face as he lay heavily on top of him. He felt Ian’s hands running up and down his back, lightly dragging his nails across his skin.

When he needed to come up for air he pulled his lips away and started to kiss along Ian’s jaw. He moved down further wanting to finally kiss and mark up Ian’s neck. He started softly and gradually built up the pressure of his kisses and bites down the side of his neck enjoying the softness of his skin on top to the muscles he could feel underneath. 

When he couldn’t hold back anymore he started to suck and bite down harder on his flesh. He knew he was marking him and when Ian began to moan under him he bit down even harder causing him to get louder.

He knew from Ian’s earlier aggression that he would be into the roughness that he loved so much. He moved down more biting into his shoulders and collar bone leaving more of his claiming bruises for all to see. 

When he tasted a slight metallic taste in his mouth from a particularly hard bite he made himself hold back a little and started to focus on Ian’s body. He ran one of his hands down the side of Ian’s torso feeling more hard muscle under his hand. 

He moved his body further down, feeling Ian hard against his stomach and pushing down more eliciting a whine from him and feeling him push himself up into him and rutting gently into his stomach. 

He felt himself being consumed by the body he wanted so badly, not able to get enough of the feel of him beneath him. He moved himself over slightly and took one of Ian’s nipples into his mouth. Teasing it with his tongue, biting gently with his teeth feeling Ian rut even harder into him. 

He heard Ian calling his name, his voice full of lust and felt him pulling him up by his hair. He looked up at him slowly, his eyes travelling up to his face and taking in all the marks he’d left on him. When he got to his face his skin was flushed and the pupils of his eyes were blown. He heard Ian loudly whisper ‘bed bed’, so he slowly lifted up off him taking him with him, backing him into the bedroom and pushing him roughly onto the bed.

He watched Ian back up further onto the bed so he was completely on it then he crawled between his legs till his mouth reached his abs and he began to kiss, lick and nip at the muscles bulging through his skin. 

He felt Ian’s fingers tugging on his hair as his mouth kissed down to the edge of his boxers that barely contained him. He pulled them down slowly enjoying the sight of Ian rock hard and knowing his guess was right, he was at least 9 inches long and thick. He back up off the bed taking them with him and leaving him now completely naked.

“Don’t move.” He ordered him huskily as he quickly went to the side of the bed where he’d already left out a bottle of lube and condoms taking them with him. He took off his own boxers and moved back in between Ian’s legs. 

Ian was panting softly with his eyes closed as he moved his mouth down to his cock and licked around the head flicking his tongue over the slit teasing him and making him whine. He blindly opened the lube slicking up his fingers and feeling some drip off. He took the head of Ian’s cock into his mouth sucking on it until he heard him cry out and felt hands pulling on hair.

He flattened his tongue as he took as much of Ian’s length as he could into his mouth and started bobbing his head listening to Ian cry out louder. He brought his slicked-up fingers to Ian’s ass and slowly pushed one finger into him feeling a tight clench around it.

Ian’s reaction was instant. He shot up and pulled himself up the bed dislodging his finger and pulling his cock out of his mouth. He had a shocked look on his face which confused the fuck out of Mickey.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He rubbed Ian’s lower leg that was still beside him trying to remember if he’d entered him too rough.

He watched a slightly panicked Ian try to get words out stuttering as he spoke. “I... I… I’ve never had a finger in me before, it shocked me.” He finally said.

Now Mickey was really fucken confused. “What the fuck do you mean you’ve never had a finger in you.”

Voice low, nervousness coming through as he speaks. “Mickey, I’m a top.”

“FUCK!”

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who gives in first????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd part of their night away and yes I pushed myself to write more smut. This chapter scared the fuck out of me trying to write it so I hope you all enjoy it and that I don't disappoint. 
> 
> Once again thankyou all so much for your supportive comments and kudos, they give me the confidence to continue.

 

 

 

 

“Mickey, I’m a top.”

“Mickey, I’m a top.”

“Mickey, I’m a top.”

“Mickey, I’m a top.”

Ian’s voice was like a fucken loop running continuously through his head over and over and over like it’d never stop. Fuck me, he really wanted to hit something then he looked back up at Ian’s face. It was a mixture of confusion and disappointment and maybe a bit of nerves thrown in for good measure. 

He bit down on his bottom lip not quite sure what he should do, but he really didn’t want Ian looking at him like that. He forced a smile knowing it would in no way reach his eyes and crawled up the bed and pulled Ian into his arms, resting his face in his neck and rubbing his back gently. 

This was really fucked up. First time in his life he wanted another man for more than just a back alley fuck and this has to happen. He had to think of something. He already knew he couldn’t give him up, Ian was like nothing he’d ever had before. Ian was his own personally version of Meth and now he’d had a taste he was done for. He was a fucken addict and he hated the loss of control he was now feeling, but he couldn’t end it. He couldn’t say good bye, Ian was already his and he had no intention of ever letting him go.

He was so deep in thought and distracted by his now painfully hard unsatisfied cock that he didn’t hear when Ian spoke to him. He did however feel when Ian gently flicked the head of his cock and looked down at him in his arms not able to hide the desire that still coursed through him or the automatic response of his hips moving.

Ian spoke to him quietly. “Did you hear me or has all the blood left your big head?” When he didn’t respond, Ian continued. “I said I’ll do it but only if you do it too.” 

“Do what?” For a second he had no idea what the fuck Ian was talking about then it dawned on him what Ian meant. He wasn’t sure what to say now. Yes, he wanted to fuck him but did he really want to be fucked himself? Shit… did he really have a choice?

His eyes drifted away from Ian’s face and slowly moved down the body he was craving so much. He felt Ian begin to knead his right ass cheek and knew he would give in.

His eyes travelled back up his body into Ian’s now faux innocent eyes and couldn’t help the smirk now taking over his face. Fuck it… “So, I get your virgin ass if I give you mine hmmm?”

“Only fair don’t ya think? I’ll even let you go first…” That was all he needed to hear as his lips crashed down onto Ian’s as he rolled back on top of him forcing his way back into his mouth with his tongue.

He didn’t kiss him for long, worried Ian may change his mind and his desperate need to be inside him as he moved back down in between his legs and grabbed the lube he’d left there earlier. 

“No! Wait, we need to speak first.” He could hear apprehension in Ian’s voice and hoped like fuck he hadn’t changed his mind. “You might want a drink first, I know I need one and a smoke.” Ian reach up to cradle his cheek with his hand reassuringly. “Don’t worry I’m not changing my mind but you might. Let’s sneak a smoke in the bathroom.”

Mickey could tell he wouldn’t get any further until Ian said what he needed to so he grabbed the bottle of Jim Beam and his smokes and followed Ian into the bathroom where he already had the shower going to help mask the smoke.

After they lit their smokes and had a good swig of drink Ian launched straight into what he had to say. He told him all about the genetic fault in his family, how him and Carl had inherited it. How his grandfathers were both male and one had carried their mother. How he found out through a routine physical for WestPoint.

“You fucken serious?” Mickey was in shock. He’d vaguely heard about this genetic fault but never really paid any attention as it didn’t affect him. 

“Besides not having the urge to try bottoming for this reason, the thought still freaks me out a little.” He paused now sounding unsure. “I totally get it if you don’t want anything more to do with me and I honestly would have told you if I’d known you were a top, so I’m really sorry.”

Mickey thought for a minute before he spoke knowing this wasn’t a deal breaker, he couldn’t give him up now even if he tried but thinking how to say it without coming across as possessive. “Look, I don’t know a lot about this shit but I have heard some. I really don’t have a fucken problem with it, just means we use protection.” He hoped he sound as blasé as he felt and stood up pulling Ian back into the bedroom before he had a chance to change his mind. 

******

“You ready?” He looked down at Mickey between his legs, lube in one hand and the other rubbing his leg soothingly. He looked ready to eat him alive, tongue darting out of his mouth like a cobra and pupils blown leaving nearly nothing of his sky blue eyes.

“Fuck, not really but I want to so…” He couldn’t help the slight tremble in his voice. He lifted his pelvis a little letting Mickey know he could begin. When he heard the cap open on the lube he closed his eyes and tried to relax his body breathing deeply.

The first touch was warm. Mickey must have rubbed his fingers together warming up the lube covering them. He felt him tentatively push at his entrance and automatically froze trying not to move. Mickey rubbed his other hand gently over his cock distractingly as he pushed one finger inside him. 

It wasn’t painful but it felt weird as he slowly moved his finger in and out of him. As he felt his body start to relax he felt Mickey pushing a second finger inside him. This time it hurt, a burning sensation as he felt two fingers pushing their way inside him, stretching him open. Mickey paused again letting him get used to it, the burn eased then his fingers started to move again.

He didn’t move them in and out this time, it was like he was feeling around, stretching him inside and feeling his outer walls. He jumped when he was hit by a new sensation, something he knew that bottoms loved. Mickey had found his prostate and was teasing it with the end of his fingers. Ian felt his cock coming back to life and a low moan escaped his lips. 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but Mickey was now moving his fingers in and out then apart. When they were inside teasing him grazing his prostate and making him squirm. He felt a third finger enter him but even with the added width and stretch his body was distracted by the stimulation inside him and the hand stroking his cock.

He could feel himself starting to squirm and his breathing getting heavy when Mickey pulled his fingers back out and took both his hands away. He looked up at him about to ask why he stopped when he saw and heard him opening the condom. He watched him put it on and lather his cock in lube. He felt a moment of panic while watching him, fingers were one thing but his cock was a lot bigger. Not as big as his own but larger than average. Bigger than 7 inches and nearly as thick as his own.

Mickey felt Ian try to move, to turn over but he held his leg down. “No, I want to see you.” His voice was thick and heavy with hunger. He hooked one of Ian’s legs up in one of his hands while he positioned himself at his entrance and slowly pushed the head of his cock inside.

He heard Ian’s breath hitch in his throat and looked up at him to see him gripping at the sheets to either side of him, his face breaking into a sweat, eyes closed. He fought with himself for dominance, wanting to push all the way into him hard and fast. 

He swallowed deeply, the sight of Ian beneath him nearly enough to make him come undone. He slowly pushed in further, groaning loudly at the tightness surrounding him and the view of himself going in further. He had to look away, it was too much. He leaned over Ian’s body, lifting both of Ian’s legs and pulling them around his waist as he leaned further over him till his face was hovering above Ian’s, his arms cradling his head and holding himself up.

Mickey rested his face gently against Ian’s while pushing in further, coaxing Ian’s muscles to open up and let him in. Ian’s hands now holding onto his shoulders, blunt nails digging in harder and harder as he felt himself bottom out. 

He stopped moving, not for Ian’s benefit but his own as he felt the tightness surrounding him constricting. He’d never been inside anyone that felt this amazing, Ian’s muscles clenching around him tighter than anything he’s ever felt before. Overwhelmed physically and mentally knowing he was Ian’s first, he was the one taking Ian’s virginity.

He gently kissed Ian’s lips and rubbed his nose against his soothingly. Ian opened his eyes and nodded his head slightly letting him know he was ready. He forced himself to pull back slowly, fighting his own instincts to take what he wanted without thought of the person below him. This was different though, this was his Ian and he wanted to draw it out as long as he could.

Ian had lost his erection when Mickey entered him. The pressure from being stretched and the slight burn he felt was all he could feel at that moment. When he felt as comfortable as he could with the stretch, he let Mickey know he was ready. It was a strange feeling at first but as Mickey started to move slowly inside him it started to feel pleasurable. 

Mickey began with a slow deep pace, feeling himself breath loudly and Ian beginning to whimper under. He was barely able to hear him say ‘more Mick, more’. He picked up the pace feeling Ian’s inner walls opening for him more. “Fuckkk…” he groaned as Ian grabbed his hair pulling him into a deep kiss and moaning into his mouth. 

Mickey was now thrusting in harder, arms under Ian’s shoulders, his body laying heavy over Ian’s and rolling his hips until he found that spot that made Ian start to writhe underneath him, arch up into him mouth falling open and a look of ecstasy taking over his face. 

Ian wanted more, so much more. His body started to squirm underneath Mickey’s as his hips started to roll and he hit his prostate over and over again. He felt like he was smothering under Mickey’s weight in the most amazing way and every time he hit him just right he felt a surge of unbelievable pleasure course through his body and his cock throbbed painfully. Moans he had never made before when he topped fell through his lips unconsciously. 

Mickey could feel Ian’s cock hard and wet, leaking and rubbing in between them from the stimulation and closeness of their bodies. His legs squeezing him tighter. “Mick…I’m…I’m…” He’s groaning filthily under him. Ian bites down harshly into his shoulder as his body trembles and he comes hard between them. 

Ian was so overwhelmed by the sensations running through him. He knew he was close and couldn’t help but bite down hard on Mickey’s shoulder as he felt the most intense orgasm he’d ever felt rip through him.

Mickey thrusted into him deeper, faster as he felt Ian clenching around him, his balls retracting as he feels himself coming impossibly hard inside him as he growls out loud “Mine!!!”

When he can’t come anymore his body collapses onto Ian’s, struggling to breath, seeing white spots behind his eyelids.

He’s not sure how long he lays on top of him when he feels Ian pushing him off and rolls slowly onto his back alongside of him, both still breathing loudly. He takes off the condom tying it off and drops it onto the floor not caring where it lands.

His breathing slowing down he can feel Ian’s eyes on him and turns to look at him. Ian is smiling at him with a stupid look on his face. He knows his face must look the same as he says the first thing to pop into his head. “Man, that was good.”

Ian answers him sounding mockingly offended. “Really, just good.” He stares at him for a few seconds before speaking again. “Didn’t sound ‘just good’ when you growled out ‘mine’.

“Fuck you!” He couldn’t help but laugh out loud. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and looked down his chest and stomach, then over at Ian’s. “Come on princess. Let’s go get showered before your mess dries all over us.”

Before he got to the bathroom door Ian was calling him back. “Um, Mickey. Think you could give me a hand up asshole. I think you fucken broke me.” He said as he made wounded noises.

Mickey loved the sounds coming out of Ian and the indignant tone he spoke to him with. He moved back over to him quickly and pulled him up off the bed. He tried not to laugh at how unsteady Ian was on his legs, reminded him of animal shows he’d seen on TV of new born gazelles learning to stand for the first time. He put his arm around his waist and helped him walk slowly to the bathroom not commenting on the more than obvious limp Ian now had.

After they were both clean and had snuck another smoke in, Mickey followed behind and watched in amusement and pride as Ian hobbled his way to his side of the bed and carefully climbed in. He got in next to him moving over to Ian’s side and kissed him slowly while caressing his face.

Ian pulled away from him covering his mouth to yawn then gave him a dirty look. “If I’m still INJURED” … he raised his voice playfully… “and can’t fuck you in the morning, then you’re not getting my ass again until I do!” He then turned his back to Mickey and pushed his body as close as he could into his rubbing his ass against his now half hard cock and promptly fell asleep.

Mickey didn’t care, he simply wrapped his arms around him, around what was now his and knew he would never let him go. Ian belonged to him and nothing or no one would ever take him away.

******

Ian woke up groaning, not in pain but in ecstasy. He reached his hand down and ran his fingers through Mickeys hair. He couldn’t help but entwine them through it and hold on tight as he bucked his hips up into Mickey’s mouth.

Mickey pulled his mouth of Ian’s cock and licked the underside that was facing him letting his tongue trail along the heavy vein there before sealing his lips back over his cock and sucking on his head. He pulled back again and swirled his tongue over him licking the precum that was leaking out.

He took Ian back into his mouth bobbing his head, enjoying the sounds he was making come out of Ian’s mouth. He took as much of him in as he could, feeling Ian’s cock hitting the back of his throat while his other hand fondled his balls. 

He could tell Ian was getting close so he hollowed his cheeks sucking him down as hard as he could and hummed as he pulled the orgasm out of him. Ian moaned as he held his hair tight and arched his pelvis coming down his throat hot and heavy. Mickey swallowed as much as he could but felt some dripping down his chin. 

He let go of Ian’s cock and crawled up his body needing a good morning kiss. As he leaned in he felt Ian’s tongue licking his chin and cleaning up what he missed. He felt his cock getting harder than it already was then he moved closer and kissed him softly hoping for more when he heard a knock at the door.

Ian lay back relaxed though still in pain as Mickey put on a robe and went to answer the door. He heard quiet words but couldn’t make them out. The door closed and he saw Mickey pushing a cart of covered dishes over to the table they had eaten at the night before. He put on his own robe and made his way out of the room slowly, starving and hoping he’d ordered coffee too.

He was about to comment on the amount of food he saw Mickey placing on the table when he turned around and started laughing at him. 

Ian put his hands on his waist leaning on the leg that hurt the least about to tell him off when Mickey moved quickly sweeping him into his arms and kissing the words out of his mouth. It was short and sweet then Mickey led him to the table sitting him down and poured him a coffee and a glass of orange juice. 

Ian glared at him while he served him eggs, bacon and pancakes. He waited until Mickey sat himself down before he spoke. “You trying to kiss my ass now Mick!?” He said his name harshly. 

Mickey looked him straight in the eyes all serious, “I don’t think we have enough time now but if you come back to mine…” Before Mickey could finish Ian flicked egg in his face making them both burst into hysterics. 

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm nobody's whore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a friend read this chapter she pointed out something that some people may take the wrong way although she got what I was trying to convey and agreed with me that it would/should come up many times. I am NOT purposely setting out to make Mickey hurt Ian. They are both different but similar to canon and this story is AU. Mickey’s feelings towards Ian are something he’s never experienced before and coupled with his upbringing scare the living shit out of him. He has no idea how to deal with them, has never seen first hand deep feelings of a romantic nature or what love towards another may entail except for the love and loyalty he has for his siblings. 
> 
> These are complex emotions he has to learn and I don’t feel he could simply overcome the confusion that comes with them in a few chapters. I see them as an ongoing struggle within his own mind and feel his development emotionally deserves to be seen even if he does fuck up repeatedly, it’s only human nature and people tend to hurt the ones they love the most even unintentionally. 
> 
> Ian is not a perfect creature either and I intend to get more into him at a later stage but right now my mind wants to focus on Mickey. Both only know what they’ve experienced growing up and while in this AU I’ve made Mickey the more manipulative of the 2, I feel that stems from his deep-seated control issues which he developed growing up and used to make a better life for himself and his siblings. I see his nature as the catalyst that helped his family when it was needed.
> 
> If this offends anyone, the way I personally see this AU Mickey then please don’t continue with this story. I don’t want anyone to be upset with my writing, it’s simply the way I see him and I don’t think sprinkling magic fairy dust on him will automatically give him a depth of understanding without learning from mistakes.
> 
> RANT RANT RANT. Just felt the need to explain myself. If I didn’t love the character so much I wouldn’t give a shit about his personal growth.

Mickey was parked in front of the Gallagher house watching as Ian limped up the stairs and all he could think about was wanting to drag him back down to the car, lock all the doors and take him back to his place and never let him out again.

Fuck. He didn’t know if he was happy or sad now as Ian disappeared inside. Why did he feel more conflicted now than he did before last night? Fuck it, he thought as he drove the few minutes it took him to get home.

Pulling up out the front he wondered if he would find Iggy and Mandy waiting for him. He was nearly positive Mandy would be there wanting to engage him in her girly shit he’d found himself falling into since this whole thing with Ian started. He’d move fast, go straight to his room and hopefully she’d be distracted by the Xbox or some other shit or he’d been lucky and she’d been waiting at Ian’s for him to come home and gossip.

He moved slowly out the car closing the door as quietly as he could then made his way up to the front door and slipped inside.

Well he must have fucked all his luck into Ian cause the bitch was leaning against the lounge waiting for him and Iggy was smirking at him from the dining table as he rolled joints.

How the fuck he found himself in a staring standoff with his baby sister he’ll never know but here he fucken was. “Fucken what bitch!?” He didn’t mean to snap at her, just came out that way. 

She playfully asked him, “What’s wrong Mick? You in a bad mood after finding out Ian’s a top? I really expected you to be walking funny after what Ian’s packing!” 

“Ha ha, very fucking funny.” He walked past her feeling his temper taking over when he suddenly stopped. How the fuck did she know that! He thought as he swung back around and glowered at her.

He saw her smile evaporate instantly and her face lose some of its color. Yeah that’s right. All this Ian shit had been making him soft. It was time to put his foot down before people thought they could take advantage, even his family. Mandy had started to change the way she spoke to him and he wasn’t having it, no fucken way.

He left her standing there again and made his way to his room dropping off his bag then walked over to the table and sat opposite his brother. Iggy never said a word, however he did push over the ashtray with newly rolled joints towards him then got up and grabbed him a beer from the fridge and sat back down after placing it before him.

He opened his beer and drank half in one go before he spoke. “How do you know that?” He asked her voice low and detached. When she didn’t answer him a few seconds later he asked again but this time louder. “I asked you a question, how the fuck do you know that?”

He still had his back towards her but he knew she was there, knew she hadn’t moved. “I… um… he told me he was a top.” She replied meekly. 

He turned around to her dumbfounded. “That’s not what I meant and you know that.” He looked her in the eye until she looked away.

He continued to watch her and when she spoke she still looked away from him. “I walked in on him once after a shower. He was in a towel and had just dropped it. I didn’t look for long and he turned around quickly and got dressed. It was before you met him and it didn’t mean anything, he’s gay.” 

This was all getting too uncomfortable for his liking so he picked up the joints and walked back into his room, this time not coming back out. 

 

******

 

Mandy’s eyes followed her brother into his bedroom not daring to move until he closed the door not wanting draw his attention back her way. Before she dared to move she felt her other brother Iggy’s hand on her shoulder squeezing it gently.

Speaking barely above a whisper to him, “I’m gonna go in my room and text Ian, if Mickey’s this angry I’m sure Ian must be worse. Fuck.”

She vaguely heard Iggy mention something about dinner as she quietly walked to her room and flopped down on her bed to text Ian.

 

Mandy>>> hey

Ian>>> hey ur self

Mandy>>> well??

Ian>>> well what??

Mandy>>> deeds pls

Ian>>> bout banging ur bro??

Mandy>>> not xact but yes

Ian>>> best date eva

Mandy>>> it was ur first 1 dick breath

Ian>>> he went all out… was amazing

Mandy>>> really?

Ian>>> fancy hotel, dinner & breakfast and in between

Mandy>>> Mickey had a good time?

Ian>>> yeah… both did

Mandy>>> u seeing him again?

Ian>>> 2morrow or next

Mandy>>> who banged who?

Ian>>> really…?

Mandy>>> curious… u both top

Ian>>> thanks 4 telling me

Mandy>>> haha more fun 

Ian>>> I gave it up

Mandy>>> WHAT!!!

Ian>>> agreed 2 switch

Mandy>>> he’s not walking funny

Ian>>> fuck

Ian>>> my turn next

Mandy>>> U only banged once!

Ian>>> couldn’t… sort of broke me

Ian>>> ?

Ian>>> fuck u

Mandy>>> sorry haha

Ian>>> need sleep

Ian>>> c u 2morrow at work

Mandy>>> mwah

Mandy lay back in bed trying to figure out why her brother was in such a dirty mood after what Ian said. Fuck, Ian even gave it up for the first time so it had to be more than just a one time deal.

She racked her brain but still couldn’t understand. Why was Mickey in such a bad mood after what Ian had told her? Ian would never consider trying to bottom for just anyone so what the fuck was wrong?

No way… No fucken way… Mickey wouldn’t do that, would he? After all the pining, all the planning Mickey had put in to being with Ian would he have lost interest now that he’d had him? And if he had how would she ever face Ian again? she thought as she felt tears welling in her eyes.

 

******

 

To say Ian felt overjoyed when he walked in his front door would be an understatement. He felt fucken ecstatic, over the fucken moon and all those other cliché feelings he’d heard his sister and Veronica talk about but had never experienced himself. 

After shrugging of his jacket and dropping his bag at the foot of the stairs to take up with him later he made his way to the kitchen where he could hear his sister and made a conscious effort to walk straight. 

Fiona was on him so fast he had no time to think. After hugging him and asking a million discreet questions as his younger siblings were in and out the room constantly she finally let him go when she seemed satisfied with his answers.

He went back for his bag and made his way up the stairs feeling the ache in his hips with every upward step. He couldn’t help but grin when he thought of why he was in pain. 

Stripping off his clothes and putting on a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt he went straight for the math book Lip had given him to study knowing he was a few days behind in his scheduled program. 

He knew he could lay back and take it easy, it wasn’t like this was school work. It was extra work Lip had gotten for him from college to make sure he kept his math grades high as it was the only subject he seemed to struggle with so he made a point of always being ahead.

He was broken from his study when Mandy started texting him, he was surprised it had taken her so long and he’d half expected her to be at his when he walked in. 

It was a weird conversation. While he loved being able to talk to her about his night away with Mickey it was still her brother they were talking about so he was subtle when he answered her questions. He felt himself blush when he admitted to her he’d bottomed for the first time and was positive she was laughing when he admitted he was ‘broken’. He’d laugh too if it wasn’t himself they were talking about. 

A few hours later after having dinner with his siblings and doing the dishes he called it an early night. He was still exhausted from his time away and needed to catch up on sleep ready to get back into his routine of work and training. He was too disciplined to let himself fall behind and always had his end goal in sight.

Before falling asleep he looked at the couple of pictures in his phone that Mickey had let him take of the two of them. One of Mickey still fully dressed and laying on the huge bed, one of them both in robes standing in front of the windows with the view of the city lit up behind them and lastly a picture of them both from the chest up, clearly wearing no tops laying in bed with satisfied grins on their faces.

He sent all three pictures to Mickey and a text thanking him again. He waited a few minutes without a response and figured he must already be sleeping even though it was still early. He drifted off thinking about his turn to top and amazed at the turn of events his life had taken. 

 

******

 

Mickey didn’t turn his phone back on until he woke late the next day and as expected he had a few texts from Ian. He’d sent him the 3 pictures he took from the hotel and thanked him again for their time away. He replied to him with a simple ‘no problem’, not knowing what else to say right now.

After saving the pictures in a secure folder on his phone he deleted the texts not chancing anyone else should see them and cursing himself for thinking with his dick instead of his head.

After a few minutes of just staring at the picture of the 2 of them in bed he felt a tightening in his chest. The way he’d felt that night after finally getting everything he’d ever wanted from Ian was the most overwhelming feeling he had ever had so why the fuck was he feeling so conflicted since saying goodbye to him.

He felt like he was fighting with himself. On one hand, he’d never felt so connected to another person in his life as he’d felt with Ian. He was everything he never knew he wanted. Just being near him sent his heart racing. The need to touch him constantly, to feel him under his touch was painful. 

Holding Ian in his arms and caressing him? He didn’t do shit like that, didn’t even hug his own siblings if he didn’t have too so why the constant need with Ian. And then wanting to comfort him, reassure him it was ok when they both realized they were tops? Fuck that shit to hell. 

No fucken way could he allow these feelings to continue he said to himself as he thought of the other hand, the other side to these new and fucked up feelings. 

These last couple of months since first meeting Ian he’d done and felt things he never wanted to feel for another person. He’d let his normally hard persona drop slightly and now he felt like everyone knew, that everyone was just waiting to attack while he was weak.

The way Mandy had started to speak to him since all this shit with Ian started. She’d never argued with him or yelled beside normal teenage girly shit when she didn’t get her own way. Or the way she looked at him when he had to demean himself to ask her advice about Ian. 

It couldn’t continue, not after the way she’d spoke to him yesterday when he got home. The way he had reacted to her words, her snide comments. He’d automatically put her back in her place without having to think about it. Let himself go back to who he was, who he was happy being and controlling his life without outside influences. 

He’d let his work, his business slide as he began to be consumed with all things Ian. He needed to take back control of his life, of the family business and make sure his family knew he was still in charge.

He wasn’t ready for this, for Ian. The lack of control and the feelings that Ian brought out in him was too much. It made him feel soft, weak and he couldn’t have that. He couldn’t have Ian. He couldn’t have anything to do with Ian or ever see him again.

Before he changed his mind, he sent Ian a text telling him they were done. Yeah right, fucken done. They hadn’t really even begun he thought bitterly not noticing the few stray tears that escaped his eyes.

 

******

 

Ian spent most of the day studying, giving himself another day to rest up before getting back into his training. He only had 1 week left, this week before he was back at school for his final year and he’d have next to no time for himself when it began.

As he made his way to work he finally checked the numerous texts he’d received while away at the training camp. 64 fucken texts. At least half were from Aiden, a couple from Simon who he’d only seen a few days ago, and a load from a few numbers he didn’t know. He decided not to open any now and save them for when he was bored at work.

He’d interrupted something. He could sense the tension in the air as soon as he’d entered the shop. All conversation stopped and Fiona, Mandy and Iggy all stared at him like he had 3 fucken heads. He stared back at them trying to get a feel for what was wrong, what had happened to make it feel so tense. 

All three of them seemed to startle when his phone chimed an incoming text. He was going to ignore it but from the looks on their faces he could tell they’d been expecting it. What the fuck was going on? was his only thought as he opened his phone to read the text they all seemed to know about before him.

 

Mickey>>> other night was good but can’t do no more. don’t come over mine lose my number

 

He couldn’t make his eyes look away from the screen. They were fixated, disbelieving of what he was reading. He could feel his face draining of all color. He’d never felt so embarrassed, humiliated and used in his entire life. 

If not for the composure he’d been trained to maintain or maybe just the shock of having his feelings so crushed, he would have surely run and not been able to face the people in front of him. 

When he looked back up he sensed both Fiona and Mandy reach out to him but he stepped away from their touch and directed his gaze and question at Iggy.

He sounded empty, void of all emotion even to his own ears when he spoke. “Is this gonna effect my sister’s job?”

“Fuck, no Ian. I was just promising Fiona that would never happen man, she’s got kids to support.” He didn’t let himself acknowledge the pity he heard in Iggy’s voice.

He held himself up as straight as he could before turning on his heal and leaving. It was 4 days before he saw his sister or best friend again.

 

******

 

Ian>>> Coward; a person who is contemptibly lacking in the courage to do or endure dangerous or unpleasant things.

Ian>>> last text… let my sister know how much you spent Saturday night so I can send you half… I’m nobody’s whore

 

He wanted to answer Ian’s text but that would just make him a hypocrite. His behavior, the way he had ended whatever they may have had by text was cowardly and his heart ached over the way he had treated him.

He felt at war with himself again, the feeling of taking back control of his life, of fighting the feelings that were so foreign to him but at the same time the most exhilarating of his life. 

The moment he had hit send he’d regretted it. Memories of their night together flashed through his head on repeat and froze him in his place. And while the sex had been amazing, the best he’d ever had there was more too it. A fuck ton more than just sexual chemistry. 

Five years may have separated them but the way they had clicked, the companionship and the mental connection he had felt it was like finding a part of himself that had been missing and he’d never even realized. 

He had told himself he was doing the right thing over and over and made a point of telling Iggy before he’d done it. He didn’t want Ian to hate him and told Iggy to let Fiona know this wouldn’t affect her job and he would keep his distance from the shop. She’d been loyal and had 4 younger siblings at home to support. They’d developed a friendship he’d never allowed himself to have outside of his family and now he felt like he’d betrayed her too.

He nearly threw himself off the bed now as restless energy started to course through him. Half his mind wanted to run to the shop and take back what he’d sent Ian and part of him just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

He had to do something, he needed to feel centered before he did something stupid again that he’d regret without taking his time and weighing up all his options so he got down on the floor and started doing sit ups. 

They hurt. They really fucken hurt after neglecting his work outs for weeks now but he felt a compulsion to go on. He barely made it to 50 before he felt the strain across his abs so he turned himself around and started doing push ups. He quickly lost count of these but went on until his shoulders and arms burned. 

Sweat running into his eyes he half walked half staggered to the bathroom and had a long hot shower. The heat running over his sore shoulders was relaxing and helped him to calm down, to think more clearly than he had since this whole Ian business began.

Why did it take him making such a giant ass mistake to realize what he was throwing away? He never had this problem with business but somehow when it came to these new fucked up feelings he was having, well he couldn’t know everything. 

He’d never been taught to care about anyone outside of his family and even with them he’d never felt any of the fucked-up shit he felt for Ian. He could party with his brothers, spend hours working with his brothers and even had good memories of being stuck in a car with one of more of his brothers when they had to survive going on runs for days at a time but he never felt compelled to be with them.

Even with Mandy it was another level of feeling yet again. He knew he loved her, more so than his brothers but it felt more paternal, fatherly and the need to always protect her felt borderline obsessive even to him but wanting to spend more time with her than was necessary, fuck no.

When it came to Ian he was at a loss. The way he’d felt when he’d dropped him home was on a whole new level. Who in their right mind would want to spend all their time with just one person, to keep that person locked away and only for themselves? Were his feelings normal or was this just another way for the universe to fuck up his life more? And how the fuck did all this shit run through his head in the time it took him to shower.

He dried himself of and got dressed, putting on the first pair of shorts he found and one of the numerous t shirts he owned as he realized he needed to speak to someone. Someone he could trust that wouldn’t judge him too harshly. Someone that could understand where he was coming from and hopefully wouldn’t laugh at the way he was feeling. Someone that wasn’t family but maybe cared enough to help him work through all this shit.

His train of thought was broken by a knocking on his door. He really didn’t want to answer it. Preferring to wallow in self-pity and the unknown but the knocking came again so he automatically walked over and answered it.

He was met by a smiling Fiona Gallagher. She lifted both hands up to show him she was holding a few joints in one and a bottle of Jack in the other. “Yes, you fucked up but I also know it’s not what you want so I’m here as your friend.” She barged past him without waiting for a response.

Was she fucken psychic!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey makes his first real friend outside of his family, then him and Iggy go out on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really hate dialogue so I beg you all forgive me if I've fucked it up. I hope its not hard to understand and it's from Fiona's POV.
> 
> Thank you all again for sticking by me and your continued support and amazing comments.

She knew she was taking a risk turning up at the Milkovich house uninvited but at the same time Fiona Gallagher didn’t back down from a challenge. She didn’t give Iggy or Mandy a chance to stop her even if they looked half terrified by her unexpected arrival looking like she was there on a mission. 

She marched past them and straight to Mickey’s door and proceeded to knock until he answered. “Yes, you fucked up but I also know it’s not what you want so I’m here as your friend.” She barged past him without waiting for a response.

She briefly checked where Mickey was after plonking herself down on his bed and lighting up a joint. He seemed dumbstruck, hand still attached to his door knob so she just ignored him. She had a few pulls then held out the joint to him without making eye contact. After she felt it leave her fingers she cracked the bottle of Jack, took a big gulp and sat it down on his bed side table. 

Without giving him too much time to think now that she’d settled herself she decided to try and take control. “Close the door Mick, I’m here as your friend whether we talk or just sit here and get wasted.” She hoped that was blunt enough for him, he was staring at her like a deer in headlights. 

He looked like he was biting or chewing on his bottom lip deep in thought when he eventually closed his bedroom door. She watched him out the corner of her eye not wanting to spook him as he slowly approached the bottle of Jack she’d sat down on his bed side table. His movements were slow as he picked the bottle up and unscrewed the lid and took a really big swig of it.

She noticed a small dribble of whiskey fall from the corner of his mouth that he wiped with the back of his hand. He still seemed uncertain of what he should do when all of a sudden, he moved swiftly and sat next to her but kept his eyes trained on his door.

They sat in quietness for another minute or so before he reached for his smokes lighting up two and handing her one before he spoke, voice barely audible. “I fucked up.” 

She decided not to respond to what he’d said as he hadn’t really asked a question, merely made a statement. She’d wait till he asked her directly and just sit in the continued silence until he was ready to say more.

She felt his eyes on hers and took it as an ok to look back at him directly. His eyes somehow seemed lost, uncertain as he spoke again a little bit louder. “I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.” He put his smoke to his mouth inhaling and blowing it out his nose as he spoke again. “Why the fuck are you even here after what I did to your brother?”

Making sure to keep her voice calm now that he’d asked her a question. “Yes, you did hurt my brother and for that I’m pissed with you but I’m also your friend and I know you have no idea what you’re doing. I also know you both have feelings for each other, deep feelings I think and all this shit is new for the both of you.” She still wanted him to know he’d done wrong by Ian but the way she’d seen them look at each other at Ian’s party, she knew whatever was between them was more than just a fuck.

She decided to just put it out there when he didn’t deny what she’d said. “Look, I’m not here to judge you or tell you what to do. I’m here because I thought you might like the company and if you do decide to ask my advice then I’m here for that too. I know you’re not really a talker and fuck knows I never take my own advice which I’m sure you can tell from my past fucked up relationships but I’ve been told I’m good giving it.” She really hoped that would put him at ease a bit more.

Suddenly she realized it may have been more. “Or maybe you just want to talk out any confusion you’re having dealing with all these new feelings and thoughts I can see are floating round your head. I already know you’re the type who likes to be in control and that’s not a bad thing, it’s done more for your family than your father ever did. You’ve given your brothers and sister a life us south siders only dream of having and you should be proud.” This time she risked placing her hand lightly on his arm and he smiled softly back at her.

After taking another drink he started to seem a bit more himself. The natural aura of confidence he usually projected was coming back through as he spoke. “I’ve never been with anyone longer than it took to bang them and I’m already fucken 22. Never felt drawn to anyone for more than that but with Ian, fuck!” He ran his hand through his hair and lit up another smoke. “It’s like I want to spend time with him, all my time and I feel this connection with him. I don’t know how the fuck to deal with it ya know?” 

She felt like he thought she had all the right answers then and there and if she did she wouldn’t be single now herself. He surprisingly spoke again which she hadn’t expected.

“It’s effecting my business, making me feel fucken weak and paranoid.” He was suddenly on his feet and pacing while he spoke a bit louder than before clearly irritated. “My whole life I’ve been the one in control, I run the family business and I don’t know how or even if I can separate all this shit!” 

He stopped in front of her now and she found herself speechless, like her mouth forgot how to work. “What the fuck is wrong with your mouth?” He snapped at her while moving a hand in front of her face.

Without thinking before she spoke she blurted out, “Fuck Mickey, I just… I really wasn’t expecting you to open up to me like that and it threw me.” She quickly continued when his cheeks reddened a little. “Not that it’s a bad thing or anything, just unexpected.”

When he stayed rooted to the spot in front of her, eyes staring at something above her head she took hold of his arm and pulled him back onto the bed next to her and shoved the bottle back into his hands.

The silence seemed to hang heavy between them as they passed the bottle back and forth. She wasn’t sure what to say or do now after the shock of hearing Mickey open up. She decided to give him a nudge with her elbow into his side making him look up at her. “Wanna watch something and get totally shit faced?” She grinned at him pulling a small smile out of him.

“I really fucked up and I have no fucken idea how to fix this shit. He probably won’t even speak to me again.” His expression appeared pleading but his voice now sounded even.

“I know all this emotional shit is knew to you but you don’t have to change who you are for Ian. You just have to learn to maybe open up a bit to him, take your time and remember he knew who you were before you two hooked up. Even you taking him away and spoiling him. Sometimes actions speak louder than words and I’m sure Mandy would have spoken about you to him, the rumors/stories about you and your family are well known and to be honest with you before I realized you had feelings for him I warned him off you.”

“Ya did?” He asked playfully.

“Come on, in this area seeing my gay brother crushing on someone with your rep, I’m sure you’d do the same for Mandy and I love nothing more than good gossip and I’ve never heard even a whisper that you might be gay too.” She couldn’t help but rest her hand on his arm reassuringly.

“But what if I can’t ya know, ‘talk’ to him about this shit?”

“You’re doing a good job with me. Surprised the fuck out of me when you did.”

“It nearly fucken killed me but at the same time I feel this weird ass connection with you too. Like you’re probably the first friend I’ve ever fucken had besides my brothers but this is still uncomfortable as fuck.” He indicated between them.

“I know how you feel Mickey. I talk to a lot of people but the only real friends I have are Kev and Veronica and now you too. Same goes for Ian. Mandy’s his only real friend.” She leant over him to get another smoke.

He sounded a bit panicked now when he spoke. “Um Fiona, I know Ian’s your brother and all but can we keep this between us?”

She knew what he meant and pointed between them. “Me and you, what happens and is said between us is only between us but if you hurt my brother again I will kick your fucken ass! But never, and I mean fucken never speak to me about you and my brother… fuck I can’t even say it.” She shivered when she spoke.

He laughed at what she’d said. “No worries, I’d rather cut my fucken ears off than hear about Mandy’s sex life.” That made them both laugh now.

“Just try and take it slow with Ian. I’m not gonna bullshit you, I know you’re a domineering and controlling person and I’m pretty sure you can be a possessive fucker too but you don’t need to change who you are. Being what you are has only made your family’s life a fuck ton better than it would have been and made you the person that Ian fell for and believe me, you rub Ian the wrong way and he’ll let you know real fast.” He was looking down at the floor by the time she finished speaking.

“But what if he does forgive me but then I fuck up again when I feel like I’m losing control?”

“That’s something you have to work on yourself. Your work and family is one part of your life, you and me is another and you and Ian is another part too. Work on it slowly till you find a balance and learn to keep it all separate. You have to if you really want this to work with Ian and not feel like you’re losing yourself. You can always talk to me too if you start feeling overwhelmed again before you do something stupid.” She punched him hard on the shoulder. 

He rubbed his arm and pulled a face. “Ow, fuck Fiona that hurt!”

“Suck it up Milkovich, now why don’t you text my brother and fix this shit up!” She smirked while ordering him.

“Fucken fine!” He snarled back at her and picked up his phone.

Mickey>>> Hey I fucked up. can we meet up and talk?? 

His phone chimed back nearly immediately.

The recipient you are sending to has chosen to not receive messages from this number:

“Fuck!” He yelled and smashed his fist onto his side table and looked back at Fiona angrily. 

“What! What!” Ian must be really pissed she thought.

He exhaled loudly. “Fucker blocked my number. Guess I deserved that hay.”

Fiona stood up and got her phone out the pocket of her jeans and sent Ian a text herself.

Fiona>>> You home?

Ian>>> Nope… be back in a few days… staying over at Aidens

Fiona>>> I need you to babysit Liam later tonight

Ian>>> Sorry Fi… need some time away… turning my phone off now

She quickly dialed his number hoping he hadn’t turned his phone off already but it was too late.

“Fuck Mickey I’m sorry. He said he won’t be home for a few days and turned his phone off.” She felt bad now after making Mickey text him.

“Say where he’s staying?” He spoke too calmly. She could tell he was holding in his anger. 

“Aiden, one of his and Mandy’s north side sort of friends.” Fuck.

Fiona jumped as Mickey sprung off the bed and out his bedroom door calling out to Mandy at the top of his voice. “Mandy! Mandy!” His voice echoed through this house as Fiona quickly followed after him.

“Yeah Mick?” She answered him coming out of the kitchen.

Mickey stopped suddenly and Fiona walked straight into him but he didn’t seem to notice. “I need you to ring or fucken text this Aiden friend of yours and find out where he lives… make us some bullshit about wanting to go over!” He barked at her.

“Why?” She nervously responded.

“Cause I fucked up ok and Ian is over there, turned off his fucken phone and I need to see him NOW! Fuck, and make sure he thinks everything is cool ok, you just wanna to do whatever the fuck you guys do!” His started pacing again and rubbing a hand down his face as Mandy went back into the kitchen.

Fiona followed Mandy into the kitchen so she could hear the conversation clearly, at least Mandy’s side of it.

Fuck she was good, Fiona thought as she listened to Mandy on the phone. “Hey boyfriend whatcha doing... Really, fucken assholes partying without me… Yeah, yeah, I’m wasted too… Haha very funny, now text me your fucken address and I’ll come straight over… Fuck yeah, well don’t have it all before I get there… love you too.” 

Mandy looked at Fiona with a proud look on her face and not 30 seconds later her phone chimed with the address. She watched her type something in then Mickey’s phone chimed. “Sent it to ya Mick!” 

“Oy Iggy, grab some of those zip ties and get ready!” Mickey now charged back into his room throwing the door closed.

“Iggy? He’s gonna go kidnap my brother isn’t he?” Was it strange that she thought it was sort of romantic in a weird kind of south side way, she asked him amused.

He strolled past her smirking and headed down to the basement coming back up a minute or two later as Mickey came back out his room dressed in dark jeans and a black t-shirt.

He looked angry/happy if that was a thing she thought as he checked his pockets then spoke to her. “Do me a favor aye, take Mandy back to yours for a few days.”

“As long as you promise not to hold my brother hostage for too long against his will.” She said excitedly but not quite sure if she should be before turning to Mandy. “Come on then Mandy, go pack a bag while I pack up these here joints.” She looked back to Mickey challengingly.

 

******

 

Mickey and Iggy sat in their car in one of those long round driveways that goes from one end of the house to the other and circles around so you can drive back out without reversing smoking probably their third or fourth smoke since arriving and watching the fucken mansion in front of them. 

The lights at the front of the house were on low and it seemed quiet inside but from the side of the house leading out the back they could hear music and people talking loudly. It felt like old times to Mickey sitting in a dark car and staking out a house before breaking in. 

Fuck it he thought deciding he was ready and silently getting out the car knowing Iggy would follow. He put out his smoke on the manicured lawn as they walked slowly to the side of the house to check for a quiet way in.

Rich fucks had left the side gate wide open probably for the guest to let themselves in and not thinking of who else would walk right through it, but that suited them just fine. Made their work a lot easier.

When they rounded the house, they saw about 25-30 people all male and mostly twinks Mickey smirked to himself. They appeared to be sitting in outdoor chairs in front of a pool house talking over each other, a few were swimming and a few were in front of some tables. There was some type of buffet set up happening. As they got closer he could see three tables, one with various alcoholic drinks, glasses and a big bucket of ice, one with a few platters of food and the last one made his mouth water.

It was a high-end junkie paradise. He made out two flat bowls half filled with what he was sure was coke, a couple of mirrors with thin cards on them and lines already racked up and what appeared to be a large clear salad bowl filled to the top with joints. 

He couldn’t see Ian anywhere yet as he scanned the crowd and decided they may as well partake in some of the beautifully laid out party favors. 

He turned to his brother alongside him and had to struggle to contain his laughter. Iggy’s jaw was nearly on his chest, drool slowly dripping down one side and his eyes nearly popping out his head as he focused directly at the table full of drugs.

He nudged him hard in the ribs to get his attention. “You turn gay or something else caught your eye?” He grinned at him, mischief in his eyes.

“Fuckkk… please tell me I can have a taste before we look for Ian man?” He begged him.

Mickey was nothing if not a good brother. “Course we can, just try and blend in and don’t pocket any of the drugs until we’re on our way out.”

They casually strutted their way over to the tables smiling at the other people around them. They stopped in front of the mirror that had the most lines on it and each of them picked up a short straw from an expensive looking plate. They then took turns snorting up the high quality coke, enjoying a few lines each.

When they were both done they looked at each other, both had huge ass smiles on their faces and Mickey felt himself giggle. Fucken giggle, he thought to himself too high to be embarrassed. It must have been contagious cause Iggy answered his giggle with one of his own.

Definitely getting Ian to bring me back here even if I have to put up with all these twinks around he thought to himself as he reached into the bowl of joints and took a few for both himself and Iggy. He needed at least one or two to take the edge off before he went looking for Ian. 

They moved off to the side of the people just out of reach of being pulled into any conversations and smoked two joints each quickly. He really didn’t want to be here any longer than necessary and he still had to find Ian. 

“You ready?” Iggy nodded to him. “We go inside, you go left and I’ll go right. You spot Ian come look for me before he sees you if you can and if I find him I’ll come look for you. Probably take both of us to cuff him and drag the fucker out if he won’t come on his own. He’s a strong son of a bitch so watch it but try not to hurt him or Fiona will have our balls.” He waited for Iggy to nod again, clearly off his fucken face then led the way inside.

He watch Iggy head left to make sure he remembered which direction he had to go and saw him head into a kitchen area then he went right into a large living room with huge comfy lounges and a big screen TV which was playing music.

He scanned the room but couldn’t see Ian. There seemed to be more people than he originally thought here as the room was nearly half full. He headed in, smile back on his face and looked around again. At the back of the room was a corridor and he spotted the unmistakable color of Ian’s hair following someone into a room.

Fuck! Shit! He swore in his head and ran back the other way to get Iggy. He found him stuffing something into his pocket, he’d deal with him later then slapped him over the back of the head to get his attention. “Fucken move!” He snarked at him.

They moved swiftly back through the living room and up the corridor to the room he’d seen Ian enter. He slowly opened the door and hoped to fuck he didn’t find Ian banging someone else.

He didn’t. He wasn’t. He was completely alone sitting in a fucken arm chair and glaring daggers at the door as him and Iggy entered closing it behind them. 

Ian clapped his hands at him a few times like he was applauding him before he spoke. “Well aren’t you fucken clever hmmm? You really think Aiden wouldn’t have told me that my best fucken friend was on her way here?” He leant back in the chair and folded his arms across his chest and continued to glare.

He couldn’t help the tone of his voice after hearing the animosity in Ian’s. “Maybe if you didn’t block my fucken number I wouldn’t have had to come here looking for ya!”

Ian was on his feet striding across the room but stopped a foot before reaching him anger radiating from his body. He felt Iggy’s arm reach across his chest as he moved next to him in a defensive stance. “What tha fuck do you want then Mickey!”

He rubbed a hand across his face wiping off the spittle that had flown out of Ian’s mouth as he said his name. He realized they were gonna have to go with the zip ties. No fucken way would he be able to reason with a furious tweaking Ian. He subtly nodded to Iggy giving him the signal they’d used for years then they both jumped him pushing him back onto the bed and holding him down.

Mickey managed to get onto his chest and hold the top of him down but he copped repeated knees to the back from Ian’s long fucken legs. Iggy quickly had his hands restrained, years of practice then he moved to Ian’s legs and straddled them.

“You right there Mick?” They were back to back now with a thrashing Ian underneath. He grunted back to him then heard Ian’s shoes dropping to the floor. Iggy was nearly as quick with Ian’s ankles as he was with his wrists. 

“You really think this is gonna work aye! I can still yell for help even if I can’t fucken move!” Before he said anything back to Ian Iggy surprised him by wrapping a ball gag around Ian’s head and smirking at him.

He shook his head looking up at his brother. “You didn’t tell me what a kinky fucker you were.”

“We can go out that sliding door Mick, no need to go through boystown to get out.” Iggy was having a ball. It’d been ages since they had to do their own dirty work.

“Go get your fucken goody bags and make it fucken snappy!” Iggy flew out the door leaving them alone. 

He kept his weight heavy on Ian but couldn’t help himself and caressed his face softly. “Look, I’m sorry ok. I fucked up alright.” Ian turned away from him clearly not ready to listen.

It didn’t take long for Iggy to get back and he’d obviously had a few more lines for the trip home. He helped him get Ian upright and over his shoulder, the asshole was heavy and kept wiggling the whole way to the car. They were able to go out the sliding door in the bedroom and make it to the car without being noticed luckily. 

They had to work to get Ian in the back seat and straighten him out. “You gonna behave for the drive home or do I have to strap you down?” Mickey asked him already knowing the answer as Ian flipped him the bird so the wrapped the seat belts around him so he could hardly move and drove home hoping they didn’t get pulled over.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drugs, handcuffs & revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Way too much cocaine use but it helps with stamina. I've gone back into the zone I'm most scared of writing...SMUT. Please let me know if you like it or I've fucked it up.
> 
> I can't thank everyone enough for your support, it encourages me to keep going. 
> 
> I love getting your kudos and comments so I know you're enjoying my work.

 

 

“Would you stopped fucken giggling and help me you useless piece of shit!” Mickey whisper yelled at his extremely wasted brother unable to get Ian out the car by himself.

A deep voice suddenly boomed in Mickeys ear. “Oy, what’s going on here?” Mickey spun around so fast he lost his footing and nearly face planted but still went down hard.

Fucken sneaky ass brothers, he’d kill one of them one day. “You nearly gave me a fucken heart attack Jamie, now help me the fuck up asshole.” He ordered his brother even though he was already pulling him up.

He watched as Jamie stuck his head in the back seat of the car for a look. “You fuck up already Mick? Or you guys acting out one of those weird kidnapped sex fantasies.” His brother pulled his head back out the car smirking at him.

He got up in his face and growled, “Yes I fucked up ok now help me get his coked-up ass in the house and I’ll drag the other one in.” He looked over to Iggy who was now laying on the bonnet of the car eyes fixated on the night sky.

Jamie easily pulled Ian out the back seat and carried him over his shoulder like he was nothing strolling casually into the house. Giant ass brothers were useful for some things at least he thought as he slapped Iggy over the head to get his attention then dragged him into the house too.

“Where you want him?” Jamie asked calmly like this was an every day thing. 

“Put him on my bed but be careful. Don’t just dropped him and face up.” Fuck, he’d have to deal with Ian shortly.

“Hey bro…” He heard Iggy calling him. “Gonna line up again you in?” Fucker was still giggling. Happened every time he took coke.

He ignored him while he watched Jamie surprisingly gentle lay Ian out on the bed then come back out the room. “Oh my fucken god… where’d you get all that!” Jamie exclaimed while moving fast over to the dining table salivating while Mickey followed.

Mickey’s eye brows climbed so high they nearly left his forehead. “Are you fucken kidding! You take everything they had!?” Iggy gave him a big ass smile that quickly dropped when he saw how pissed Mickey was. He had at least $4000 worth of coke in front of him and another bag next to it with too many joints to count.

“You said I could take some goody bags Mick.” He sounded like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

He’d had enough, his own high starting to drop. “Fine. I want to be alone with Ian so leave me half the fucken joints and a quarter of the coke then you can take all that other shit over to Jamie and Joeys and share like a good boy ok.”

Jamie nearly knocked him over getting to the other side of the table to help Iggy gather up the drugs and tip out half the bag of joints onto the table then he got a plate from the kitchen and tipped a load of coke on it. They hardly ever did anything hard these days, he didn’t let them unless it was a special occasion but he just wanted them both gone now and it was already too late for Iggy so they may as well all enjoy it, was free.

Jamie stopped and turned back around before going out the front door. “Why’s your boy wearing a ball gag, you into the whole bondage shit too.” He didn’t want to think what ‘too’ meant.

He charged at him like a bull which pushed them both out the door and nearly down the stairs then he marched back in and slammed the front door behind him.

He walked briskly past his open bedroom door hoping Ian didn’t see him. Now he was here he had no fucken idea what to do or say to him. He snatched one of the joints off the table deciding to smoke it before he had to deal with Ian and hoped his 3 brothers didn’t OD on all that coke. He probably should have kept most of it here but it was too fucken late now. He lined himself up a few lines while he thought of how to approach Ian. 

He felt himself drifting, his mind buzzing but mellow from the joint. He found himself studying the fridge. It was too fucken white and looked weird with the freezer on the bottom. Why the hell had he let Iggy pick such an assup fridge he’d never fucken know but he wanted to go out right this minute and buy a new one it annoyed him so much. One of those shiny silver ones that made ice in the fucken door. He pulled his phone out his pocket to check the time. Fuck he was too late, the shops would be closed.

He got up to exam it closer opening both the doors. It was nearly full but at least half was beer. Did he want a beer? Why the fuck was he standing in front of the fridge with the doors open, was cold. He took a bottle of water and started to drink it when he heard a smash coming from somewhere in the house.

Fuck Ian! He ran to his room worried something had happened and found Ian laying with his feet up the top of the bed and his bedside lamp broken on the floor. 

Ignoring the lamp, he launched himself onto the bed straddling Ian and checking him for any damage. “Fuck babe you ok? What happened? Was having a drink… you hurt? Ian?” Fuck he was so worried and Ian just lay there not saying a fucken word while he touched him everywhere making sure he was ok.

Ian started thrashing under him making it difficult. He was making noises but not taking. He held his face still holding onto the side of his face and pressing his weight into him. “MMMMMM” Ian was making bizarre noises at him. 

“OH, FUCK ME!” No wonder Ian couldn’t talk. He had a ball gag in his mouth. He reached around the back of his head undoing it and took it off him. Ian was moving his mouth in funny positions and he couldn’t help but laugh.

He was so fucken hard now he couldn’t help rutting against him. The feel of Ian beneath him was intoxicating. When he felt Ian’s hips pushing up into him he crashed his lips down hard onto his pushing his tongue deep into Ian’s mouth desperate to taste him.

Ian sucked on his tongue drawing it in as deep as it could go till it started to hurt. His mouth suctioned him so tightly he thought he may be whimpering when suddenly Ian let go but continued to rut against him. He couldn’t read the look on Ian’s face, it seemed to flicker between lust and kill and it was making him even harder if that was possible.

“You wanna fuck me Mickey…” He sighed.

“Fuck yes, want you so bad babe.” His mouth began to water.

“Go get the coke then I might let you do what you want.” 

He nearly fell over his own feet desperate to do Ian’s bidding grabbing all the drugs he could hold and rushing back. All he could think was Ian still wanted him.

“Ya gonna untie me…hmmm. Want you so bad.” Ian purred at him.

He wanted him too but that look on Ian’s face? He couldn’t shake the feeling that if he untied him it wouldn’t end well and it was turning him on no end.

He turned Ian on his side offering him the lines he’d made for him and holding a straw to his nose. His pupils dilated even more if that was possible. He pulled him up the right way on the bed and tried to wrap his mind around what was happening. He pushed the broken bits of lamp against the wall and took off both his shoes. 

“You owe me a new pair of shoes asshole!” That sounded like kill. 

That look in Ian’s eyes… he couldn’t trust him. He remembered when he’d restrained him to bring him home and it had taken him and Iggy to hold him down, that he’d been angry with him. He couldn’t let him go, not until he was sure Ian really wanted him back but it was hard to read him while they were both so high.

“You don’t trust me, do you?” 

How the fuck was he supposed to answer that. “Soon as I let you go you’ll leave, run back to your rich fuck boys.” He couldn’t help but snap.

“You seem to forget MICKEY, it was only hours ago, maybe more, I have no fucken idea what time it is that you ended this, whatever the fuck this is. I can fuck who I want when I want and you have no say.” He spat at him.

Fuck he had to fix this. Just hearing Ian talk about fucking other guys was doing his head in. “Fucken fine, I’m not letting you go but I’ll let you fuck me. You happy now!”

“Was my turn anyway, what else you got?” It was working, he could see the hunger back in his eyes.

He bent back down kissing him along his jaw till he got to the shell of his ear and sucked on it gently. He whispered in his ear, “I’m sorry babe, Ian. I freaked out and I hurt you. This shit is all new to me and I want you so bad…please.” He couldn’t believe he was begging.

“You got cuffs?” Ian was breathing heavily.

“What?”

“You’re scared I’ll get away if you untie me so cuff me to the bed or cuff us together and let me fuck you. I might even forgive you if you behave and let you fuck me again. Feel how hard I am for you Mickey.” His voice was really fucking with his cock.

He put his hand on Ian’s crotch, he wasn’t lying now. He was rock hard against his hand and moaned when he squeezed him through his jeans.

“Fuck, wait there.” Ian laughed at him when he got off the bed. 

He was gone and back in less than a minute, a pair of handcuffs and a hunting knife in his hands. Ian’s eyes nearly popped out his head. “They’re for the ties not you ya dick.” He smirked.

He rolled Ian onto his stomach before putting the cuffs on one wrist then securing it to his bed head. He cut off the wrist ties then the ankle ties. He pulled Ian up by the hips and quickly got his belt off and undid his jeans pulling them down with his boxers to his knees then pushed him flat to get them the rest of the way off. 

He felt like he was now moving in fast motion, the drugs flowing through his body, his senses so heightened he thought he might come before getting his own clothes off. He nearly strangled himself getting his top off and shucked off his pants nearly falling.

“You like this top?” He didn’t wait for an answer before picking up the knife and making a tear then ripped it off Ian’s body making him giggle.

Ian pulled himself onto his knees, left wrist cuffed to the top of the bed head. “Get the lube and get the fuck over here now.” 

Mickey bit his tongue not liking to be ordered but fuck his cock was leaking and right now he’d do anything to make Ian happy so he did as he was told. 

The second he was close enough Ian grabbed his hair pulling him into a harsh kiss full of teeth and tongues fighting for dominance. Their bodies so close, their cocks rubbing against each other. It was sloppy and hungry and he wanted more. He tasted blood but neither of them seemed to care. 

He pulled back needing to touch Ian’s body. He ran his hands over his torso then his back and sucked on his neck putting more marks alongside the ones that were starting to fade. He slid his hands down till he reached his ass and squeezed it hard making Ian groan and wishing he could be the one to fuck him senseless but he’d wait his turn. 

Ian was panting, “Mick stop, you’re gonna make me come.” 

This was it fuck, his body breaking into a sweat as he turned around and bent over giving Ian space to prep him. He spread his legs as he heard the sound of the lube bottle opening then felt it dribble generously down his crack and tickling his balls. He forced himself to stay put hating the subservient position he felt he was in.

He shuddered when he felt Ian’s cold wet finger prodding at his sensitive hole. He pushed one finger into him gently then slowly started to move it in and out of him for maybe a minute. He wasn’t sure if he liked it or not but it sure as fuck felt strange. 

Ian pulled his finger back out when it began to slide in easier and he heard the lube again. This time he felt him pour some onto his lower back making him wiggle his ass.

Ian rubbed his hip gently. “Sorry but I’ve only got one hand.”

He nodded his head as he felt 2 fingers breach him. He felt a slight burn and was glad Ian was being so generous with the lube. He felt his long fingers going further into him than before, felt himself being stretched and he found he liked it. Ian was feeling around inside him pulling his fingers apart and rubbing them against his inner walls making him open up more. 

He let out a deep moan when he felt Ian graze his prostate. He rubbed his fingers over it repeatedly making him pant and squirm under his touch. He was about to ask him to stop, the stimulation becoming too much when he felt Ian pull out but he knew more was to come. 

He felt Ian run his fingers through the lube on his lower back then slowly began to push 3 fingers inside him. The burn was back but Ian went straight for his prostate again but only grazed it lightly while parting his fingers and opening him up more. It was just enough pleasure to make him forget the pain. Ian fucked into him now with his fingers until he felt himself lean back onto them wanting more.

This time when Ian pulled out he moved him directly in front of him, just enough room for him to fit with Ian’s wrist still cuffed. He pushed his head down onto the bed then pulled his ass higher into the air. He tried to move his chest back up but when he felt Ian’s cock touch his entrance and it made him freeze. 

Ian slowly pushed the head of his 9 fucken inch cock inside him warm and well lubed, the burn a fuck ton more painful than before but tinged with the slightest edge of pleasure. The further he pushed in the louder Ian moaned above him and he whimpered below. By the time Ian bottomed out he was already a mess gasping below him.

Ian was breathing heavily when he spoke, “Fuck Mick, you have the tightest ass, hmmm.” He grunted back to him unable to form words.

He pulled out halfway then began pushing back in slowly so he could get use to his size, slowly picking up speed and gripping his hip tightly. He began to whimper again when he pierced into him deeper and deeper. 

He hit his head on the head board making Ian stop, they didn’t have a lot of room. He pulled him up so his hands could now hold onto the head board alongside Ian’s cuffed hand. His chest was leaning forward and Ian held onto his shoulder firmly before starting to move again. 

This time Ian fucked into him pulling his cock about a quarter way out before thrusting it back into him hard and deep. He arched his back now meeting Ian’s thrusts until Ian started rolling his hips when he entered him, hitting his prostate and rubbing against it every time he pushed back in.

He writhed and moaned loudly consumed by the pleasure and pain Ian was inflicting on him, the feeling like nothing he’d ever experienced before. Ian pulled him back flush up against him, face in his neck and arm across his chest as he fucked into him faster and harder calling out his name. 

His cock was leaking, desperate for release. His prostate was throbbing from over stimulation. Ian was fucken him so hard he thought he might pass out. He reached down to jerk his cock but Ian slapped his hand away and growled hungrily into his neck before biting down hard enough to draw blood making him come untouched, screaming out Ian’s name as he clenched around Ian’s cock deep inside him and feeling him come hard, filling him as he groaned, hips stuttering as he slowed. 

Ian pulled out slowly still holding him close while kissing and nipping the side of his neck. His missed the feel of him inside him but enjoyed the feel of warm cum running down his thighs.

Resting his head between his hands unable to move he knew he had a problem. A really fucked up problem. He thought the best fuck of his life was when he’d fucked Ian a few days ago but he was wrong. He’d just had the best fuck of his life. 

****** 

Ian had loved bottoming for Mickey but fuck… he’d just had the best fuck of his life. He knew he’d get to do it again, he’d make them take turns to be fair and hope it didn’t cause too many problems with Mickey’s domineering nature. He was prepared to switch if he got to fuck Mickey’s ass on the regular. 

He could feel himself getting hard again just thinking about his cock inside Mickey and they were still in the position they just fucked. He rubbed his cock against Mickey’s leaking hole, sliding inside him slowly as Mickey let out a low moan.

“Mick?” 

“Hmmm?”

“You think maybe you could uncuff me now?” He pulled out then pushed back in again getting the same response.

“Clip, on side of cuffs.” He huffed out.

He opened them and shook out his hand and wrist while keeping his cock inside him feeling Mickey contracting around him. He wasn’t ready for this to end.

He pulled out completely and gently helped Mickey lay down on his stomach. He had a big grin on his face even if he couldn’t move so he thought he’d try his luck.

He straddled the back of Mickey’s thighs and massaged his plump cheeks making sure to pull them apart so he could see his cum covering his newly used hole. Mickey moaned enjoying what he was doing and again he couldn’t help himself.

He slid his cock back inside him eliciting more moans of pleasure from Mickey. It had only been maybe 10 minutes since he’d come but he knew it wouldn’t take long for him to come again. 

He knew Mickey had no energy for more right now so he slid out of him and grabbed 2 pillows happy to do all the work. He gently lifted Mickey’s hips up and put them under him to give him height making the ass he’d fallen in love with pushed up into the perfect position before he went back into his now favorite place.

He didn’t know where to look first. Mickey’s face showing the pleasure he was feeling, his hands clenching the sheets while he moaned or the sight of his cock as it slid in and out of his ass slowly but deeply. 

Between the drugs in his system and the sights before him he was so overstimulated. He leaned over the top of Mickey with his legs kneeling still straddling him and started to speed up but it wasn’t enough. 

He wanted to devour Mickey so he slipped his arms under his shoulders curling his hands back up for leverage and lay flat on his back covering him completely. He couldn’t go as deep in this position but he could pound him into the mattress with abandon, Mickey’s ass still pushed up in the air.

When he felt himself getting close he put his hand under Mickey holding his cock tight and jerked him off in time with his thrusts. As he felt his orgasm taking over he fucked him as hard as he could pushing him over the edge just after him, Mickey crying out loudly beneath him.

Still catching his breath, he heard Mickey mutter “heavy” so he got off him and the bed needing water and hoped no one had come home as walked naked to the kitchen finding the fridge and freezer doors open and took a few bottles of water back to the room after closing them. 

He admired Mickey’s body now star fished on the bed and wanted to ride his ass again and soon but now it was Mickey’s turn.

“Hey Mick, sit up and have a drink, we’ve got a long night ahead of us.” He looked deeply into the one eye he could see and couldn’t help but lick his lips with desire. 

He sat himself on the bed making lines of coke for them both knowing it was gonna be a long night even if he had to do all the work. He snorted one line in each nostril then turned around to Mickey who was now sitting upright drinking and watching him.

“Well?” 

“Well what?” Mickey smirked at him.

“Hurry up and snort this already, I’m gonna ride your cock in like 10 minutes.” He sniggered as Mickey pulled himself to the edge of the bed in obvious pain but lust written all over his face. 

Their highs taking over again they kissed till their lips were swollen then Ian held himself over him facing away from him enjoying the feeling of Mickey’s fingers working him open while he teased his cock with his tongue. 

They lost count of how many times they’d fucked passing out long after the sun had risen the next day both with their limbs tangled together, their bodies bruised all over, marked with bites and hickeys and covered in dry cum.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain. Shock. Pride. Claiming. Insecurities. Manipulation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNINGS** Manipulation & unsafe sex.
> 
> I’m embarrassed to say that my ex and I woke the same way as I’ve written Mickey and Ian after we had way too much coke and ended up with a life changing event.  
> If the outcome of rough sex and extreme marking is not for you then don’t read this chapter. If anyone is uncomfortable with any type of manipulation don’t read this chapter.  
> Both manipulation and rough sex were tagged from the beginning of this story so I hope I don’t offend anyone but I also needed this to happen for an outcome further in the story and wanted to keep with the domineering & possessive way I’ve portrayed Mickey. Just because he opened up to Fiona does not change a person’s personality or make them more open to someone else overnight. Change takes time and only if the person is willing. 
> 
> As always thank you to everyone for your support, kudos and comments. They truly mean a lot to me xox

 

 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been awake, wasn’t even sure if he was conscious or trapped in a dream. He knew he was on his back unable to move with Ian laying half on top of him nearly smothering him with his head on his chest, arm thrown across his stomach and one of his legs flung across both of his so yeah, he could be fucken dreaming but why would he dream about pain too he thought.

He tried but he couldn’t open his eyes, was like they were glued shut. He must have been in a fight or something he thought cause when he brought his hand up to his face to rub his eyes it was a struggle to lift his arm. His eyes felt all crusty as he dug his fingers into them and forced one of his eyelids open then the other.

Fuck I’m a gremlin, popped into his head as the sun was shining into his room literally burning his eyeballs and it wasn’t even touching him. He must have only had a few hours’ sleep cause he was sure the sun was up when they both passed out. 

His ass ached, his legs ached, his arms ached, fuck… his whole fucken body ached including his dick. He felt like he’d gone 10 rounds with all 3 of his brothers then Mandy finished him off by kicking him in the dick. It also didn’t help that he could only remember parts of what had gone down between him and Ian.

He could remember everything from the time he’d brought Ian home until the time Ian had ridden his cock. After that he vaguely recalled more drugs and different ways he’d fucked Ian but couldn’t remember anything as a whole. He hoped it came back to him as he didn’t want to miss anything he’d done with Ian ever, especially if he was in this much fucken pain after. 

He knew Ian had topped the first 2 times which had blown his fucken mind and scared the shit out of him at the same time. He loved the feeling of dominating Ian sexually but the intensity of his orgasms when he’d bottomed were the best he’d ever had. He wasn’t gonna share that with Ian though, he’d always thought of bottoming as a submissive position so it just didn’t sit right with him. 

The images he vaguely recalled were all of him topping and fucking Ian in every position he could think of but not the whole act. Was probably why he ached all over now. He’d never spent a whole night with someone, maybe bang a guy or 2 in one night at a club but that was it. As much as he loved fucking on coke he wished they hadn’t just so he could recall their night in full.

His bedroom also fucken smelled. Was a mixture of sweat and cum and fuck knows what else but he really wanted a shower now then to crash for a good few hours in nice clean sheets. He was also desperate for water, no doubt he was dehydrated and his mouth felt like it forgot how to produce saliva it was so fucken dry. He would have to uncoil Ian’s body that was wrapped so tightly and heavy on his before he died of thirst then try and wake Ian up too so they could clean up.

He was able to pushed Ian off him but fuck it hurt. He still couldn’t see properly but from what he could see of Ian he looked like he’d been in a fight too and he hoped like fuck they hadn’t been. Last thing he wanted was for them to get violent with each other, he wished he could remember just to know they hadn’t. Ian never stirred he was so deep in sleep.

He pushed himself upright slowly and swung his legs off the bed so he was now sitting. His legs felt like jelly and when he looked down at them he had bruises and bite marks all over his upper thighs. Shit. He used his bedside table to help him stand and fuck it hurt even more. When he felt steady enough he slowly made his way to his bathroom to piss and wash his face.

The four-meter distance felt like twenty by the time he got to his toilet. Fuck, he couldn’t hold his dick to piss it felt so raw and throbbed at the same time when he touched it. Felt like it was partially glued down too. He straddled his toilet so he didn’t piss on the floor and needed to hold onto the back of it to keep himself upright and fuck did he moan at the burn he now felt run out of him.

He moved over to the sink and held onto the vanity looking down the whole time and turned the water on washing his face and having a few handfuls of water. When he was done, he caught his reflection in the mirror. 

“NO FUCKEN WAY!” He said loudly, the sound reverberating off the tiles. What the hell had Ian done to him!

He had a view down to his waist and it shocked the shit out of him. The only part of him unmarked was his face. His neck, shoulders and torso were covered in so many hickeys he looked like a leper. He also had several bite marks on his neck and shoulders that had dried blood on them. 

His upper arms and abdomen had less hickeys but still a lot and when he looked down his hips had finger mark bruises. His stomach, chest and even his thighs had cum dried all over them. He also felt a slight trickle coming from his ass and that’s when he really panicked. He felt to see if it was what he thought it was and his worse fears were confirmed.

He now moved as fast as he painfully could back into the bedroom and scanned the floor for used condoms and wrappers. He found none on his side so he moved around the bed to Ian’s side and fuck, the floor there was condom free too. 

No no no no nope! This couldn’t be happening. Had they been so wasted they’d forgotten to use protection? Highly fucken likely. Fuck! Shit! He had to wake Ian up now, shower and head to a doctor to get the morning after pill for Ian. Did they even do a morning after pill for fucken men? FUCKKK!

He was really starting to freak out and ran back around the bed ignoring the pain and grabbing a joint. Fuck, he needed to calm down and think before waking Ian. He didn’t want to be a mess if Ian lost it and needed him. Oh fuck, there wasn’t even enough coke left to make 1 line, they’d done way too much. Never again! No fucken way! Weed and alcohol only for now on. 

He went to rub a hand down his face, a common trait of his but fuck, lifting one hand to his mouth to smoke was hard enough. He needed calm and to think. Clear his mind and think rationally, try and control this major fuck up as best he could. 

He smoked a second one just staring off into space and trying to relax before going back around the bed to Ian and for the first time noticed the condition their drug fueled night had left him in. Fiona was gonna fucken kill him if Ian didn’t first.

He thought he looked bad but if it was even possible Ian looked worse. His neck was more red than white and his shoulders had not only hickeys and bites marks that had drawn blood but bruising that looked like Ian had been restrained or held down viciously before being attack by a dozen vampires. 

His chest and stomach was covered in hickeys like his but he also had bruises over his waist, hips and all the way down his legs which were clearly from his fingers by the look at them. What the fuck had they done to each other!? His arms weren’t as bad, only a few scattered hickeys but the bruising was nearly as bad as his legs around his wrists. He’d obviously restrained him with his hands.

His stomach didn’t have as much cum on it as his but his inner thighs were covered in it. He really needed to know now, maybe cause he could feel it still trickling it was only him, fuck he wished it was so he rolled Ian over. Fucker didn’t even stir but oh fuck. The back of his shoulders and shoulder blades were also covered in hickeys and bite marks and more bruising around the waist and back of the hips. His ass cheeks hadn’t faired to well either.

He must have been feeling a lot calmer now cause these bruising’s really didn’t freak him out. He actually felt himself smirk just a little, proud even of how he’d claimed Ian and how Ian had claimed him back, but now for the bad part. He’d have to look and see, but suddenly he realized he wasn’t that worried about that either. He was more concerned now that the memories of making all these marks wouldn’t come back to him and would Ian let him mark him up like that again if they were straight? Hmmm…

Bad idea fuck… he was getting hard just thinking about it and the pain was excruciating. Ok, vaginas, vaginas, vaginas… better thank fuck.

He slowly pulled Ian’s legs apart and it was so not looking good. He’d have to look further and he felt like a creep now for what he was gonna do. He hiked one of Ian’s legs up to the side and gently put a finger inside him… shit!

But yet he really didn’t feel so bad… what the fuck was wrong with him!? Was like some type of primal urge was taking over. Some weird form of ownership that would prove to anyone that Ian was completely his and to keep your hands off my property. I claimed his first so don’t fucken touch he’s mine and always will be mine. Would it be so bad if the worst happened? 

Why was he having these fucked up thoughts? A big part of him really didn’t want Ian to find out even with the risks involved. He couldn’t stand the thought of Ian leaving him now that he’d finally accepted how much he wanted him, felt for him and all that shit. 

But the fact was even if their relationship continued, that feelings got even deeper would Ian still leave him next year for WestPoint? Would he be able to deal with Ian leaving him and only coming home once or twice a year if they stayed together? Would Ian leave him for someone else when he wasn’t with him all the time and fuck he couldn’t even bear the thought of spending one second away from him. 

He found himself kneeling down on the floor alongside Ian on the bed and ran his fingers through his hair admiring the face he couldn’t even think of being without. Would Ian hate him if he tried to cover up what had happened? That they’d had unprotected sex and just roll the dice? 

Ian was his now… even Fiona had said Ian fell for him knowing he was a domineering controlling person and she said she was sure he was a possessive fucker too which he was. Would she blame him, think he planned anything if it happened? Accidents happened all the fucken time even using condoms.

Surely Ian would feel it when he stood up and what if he left him, blamed him for forgetting the condoms. He hadn’t meant for it to happen and fuck, Ian had topped first and he didn’t remember them either. He needed a fucken plan. Needed to do something and just take a fucken gamble what the outcome would be. 

He knew it was wrong, had seen enough girls in the neighborhood get knocked up to keep a man and 9 out of 10 times it didn’t work but Ian wasn’t a woman and he wanted to be with him so much that it fucken hurt, didn’t want him to leave him so would it be so bad? Fuck it, he was gonna try and just see what happens but first he needed a fucken drink.

He took his time walking to the kitchen, needed to conserve whatever strength he could find for Ian. He carried back as many bottles of water as he could from off the bench, someone had forgotten to refill the fridge. He made his way slowly back and set them all on his side table and drank a whole on in one go. He got some fresh sheets out the linen cupboard ready to remake the bed then he started the shower and made sure there was lube in there and the lights were off before heading back to get Ian.

He was gonna try and get his ass into the shower as quickly as he could and hope the water covered it up. Ian would be thirsty so he got water first leaving a few bottles in the bathroom then went to tackle Ian. He stood over him for a few seconds breathing deeply before he went in.

He turned him on his back and pulled him around so his legs were off the bed, feet on the floor and the fucker never woke up. He pulled him into his arms and the dead weight nearly knocked him over. Ian wasn’t asleep now but he wasn’t awake either. He was groggy and mumbling but sort of let himself be walked into the bathroom and into the shower. 

He came to a bit more when the water hit his head and shocked the shit out of him. “Hey, hey it’s ok.” He tried to calm him still holding onto him. “We’re fucken filthy man and the sheets stink, can’t fall back asleep.”

Ian leaned against the wall and nodded so he reached out and picked up a bottle of water opening it and got Ian to drink it. He then did something he never thought he’d ever do and he fucken washed him. 

He did Ian’s hair first then his own. He soaped them both up gently as much as he could then he did it again just to be sure. Ian still wasn’t fully with it but he went with whatever he did to him. He nearly cried when he washed his own dick it was so sore and Ian flinched a little when he did his. When he was done, he wrapped Ian’s arms around his neck and just held him under the soothing hot water.

When he felt Ian was fully relaxed, head resting on his shoulder he slowly grasped for the lube behind him and poured a shitload onto his hand and fingers then made his way down to Ian’s ass and gently inserted 2 fingers inside him causing him to squirm.

As he slowly fucked Ian with his fingers he moaned softly and whispered in his ear, “Mickey…hmmm. I think you broke my dick this time, s’not working.” Ian pull his head back to look at him and fuck he wished his own dick could still worked without pain. 

His mouth hung open slightly and he couldn’t quite tell if Ian was feeling ecstasy or pain, maybe both. He pulled his fingers back out and kissed him lightly to distract him as he poured more lube on his fingers before pushing them back in making Ian moan into his mouth as he sucked on his lower lip before slipping his tongue into his mouth softly and kissing him for a few seconds more. 

He’d done the best he could and hoped it was enough, that he’d been able to remove most of the cum still inside Ian and cover it up with the lube. He couldn’t get hard without pain and he didn’t want Ian wondering why he was fingering him when neither of them would be able to go any further so he stopped.

Was what he’d done wrong? Fuck yes, but did he care? Not really, not when there was a possibility Ian would stay here with him. He hadn’t gone out of his way to deliberately deceive him by not using protection, he’d simply decided to let fate choose the outcome and maybe covered up what had happened just a little.

He left Ian sitting in a towel on the toilet seat in the dark bathroom exhausted from their shower that had not fully awaken him while he quickly remade the bed and closed the blinds. He needed to help Ian walk back to the bed and was glad Ian wasn’t fully with it enough to want to look at himself or to notice him closely enough to see the damage they’d done to each other. There’d be enough time for that after they’d had more sleep. 

******

Mickey woke up to Ian staring him dead in the eye and flicking his bottom lip, the little bit of light coming through his blinds was just enough to see him.

“Did you try and fuck me in the shower or did I imagine that and why the fuck am I in so much pain?” Ian asked him with a cheeky snip in his tone.

They were in bed facing each other, his arm still wrapped around Ian possessively like he’d fallen asleep fuck knows when. His stomach then began to grumble, he couldn’t remember when he’d last eaten or even what day it now was.

“Yeah I’m hungry too… so you gonna answer me or not hmmm? I’m still fucken pissed at you ya know!” Ian went back to flicking his bottom lip no doubt to annoy him. 

He playfully slapped his hand away and pulled him by the back of his head into a passionate but short kiss. No point beating around the bush so he just told him straight. “We did a shit load of coke, I don’t even remember half the night but I woke up in a fuck ton of pain. The room, us and the bed smelled like a fucken orgy man, so I showered us both and maybe tried to fuck you in the shower, changed the sheets and cleaned up all the used condoms on the floor, then we crashed again.”

Ian’s eyes were shiny and wide, “Really, fuck. Thought I’d dreamt the shower, must have been really fucken wasted but that doesn’t explain why tha fuck every inch of my body is in pain, even my dick…well?”

Time to freak Ian the fuck out, shit. “We might have gotten a little carried away and I don’t think either of us can leave the house for at least a few days.” Shit! 

Ian sat up suddenly and turned away from him putting on the bed side lamp before turning back to him. “NO FUCKEN WAY!” He nearly yelled in his face as he looked him over briefly.

He couldn’t help but laugh, that was his response too. “You should know you look a bit worse than me.”

“Ow, fuck, shit.” Ian bitched as he moved down the bed headed for the bathroom. He may as well follow him so he can see all the damage he did to him too, was easier to walk now.

He heard the light turn on before he heard Ian. “Jesus!” Fuck he could screech. “Mickey! What tha fuck did you do to me!?”

“Same as you did to me bitch! Fucken look at me!” He stood in front of the mirror alongside him and they both checked each other out more thoroughly. 

After about 20 seconds of Ian looking him over in the reflection he burst into hysterical laughter which he couldn’t help but join. He pulled him into his arms when they calmed a bit and held him tight. “M’sorry.” He said to him softly while he buried his face into Ian’s neck kissing it gently while caressing his back. 

Ian pulled back, smiled his dorky half smile of his while he ran his fingertips lightly over his left check and pecked him on the nose. “I’m sorry too, now give me a fucken tooth brush, shower me again cause I don’t fucken remember and feed me then I MIGHT forgive you for that text you sent me asshole!” 

Ian grabbed his arm tightly before he could move. “Wait…” He could see he was thinking and felt himself start to panic when a look of guilt took over Ian’s face. “Fuck Mickey, I didn’t use a condom both times I fucked you… just remembered. I’m so fucken sorry but I’ve never fucked anyone without one before. I don’t know how I forgot but thank you so much for wearing one with me. If you want me to go to the clinic and get tested, I’ll go today.” 

Thank fuck he’d showered and cleaned Ian when he was still out of it so he said reassuringly, “I believe you ok and we're not going anywhere, we’re staying here and ordering takeout for the next few days ok.” He then scrambled through the vanity draws for a new tooth brush and couldn’t help the huge grin on his face. Ian forgave him and so far had no recollection, he just hoped it stayed that way. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What did you just call me!?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how I feel about this chapter. Changed a few things a couple of times but still don't feel completely satisfied. I wanted to get more into Mickey's head, how he thinks without regard for anyone but himself but show an ever so slight bend towards Ian's feelings.
> 
> Hope I don't offend anyone but this is how I created this AU version of Mickey from the beginning so expect him to not think how his actions might affect Ian or anyone else, it's a slow learning process when you have no idea how your behaviour may affect those around you. 
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with me, I love getting your comments and hopefully they stay positive after this chapter :)

 

 

“Ian, what tha fuck!” He turned when he heard his sister yell at him from the Milkovich lounge room, Mandy by her side mouth hanging open and shock in both their eyes.

“I can explain…” He said instinctively. Fuck, he wasn’t expecting them to turn up. He hadn’t seen either of them for 4 days now and it had only been 2 days since him and Mickey had regained ‘consciousness’ after their god knows how long fuckfest. He tried to distract them, smiled and held up the pot of coffee he’d just made. “It’s fresh, you guys want some?”

Fiona glared at him hand on hip before she stated, “Go put some fucken clothes on, I’ll be waiting.” He forgot he was only wearing boxers as he quickly made his way back to Mickey’s room. Before he entered the bedroom, he heard her again. “Oh, and tell Mickey coffee will be waiting for you both here at the table.”

He couldn’t help but laugh after he closed the bedroom door and saw Mickey with his head peeking around his bathroom door. Not like she didn’t know or couldn’t see what they’d be doing these last few days.

“Really Mick?” He didn’t answer just stared, expression completely blank. “I really need something to wear if you’re done hiding and Fiona said cof…” 

Mickey cut him off snapping, “I heard what she fucken said alright, fuck!” 

“You don’t have to bite my fucken head off just gimme something to wear!” He spat back.

He watched for a moment as Mickey just stood in the door way not moving before he grabbed his jeans off the floor then went to one of Mickey’s drawers and pulled out the first t-shirt he found pulling over his head violently, obviously too tight for him but right now he didn’t give a shit.

He was really getting pissed now as he watched Mickey stand there not moving. “Well, you getting dressed or what, she’s not going anywhere!”

“She’s your fucken sister, why do I gotta go out there for, hmmm?”

“Your serious?” He was dumbfounded by Mickeys response.

He inhaled deeply and tried to placate him instead. “Come on Mickey, she’s naturally gonna be a bit pissed after not seeing me for days and then finding me in nothing but boxers covered in bite marks, hickeys and bruises after being hidden away with my boyfriend for 4 fucken days don’t ya think.” He smiled encouragingly holding his hand out to him but he didn’t move. “Babe, you ok?” 

Mickey had gone red in the face, outrage now taking over. “What tha fuck did you just say!?”

“Mickey?” He was confused as fuck now.

“What did you just call me!?” His head looked like it was ready to explode.

He tried to think of what he’d just said that would piss Mickey off but couldn’t come up with anything. “What?”

He jumped backwards at the speed Mickey stormed up to him getting right up in his face. “Boyfriend aye!?” 

Ian replied anxiously. “I just…um…fuck, I just thought after all this time we spent together.” He was so fucken nervous and confused right now, didn’t understand what had changed, why Mickey had changed.

Mickey pointed between them before speaking again. “You think we’re boyfriend and girlfriend here hmmm?” He said to him quietly, anger radiating off his words.

Mickey had caught him off guard at first but now he could feel his own anger burning its way to the surface. He’d happily done anything Mickey had wanted him to do for days now, well fuck him. He pulled himself up to his full height now making Mickey have to crane his neck to look him in the eyes while he spoke quietly voice full of menace. “You ‘kidnap’ me from a party so you can have me all to yourself, I spent the last 2 days waiting on you, doing whatever the fuck you ask of me, letting you bend me over nearly every surface in your fucken house all while you call me ‘babe’? Fuck you Mickey!” 

He turned and started making his way for the door to leave when he felt Mickey take hold of his arm. He tried to pull away but couldn’t free himself. 

“WHAT!?” He screamed in Mickeys face not giving a shit who heard.

Mickey didn’t say a word, clearly still angry with him but not letting go.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He struggled to get out of his hold but Mickey still wouldn’t let him go so he violently pushed him away then opened the door aggressively ignoring his sister and best friend calling after him as he left the house and ran home feeling humiliated yet again, but this time barefoot. 

******

How the fuck had he done it again? He asked himself as he quickly locked his bedroom door before anyone tried speaking to him. How did it all turn to shit again just like that? Fuck!

The last few days had been perfect. He’d texted Iggy and Mandy telling them not to come home for a few days so him and Ian could have the whole place to themselves. They’d been so happy in their own little world, the only distraction was when they had food delivered otherwise it was just them.

He’d brought Ian home Monday night and when they’d finally come to it was Wednesday and now it was Friday and fucken over again, after the best time he’d ever spent with anyone Ian had left him.

These last 2 days had been perfect. He knew Ian still felt some guilt about forgetting to use condoms and did everything he could to make it up to him and he loved it. He wouldn’t let him do anything except order food and whenever it arrived he insisted on serving him, getting him a drink or anything else he wanted. 

They’d watched what he wanted, talked about what he wanted, ate what he wanted and yesterday when they’d both woken up they’d fucked wherever he’d wanted. He’d bent Ian over the lounge at least twice, the dining table, the shower and back in his bed repeatedly and not once had Ian topped. 

Ian was finally and completely his, the beautiful boy he’d wanted so badly couldn’t do enough for him, seemed to only want to make him happy and he himself couldn’t get enough of Ian. He felt the constant need to touch him and when he could get hard again without pain he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to fuck him over and over again. About the only time he wasn’t touching Ian in some way was when either of them needed to use the bathroom.

Ian had no problem holding a conversation with him or giving his opinion but in every other way he’d become subservient to him and he absolutely loved it. Was everything he could ever want and more being with Ian and he was so accepting, letting him control everything they did, no questions asked. 

He showered him with affection, called him babe all the time and when they fucked he made sure Ian always came before he did. Their perfect bubble with only the 2 of them in it. He felt like he’d found his other half and he’d preened at how naturally Ian became submissive to his dominate side without any discussion. He’d simply become his completely and it was everything he’d ever wanted since the moment he’d first set eyes on him.

They’d not once defined in words exactly what they were to each other but every time he’d entered Ian from start to finish he knew he was moaning ‘mine’ to him and Ian had started to respond with ‘yours’. Fuck, even last night when he’d held him in his arms while they were falling asleep Ian had said to him, ‘no one has ever made me feel so safe and as wanted as you’, and in turn that had made him feel the most content he’d felt in his whole life and he’d held him even closer if that was possible.

It should be no surprise that he’d fucked up the best thing that’d ever happened to him again. Fucked up what he wanted more than anything he’d ever had, Ian. 

He was pulling on clothes faster than he could think now, not giving a shit what he was wearing then he was out his front door running to the Gallagher house after Ian. He had to fix this before he hurt Ian even more and hoped he hadn’t pushed him too far this time.

At some point he ran past Fiona and Mandy only noticing them when they called out to him but he kept going until he reached the house not bothering to knock and let himself in. He quickly scanned the room and only saw the 3 younger Gallagher’s, the girl pointing up the stairs so he made his way up.

He looked in 3 rooms before he found Ian. He was in bed completely covered by his blanket facing the wall and from the slight movements he made it was obvious he was silently crying. He closed the door behind him taking off his shoes and stood by the bed. 

Ian had stilled so he knew he was there but he said nothing to him so he pulled back the covers and crawled into bed with him and pulled him into his arms. He held Ian tightly kissing his neck softly and whispering, “I’m so sorry babe, I got scared and freaked out, please forgive me.”

Ian didn’t answer him but he did take ahold of his hands that were wrapped around him. He felt Ian snuggle back into his embrace and they soon both drifted off to sleep.

******

Mickey was wrenched from sleep by the intense pleasure of Ian sucking his dick while laying between his legs. He reached down with both hands running his fingers through Ian’s hair as he began to deep throat his dick sucking him down whole. He looked down and saw Ian’s head bobbing under the blanket and took one hand away to pull it back so he could watch him. 

Ian pulled his mouth off him slowly, staring at him as he twirled his tongue around the head of his cock, flicking his tongue along the slit while keeping his startling green eyes focused on him. He felt Ian push his legs further apart and the sound of a bottle of lube opening. As he felt a finger pushing its way inside him Ian started to bob his head down his length again slowly while he fucked him with his finger. 

When he started to push back on Ian’s finger he added another one moving them around until he found his prostate and started to massage it gently with the pads of his fingers. He could feel himself getting close just from the sensation inside him so he pulled Ian’s head up by his hair. “Fuck me.” He ordered him bluntly. 

Ian pulled his fingers out and started to smirk at him when he heard him open a condom under the covers, sneaky bastard he thought. He felt Ian pressing into him slowly and painfully, he hadn’t prepared him like last time and the burn was exquisite. He bit his bottom lip trying to hold in his moaning and tasted blood. As Ian bottomed out he had to concentrate hard not to come. Fuck he loved the feeling of Ian’s cock inside him.

He pulled him down on top of him so he could kiss him but instead Ian licked his bottom lip lapping up the blood then sucking it gently and rolling his tongue all over it. He reached down and grabbed Ian’s ass and pulled it towards him feeling Ian’s cock moving slowly inside him. When he felt him start moving on his own he reached back up wrapping his legs around Ian’s waist and his arms around his back holding onto his shoulders as Ian buried his face in his neck.

Ian began rolling his hips fucking into him slowly but deeply, hitting him in just the right spot every time. “Nearly there, harder.” He breathed his words into Ian’s ear. Ian lifted his head watching him intensely then pulled his head back by his hair firmly as he fucked him harder. He felt Ian take hold of his cock and tug it slowly in time with his deep thrusts making him writhe beneath him and whimper as he came hard in his hand, Ian following after a few more hard pushes inside him. 

Ian still had his eyes fixated intently on his as they were slowly coming down from their orgasms and he knew he had to give him something more. “You’re my boyfriend and I’m an asshole.” Ian immediately crashed his mouth down onto his kissing him passionately, tongue running along his while sucking all the air out of him leaving him breathless. 

Ian pulled out of him fast leaving him feeling empty and wanting more and flicked the head of his sensitive cock with his fingers making him jerk off the bed in surprise. 

“Fucken asshole!” He hissed at him and punched his arm hard knocking him off the bed laughing. He smirked knowing his ‘boyfriend’ wasn’t a wimp, could stand up for himself but at the same time readily accept his dominant nature.

He watched as Ian removed the condom wrapping it in some tissues and picked up a shirt off the floor and wiped off his stomach then his own. “We better get downstairs before Fi decides to come up here.” He said as he started to pull his jeans back on. Fuck, he could watch him all day.

When they were both dressed, he hugged Ian tightly and planted a soft kiss to his lips, carding a hand gently through his hair. “This is new to me too Mick and I don’t expect anyone except our families knowing but you gotta try not freaking out.”

He was thankful that Ian understood his behavior and he knew he would have to learn to accept the term ‘boyfriend’ just as openly between themselves as Ian had accepted and embraced who he was these last few days.

He followed Ian downstairs and was met by a room full of Gallaghers and his brother and sister all staring at them. Fiona chucked them both a beer which he fucken needed with all these eyes on him.

The room was quiet, no one seemed to know what to say at first when Ian’s younger brother, the psychopath whose name he couldn’t remember asked from his seat at the table, “What did you put up on the wall?” 

The so called adults started to snicker when Ian obliviously asked him what he was talking about. “Fi said you guys were putting up pictures, s’why all the banging.”

Mickey spat his mouthful of beer across the room, face turning red as the 3 assholes in front of him burst into hysterical laughter. Ian was laughing too but his face was as red as his hair.

When the laughter died down Fiona herded them all to the table as Mandy helped her serve dinner. He felt himself calm as Ian rubbed his leg soothingly under the table.

******

They’d all just finished dinner when Mickey heard Fiona call his name, “Hey Mickey, wanna come out back with me for a smoke?” He got up slowly to follow her out, Ian right behind him when she spoke again. “Um, not you Ian. Give Mandy a hand with the dishes k.” Fuck, he felt his stomach drop not really wanting to get into anything deep with Fiona right now, he’d already been through enough with Ian today.

He followed her outback knowing he couldn’t avoid her. They had a decent size yard with some scattered rubbish here and there and a few plastic chairs which they both sat on and lit up their smokes. The evening wasn’t too hot now that summer was coming to an end, he just hoped Fiona wasn’t about to become an arctic winter about what’d happened earlier.

He kept his eyes focused on anything that wasn’t her before she spoke directly to him and he could no longer avoid her. “Not saying shit about whatever happened between you and Ian today, just wanna lay down some ground rules about school and shit.”

He should have expected this, she was basically Ian’s parent/guardian like he was Mandy’s and he had rules for her too, but it was also an uncomfortable reminder that Ian was only 17 and he was 22, fuck.

He bit his tongue and looked at her waiting for her to continue. “We both know I have no problem with you guys doing whatever and Ian is old enough to make his own choices but I don’t want anything to fuck with his schooling. He has a big future ahead of him with WestPoint and all so he can’t let his grades slip, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want him to have a fucken life too but he’s worked hard to get where he is.” Shit.

At least he didn’t have to fake friendly with her, they were whatever now too. “Yeah, I know what you mean, shit I felt the same way when Mandy came home and told me she had a boyfriend, Ian…” He couldn’t help but chuckle when he thought back. “First thing I thought was distraction, so I know what you’re getting at.” He was actually more pissed she didn’t ask if she could have a fucken boyfriend first but that didn’t matter right now.

He watched her face light up knowing they were on the same page, or whatever fucken page that would end this conversation sooner rather than later and waited for her ‘ground rules’ which he knew would fuck with his alone time with Ian. He did his best to stomp down any feelings of irritation he was now feeling at the thought of Ian not being with him when school went back in 3 days’ time.

“Great, so I was thinking this is the last weekend so if you want Ian at yours that’s ok, totally up to you guys but when school starts up I think it would be best if Ian spent school nights at home. He does most of his studying at work so that frees up his weekends.” 

Thank you, dad, for teaching me such good fucken acting skills. “Nah, I get it really, it’s all good. I got a lot of work to do during the week so I don’t need Ian distracting me either.” First thing tomorrow he was gonna get Iggy to give the apartment above the shop a good clean and furnish it out for him, get it done before Monday if he could when Fiona was back at work if it was at all possible. No reason Ian can’t work his shift from upstairs, just the thought made him grin which Fiona took for support. 

She smacked her hands down lightly on her thighs before standing, “Well I need another fucken drink, you coming?”

He nodded as he stood and followed her back in the house, a fuck ton of ideas running through his mind for the place above the shop. The paperwork would be settled for the sale of the building by Tuesday so he didn’t mind fixing the place up nice for him and Ian.

******

He spent the whole night tossing and turning, he was in a foul mood when it was time for him to get up for work. He stumbled past Iggy and made his way to the kitchen and poured himself a coffee then sat himself down at the table and lit up smoke, reflecting on the last week he’d spent with Ian by his side. By the time he was finished smoking his breakfast was in front of him, eggs and toast and his coffee was refilled.

He spoke between mouthfuls of food. “We got a lot of catching up to do?” He now had trouble sleeping when Ian wasn’t with him and he neglected his work when he was. He couldn’t win either fucken way.

“I did the banking Friday like you showed me, put the receipts and the rest of the money in the safe. Just need you to divide up the monies for the businesses for the week, do the books and we’re all good bro.” 

It truly amazed him how Iggy used to come across as such a dumb shit when he was wasted which used to be all the time but now that he’d limited him to only weed and not before afternoon, he confused the fuck out of people with the way he now behaved. Disregarding last week of course, free coke was free coke and not to be wasted. Maybe it was time to give him a bit more responsibility, would free him up to spend more of his time with Ian, however control of the money and any decisions would always remain his.

“And the space above the shop, that done yet?” He asked him casually. One night alone and he was pining for Ian like some bitch. Fuck school!

“Paid them extra to bring the stuff after Fiona’s shift is done. I’ll be there to take care of it.” 

Not her fucken business what he does with Ian, although he knew he had to give in on school night sleep overs for now. Be fucking easier if Ian just stayed every night, could go with Mandy in the mornings but hopefully that would change soon and if it didn’t, a few well-placed holes should do the trick. Was nobody’s business but his own when it came to Ian and he was prepared to trample over anyone who got in his way. Maybe he should send Ian’s neglectful bitch of a mother a fruit basket thanking her for passing on her fucked up genes. 

He could feel Iggy staring at him now, no doubt it was the maniacal grin he got when he was planning something big. His brothers liked to tease him saying his smile resembled the ‘Joker’ whenever he was up to something, he also happened to be his favourite bad guy. Was actually rather fitting now, the latest actor to play the Joker on TV was also a really fucken hot redhead, go figure ha?


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What made Ian who he became.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *TRIGGER WARNINGS*   
> Childhood abuse and neglect. Monica's attempted suicide mentioned. 
> 
> This chapter is a bit shorter than the others but it felt right to end it where I did. Mickey is not in this chapter. I thought it was past time, I probably should have explored Ian's childhood earlier and what made him who he is now. How the abuse and neglect shaped him. How his attraction to older men also stemmed from his childhood but I'm not going that route. His easy acceptance of Mickey's domineering nature and how it makes Ian feel.
> 
> This wasn't easy to write, I felt it was ignored and made insignificant just like Ian was in canon, the differences between himself and his siblings.
> 
> Your comments and kudos are as always much appreciated.

 

 

He was born the middle child and named Ian Clayton Gallagher which became a joke between him and his older brother by 1 year, Lip. The joke being when he was 15 it was revealed he was the son of his namesake, his father’s brother Clayton Gallagher who’d had an affair with his mother. 

He’d always felt a difference between himself and his siblings from when he was young, even before they found out he wasn’t Franks son. Maybe deep down Frank knew he wasn’t his and that’s why he was the only one he ever remembered being hit. 

Frank would hit him just for being in his way or simply knock him to the floor to get past. He’d try to sit next to him when he was in a good mood or show him what he’d done at school that day but Frank would always find a way to make him feel less, to make him feel like he didn’t exist until he felt him strike him for no reason at all. 

He didn’t recall Frank ever hitting Fiona. She went through the same neglect as him however Frank did praise her for looking after her ungrateful siblings. She had no childhood, she had Lip then himself to look after while trying to find food and take care of them. Franks absences and neglect was always worse after their mother would disappear. He blamed them and his treatment towards Ian would always worsen.

Monica was home more when they were younger and showered them with affection when she wasn’t stuck in bed unable to get up. When she was out of bed which was more often than not, she was full of energy and if they were lucky she came home with a bit of food after buying drugs, whereas Frank only seemed to come home with beer under his arm. 

When Monica was home her time and affection was focused more on him than the others. She made him feel special and stepped between Frank and himself most of the time, depending on how much drugs she’d taken and how coherent she was but when she left them yet again he had no one to protect him. 

She’d leave and come back maybe once or twice a year and when he was 6 she brought them back a baby sister which she dumped into Fiona’s arms then went out with Frank again for days on end. A year later the same happened with another brother and then only 3 years ago the last baby brother was dumped on Fiona too. 

Fiona had always been the one to look after him, his caretake of sorts, pseudo parent and he probably loved her just a little bit more than his other siblings for that reason. From his earliest memories, it was always Fiona who did everything for him and Lip. For a long time it was just the 3 of them fighting to survive in a world full of drugs, alcohol, neglect and abuse. He was quiet and always did as he was told but Lip was a handful and took up a lot of her time.

Still, he made sure to behave for his sister, stay out of Franks way and always helped with the younger ones. He didn’t blame her when he felt so lost and alone, he wasn’t the only one who needed her and really, she was only a child herself. 

When he discovered JROTC he felt like he was gaining some control over his life, some hope of making his life worthwhile. He found comfort in having to follow rules, something he’d never had to do before. The discipline and comradery of being part of a team with others having similar interests made the loneliness slightly more bearable, however no matter how much the other cadets tried to befriend him, asked him to join them doing stuff outside of JROTC he couldn’t. 

He was friendly and helped others but always made excuses that his family needed him with one thing or another. It wasn’t a complete lie, he had a job and Fiona did need him to help with babysitting while she worked, he just didn’t have any desire to be with people outside of his family.

He decided at 13 that this would be his future. A way to make a better life for himself, his family, his immense feelings of needing to help others even when he had no interest in spending time with them. He could have a successful career being an officer and become financially secure enough to one day have children of his own, something he craved so desperately. The need to love someone and them love him back unconditionally, to be the parent he never had and to find out he wouldn’t need a partner/husband to accomplish this made it perfect in his mind. 

Even though he felt an overwhelming urge to be loved, to feel needed and consumed by another both physically and emotionally, deep down he didn’t want to ever feel that way. He didn’t deserve that type of love. He was a mistake whose father hated him and his mother abandoned him. He would never be good enough so he made a conscious decision that he would never be with the same man more than once that way he could save himself from hurt.

Not long after he turned 16 he felt the loneliest and lowest he had in a long time. His mother had recently come home in a manic state and spent all their winter savings. After that she crashed spending a week in bed before she slit her wrists on thanks giving during family dinner for all her children to see. Like usual Frank took his anger out on him both physically and emotionally when she left yet again, but that’s also when his lifeline came into his life, Mandy.

She would be his perfect other half if only he was straight. The only other person besides his siblings he felt an immediate emotional bond with, but at the same time he was grateful they would never become more than best friends. 

One of the few things he was totally accepting of in his life was being gay and after an uncomfortable situation with Mandy when they first met she was accepting of who he was too. 

They had a lot in common. No parents who were capable or wanted to raise them and they were both being cared for by older siblings who had a lot of other responsibilities besides them. They were both focused on school, both wanting to get out of the neighborhood they’d grown up in and neither had any real friends in their lives.

It shocked them both the immediate connection they felt towards the other and for the first time in both their lives they let a friendship occur. They became ‘girlfriend and boyfriend’ to the outside world which stopped any suspicions as to why he never dated girls and because other boys at school knew he was more than capable of kicking their asses they stayed away from Mandy too.

They understood each other to the extent that no words were needed to convey their feelings, a simple look was enough. That didn’t stop them being able to open up to each other in a way neither had before, to share their feelings and goals for the future. They became the closest emotionally to each other, more so than anyone had before and they both helped to partially fill the void missing in each other’s lives.

This didn’t completely stop the feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, abandonment or the nightmares that woke him in terror that had consumed his short life so far but they did make them fewer, occur less often than before they found each other. Only now these feelings were intensifying again on a whole new level.

******

4:14am Ian saw as he looked at his phone for the hundredth time. He had to be up for the first day back at school in just over 2 hours and he’d been half sleeping on the lounge for the last half hour. He could feel himself nodding off again but knew he wouldn’t stay asleep just like he’d been doing all night, just like he used to do not so long ago. 

Sleep…panic…sleep…Mickey…sleep…loneliness overwhelming him like he’s felt all his life but now that he’s found someone who makes he feel so safe, so wanted the fears are back tenfold and he is terrified it will end in heartbreak and disappointment. That’s why he never wanted a boyfriend or any type of relationship besides what had with Mandy. Always shied away when asked for more.

Deep feelings of abandonment took over as thoughts of Mickey swirled through his mind. The only other relationship he’d witnessed so closely had been his parents and he never wanted to know how they made each other feel but he couldn’t escape how he felt when he was with Mickey. 

He wasn’t stupid. Up until he’d met then started a relationship with his best friend’s brother he knew his life was a façade. Yes, he was confident, secure in his ability to just take what he wanted from men which was mostly sexual gratification. He was determined, driven and could stand up for himself but he knew inside he craved something else. 

He made a point of never fucking anyone who looked over 25 after googling his attraction to older men. He’d gone to a few psychology pages which claimed his attraction was for a daddy figure. Someone older who could look after him and give him the feelings of security he’d been denied his whole life. A man who was domineering, took charge but worshipped him at the same time. A man who made him feel safe and loved, the center of his universe. A man who made him feel protected and would welcome his submissive nature he hid so well.

He never expected to find that person who encompassed all those things but at the same time feel so physically attracted to him, was only 5 years older and everything he’d ever wanted or needed. It wasn’t possible, his life had never been so easy or lucky. 

Sleep now evaded him at the thought of his dreams being shattered. A need to put his barriers back up to avoid the inevitable plummet back to earth when it all went to shit like he was sure it would. He didn’t deserve that type of love, he’d been told enough times what a useless waste of space he was. He was positive Mickey would get sick of him, that he was a passing interest and nothing more. He was convenient and in this neighborhood, that was extremely rare. 

His daydreams of what this could be would also affect his long-term plans. He was going to make something of himself, give his siblings a better life when his service began and he was able to earn a good wage. All the things he’d quietly promised himself he was determined to accomplish to have a better life than the one he’d been given so far and if by some inconceivable way Mickey didn’t lose interest would he be able to leave him when the time came? Would Mickey wait for him, be loyal to him while he was away at WestPoint?

All these fucked up thoughts were on rotation in his mind making him feel like his head was about to explode as he felt sleep pull him under again for a brief time.

******

They were sitting under a tree eating their lunch on the first day back at school. Ian’s usual happy nature was gone and he was uncharacteristically quiet. Too quiet for Mandy’s liking and his eyes were blood shot, she knew what that meant.

“There back again aren’t they?” Mandy couldn’t help the concern in her voice.

“Yeah.” He answered her plainly while he fiddled with his sandwich ripping the occasional piece off and eating it while avoiding eye contact.

She slowly caressed his arm hoping to coax him to open up. His nightmares had been good lately, down to 1 or 2 a month now but from the look of him he’d had a really bad one. “You wanna talk about it? Might help hmmm.”

She could tell he was thinking, they read each other so well and even though she knew what haunted him, his piece of shit father and absent mother, it was still hard to express.

“Don’t think I can talk to you about this Mands, don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable position.” He took her hand that had been on his arm and held it in his own dropping his half eaten sandwich on the ground by his leg.

Fuck. She expected this topic to come up eventually, her brother but not this soon. “I can be impartial you know, as long as it’s nothing sexual.” She tried to reassure him with a light chuckle. 

He rubbed his other hand across the back of his neck a few times before looking up at her, eyes red and unsure. “Do you think he’s serious about us, about me or is this just fucking around?”

She now took her time gathering her thoughts before answering. Mickey had never shown any feelings for another person before but he’d been overly obvious since he’d met Ian. “I think he is, he made it clear to me he’s never had a boyfriend before. He also hasn’t smiled so much since you two have been together, he’s almost pleasant to be around.” She smirked hoping to convey some humor into her words.

Ian didn’t respond and his expression hadn’t changed. She felt her heart clench as she realized Ian was losing it, his mind unable to comprehend the emotions he was feeling, the insecurities and loneliness she knew he agonized with. The same reasons she herself held back from dating and used Ian willingly as a crutch. 

Abandonment, heartbreak and never feeling worthy of love. They were so similar it scared her to see her own feelings mirrored back and she knew what would come next. Just like herself Ian would self-sabotage to save himself future pain.

He spoke so meekly, shuddering with his first words. “I’m not sure if being with someone is a good idea right now. With school, JROTC, work and helping at home, fuck. If it doesn’t work out I…I… when it ends… I’m losing my focus already. Last night’s nightmare wasn’t about them, it was about Mickey.” He exhaled loudly with the effort of getting all that out.

She jumped in before he could say more and spoke firmly to him. “Ian listen to me before you make any decisions you may later regret. If my brother was just looking for a fuck he’d only want to see you when he wanted to bang but we both know that’s not true. Why would he spend money on a hotel or kidnap you cave man style to spend the week with you if he didn’t have feelings for you too. Both our families know about the two of you, it’s not a secret…”

He interrupted her rambling, “but that doesn’t mean he’ll feel the same way next week or next month. I’m leaving next year so ending this now before it becomes more is doing us both a favor or what if he dumps me and it fucks up my study, my concentration and I flunk out of WestPoint or even when I leave he dumps me not wanting anything long distance. This wasn’t in my plans these fucked up feelings you know that, I don’t date for that reason. What if I can’t deal with all this shit when it does fucken end.” He sounded panicked by the end and was fighting and losing the battle to hold back his tears.

She grabbed his face wiping the tears of his cheeks before speaking softly. “Ian, what I’m going to say to you now has nothing to do with the fact we’re talking about my brother ok. You know I understand better than anyone where you’re coming from and I know this could fuck with your plans but what if he really is the ‘one’ and you throw it away and never find it again. Don’t you think he deserves a chance, or better still you deserve the chance to truly be happy. Yes, it may end but it could also be the best thing to ever happen in your life and sooner or later you have to take a chance. Wouldn’t it be better to do it with someone who already makes you feel so deeply? Someone who has feelings for you too?” She pleaded with him not for Mickey’s sake but for his. 

Even through the tears and the blood shot eyes she could see a small amount of hope. “You at least owe Mickey something. Talk to him and see where he feels this is going before jumping to conclusions and ending this before it’s even began. I know it’s our first instinct to protect ourselves but if he didn’t already mean so much to you, you wouldn’t feel this way.” He gave her a small smile now and she gave him one back.

They sat in silence now, once again holding hands and enjoying the peace and quiet surrounding them but something was wrong. Before it dawned on her the bell rang and Ian pointed out, “We’ve missed last 2 periods.” He sounded calmer now but she could tell he was getting a migraine from lack of sleep and all the emotional stress he’d been under.

She stood and pulled him up with her. “I’m taking you home, drugging you and putting you to bed.” He was about to protest. “No, it’ll only get worse you know that. I’ll take your shift don’t worry and I’ll let Fi know.” She forced him to start walking slowly.

By the time they got home Ian could barely open his eyes from the sunlight. She walked him to the kitchen first and gave him one of the pills she knew Fiona gave him whenever a migraine took hold then walked him upstairs to Lips room so he could sleep quietly away from his younger brothers. 

She stripped him to his boxers before putting him in bed. He fell asleep almost instantly so she left him to go downstairs where she could hear Debbie and Carl home from school. She asked them to be quiet before making her way to the shop.

She decided to speak to Mickey when she saw him, worried Ian would be taken over again with fear when he woke. She would only give him the basics, Ian’s fears and doubts ingrained from his childhood then leave it up to Mickey to either move forward and speak to him, reassure him she hoped or to end it now for Ian’s sake.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Battle of the Linen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I profusely apologise for all linen content. 2 days ago, I had a similar heated discussion with my brother as Mickey has with Iggy in this chapter over bed linen, specifically sheets which he still can’t let go of and I find hilarious whenever he has an outburst. My brothers a dick sometimes haha.
> 
> Once again I'm grateful to all who have given this story kudos and share their comments with me.

 

 

Mickey was shitting himself, no denying that after speaking to Mandy. He’d been hovering between excitement and pissed off when she’d first spoken letting him know Ian wasn’t coming but then he’d felt guilt when she told him he suffered from migraines. 

When she’d explained, what had triggered Ian’s migraine he was once again stuck between multiple feelings. Anger over Ian’s childhood and the way it affected him now, understanding as he had his own demons from his father, an intense need to run to Ian and hold him forever safely in his arms and then there was dread. 

Dread was more complex than them all but he knew with certainty this feeling wasn’t too far from what Ian had been feeling and coupled with a million and one ‘what if’ scenarios he could feel his own headache taking hold. 

He needed a distraction he thought as he looked around the main bedroom of the apartment above the shop, needed to clear his head before having to think too hard about Ian and the insecurities they both had so he did something he hardly ever did except when extreme necessity dictated, he made his new fucken bed. 

He started with the pillows, for some reason Iggy had bought like 10 of them but some seemed wrong. He counted 6 that looked like the normal oblong shape pushing them aside then stared in disbelief at some weird ass giant square pillows. He read the plastic cover to see if that would help, ‘European pillow’. What the fuck was a European pillow and why did he need them? Wasn’t ‘normal’ pillows good enough? Was Iggy fucken high when he’d gone shopping? He’d have to keep a fucken eye on him again dammit. 

Next, he went for the 2 larger items, both duvets. Now why did Iggy buy 2? And why the fuck did one have a picture of a sheep and one have a picture of a strange looking duck? They seemed identical to look at but when he made himself read their labels too he found one was filled with wool and one with feathers. He scratched his head trying to work out which one he was supposed to use and what fucken difference it made but gave up and pushed them both off the bed in frustration.

He now found himself stumped yet again. Why the fuck would Iggy buy 4 different sets of sheets and 4 different duvet covers with fucked up lines across them and shapes and how the fuck was he supposed to decide what matched with what and what didn’t!? He may be fucken gay but his sense of style ran mostly to anything black, white, grey or blue, shit. He threw his hands up in the air thinking of ways to inflict damage on his drugged up extreme shopper of a brother.

He’d deal with that and his idiot brother later he decided as he picked up a random set of sheets reading the label on the packaging and wondering what the fuck ‘denim’ meant. Wasn’t that jeans? Were the sheets made of fucken denim? He hated falling asleep in his jeans, they tended to rub and chaff in all the wrong places whenever he’d passed out wearing them he thought as he infuriatingly opened the packaging.

Well shit, these sheets felt soft. Why the fuck would they write denim when they felt nothing like that, these were fucken soft blue sheets! Maybe he’d picked the wrong distraction he guessed as he dropped the sheets on the bed and grabbed a smoke instead. He randomly picked up another sheet set while inhaling his cigarette deeply before blowing the smoke out through his nose. After reading this label too he slammed the sheets down hard on the bed watching them bounce off onto the floor.

He found himself marching to the top of the stairs without realizing he’d left the room he was so pissed off before he screamed down the stairs, “Iggy! Iggy!” The small area he was in made his voice feel like it was almost bellowing back at him, fuck it was loud. He didn’t wait for an answer knowing his brother would come to him so he made his way back to the offending shit Iggy had bought him.

Only took him a minute to get there, he nearly laughed at the stunned look on Iggy’s face when he entered and saw the mess he’d made, looked like ‘bed, bath and beyond’ had exploded in his room.

His scowl reappeared on his face quick smart before he hurled at his brother, “What the fuck is all this hmmm!?” He threw his arms around taking in the whole room.

He watched Iggy’s eyes scan the room again taking in the disaster it had turned into. “Um, bed linen Mick?” 

He was ready to pull his own fucken hair out. “I know it’s fucken linen Iggy I meant all this weird shit!” He pointed around the room again without any clear indication of what he was actually referring too as Iggy stared at him blankly so he continued.

He picked up one to the pillows and shoved it at Iggy, “This, what the fuck is this aye!?” he didn’t wait for a reply. “Why the fuck would you buy some weird ass square pillow on steroids for, something wrong with a ‘normal’ fucken pillow?” 

He pointed at the duvets now as he brother looked even more confused if that were possible. “And what’s the difference between wool and fucken feathers and why buy both? What’s the fucken point hmmm!?” He could feel a light sweat on his skin as he powered on unable to stop his verbal diarrhea. 

Now for the part that really pissed him off. He quickly snatched up the sheet sets and laid them on the bed before going back to his linen rant and pointing at them. “These says ‘denim’, but it’s fucken blue. And this shit here, ‘Ivory’? It’s fucken white.” He continued pointing at the other 2 sets unable to stop himself as it slowly dawned on him what the labels meant. ‘Obsidian’? It’s fucken black and ‘Pewter’? Looks fucken grey to me!”

Iggy was now staring at him like he’d gone completely fucken mad. He tried, he really fucken tried but he couldn’t hold in the explosion of laughter that was nearly as hysterical as his fucken linen rant. Fuck he was stupid. 

He wasn’t sure how long it took him to calm down but his stomach hurt and he found he was now laying on his side on the bed trying to catch his breath as random noises fell from his mouth, Iggy was on the floor hugging his legs to his chest visibly shaking with hilarity in no better condition. 

When he was coherent enough to form words, he spoke brokenly. “Don’t. Say. A. fucken. Word. Alright!” He did however grin as he spoke but his mind kept muttering on about different fucken shades like it made a difference. Why couldn’t they just write what it was instead of some fancy ass name?

It all worked out for the best though even with the stress he’d put himself through, he’d managed to clear his mind but he wanted to be with Ian right now. He sat himself upright deciding to take a few drinks and shit from the shop and go over to the Gallagher’s even if he just watched him sleep, not creepy at all. Was better to be with him even if Ian had no idea he was there.

******

It was still early, just after 8pm when he got there and the lights were all still on from what he could see as he strolled in the front gate laden with bags. It didn’t take long for Fiona to answer the door after he knocked ushering him in with a sweep of her arm and a grin. If he didn’t know better he’d think she was expecting him.

He passed the kids on the lounge who were glued to some fishing show, probably didn’t even notice he came in they were so entranced by whatever was happening on the screen and continued on to the kitchen putting his bags down on the bench.

He started to empty them as Fiona stood next to him watching in fascination. “You bring the shop with you?” She asked him jokingly.

He snickered at her, “No I didn’t bring the fucken shop but I needed a drinking partner, brought some munchies too.” He held up a few containers of dip before asking, “Kids like this shit? Didn’t know what to bring so I just picked them all, some chips here too.”

Chips must have been the magic word cause no sooner had he said it they were standing next to him practically begging. He gave them their choice of dip and a bag of chips and they were gone like they’d never even been there.

Fiona snorted while she put some glasses down on the bench and poured herself a vodka while he poured himself a whiskey and they both got stuck into the dip.

Between mouthfuls of food Fiona spoke, “Mandy told you, bout Ian’s migraines.” It wasn’t a question. “She tell you why he gets them?” Fuck, he forgot she was a talker, at least she wasn’t annoying like Iggy or Mandy.

He gulped his drink down before pouring another, “Just the basics, wouldn’t get too in depth. Best friends bullshit and all that.” He respected that to some degree but not really when it came to Ian.

“After growing up with the shit show that is Frank and Monica I think we all have relationship issues, especially with trust.” He knew all about her ex’s. 

“I don’t think any of my brothers have been with anyone longer than a fucken month or 2, similar role models we were blessed with growing up aye.” He confessed.

She moved the food and drinks to the table and sat waiting while he joined her before she spoke. “He does care about you, I think that’s what scared him ya know. First relationship, insecurity crap and what not. He’s a lot more sensitive than me and Lip, didn’t help that Frank always singled him out whenever Monica took off.”

He really wanted to wrap his hands around Franks neck right now, squeeze the bastard to the point when he would either shit or piss himself or both before letting him fall to the ground. “Why’s that you think?”

“Frank?” He nodded. “Ian looks the most like her, our mother and I think part of Frank knew Ian wasn’t his, looks like his real father too.”

“Franks brother, right?” Ian had already told him but it seemed the right response. 

She sniggered bitterly holding her glass up to toast, “Yep, good old Monica the junkie slut, thanks Mom.”

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes while they ate and drank, not feeling the need for words, both stuck in their own musings.

Fiona broke him from his thoughts, “You staying over tonight?”

He was relieved she’d asked him first not wanting to break their school night agreement. “Really wanted to be here if Ian wakes up, bit worried he might still be losing his shit come morning.” He replied honestly.

She gave him a gentle smile. “Probably give him some comfort too if he wakes and finds you in bed with him, more so than me.” He gave her a ‘what tha fuck’ look. “I prefer to sleep with him when he’s like this, get worried I won’t hear him if he wakes up in a bad way.”

He chuckled, “Yeah, makes sense.” Part of him was still fixated on his sheets so he couldn’t help but ask her opinion. “Hey Fiona?” He waited a bit till her knew he had her full attention. “If you got a new set of sheets and they said ‘denim’ on em what would be your first thought?”

She giggled loudly at him grinning widely. “Well me I would think they were denim blue in color but for nearly every male I know they’d think they were actually made of denim.” She arched an eyebrow. 

She seemed to be waiting for him to explain but instead he said, “Don’t fucken ask.” He was glad she let it go but she couldn’t wipe the grin off her face already knowing the reason for the question.

She stood up when he finished speaking and stretched. “Don’t know about you but I’m beat. Gotta get this lot off to bed too. You wanna watch some TV before going up, it’s not that late yet?”

He’d had a shit night’s sleep without Ian the night before so he was more than ready to crash. “Had a busy day and I’ve got a busier one tomorrow so it’s probably best I turn in early too.”

“Well Mandy put Ian in Lips room so there’s plenty space for you both, can you do me a favor though?”

“Sure.” He’d do her fucken laundry if he got to stay with Ian.

She spoke as she walked back into the kitchen and opened a cupboard pulling out something he couldn’t see. “If he wakes in the night and he’s still in a bad way can you give him one of these but if it’s just a headache now give him 2 Advil.

She came back over to the table picking up a couple bottles of water on the way putting them down in front of him with the Advil and a small yellow medicine bottle. “Just one of these if it’s still bad, they’re fucken strong.”

He got up as well now. “You need a hand tidying up?”

She waved him off. “Nah I’m fine. When you get upstairs Ian’s in the only room with the door closed. Just use the light on your phone to see, bright lights make him worse.”

He picked everything up and said goodnight to her and the kids before making his way upstairs. He stopped off for a piss then finger brushed his teeth, he would’ve used Ian’s brush but he didn’t know which one was his.

Before going in the room, he got his phone out and turned on the light then quietly made his way in careful not to shine it near the bed. He put the water and pills on the floor near the bed before toeing off his shoes and stripping down to his boxers.

Thankfully Ian was in the middle of the bed facing away so he slid in easily. He didn’t stir, clearly deep in sleep so he slowly moved closer till he was spooning him. Finally feeling himself relax now that they were together he passed out instantly. 

******

Ian stirred awake slowly all warm and comfy relishing the feeling of Mickey’s broad chest against his back and his arm securely wrapped around his waist holding him close. The room was palely lit, early morning sunlight filtering in softly through the curtains. He was relieved to find his migraine had gone, he was just left with a dull headache that a couple of Advil should help to ease it off he hoped, though occasionally when they were bad it could take up to a week to leave him completely.

The house was still quiet, he had no idea what time it was but he knew he’d have to make a move soon to get ready for school and make sure his siblings were fed. He hoped Fiona had made their lunches before leaving for work, save him having to do it. He slowly lifted his arms above and behind his head towards the wall and stretched his body cat like after such a long deep sleep. 

He felt Mickey move ever so slightly already knowing how his body reacted while awakening. He wasn’t shocked in the least to find him in his bed, he simply wondered when Mickey had joined him. He felt his body stiffen now when he realized Mandy would have had to give some explanation why he hadn’t gone to work but he knew she would have only shared what was necessary, just the basics. 

His body relaxed when he felt Mickey’s hand move up to his chest and gently caress him running his fingers over his skin languidly. After a minute or so of enjoyment he turned himself slowly to face him curious to know how much he knew and wondering if he should be embarrassed or not.

Mickey’s eyes weren’t fully opened but they looked deeply into his, warmth and concern showing clearly as he slowly leant towards him closing them and kissing him carefully on the lips. He felt Mickey’s hand cupping the back of his head and gently playing with his hair while he continued to kiss him lazily conveying emotions that left him breathless.

When he moved back to look at him he could tell Mickey had no idea what to say, same as him but he felt it was for him to speak first. “This, us.” He needed to pause. “Are you freaked out as much as I am?”

He watched as Mickey bit his bottom lip thinking before he replied. “I have no fucken idea what I’m doing, this is all new for me, for the both of us but I don’t want to lose it, I want more, I want you.”

He struggled with himself to give a little more back after what Mickey had said. “I kind of lost it a bit, tend to over think shit too much. I don’t want to lose this either but yeah, feels a bit overwhelming, these new feelings and shit. I guess I’m scared if it all goes to… fuck! I don’t even know how to talk about all this but I do want more too. Does that make sense?” He was pretty sure Mickey understood his mixed up explanation.

“How bout we take the talking shit slow. We both want this but it’s new for us both so maybe we learn together but if you ever feel like this again, like it’s too much come to me or call me to come to you, even if I have no idea what tha fuck to say I can still hold you or we can bang.” The last comment wasn’t out of Mickey’s mouth before he found himself on his back, Mickey hovering above him before he gave him a quick loud lip smacking kiss on the cheek and jumped out of bed.

He followed after him but only made it to a sitting position on the edge of the bed when Mickey’s hand suddenly appeared in front of his face handing him a bottle of Advil and water. “Take your pills bitch.”

He smiled up a him softly before downing a couple and drinking all the water. His head felt a bit more foggy and dull now he was upright but well enough for school. It would take him a few days to be completely over it, till he was back to himself.

“You got any sunglasses, your eyes are a little blood shot?” 

He got up slowly stretching out his whole body again, a loud yawn falling from his mouth. “Yeah, I got some drops too. They should clear up by tomorrow.” His stomach grumbled loudly. “Fuck I’m hungry.”

Mickey laughed at him softly, “You’re like 2 meals behind man and I smell eggs so let’s hurry tha fuck up before the hoards beat us downstairs.”

******

It was just before 7am when they made it downstairs. He was a bit concerned about Ian going to school, he seemed a bit unsteady but he assured him if it got too much he would come home. He was happy to find Fiona had not only made eggs but took out a big plate of bacon from the oven when she saw them. She made a fuss over Ian before she went upstairs to wake the kids before she got ready for work leaving them all at the table eating.

Mandy arrived to pick Ian up before he left which relieved him to know he wouldn’t be walking alone to school and made her promise to call him if he got worse. Bitch rolled her eyes at him but assured him she would before he made his own way home.

He had a busy day planned for himself and Iggy, they had banking and money to sort out, plus they had to finalize the purchase of the building the new shop was in. He also wanted to spend some time thinking about Ian and ways to show him he was serious about them, to help him with his insecurities and shit. He was ready to do anything at this point, he couldn’t stomach the idea of Ian leaving him knowing that he himself had no intention of ever letting him go. 

Deep down he knew he’d never want anyone else and a very small part of him did feel the slightest bit of guilt about trying to ‘trap’ Ian into staying and not leaving next year but not enough for him to stop. His greatest fear was Ian not staying or even worse breaking up with him now and how he might react. He was prepared to bend, go out of his comfort zone for Ian but he wouldn’t, couldn’t, tolerate him not being with him. He knew he could make him forget, give him anything and everything to make him happy and content and mostly to feel secure.

This was his new goal now, to focus on showing Ian what his life would be like with them together. He’d managed to ensnare him emotionally already as evident of his behavior yesterday, now he just had to make him unable to function without him. Ian was his perfect match in every way possible. They enjoyed each other’s company, shared similar interests and the sex? Fuck. He knew it was the best either of them had experienced and nothing or no one could ever top it. They were just so compatible but the best part, years of experience had taught him to read people, to be able to see who they were, how their minds worked and to use it to his own advantage and he planned to with Ian. 

Sure, Ian could stand up for himself, wasn’t afraid to open his mouth. Had no problem putting him in his place as he’d done when he’d fucked up. He could undoubtedly kick ass in a fight too but he personally didn’t want someone who just said ‘yes’ to him. He wanted everything Ian was and the submissive nature he was 100% positive Ian hid deep inside him that was desperate for someone to make him his, to love him and care for him, to protect him the way he was denied growing up, that he craved for more than anything. He could give him all that and more importantly, he wanted to.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cousin Patrick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexually frustrated Mickey and the piece of shit heartless bastard cousin Patrick Gallagher.
> 
> Oooh and my enemy, 'SMUT'
> 
> Once again thank you all so much for your continued support, kudos and comments.

 

 

It had been a long week for Ian, he couldn’t work or attend ROTC while recovering from his migraine and keep up with school so those 2 things had to be put to the side. He’d stayed at home every night including the weekend at Fiona’s insistence. She knew this was the best way for him to fully recover after being through this with him too many times already, it was better just to agree with her than argue knowing she was right.

 

Mickey had been over every night for dinner but didn’t stay overnight now that the initial stressors had been dealt with. Ian now felt a lot more secure in their relationship but he’d also discovered something else. Mickey made him feel secure, in himself, in them and in knowing that with real feelings he’d wait for him. He felt like he could have his career, go away to WestPoint next summer and know he’d be waiting for him. It wasn’t like Mickey didn’t know his plans before they’d gotten together, just like he knew exactly who Mickey was.

 

He realized he was similar to Fiona in regards to being in a relationship during the past week they’d been together but not alone or intimate except for stolen kisses. She always ended relationships when she knew she could never trust the guy she’d been with and he’d come to the same conclusion knowing now he trusted Mickey in a way he’d never trusted anyone before.

 

With a new determination and confidence in his life, in himself he was going to give more time to study, he was going to see if he could add another day or 2 to his ROTC training and even though he was going to spend weekends with Mickey he would still need to spend at least an hour or 2 studying every day even during their time together. He was sure Mickey would have no problem with that being such a driven, hard working person himself.

 

He was also not going anywhere near hard drugs again. He had gone overboard with the free coke both those times and it had really fucked with him. He would also have to cut down to the occasional beer now and give up weed altogether this year knowing he would be randomly subjected to blood and urine tests with no choice in the matter. To refuse could affect his future and he had worked too hard to jeopardize it now.

 

It was getting late now, his younger siblings already in bed sleeping for the new week of school that was starting tomorrow and Mickey had gone home leaving just himself and Fiona. He was sitting at the dining table organizing his schedule in a way that hopefully didn’t get on top of him. He hadn’t yet told Mickey of his plans but he would when he’d finalized them, he also wanted to speak to his sister too.

 

She must have read his mind when she slid into the seat next to his asking, “Whatcha doing?” sounding too upbeat for 9pm on a Sunday, for him anyway.

 

He turned his notepad around to face her, not quite finished with his scheduling to write it up in his diary before speaking. “This year is too important to fuck up, I’m working out the best way, the most efficient timetable to make sure I get as much study time as I can and add another day or 2 to ROTC. Also have to give up weed and drinking, those random tests can happen anytime now.” He said sounding a little exasperated.

 

He watched as she looked over his notes taking in all he needed to do this final school year. Fi may not have finished school but she sure as fuck knew time management after running their house most of her life mainly on her own. He did start to feel worried after a few minutes when he noticed her eyebrows slightly twitch. 

 

She finally looked up at him, serious face and all. “I spoke to Lip the other day, he’s hardly ever home and I think it would benefit you more to study and sleep without being disturbed so you’re moving into his room and he’ll stay in your old bed when he comes home.”

 

He’d never thought of that, never entered his mind to take his brothers room even if he hardly ever came home anymore. He was about to speak, to thank her but she continued.

 

She pointed at his notes as she spoke, “This is really a lot Ian, I don’t want you to overextend yourself but I think I may be able to help you find more time but hear me out first ok.” He nodded before she continued. “We don’t have a squirrel fund anymore, don’t need it now I have a bank account with money saved for bills and to get us through the winter. With bringing home our food from work and the wage Iggy pays me we could still live without money problems if you give up work and focus on all this.” She indicated his notes again.

 

What she said made sense yeah, but the part of him that felt responsible for his family, that had always helped his sister couldn’t wrap his mind around what she was saying.

 

He put his hand on his sister’s arm squeezing it gently before speaking softly. “Fi, I’ve worked for 3 years now to help our family, even held the same job all this time. Fuck, I really appreciate what you’re saying but it wouldn’t feel right, not to me and I have other expenses too so no, I can’t do that.”

 

She looked pensive for a moment, deep in thought. “Ok how bout this, hmmm. If you cut back to 2 days work instead of 5 days a week that would cover your costs for ROTC and any other shit you need, even going out if you have anytime left for a social life and it would hardly make a dent in our budget as things are now.” She had that look on her face now that said she was ready to argue if he didn’t agree but he still felt torn.

 

He gave her a small smirk letting her know she’d won or at least he was giving in. “You mind talking to Iggy with me, I’ll have to give him a week or 2 to hire someone for the 3 shifts I’m dropping.”

 

“No problems sweet-face, you better talk to Mickey too, let him know what you’re doing.” He was thrown by her comment but as she spoke again realization hit him and he nodded to her. “Relationship hmmm?”

 

“Yeah, I know, still getting used to it all. I’ll text him before bed and ask him to meet me at the shop tomorrow.” He said as he started to pack his stuff up. “Hey Fi, can you give me a hand with all this tomorrow night?” He pointed to his notes.

 

“Sure, and please don’t start moving your shit tonight.” She called to him as he made his way up the stairs backwards waving her good night.

 

After he did his teeth he got into bed in his new room still not feeling 100% but nearly there. He set his alarm before sending Mickey a text and fell asleep almost instantly.

 

_Ian >>> Hey, can you meet me at the shop after school. We need to talk xox_

******

 

 

Mickey had finally managed to have his first good night’s sleep in a week passing out early from exhaustion and sexual frustration waiting for Ian to be fully recovered from his migraine. Ian didn’t ask or make the first move so he thought it was best to wait and just be there for him, spend time with him getting closer without sex and he can’t say he didn’t enjoy it, he did but he was still frustrated as hell. He didn’t sleep over again and he had to forgo his weekend with Ian at Fiona’s request but as much as it irked him he wanted Ian better and she needed to ‘mother’ him so he went over every evening and spent a few hours with all of them, ate dinner with them then went home to his own empty sexless bed.

 

It was Monday again which meant a busy day at work so he was up early finding himself in another long shower and having to rub one off for probably the 100th time this past week. He hadn’t even been able to show Ian his surprise yet but he was back at work today so hopefully he might get some, at least he was ready to fucken pray he did or beg if necessary.

 

After putting on his standard uniform of black jeans and going for a little color with a blue button up he grabbed his phone and made his way to the kitchen, the smell of coffee and eggs drawing him in and making his stomach rumble.

 

He strolled to the dining table, Mandy already dressed and eating too and sat down at nearly the same time Iggy put his first cup of coffee down in front of him savoring the taste. Food followed a minute later as well as orange juice and he finished it all off before Mandy had even made it through half of hers.

 

He reached over flicking her bangs to get her attention. “No wonder you’re so fucken skinny, eat more and stop playing with your food.” He said in a fatherly manner.

 

She flipped him the bird as her phone chimed a text. He watched her read it before she looked up and him and asked. “Why haven’t you answered Ian’s text?”

 

He hadn’t even checked his phone this morning, his fingers knowing how to turn his alarm off without looking so he did now.

 

_Ian >>> Hey, can you meet me at the shop after school. We need to talk xox_

 

His good mood suddenly gone, he’d seen way too many fucken movies where ‘we need to talk’ was always a bad sign and shoved his phone in Mandy’s face demanding, “What tha fuck does that mean!?” Nearly spitting at her as he spoke.

 

He couldn’t read her face properly, probably cause he’d snapped at her making her put her blank face on. “Ian wants to talk to you?” She asked/stated unsure.

 

“Fuck, I know that but isn’t that usually a bad thing when someone says that?” He asked back sarcastically and feeling slightly panicked.

 

She smiled at him softly now. “Not if he adds kisses and hugs Mick and sends me a text concerned you didn’t answer.”

 

Shit, he didn’t think of that he thought as he lifted his mug for Iggy to refill with coffee and answered Ian back.

 

_Mickey >>> sorry, hadn’t checked my phone. Everything ok?_

_Ian >>> All good, just wanted a chat. See you there yeah?_

_Mickey >>> I’ll be there _

He quickly sent another text as an afterthought.

 

_Mickey >>> xox_

_Ian >>> xox _

At least he knew it wasn’t a bad talk but fuck he’d be wondering all day now what Ian wanted to talk about.

 

Mandy stood quickly and unexpectedly walked around the table and kissed his cheek then Iggy’s then nearly fucken skipped out the house picking up her backpack at the front door on her way out.

 

After watching her leave he looked at his brother who had the same dumbfounded look on his face as he did, as if his morning wasn’t fucken strange enough already.

 

He shook Mandy’s strange behavior off as teenage girly shit and instead discussed his plans for the day with Iggy. They had their usual money pickups and banking. They also had a few houses they wanted to cruise by that they’d heard were about to go into foreclosure. Better they got them first then the fucken hippy’s that had taken a liking to their neighborhood. His accountant said they could get away with picking up a couple so he didn’t want to miss out. Catch the owners first and maybe they’d end up with a little something too instead of losing the lot.

 

He smoked his after breakfast cigarette as Iggy cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher then they made their way out to the car to get their day started early.

 

 

******

 

 

Mickey was in a good mood again, their morning jobs had gone by quickly, it wasn’t yet lunch time and their business profits earnt a tad more than they did last week and now he was ready to speak to a few home owners and build up the family ‘portfolio’ as his accountant referred to their investments.

 

He brought up the email on his phone that his contact at the bank had sent him and was stunned by the first name, Patrick Gallagher.

 

From what he knew of Patrick Gallagher he was an asshole who thought he was better than the other Gallagher’s, his Gallagher’s but he was also an arrogant prick who thought he was better than half the south side as well. He decided they’d go see him first out of curiosity knowing he had a decent job so he shouldn’t be going into foreclosure.

 

After telling Iggy not to mention they knew his cousins he sent him into Patrick’s work to ask if he had some time to discuss a business proposition already knowing he wouldn’t say no, no one had said no to him in a long fucken time but it didn’t hurt to be polite.

 

He was leaning against his car, halfway through a smoke when Iggy came back with Patrick following and watched as he walked straight up to him putting out his hand to shake.

 

He didn’t usually shake hands but he’d play this assholes game for now and smiled in greeting. “How can I help you Mickey?” Forced politeness seeping through his voice.

 

Fuck it, he had no time for games. “I hear you might have a property going into foreclosure, thought maybe you’d be interested in selling before the bank takes it and maybe coming out a bit ahead in the bargain.”

 

He noticed he fought back a smirk. “Yeah I’d be interested. Got a house over on Homan Ave, been renting it to my dead beat cousin Frank but I may have gotten a loan against it and not paid back the bank.” His smirk now came out.

 

“I know that piece of shit and the house, how much you owe and no bull, got other houses to look at today.” He asked him seriously while keeping his anger contained.

 

“Owe the bank $50,000, got 30 days to pay. Be happy to sell it to you for $70,000.” Mickey laughed in his face.

 

“Really? It’s gonna cost me money to fix up that shit hole before I can rent it out.” Fuck this bastard. “Also, gonna fuck up your credit if you default.”

 

He could see the wheels turning like he hadn’t thought of that before. “You got a lawyer?” He nodded to him. “You have the paper work ready by tomorrow morning and the check and I’ll give it to you for $60,000 on one condition.”

 

Mickey folded his arms across his chest, he didn’t like conditions that weren’t his own and indicated with his hand for him to continue not trusting his mouth. “You kick out Frank.” Patrick smiled at him now.

 

He could work with that if he got his way too. “Got my own condition, I’ll give you your $60,000 for it if we go pick up the deed and go straight to my lawyer now. Get this shit done today and get rid of Frank.” He deadpanned.

 

Patrick put out his hand again and they shook, no way was he risking Fiona and the kids being put out on the street if he found out he knew them before the papers were signed.

 

He then spent a long fucken 3 hours in that bastard’s company listening to him talk about Frank and his heard of kids like they were rubbish, like they didn’t share the same name, same blood and come from the same fucken place.

 

He’d have to speak to Fiona tomorrow, alone. He’d gotten close to her and the kids besides being with Ian. She didn’t deserve what Patrick was prepared to do to them after she’d sacrificed so much for them all, given up her own fucken life and worked like a dog to keep her siblings together but Patrick hadn’t asked for the kids to be thrown out, just Frank so no fucken way could he say he went back on the deal. Though he would happily make sure Frank stayed the fuck out for good.

 

 

 ******

 

 

Mickey looked through the window of the shop and could see Ian behind the counter, text books open in front of him studying. Fuck he was beautiful, that always seemed to be his first thought whenever he saw him. He was a bit dubious about going in after spending all day trying not to think about what Ian had to say and after the shitty afternoon he’d had he hoped whatever Ian wanted to talk about wasn’t gonna piss him off. He didn’t want to get angry at Ian or even show him that side of him which he knew could be quite vicious if he lost control, Ian had already had a glimpse of that side of him when he had turned up late for work coked of his ass when he was still hiding how he felt. Maybe it would be better if he made up some excuse why he couldn’t come in, business or some shit but no fucken luck. Ian had just looked up and saw him and waved so he made his way in, genuine smile on his face cause he was happy to see his boy.

 

Ian beamed at him, “You watching me through the window like a creep Milkovich?” He teased.

 

He laughed. “Fuck off and chuck me the keys bitch.” Ian already had them in his hand and it took him all of 2 seconds to lock up the shop and flip the closed sign.

 

He walked past him indicating with his head for Ian to follow him and went straight to the back of the shop to the stairs leading up to the apartment unlocking the door and going in.

 

The moment Ian rounded the corner he was waiting for him and gently pushed him against the wall mindful not to jolt him. He leant against him savoring the feel of Ian’s body against his as he brought his hands up and caressed both sides of his face as he felt Ian place his hands against his chest and pulling him closer by his shirt.

 

He kissed him softly, lips only trying to hold himself back when all he wanted to do was ravish him. It was only a short kiss as he wanted to show him his surprise, hopefully be rewarded for what he’d made for him.

 

He pulled back then brought both his hands down taking one of Ian’s in his own and walked him up the stairs slowly to the room not saying a word. He stopped in the doorway to the bedroom and waited for his response.

 

Ian never said a word. He walked into the room stopping at the bed taking it all in as he followed him then he turned and reached for him and started to unbutton his shirt while staring deeply into his eyes. Before Ian even got to the last button his cock was rock hard and begging for freedom.

 

He felt Ian’s hands gently touching his shoulders and pushing his shirt off letting it fall to the ground. He snaked his hands slowly down his chest till he got to his pants and undid his belt, popped the button on his jeans and slid down the zipper before spinning him hurriedly and pushing him onto the bed.

 

He watched as Ian took off his shoes, then his socks and then went for his pants. He lifted his hips enough for him to slide them off and heard them drop to the floor as Ian moved his eyes over his body lasciviously.

 

Then Ian began to undress but not in the slow subtle way he’d undressed him. He shed his clothes fast, frantic to get them off while keeping his eyes on him the whole time then leaned over him and crawled up his body as he moved further up the bed.

 

He could feel his cock leaking, desperate for release even before Ian lay on top of him, covering him completely with his own body, his hard cock rubbing against his before he placed his lips to his and kissed him.

 

It was soft and he barely lingered before moving his lips down and along his jaw then onto his neck licking and sucking gently while his ran the fingers of one hand through his hair and with the other hand he reached down and took hold of his cock moving his hand slowly and running his fingers across his slit and spreading his precum down his length.

 

He took hold of the hand on his cock as he felt himself getting close, it had been too long, “Ian, I won’t last.” Ian lifted his head from his neck and looked at him pupils blown, hardly any green left.

 

Breathlessly Ian asked him, “Can I fuck you?” He’d been hoping, had prepped himself before leaving home. He reached under the pillows and felt around pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom he’d placed there a few days ago and handed them to him.

 

Ian sat in between my legs and poured some lube onto his fingers and pushed one of my legs back towards me. I was going to tell him but I could see he noticed the shine and smirked at me as he pressed 2 fingers inside me with no resistance making me moan deeply as he found just the right spot.

 

“Please Ian…” I couldn’t help myself. I knew I wouldn’t last and he could tell too so he slid his fingers back out and opened the condom with his teeth and covered his cock rubbing the excess lube over himself.

 

He pushed my knees back towards my chest with one hand as he rubbed his cock over my entrance sliding the head in then pulling it back out a few times making me moan before pushing his cock into me until I felt his balls against mine, my breath hitching.

 

Ian pulled my legs apart and leaned over me and somehow it felt like his cock had gone deeper, the pleasurable pain I’d felt the first time he’d fucked me was back and it was amazing. I wrapped my legs around him lifting my hips needing him to move and he did but slowly, nearly pulling all the way out before pushing back into me hard and deep and quickly picking up speed while he moaned above me thrusting into me deeply.

 

He then began to roll his hips up with every thrust hitting my prostate, making me gasp and shudder beneath him. I held onto his shoulders, my arms under his and pulled him down into a kiss which was more panting into each other’s mouths, his breathing ragged.

 

Ian grabbed hold of my cock tugging it only few times before making me cum heavily, choking out a growl as he fucked into me hard chasing his own orgasm, hips losing control as he groaned loudly coming inside me. He slowed and rested his forehead against mine, both of us trying to catch our breaths, droplets of sweat fell from his head onto mine. His movements jerky as I clenched around his cock.

 

Ian pulled out slowly, his arms trembling and rolled off me landing beside me still panting from what I could hear cause I sure as fuck couldn’t see. Couldn’t even open my eyes I felt so dazed. I searched for his hand and brought it up to my lips kissing it before turning my head towards him finally able to see and found him looking at me eyes glazed.

 

I bit my own tongue feeling words I wasn’t ready to say and instead said, “Man that was good.”

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey changes tactics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay between chapters but life with 2 young sons who get sick at the same time left me with barely enough time to sleep which did not help the mania I was already trying to come down from. Downers are my new best friend hahaha. Will try and catch up on my other stories this coming weekend:)
> 
> This chapter covers roughly a 4-5 week time period. Not sure if I like it or not, can't decide but I wanted to post something and this was the closest to finished. Hope you won't be disappointed.
> 
> I can never say thankyou enough to everyone for their comments and kudos which give me the confidence to continue.

 

“Thanks for letting me christen the bed.” Ian said warmly still coming down from the high of his first orgasm in a week. He was lazily playing with Mickey’s fingers on one hand as he smoked with the other. He was now feeling apprehensive what Mickey’s reaction to his decision, to his plans for the coming year would be and was now having second thoughts. Not about following through but how his news would be accepted.

 

WestPoint, the military and the years of service he was committing to had always been his dream but now he also wanted Mickey in that dream too. Wanted him to wait for him even if it was only a few weeks into whatever it was they now had. He was positive what he wanted but he wasn’t gonna ask him to wait, not so soon but Mickey had a right to know how the next year would play out if he chose to stand by him, to stay with him.

 

Mickey squeezed his fingers gently to get his attention. Turning his head, he found him looking at him. “So, you gonna tell me what you wanted to talk about?”

 

He hoped he sounded as confident when he spoke as he did in his decision. “Well you know I’m going to WestPoint next summer after I graduate so I really have to buckle down and spend more time studying. I’m also increasing my days at ROTC to 3 times a week instead of 2. With all that happening I’m giving Iggy notice, I’ll have to cut back on work, probably down to 2 days a week.” Fuck, did that come out ok? Ian thought.

 

It was quiet for a short time, and Mickey looked away from him before speaking, fuck he hoped that wasn’t a bad sign. “You serious?” He asked him the same way he would ask any question, mild curiosity. He was still learning to read him, to pick up on any small nuances but he didn’t detect any.

 

He turned his body towards him hoping he would look back, he didn’t. “I don’t want to risk anything now it’s so close ya know. I’ve worked hard for 5 years now and I really want to finish this year with the best marks I can.” Fuck, he still kept his eyes averted like he was searching for something but not settling on one spot.

 

“And our time together? Do I lose my weekends too?” He wasn’t sure if Mickey was slightly annoyed or upset.

 

Ian reached out and turned Mickey’s face towards him needing eye contact now. “Of course not but I still need to study at least an hour a day even on weekends but I can do that at yours.” He reassured.

 

Mickey turned his body towards his now kissing him softly. “Am sure we can work around that but right now it’s getting late and I’ve got a busy day tomorrow. How bout I drop you home k?” He spoke against his lips and he could feel Mickey smile.

 

They didn’t waste any time after Mickey spoke both getting dressed and heading down stairs where Ian gathered his text books putting them into his backpack. Ian still felt unsure of Mickey’s feelings/thoughts towards his news as he counted up the till and Mickey walked aimlessly around the store picking up random items that seemed like an afterthought.

 

After locking up the shop Mickey drove him the short distance home in silence. He knew there’d be no goodnight kiss even in the car but part of him was craving some type of reassurance as they pulled up in front of his house and Mickey had yet to look at him.

 

He reached out and rested his hand on Mickeys thigh knowing that action couldn’t be seen from outside but it drew his attention towards him. He smiled at him gently and moved his hand ever so slightly across his thigh before speaking. “Am I gonna see you tomorrow?”

 

“My weeks pretty full up so I’m not sure yet if I’ll have time before the weekend but yours is gonna be busy too right?” Mickey answered him much like he’d spoken to him earlier but this time he did give him a small smile.

 

He accepted Mickey’s response knowing he was the type to say what he meant even if he couldn’t say how he felt. “Yeah, we both have busy lives right now but maybe we can do something over the weekend. I miss going out and now I can’t even go dancing with Mandy unless we go somewhere other than boys town. Maybe we could see a movie or go north side and eat, that’s if you want too.” Fuck, he could hear the smallest amount desperation in his own voice.

 

He felt Mickey rest his hand over his and watched as his face brightened. “I’ll makes some plans yeah? You better head in, I’ll text you tomorrow k.”

 

It took Ian a good hour to fall asleep that night even though he was tired. He couldn’t help his habit of over analyzing shit. Mickey hadn’t seemed pissed about his news but he wasn’t his ‘normal self’ he’d come to know these last weeks. He thought back to their conversation after his migraine and realized he was making more of this than he should. Mickey had a busy life too so it was only natural he’d be tired, have a full schedule himself.

 

He’d never felt so much self-doubt before Mickey. Was this what relationships were about or am I being selfish that he wasn’t fawning all over me like he usually does, or was he getting tired of me already, or is he pissed about fucken any or everything I said tonight? This time though he remembered the past week and the way Mickey had been there for him. Nah, he decided as he watched the moonlight play across the far wall, he had to learn to just accept shit and not keep dwelling over the small stuff.

 

 

******

 

 

He’d smoked way too much weed before bed the previous night so he didn’t lose control in front of Mandy. As far as she was concerned all was perfect in the world with him and Ian so he’d dulled down his emotions and went to bed early claiming again to be tired but Mickey was far from fucken happy about Ian’s news but he knew right now he couldn’t say or do anything about it. He’d have to be patient, treat this situation with Ian the way he did any other when he wanted something and knew he’d get it eventually. He reminded himself Ian had already shown him he’d managed to capture him emotionally and physically simply by his reaction the previous week with his panic induced migraine over them. He was positive Ian would be his and decide to stay in the end if his other plan didn’t work out. He need only wait a few more months for Ian to become so hooked on him, so dependent he couldn’t bear the thought of being away from him.

 

Years of learning to read people and situations only helped him when it came to Ian. He could tell Ian was the type that craved attention, needed to be loved and feel wanted after a childhood of neglect. It wouldn’t be hard work on his side either as he felt the need to give Ian everything he craved emotionally, he just needed to make Ian unable to function or even get through one day without him. It might hinder his own need to be with Ian constantly but he was sure his plans would pan out, right now though he needed to see Fiona.

 

The shop was locked when he got there so he rang Fiona and she let him in. She’d been stocking the fridge after a dairy delivery but he made her stop what she’d been doing so they could talk. After turning over some crates and sitting by the back shutter smoking he told her what had transpired with the house and that asshole Patrick Gallagher the day before.

 

She was understandably in shock by the time he’d finished, she hadn’t even interrupted him once which was a sure sign in her family not all was ok. He eyes appeared fixated on the grimy ground beneath them and she was oddly quiet so he let her be until she was ready.

 

When she did speak, she sounded small and a little bit lost. Not like the strong girl he’d become so fond of. “So, um, when do you want us out?” Her eyes still looked down.

 

Fuck, he hadn’t expected that to be her first question. “Fi, I don’t want to chuck you out. Even if I didn’t know you guys I wouldn’t do that to a family, especially not to a fucken south side family.”

 

“What are your plans then?” She looked directly at him now her eyes large and glassy.

 

He tried to give her a supportive smile, they were friends after all. “Firstly, I want this kept strictly between you and me.” He pointed between them. “As I said I had no idea it was your house he was losing to the bank but that’s what I do, I buy houses before foreclosure whenever I can. I did have to make him a promise before he agreed to the sale which I’m sure you won’t have a problem with.”

 

He continued when she stayed quiet. “He made me give my word I’d kick Frank out permanently.” He deadpanned and waited for her reaction.

 

At least she laughed lightly now. “Stupid fucker, he thought that would mean all of us, didn’t he?”

 

He told her straight. “He sure as fuck did so I hope you understand my word is my word so Frank can never live in the house again. I’m gonna put new stronger doors on the front and back and if you want I can put bars on the windows. Make me a list of any shit that needs fixing and I’ll arrange to get it done.”

 

She still looked nervous but when she spoke her strength shown through. “What happens to us if you and Ian break up, if it doesn’t work out cause I rather just move out now?”

 

She didn’t need to worry about that cause Ian would never be leaving him, not now or ever but he couldn’t tell her that. “Look, the reason I only want this between us is cause I don’t want Ian to think he owes me anything. I don’t want him with me for the fucken house or shit so don’t worry. I give you my word k.”

 

Bluntly she asked him, “And the rent?”

 

He smirked but spoke adamantly, “We both know you’re paying less than half it’s worth so on paper it’s gonna say the right fucken amount, what I could get for it but what you’re paying now stays the same. I need your word this doesn’t go further than you and me ok.”

 

It wasn’t a question and he could see by her face she knew that, understood what he meant. “Thanks Mickey, you have my word.” She leaned towards him and kissed his cheek.

 

“I’ll arrange for my accountant to contact you, he’ll be the one you’ll deal with not me.” He’d take her word and trust this stayed between them.

 

 

******

 

 

Mickey played out the rest of the week differently now that his game plan had changed. Instead of spending all his free time with Ian like he had the previous week he only visited him at the shop once and that was from his own lack of control. He did however only stay long enough for Ian to blow him in the stair way to the upstairs apartment feigning tiredness and Ian had pouted when he left which pleased him immensely. 

 

When the weekend came around he actually found himself comfortable with going slow unlike the way he’d previously pursued Ian. He started with affection and rewarded with attention feeding into Ian’s deep seeded neediness which seemed to have no end. By the time Saturday afternoon came around he had to remind Ian he had to study, push him to leave his side and made up an excuse he had business he had to deal with. Instead he spent a couple of hours shopping, carefully purchasing items he knew Ian would love which he could give him intermittently as, rewards? Fuck yes.

 

They didn’t leave the house to go out together that weekend but Mickey made sure to keep his affection towards Ian flowing steadily. Most people would have found the attention stifling but Ian thrived on it. Mickey himself was surprised by how much he enjoyed devoting so much of himself to Ian whether it be the slightest touch, caress or simply listening to him talk. His desire to possess Ian seemed to increase the more he became his.

 

One thing he did hold back was sex. He continued with his excuse of being tired and held off until early Sunday morning when his own resolve crumbled yet again and woke him just before sunrise. By this time, he could have done anything to Ian he was so frantic, thirsting for release from the tension of not doing more than kissing and touching the entire weekend so far.

 

Unlike last time they’d been intimate Mickey took control completely just like the first time they were together. He gave everything he had crushing Ian with passion to the point of smothering him, fucking him face to face making it as intense as possible. He gave in again to his own desires barely half an hour later while still maintaining control over Ian, however this time he lost himself.

 

After ordering Ian onto his hands and knees he fucked him mercilessly holding onto his hips as bruises formed unable to hide his thirst for dominance, his need to own him in every way but confident in the fact that Ian relished being overpowered. Neither of them lasted long but he held himself back until Ian begged him for release able to feel his body trembling before him. It took barely a touch when he wrapped his hand around his rock hard cock and felt him cum while he whimpered. Only when he felt Ian contract around his cock did he let his own climax break free pushing into him deeply filling the condom and hoping it would be ineffectual.  

 

While they basked in the afterglow he pulled Ian into his arms, his demeanor changing back to the softer side of himself that Ian drew out of him so effortlessly. Despite the roughness of only a few minutes previously Ian gazed at him tenderly arms and legs wrapped around him like a life line.

 

Later that day after nearly having to pry Ian from his side to study this time with Mandy he decided the time was right to ‘reward’ him, to show him how much he cared but not wanting to overcome him or make him feel uncomfortable being spoiled so he gave both Mandy and Ian the same gift.

 

They both had old cell phones, Mandy not so much but he knew she wanted the new IPhone so he used his sister’s elation, her excitement to draw Ian into accepting the expensive gift leaving them alone to bond over their matching new accessories.

 

He still had the watch he’d given Ian for his birthday but he was waiting for the right time to return it when he was sure he’d readily accept it back and not have any conflicted feelings over the anonymous present.

 

Mickey let the next few weeks play out the same way except he took Ian out to eat or a movie on their weekends together. He only saw Ian during the week when he had a shift at the shop which was only 2 days now and made sure he turned up half an hour before closing so he could help him close up but again kept sex to only the weekend while lavishing Ian with affection which in turn caused Ian to stick by him persistently and he fucken loved it.

 

They’d just passed 7 weeks being ‘together’ although no words were said to the effect but Mickey knew Ian was his. From the simplest gestures to the most intense sex of his life Ian complied completely. He still kept up the front of making Ian study and occasionally turned up at his ROTC practice to watch giving Ian the illusion of support but mainly to abate his own need to know if any other males were interested in what was his. Everything was progressing exactly the way Mickey wanted until it wasn’t, until that damn invitation arrived.

 

 

******

 

 

Ever since Ian’s mini breakdown as Mandy jokingly referred to his anxiety over Mickey getting the better of him his life had never been so good. He was doing extremely well in school and ROTC, excelling in both as his teachers proudly informed him and his relationship with Mickey was something he’d only dreamed of one day having. He truly felt for the first time in his life he could have it all, a career he’d worked for and the man he’d only imagined was out there waiting for him.

 

They never spoke about him leaving the following summer, he made an effort to live in the ‘now’ choosing not to think about being separated from Mickey. Even if it was his own choice he could feel the worms of doubt over leaving trying to take hold, worry that Mickey wouldn’t wait for him even while he encouraged and supported him but it wasn’t too hard to fight them off when he took into account the way Mickey treated him, spoke to him and told him he deserved the world so he chose for now to hold onto that.

 

Just over 7 weeks of having Mickey in his life and he’d never been so… grateful, content, overall just really fucken happy. He’d given him what he’d never before had in his life, affection, comfort, stability and the brand new warm winter jacket he was currently wearing on his way home this chilly autumn evening.

 

That was another way Mickey had shown him how much he meant to him but at first, he wasn’t comfortable with it and he’d told him. He’d bought both himself and Mandy new cell phones, something he would never be able to afford by himself or would be willing to accept without wondering what he’d have to do to repay the person but it was Mickey.

 

After the initial shock and excitement when they’d received them he tried to give it back to Mickey but found he couldn’t argue with him. As he’d pointed out to him his own cell sometimes didn’t work it was so old, it was safer if he had some form of contact now that he’d be getting home when it was dark and what if Fiona or the kids needed him and he was uncontactable? an emergency? So, he accepted it on condition that Mickey not spend money on stuff he didn’t need like an expensive IPhone and shit. He couldn’t really argue last week when he’d given him a new winter jacket, the first new jacket he’d ever owned instead of one of Lips hand-me-downs and it wasn’t anything fancy but it was warm and it fit and it just made his feelings for Mickey intensify.

 

He was nearly home, the lamp posts had not long turned on, the streets were still busy with people coming home from work and they were having a family dinner tonight. It was Friday, Mickey, Iggy and Mandy would be joining them for dinner before he went home with them for the weekend. He felt his cell buzz in his pocket and pulled it out expecting it to be a text asking how long he’d be but when he opened it he was surprised to see it was from Simon. They’d exchange the odd text here and there since they’d met but nothing for the last couple of weeks.

 

_Simon >>> Hey, you get the invitation?_

_Ian >>> ??_

_Simon >>> My parents are hosting a dinner party for us, some big shots coming_

_Ian >>> No but I’ll check when I’m home… when?_

_Simon >>> Next week Saturday bring your bf with you_

_Ian >>> I’ll ask him _

_Simon >>> Need his name for the place setting_

“FUCK”, he called out loudly by no one paid any notice.

 

_Ian >>> Mandy… you already met her_

_Simon >>> RSVP is Monday so call me_

He sped up his walk wanting to get home and see the invitation. He knew he’d fucked up and wondered if Simon suspected or if it was a simple mishap. There was no way he could know, they’d barely texted and he hadn’t seen him since Mandy picked him up after the training camp where they’d met. He was also positive she’d convinced Simon he was straight by her overenthusiastic performance.

 

Fuck Simon, he was sick of his mind demanding he scrutinize any little hiccup in his life and either way he knew he had to go especially if anyone important to his future career would be there. Maybe Mickey would go with him even if they both weren’t out, he hadn’t planned on hiding it once he was at WestPoint and it wasn’t like they’d see anyone they knew, he was the only southsider that would be invited so maybe.

 

Either way one of them would be his date to this dinner party whatever, it might not even be in his best interest if anyone knew he was gay right now or not. Simon had no problem with people knowing he was gay and the Military wasn’t allowed to discriminate, in public at least.

 

Why the fuck did his thoughts have to jump backwards and forwards constantly when it came to emotions. He’d been so good keeping it under control these last few weeks he pondered as he opened the front gate, noise emanating from inside but he didn’t make it to the stairs needing to quickly detour to the side of the house when suddenly he felt nauseous and the urge to throw up.

 

After a few minutes of dry retching he hoped it wasn’t a sign he was getting another migraine, he didn’t want his Mickey time ruined.

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner parties and disagreements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to split this chapter in 2, it just kept going. I'm halfway through the next so it shouldn't be long. 
> 
> A few people let me know last chapter they weren't comfortable with my version of Mickey who I've made controlling and manipulative but I made him that way to enable him to give his family a better life, I'm sorry if I have offended anyone. He's been that way through the whole story and yes his behaviour has been unacceptable many times but he's learning. He knows no other way but to fight or manipulate for what he wants to make life better for himself and his siblings and being with Ian is a learning experience. While learning to accept his feelings and changing with Ian it would be implausible for it to happen 'overnight' and I would expect him to fuck up more than once before finding some medium. 
> 
> I hope you are all still with me and thankyou for the supportive comments and kudos.

 

 

Ian debated with himself all weekend over that damn dinner party. Should he ask Mickey? He doubted if he’d wanna go but was he himself ready to come out to the people he’d be going to WestPoint with or let the so called big shots know he was gay. The military might be accepting on paper but shit still went down especially with the older generation that didn’t accept gays in the military. And there was also the fact that he’d made it clear to Simon after his obvious interest that he was straight, that he had a girlfriend.

He’d spoken to Mandy this morning when Mickey went out and she’d agreed that he probably wouldn’t want to go but Ian should ask him first. If not, she was more than happy to go to a fancy ass dinner party with him. They’d agreed a long time ago that until he was ready to come out she would be his girlfriend, his partner for anything to do with his career until he felt ready. She was already looking online for a suitable dress she was so sure Mickey would say no and suit rental for him. Apparently, the old second-hand suit he had was not suitable for such an occasion and it was important he made an impression his girlfriend had informed him or ordered him, depending on whose opinion won out, so now she was making sure they would be perfectly attired in matching outfits.

He’d be going home in a few hours, he really needed to speak to Mickey today so he could confirm tomorrow and give Simon the name of his date. Fuck. He went to his backpack beside ‘his side of the bed’, that made him smirk and pulled the invitation out that had been waiting for him when he’d gotten home Friday. Luckily Mickey hadn’t noticed then, the house was so full of people and noise it would have taken a tractor driving through the living room for anyone to pay attention.

Invitation in hand he made his way to the living room where Mickey was playing COD with Mandy and Iggy, they’d all been taking turns and right now it was Mickey’s turn so he sat himself down and waited trying not to fidget.

Even playing the game he noticed, he usually noticed every fucken thing he did these last couple of weeks. Personally, he still had trouble reading Mickey but he supposed that would come in time even with someone as unpredictable as him. 

Mickey kept glimpsing away from the game to his hands holding the thick piece of paper, the invitations probably cost more than his families food bill for the month before he eventually chucked his controller at Iggy and turned to him expectantly.

“Whatcha got there Red?” He’d started to call him that over the weekend but he could see it was a term of endearment. He handed him the invitation to read and waited for him to finish.

When he looked back up at him he just dived in. “You wanna come with me?” He was hopeful but he wouldn’t be disappointed if he said no.

He couldn’t gage what his response would be, his face was blank before he answered holding up the invitation. “This that Simon dude you told me about? The one you had Mandy meet and pretend to be your girlfriend?” 

He chuckled trying to lighten the mood, “Yeah Mick, same guy but no pressure, I can take Mandy with me.”

“When did you get this?” He was still holding it up but his face now looked slightly pinched, like he was holding back.

Fuck. “Friday when I got home, he also texted me maybe half an hour before asking if I got it.” He said as politely as he could not wanting to keep anything from him.

“Can I see.” It wasn’t a question. His hand already waiting expectantly so Ian pulled his phone from his jeans pocket before unlocking it and handing it over with a small smile.

He watched Mickey’s face as he scrolled through the thread, then go back through it again. It didn’t change when he’d finally finished and spoke. “You’re not going.”

Wait, what? He thought incredulously. “Excuse me? This is for my career Mick, I have to go.”

“Why? So, some northside army boy fag can come onto you all night? I don’t fucken think so.” He said with finality.

He tried to defuse the situation, make him understand it’s importance. He rubbed his thigh soothingly, “I understand if you don’t want to go, I’m not really ready to come out to them anyway but there’s gonna be some important people there. I’m going Mick and I’ll take Mandy as my date, she’d tear his eyes out if he tried anything with her there.”

Suddenly he was on his feet pacing before the TV, the game left idle, Iggy and Mandy still as statues their eyes focused on the floor. Ian watched him though, watched him pace while waiting for him to either lose his shit or accept his decision. 

A minute, maybe a bit more went by before he came to a stop, his face clearly not in favor before he snapped. “No fucken way! You’re not going and that’s that.”

Ian jumped to his feet after picking up the invitation and his cell before he snapped right back at him. “I don’t remember asking your permission, I only asked you to be my date!” 

“Well I fucken said no.” He stated bluntly.

Ian rubbed the back of his neck trying to calm himself, to think before he spoke but make it clear it was his choice. “As I said, you don’t have to come but I’m going Mickey, no two ways about it.”

“And I said you’re not!” He growled at him.

Ian couldn’t hold back any longer as he scoffed. “You know what… fuck you!” He stormed into the bedroom picking up his backpack and stuffing his school books into it, blocking out whatever the fuck Mickey was yelling at him from the living room.

When he came back out he glared at Mickey waiting to see if he had anything else he wanted to add but he just glared right back at him, his face a lovely shade of red he thought. “Thank you for a wonderful weekend.” He said sarcastically before making his way to the door.

Mickey called out behind him, “She’s not fucken going and you’re not fucken going!”

Ian swung back around so fast he felt a twinge in his neck before responding as pleasantly as possible. “I can always find another date or just go alone but I’m fucken going whether you like it or not.” He inclined his head and left slamming the door behind him.

******

Mickey didn’t remember 90% of the night before but he knew he’d drunk way too much, again. If it wasn’t for the throbbing pain in his head or the nausea he felt as he once again found himself hugging the toilet then the empty bottle of Jack and the started one on his bedside table let him know.

The only thing he did know was that he’d fucked up yet again. Everything had been going to good these last 6 weeks, he even made himself think before speaking half the time when it came to Ian but he’d really stuck his foot in it this time. He’d let his mouth runaway without thinking before his brain could catch up, even Mandy refused to speak to him after Ian’s dramatic exit. 

He was still determined to keep Ian here with him next year, he’d even been looking into different career choices for him. He was prepared to pay for Ian to go to college with Mandy but even he realized it was too soon to discuss, he’d already decided to wait until the new year to bring it up. Hell, he’d even thrown out the ‘faulty’ fucken condoms he was so positive Ian would change his mind and not want to leave but he didn’t think of that first before opening his big dumbass mouth.

Right now he didn’t know if he should be happy Ian had told him about that guy and the whole Mandy girlfriend kissing him bullshit. They had laughed at the time although he’d watched Mandy a lot closer after that. Was knowing better cause it sure as fuck hadn’t helped yesterday. Fuck, it was Monday too, his busiest day and he couldn’t drag his ass off this damn floor it felt so good. Maybe just staying here a while longer would help, just a short nap on the cool tiles would fix the whole thing including his hangover from fucken hell.

******

When he came to again there was no longer sun coming through the bathroom window, he was curious what the time was and wished he’d brought his phone with him but there hadn’t been time. He was hungry as a mother fucker and ever so slightly happy the thought of food didn’t turn his stomach. He needed a peperoni pizza and he needed it now, maybe a few litres of water too wouldn’t hurt. 

He wasn’t quite ready to stand so he crawled to his bedroom door and pulled himself up by the handle, made sure he had his bearings before slowly opening the door. He was nearly blinded by the living room lights and tried to call out to Iggy to turn them off but he was so dehydrated he couldn’t get out more than a grunting noise, was like the Sahara Desert had taken up residency in his fucken mouth. Thus, began his trek to the kitchen for water with help from the wall and various pieces of furniture he passed on his way.

He downed a few bottles before deciding he could handle a beer and struggled to the dining table to sit down. Fuck. “Iggy.” He called out just loud enough for him to hear. “Advil and order me a peperoni pizza.” 

He couldn’t follow his brother’s movements, they made him feel like he was on a fucken amusement ride at a fair. He fought with the childproof lid on the bottle Iggy had put in front of him for nearly the time it took for his food to be ordered and washed down a couple with his beer. That done he crossed his arms and rested his head on them willing the world to slow down.

He jumped when he heard Iggy’s voice. “Oy! You might wanna shower before it gets here. You fucken reek man.” He lent down and sniffed himself, shit. The smell of himself made his stomach curl, he hadn’t even realized he was only wearing boxers too. Using the furniture and the wall again he made his way back to his room now desperate to feel clean.

He showered in near dark, a faint light coming from his bedside lamp as he went through the motions of washing his hair and body while leaning on the wall to keep him upright before stumbling the metre or so to his room to fish out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He had to sit to get dressed, it was harder than walking but he didn’t linger.

Was easier the second time around, he barely needed the furniture as he made his way to the lounge and plonked himself down before the pizza and beer waiting for him. He ate ignoring his brother who left him to change his bed linen, no request needed thank goodness. No fucken way could he manage it right now, he couldn’t get off the lounge if the house caught fire. 

He made it halfway through his dinner, Iggy having rejoined him before it dawned on him how quiet the house was. Between bites he asked, “Mandy in bed?” He still had no idea what the fucken time was.

“Not here.” He answered him plainly not bothering to take his eyes of the TV.

What type of fucken answer was that! He snapped, “Well where the fuck is she? Is dark outside.” Just cause he was enjoying not having to listen to her loud music she played most nights from her room didn’t mean he didn’t worry, especially after dark on a school night.

Iggy used a few more words this time but with the same lack of interest. “Packed her shit, said she’d be home in a week.”

Headache be damned he raised his voice. “And you fucken let her? Where tha fuck is she?” He didn’t need a response, he already knew.

Iggy turned his head to face him, “You need me to answer that?”

Fuck it, he’d deal with her shit later he thought changing subjects. “We got a busy day tomorrow, gotta catch up on today.”

“Just need the money for the shops, I done the rest.” Iggy stood up. “I’m off to bed, night.” He went to walk away.

What? “Wait up. What’s the fucken time?”

He got his cell out his pocket. “Nearly 10, you missed the whole day.” 

He’d lost a whole fucken day, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone a day without speaking to Ian. His appetite gone he threw his half-eaten piece back in the box and noticed Iggy had put his cell on the table. He picked it up fully expecting to see texts from Ian apologizing for the way he’d left the day before but there was nothing. Not even a text from his brothers or Mandy asking if she could go.

“Fuck’em all!” He said loudly to the empty room as he snatched the smokes off the coffee table.

******

Mandy packed a suitcase fully intending on staying the week. She’d let Ian know the night before and told him to confirm them both for Saturday night, they were fucken going whether her asshole brother liked it or not. Iggy offered to drive her over when he saw her wheel her case out her room not 15 minutes ago no questions asked. She let herself in to the chaos that was a typical Gallagher morning, Fiona peaking her head out the kitchen to see who was there. “You moving in.” She joked.

She gave her a small nod before lugging he case up the stairs to Ian’s room finding it empty. She could hear the shower and presumed it was him so she made her way back downstairs. Fiona already had a plate of eggs and toast waiting for her, she was fucken starved. She’d been so angry the night before she’d gone to bed early and not eaten.

She could tell Fiona was biting her tongue, obviously having no idea why Ian had come home early but it wasn’t for her to say. She forestalled her questions speaking first, “Thanks Fi, I’m right with the kids if you’re ready to go.”

She watched her hesitate for a moment, “Thanks Mandy, lunches are done. I’ll see you guys after school yeah.” The kids all said bye and thankfully she left. 

Not long after Ian made an appearance trudging down the stairs moping. She watched him pour himself a coffee and lean on the bench picking at his food. She found his behavior fascinating, never having witnessed it before and it reminded her of the girls at school when they were miserable over some guy. She bit the inside of her cheek when she felt herself about to giggle and tasted blood. Serves her right she thought feeling bad she’d nearly laughed at her best friend. Instead she busied herself getting the younger ones moving and out the door.

She cleared the table then it was time for them to go. Ian’s plate was still more than half full but he didn’t protest when she took it away. She picked up their bags shoving his into his chest and directed him towards the door. When they got to the street she took his hand giving him no choice but to move at her pace. She was fucken glad the closest she’d come to falling for a guy had been when she’d met Ian only to be disappointed when she’d freaked him out.

They were nearly at school and he still hadn’t spoken but they had too much shit to do before the weekend. “We’re leaving at lunch, I found a rental place with suits and they need a few days for any adjustments, there’s also a few dress shops nearby for me. Did you RSVP last night?” He nodded. Fuck this was gonna be a bitch of a day.

******

It was Thursday now and Mickey was ready to punch the next fucker that spoke to him the wrong way. For 4 fucken days Mandy had deliberately ignored his texts and Ian had sent him none. He hadn’t sent him any either but that wasn’t the point. He refused to cave, to chase him like some bitch when Ian knew how he felt. 

He’d made a point of staying away from the shop not wanting to get into anything with Fiona or risk bumping into Ian even if he only worked Tuesdays and Thursdays now. Fuck knows what he’d told her, and he really didn’t want to get into an argument with her. He really liked her, first person outside his family he could call a friend but he also knew she would stand up to anyone to protect her young, made him like her even more. He wished Mandy would at least answer him so he could find out what the fuck had been said to her or not.

He was so distracted by his anger he didn’t even realise he’d parked across the road from that damn shop. He didn’t fully remember starting the car after leaving his accountants office. There was too much fucking with his head to keep his mind straight and the longer he went without seeing/speaking to Ian was making it worse. Maybe he just needed to see him, a small hit of Ian from his car might be enough to stop him from giving in first. 

The weather wasn’t helping him either, it was grey and downright depressing, typical for October mirroring his own mood. The people walking by already wearing their winter coats if they were lucky enough to have them, faces already turned pallid more fitting for where they lived, any colour they may have held from summer long gone. That just made him miss Ian more, his milky white skin that blended with his so flawlessly. 

Before Ian he hadn’t given two fucks how people looked and why the fuck should he. No one gave a fuck about him and his siblings growing up. No one had cared when they saw his brothers on the streets in threadbare jackets if they were lucky enough at the time to own any or they’d been cold enough to just take them off others to keep themselves warm as they did their fathers bidding or simply just went out to shoplift so they could eat. No one in the southside gave a fuck about the Milkovich kids growing up in this shithole and until now he hadn’t really noticed anyone other than his family too. 

He didn’t feel concern or a need to help the many strangers walking the streets he just seemed to be more aware of them. Before he’d met Ian his life had only centred on his immediate family, the only ones he could trust and his drive to make a better life for them and he’d done that. Him. Not any of these fuckers he now saw but him. He’d done the work, he’d made sure his family had food and heat and now that he’d embraced Ian, Fiona and the kids into his world he felt a loss at not seeing them after 4 fucken days.

He was sleep deprived, stuck in a foul mood that wouldn’t lift no matter how much weed he smoked. His brothers deliberately avoided any contact with him outside of business when previously they’d drop by the house every second day or so, even Iggy had become wary around him only initiating conversation if it was work or dinner related. It wasn’t until this week that he’d registered how much Ian being in his life had changed it without him even knowing. 

Fuck knows how long he’d been sitting in his car but the shop was now closed so it had to be after 8. He could just make out Ian and Mandy moving about inside filling shelves, it was Thursday and he knew that was stocktake night. Part of him wanted to just stroll through the store and take himself up to his office which would be plausible, they all knew he worked from upstairs a few times a week but he didn’t trust himself not to stick his foot in his mouth again.

“Fuck!” He nearly shit himself when he heard a tapping on his window, it was Iggy. He pushed the button for it to come down and felt a blast of chilly air.

Iggy had a blank face just like he’d had all week when they’d spoken, “Imma drive them home in a few, you want I should pick up some dinner?”

He made an effort to give him small grateful smile, it was hard fucken work but he knew Iggy was looking out for him. “Yeah, Chinese sounds good, see you at home.” He put his window back up and drove off.

******

Ian woke up all warm and toasty with a Milkovich spooning him close. As much as he loved his best friend he would rather wake to the feel of muscles against his back than breasts. Fuck he missed his over protective, controlling, asshole of a ‘boyfriend’. He was still pissed off with him but not for blatantly telling him he couldn’t go but because of his lack of trust. Just because he’d been having second thoughts about WestPoint he still had no right to dictate his actions even if he secretly coveted the way it made him feel, the comfort he felt for the first time in his life. Mickey’s personality and the way he’d began opening himself emotionally only made him miss him more.

Both his and Mandy’s alarms went off at the same time, 9am. They had so much shit to do today to get ready for tonight, for the reason him and Mickey weren’t speaking. They showered forgoing breakfast to eat brunch out at Mandy’s request before getting their hair done, him a trim while she was having some updo or whatever crap that took an hour but looked amazing. Next it was nails which he refused when he found out she’d booked him a manicure, he wasn’t that fucken gay. Then they picked up his suit and shoes that she’d chosen and her dress before making it home just before 4pm. 

After an uncomfortable hour of chatting with Fiona and V, still dodging questions about him and Mickey it was time to get ready. He played on his phone while Mandy got dressed and did her makeup only getting himself ready when she was done and somehow he was still waiting on her. Then it was time for the compulsory photos Fiona had insisted on taking which when he looked at them he was rather impressed. The only way anyone at tonight’s party would think them southside is if they knew. The uber arriving saved them from further fawning but sent his nerves through the roof, as beautiful as Mandy looked he wished it was Mickey by his side. 

Between his anxiety and Mandy’s incessant chatter neither of them noticed the Escalade following behind.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red is the spice of life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the dinner party. This chapter nearly got away from me like the last and it's a little bit longer than the rest. I profusely apologise for any and all grammar mistakes but I'm finishing this at 4am when I should have been passed out hours ago. I hope you all enjoy Ian and Mandy's night on the northside.

 

“Could you have picked a more conspicuous fucken vehicle.” Mickey snapped at his brother while considering buying one for himself, Ian would love this and the space, hmmm.

“You said hire something, you never said we were impersonating the fucken ‘Hardy Boys’.” At least that new weed had opened his brothers mouth. 

Mickey waved his hand around replying, “Less talking more driving and don’t fucken lose ‘em.” That was actually a pointless statement considering the uber account was his and he could see the address Mandy had entered on the booking.

Part of Mickey wished he’d agreed to go now, especially after seeing the asshole lived in Lincoln Park but he refused to admit to himself he was jealous. He was just protective of what was his and Ian was his, he’d even told him he was his. Fuck, Ian had told him how into him this ‘Simon whatever fuckface’ was but Ian hadn’t touched him, had gone out of his way to make sure the guy knew he had a girlfriend so yeah, he probably did make more of it than he should’ve. 

His brains were feeling like scrabbled fucken eggs now with all the thoughts mixing together. Ian had no interest in the guy. Ian hadn’t fucked him. Ian was single when he’d met him and kept it in his pants the whole 6 weeks. Ian still wanted him when he got back and Ian hadn’t met up with the guy once since returning.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He’d been doing so well up till now even thinking most of the time before speaking and trying to not be too controlling and not once had Ian told him off when he was overly bossy. Ian accepted him for who he was, thrived on the attention he gave him and seemed content with his domineering ways. He may not be speaking to him right now but he hadn’t ended it, hadn’t told him they were over, just had a bitch fit and walked out. Truth be told, if Ian had simply done what he’d wanted after telling him he was going then he may have lost some respect for him. He didn’t want a yes/no boyfriend, he wanted Ian how he was, more submissive in their relationship but not some snivelling little bitch.

He was in his own world while Iggy drove missing his Ian but his jealousy was ruling his actions. Fuck he missed him, felt like he’d lost a part of himself but he wasn’t ready to admit that to himself just yet, tried to hide those feelings from himself but they were there and the immensity of them terrified him though not enough to keep him away.

“We’re here.” He hadn’t felt the car stop or the engine shut off until he heard his brother’s voice. They were one house down because one fucken house was like 4 or 5 where they came from and he could see Ian exit the uber and reach back in to help Mandy out.

“Fuck me!” He was in shock, he’d never seen anything so beautiful as Ian in that moment and Mandy didn’t look too bad herself. He was wearing a perfectly fitted suit, not quite denim blue but not as dark as navy blue with the buttons done up, a crisp white shirt and a grey tie. He looked like he was modelling for GQ magazine. And Mandy, she’d never looked so elegant and he sure as fuck never thought he’d say that word about his sister. Her hair was pulled back loosely to the nape of her neck and wrapped into some sort of puffy bun type thing. Her dress was definitely northside, you’d never guess either of them were born and breed elsewhere. He knew the colour was electric blue cause she’d bought him a shirt that shade, it only had one shoulder and the material seemed to wrap itself around her not leaving anything to the imagination and came down to her knees, they actually made a picture-perfect couple. Fuck, now he knew he was gay, felt like banging his head on the dashboard. 

So now he was sitting here like some creep watching, wanting to be the one walking towards the huge house with his arm hooked into Ian’s, fuck, maybe not hooked together like some old queens but be by his side all dressed up and proud to show off his red, his Ian who’s escorting his damn sister instead of him.

******

While the uber drove, Mandy gave him orders for how they were to behave when they arrived. He sat facing her as she told him what she’d studied online about dinner parties and fancy ass shit as she referred to their evening. Don’t stare but subtly look around throwing out the occasional comment about how beautiful something looks or just shut his mouth and let her speak for them. Compliment Simons mother on the meal or agree when Mandy did and smile. Remember to use his cutlery from the outside in or glance her way when they were served and follow her lead. Fuck, it sounded stressful and he missed Mickey.

Mandy looked stunning, she’d really done an amazing job choosing their clothes, ensuring they matched down to their shoes but a small part of him, no, a big part of him wished Mickey was by his side instead of his best friend. If he wasn’t gay he knew Mandy would be it for him, they had everything going for them except physical attraction. He also knew that Mickey was it for him, had known for a while now and the distance was killing him up until a few minutes ago when he’d realised they were being followed.

He wasn’t sure at first, he didn’t recognize the vehicle and the windows were tinted but it had been right behind them since they’d left the southside and now that they’d arrived it had parked within throwing distance. 

He helped Mandy out the car and couldn’t help but grin, he didn’t even notice the enormous home in front of them. “You seem in good spirits or are you practicing your acting skills for tonight.” She joked.

He took her arm and slipped it into his as they walked slowly. “Whatever you do don’t! and I mean don’t. turn. around and face the road.” He told her firmly and hoped she listened.

She cocked an eyebrow at him in question. “We’re being followed.” He said excitedly, positive the vehicle contained Mickey and probably Iggy too. Just the thought of a jealous Mickey was turning him on, they’d been apart too long, even one day was too much not to speak or touch him in some way.

She replied, “Don’t you turn back either, I’m sure we’ll hear from them two assholes sooner or later.” She giggled briefly before she squeezed his arm reassuringly, “Let’s have a quick smoke before we go in, they might be those I hate smoking types.” They stopped and Mandy took a cigarette from her purse lighting it and inhaling deeply before passing it to him.

“Oh. Fuck. Me.” Mandy’s eyes were focused on the house or maybe it was a fucken mansion in front of them. Neither had paid any attention when they’d arrived, she’d been so busy with her last minute lessons for this evening for them to pay attention to what was in front of them. 

Cigarette now forgotten they both stared up at a 3-story red sandstone house unlike anything they’d ever seen before. They could only imagine how many rooms were behind the breathtaking façade which had more windows on one floor than either of their homes altogether and a turret on one side. 

When Ian was able to pick his jaw up off the ground he nudged Mandy and spoke in a hushed tone. “Mandy, we better get in there now before they notice.” She just kept staring so he nudged her harder and hissed this time. “Mandy, your fucking up your own rules and your brothers can see us.” 

That appeared to work, “Ok, ok, let’s get this shit done and remember no fucken staring.” Her confidence back like they hadn’t been gawking for the last 5 minutes as she took his arm again and they walked up the front stairs and rang the bell.

******

By the time they were ushered to the dining table they both knew they would be covered in small bruises from the amount of times they’d pinched each other’s sides. Simon had given them a brief tour of the downstairs area of the house addressing all conversation towards Ian but it was Mandy who continuously answered which was markedly pissing him off. Every time she commented to any of his obvious bragging she’d follow up with ‘Isn’t that lovely ‘snuggle muffin’, then Ian would answer ‘yes honey bun’ and place a soft kiss on her cheek.

He only showed them half of downstairs before his mother had called them but they’d seen enough. 3 different living rooms all with lounge suits so large you could get lost in them all in shades of beige and coffee tables buy the dozen. Plush carpet adorned the rooms also in beige, it appeared to be a standard fixture in all rooms including the walls. All the paintings and there were a fuckton were all light shades of blues, pinks and more fucken beige. The only room that had any real colour was a ‘billiards room’ which of course held a billiard table, a bar and surprisingly the lounges in this room were green, probably to match the table. Without even speaking they both thought, ‘they must’ve have hired a decorator’. The outside may have been stunning but the inside was boring as fuck except for the sweeping staircase in the ‘foyer’ as Simon called the entrance, which was higher than either of the houses. 

They made their way to the dining room, Simon leading the way as Ian and Mandy followed hands clasped tightly together. He introduced them to his parents Mr and Mrs Simons causing Mandy to let out a slight squeal which she promptly covered with a totally fake sneeze and apologised, she had allergies which she blamed on the 3 small fluffy white dogs who seemed as eager for attention as Simon, he quickly removed them.

Simons mother introduced them to two men and their wives who were some bigshots in the army but they both forgot their names immediately they were so overwhelmed. Ian introduced Mandy to 3 other future cadets he’d be attending WestPoint with, all males but only one of them had brought a date whose nose was held up so high she barely looked at them.

As they all went to their seats which had name cards placed before them Mandy picked up the excited look on Simon’s face, his seat was to Ian’s left and hers to his right but she was prepared. “Simon…” she put on a soft pleading voice after he’d already seated himself and swapped her card with Ian’s. “Ian’s told me so much about you, I hope you don’t mind me in the middle so we can get to know each other better.” She delicately rested her hand on his shoulder before moving so Ian could help her into her seat giving him no option but to comply, a forced smile on his face.

“You comfortable honey bun?” Ian asked her lovingly.

She beamed at him, “Yes thankyou snuggle muffin.” But inside they both cringed.

The table at least had some colour, where the furnishings were bland, the table looked flawless. It was still neutral, white tablecloth and napkins but it was adorned with 3 large gold candelabras that held 4 white candles each which had recently been lit. They had 3 different pieces of dinnerware, white as well but with gold edging and 3 sets of cutlery that looked heavy and golden. The wine glasses before them had matching gold edging like the plates and looked so delicate neither of them wanted to touch them.

Ian leaned over and whispered in Mandy’s ear, “This is wigging me the fuck out.”

She replied lovingly just loud enough to reach Simon’s ears, “I feel the same way but wait till we get home you naughty boy.” Then she chuckled.

Most of the talking seemed to be between the ‘adults’ that were at the other end of the table which was a relief but at the same time felt pointless as they’d only come for that reason. Besides the introductions neither of them spoke to any of the future cadets and little was being said at their end too.

Simon appeared put out with Mandy between them and every time he leaned either forward or backwards to engage Ian in conversation Mandy picked the exact same time to move with him or to turn to him and ask something pointless. This only went on for a few minutes thankfully as the first of 4 servers entered the room and started to place small salads by their plates and baskets of small fancy rolls, Mandy and himself both refusing wine and accepting water instead. It wouldn’t look good for Ian to be drinking underage but the other’s had no qualms. They both looked momentarily confused as their plates were now removed.

Ian didn’t touch the food until he saw which fork people around them used forgetting just to follow Mandy’s lead and was about to put the first fork full of salad in his mouth when they all heard a commotion outside, everyone’s heads turning towards the large glass sliding doors that took up nearly a whole wall.

It was a crashing sound, like someone had dropped or knocked over something heavy and it broke followed by the loud yapping of the small fluffy dogs. As they all watched, Ian frozen with his fork halfway to his mouth they saw the dogs fly past the glass doors like speeding balls of fluff. At the same time Mandy clasped his leg digging her nails in severely, no doubt anxious for the same reason as him and making him startle.

The quiet was broken a few seconds later by Simon’s mother commenting on how’ high strung her preciouses were and sensitive to the slightest noise, the neighbours upset them to no end’. The barking had nearly died down as the 3 fluff balls strolled back the way they’d come before everyone turned back to their food, Ian forcing himself to swallow as Mandy unhooked her claws from his leg.

“What type of dogs are they Simon?” Mandy asked casually.

Ian watched him fake a smile. “Maltese Terriers, my mother adores them.” He paused before asking Ian. “Do you like dogs?”

He couldn’t lie, Simon had seen his interest in the dogs at the base but he still tried to be dismissive. “Yes I do but I’m more a cat person.” That was true too.

Fuck, it still perked him up, “When dinner is finished I’ll take you out to meet them.”

Mandy jumped in quickly, “Oh no, we’ll be up all night again with my sneezing, sorry Simon but it’s our…” She winked at him… “night together isn’t it snuggle muffin.” It wasn’t a question so he just smiled at her when she glanced his way.

The servers moved from their positions behind them and came around asking everyone what they’d prefer for entrée, Ian opting for grilled chicken with camembert sauce while Mandy chose stuffed artichoke flowers. After everyone was asked they made their way back to the kitchen only for one of them to walk briskly back to Simon’s mother to whisper in her ear, her face immediately turned red. 

She rose from her seat. “Please excuse me.” She looked constipated, Mandy again grabbing hold of his leg but keeping up a one sided conversation with Simon.

She returned moments later and cleared her throat politely to get everyone’s attention. “I apologise profusely but it seems my ‘preciouses’ have somehow gotten to the entrees, I hope you don’t mind if we proceed to the main meal.” While she sounded embarrassed she still addressed her dogs fondly.

Ian watched her return to her seat as the Generals assured her it was fine; these things happen but their wives both had snide looks on their faces, no doubt the country club snobs would know by tomorrow. Simon now avoided all eye contact which was a blessing, though it didn’t ease Ian’s worry over what was to come next as Mandy’s mask was starting to fall.

They had two choices again, Salmon coulibiac or Roast duck breast with maple syrup vinaigrette. When they were asked which they preferred Ian turned to Mandy, “I can’t decide, should we get one of each and share honey bun?” They’d already decided to share if there was more than one choice but he still asked her affectionately to which she nodded, he could tell they were yet again thinking the same, fuck. 

He would have noticed if they’d gotten their entrees that the dinner plates that had been before them when they’d sat down were now returned with their meals beautifully presented. He looked down to Mandy’s hands as there was still two forks and knives on the table and watched her hands hesitate before picking up the pair closest to the plate but not bringing them to her meal. 

He wasn’t sure what to do when she didn’t begin her meal but as her eyes locked onto his and she began to open her mouth to speak most of the people at the table began coughing loudly and grabbing for their drinks as cutlery dropped loudly onto plates.

Simon’s mother started screaming incoherently, servers rushed towards the guests that were sort of choking/coughing, Simon ran from the room unfortunately not having eaten but humiliated and the few who hadn’t started their meals, himself and Mandy included were all out of their seats and moving away from the table like it contained the plague.

Ian whisper yelled in Mandy’s ear, “I’m gonna fucken kill him!” She replied, “Get in fucken line!”

******

Mickey had no idea what the fuck to do now that they were here so he just sat in the car smoking and avoiding his brothers stare. He leaned back into the seat trying to rid his mind of thought and just focus on how comfortable he was before letting himself dwell on what may be going on inside that fucken red house that held his red captive.

His life had been simple before meeting Ian, not that he’d change that but all he had to concentrate on was business, money and when he’d felt like it he’d go out and bang a random twink or two never having to see them again. He was settled and well off financially but he hadn’t realised until he met his redheaded fuck that he was missing something and when he’d found it he had no idea what to do with it. 

Fuck feelings and fuck this rich fag that thought he could take what was his, he thought as he threw open the door and started to march across the street. He heard a second car door close and knew Iggy wasn’t far behind but he still had no fucken idea what to do so he stopped once he was in front of the house and waited for him to catch up.

Iggy spoke through a smoke in his mouth, “What we doing?”

He still had no fucken idea but he needed to know whatever the situation was inside and the best way to do that was to see. “We check out the windows, see if we can see ‘em first.” Sensible hmmm.

They moved stealthily and started to peek into each window as they came across them, both able to focus on what they were looking for and not the interior. Thank fuck for teenage years doing over northside homes, not much fazed them now and he nearly laughed thinking about Ian and Mandy seeing a house like this for the first time.

They had to jump a fence at the side of the house and by the time they past the 7th or 8th window they came to big sliding glass doors and saw the dining room. There was maybe a dozen people inside when he saw Ian, Mandy and he presumed that fucken Simon guy enter the room and be introduced to people. Shit, he wasn’t ugly like he’d hoped.

He felt his blood boil when he saw the way that rich fuck kept gazing longingly at Ian whenever Mandy’s gaze was averted but she always seemed to catch him and never let go of Ian’s hand until they reached the table. He felt some satisfaction and a tinge of jealousy over his sister’s predatory stance but it didn’t hurt that Ian hardly paid the guy any attention and Mandy seemed to be doing all the talking. When he saw her sit between them and the disappointed look on that fucks face he knew he had to do something.

The glass doors were closed but he could hear people talking quietly further up and see light coming from a doorway so he signalled Iggy to circle around the garden and headed for the door. It was the kitchen and no one was inside, they must’ve been serving he thought and slowly opened the door. 

There were plates laid out with entrees ready to be served and no idea what the fuck to do until he spotted dog bowls on the floor in some fancy ass stand and was that a fucken miniature water fountain? “Fuck.” He whispered shouted and pointed to the food then the floor near the bowls. These rich fucks wasted money on the stupidest things while an hour away people starved or froze.

They made fast work of that before moving to another bench which had main meals in a Bay Marie, he only knew what the food warmer was called cause he’d sold a few. He was starting to have fun until he heard his fucken sister’s voice filter into the room and got pissed again. He looked around and spotted a large spice rack, his eyes homed onto the first red spice he saw and he sprinkled just enough on the meat dish not to be noticeable before motioning Iggy to the door. He wondered briefly what it was he’d chosen but it was red so he expected it to give them as much grief as his red gave him or so he fucken hoped.

They were circling back around out of view of the dining room when they heard the sound of yapping dogs. He knew Iggy saw them first when he stated the obvious, “fuck Mick run!” He took off fast after his brother, both of them falling over large potted plants and smashing a few as they went, disappointed he’d miss the show when it was time for ‘dinner to be served’. Rich fucks stealing his red he thought bitterly. They nearly made it back to the fence when their ankles were attack by the white fluffy fucks, felt like at least 10 of them attacking them while they shook them off trying not to yell and hurdled themselves over the fence.

Neither of them landed on their feet though Mickey’s landing was slightly easier having Iggy to cushion his fall before rolling off him. He heard and felt the air leave his brother when he winded him and had to drag him up and pull him all the way back to the car in some sort of stumble like run. They somehow made it inside both trying to catch their breaths and looking out the dark windows to make sure they hadn’t been seen.

When he was finally able to speak Mickey smirked at Iggy, “fuck I wish we’d seen ‘em eat it.” He sniggered at the end.

Iggy snorted at him, “you wanna hope Mandy and Ian don’t eat that shit, she’ll kick your fucken ass for sure.”

Mickey’s face dropped, he hadn’t thought of that. Shit! He snapped, “gimme a fucken smoke.” Iggy did one better and lowered the windows before handing him a joint.

They’d each smoked their own, both now relaxing in their seats to wait for Ian and Mandy to leave when the back doors flung open and Mandy shrieked as they climbed in, “Drive you pair of fucken bastards!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thankyou all for your support, comments and kudos. They encourage me to continue :)


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unwelcomed visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNINGS**  
> I have added Terry to the story now as his character is needed for the next few chapters. This chapter contains violence towards Mandy and Ian and comments relatable to canon but I WON'T allow Mandy to be treated that way here.

43 minutes, that’s how fucken long the drive back to the southside took with not one word uttered from the 2 bitches sitting on the back seats, fumed through Mickey’s head. No wait, he thought, does a text count cause his sister sent him one telling him that Ian was sleeping at theirs so ‘drive straight home’. Maybe that was a good thing, Ian was coming home with him at the end of the night even if they weren’t speaking or even if anytime he peaked behind him he saw his sister leaning into Ian with his arms around her and they were whispering in each other’s ears nearly the whole way. Fuck.

Iggy had barely turned off the engine when he heard Ian opening the back door and helping Mandy out. They walked around the front of the car hand in hand, bitch faces firmly in place and up to the front door where he watched Ian take the keys off Mandy opening the front door and ushering her inside like they were on a real fucken date. He made himself follow not wanting to lose sight of Ian now that he finally had him back in view and quickly jogged up the stairs to see Mandy enter her room and Ian enter his closing the door behind him… Yes! he stopped himself from saying out loud.

He opened his bedroom door that Ian had closed after he entered and saw him looking in his wardrobe before pulling out a couple of hangers. He reclosed his door and sat at the foot of his bed to watch him undress and hopefully speak to him, at least get him to acknowledge he was fucken alive and here with him.

Ian kept his back to him as he shucked off his jacket and hung it up before he undid his shirt not slow, but a lot slower than one normally would. He pulled off his tie before slipping his arms through his sleeves and hanging them both. Mickey could feel his cock begin to throb in his pants from the sight of Ian’s back muscles as he undressed and moved his body. They flowed and flexed under his pale skin so perfectly he couldn’t pull his eyes away and he found himself unconsciously undoing his jeans which felt like they were strangling him.

Ian stepped out of his dress pants unhurriedly hanging them even slower than he’d done his shirt. He could hear Mickey’s heavy breathing behind him and was positive he had to be as hard as him but he was pissed after what he’d done tonight even if he secretly found it hilarious. He continued to ignore him and now bent down to the bottom draw which he knew was filled with sweat and t-shirts barely having to wait long enough to stand back upright before feeling hands running over his lower back, hips and ass.

Mickey was on his knees behind Ian unable to keep his hands to himself any longer. He hadn’t had sex with more than his hand in a week and all he could think of was swallowing Ian’s cock as he ran his hands over his hard muscles, kneading his ass and pushing his face into his soft warm skin as he pulled his boxers down just enough to feel his bare ass. He bit gently and sucked on the flesh of his hips hard enough to bruise as he turned Ian slowly around so he could get to his cock which he found as hard as his. 

Ian had yet to touch Mickey in any way but couldn’t help the hitch in his breath when he began nuzzling him through his boxers before freeing his cock and licking up the length of him before taking the head into his mouth sucking gently and teasing with his tongue. He fought with himself not to look down but couldn’t stop his hand finding its way into Mickey’s hair and carding his fingers through it before taking hold of it and pushing himself further into his mouth.

Mickey wanted to throw Ian onto his bed and fuck him senseless but he knew he owed him and the feel of Ian’s cock in his mouth was making his own cock leak as he freed it from his jeans and slowly tugged it with his free hand, his other caressing Ian’s abs and running over his defined V line. He let him take control as his fingers weaved their way into his hair and started to pull his head towards him, his cock pulsing as it went further into his mouth until more than half filled it. He wished he’d gotten drunk tonight just so he could take him in fully but he still wasn’t used to his size and his only experience was sucking Ian’s cock so he went at a leisurely pace making sure he gave everything he had.

Ian couldn’t help his grip tightening in Mickey’s hair wanting nothing more than to fuck his mouth hard and deep but didn’t want to hurt him, though he did feel like using him, not sure if he was still angry or just overly horny. He found himself holding the side of his face and softly running his thumb over his cheek, occasionally pushing it in alongside his cock. He finally looked down and saw the sparkling blue eyes he adored looking up at him while his mouth stretched to take him in and couldn’t stop himself pushing in just a little bit further and speeding up his movements as he felt himself getting close.

When Ian looked down at him Mickey had to hold onto one of Ian’s hips to stop himself gagging, his other hand tugging himself harder as he felt his own orgasm coming. “Fuck Mick…” he heard Ian mutter as he stopped his head moving and pushed in to the point of choking him coming hot and heavy down his throat as he struggled to swallow, his own body releasing into his hand.

As Ian pulled out of Mickey’s mouth he watched a string of cum run out the corner and wiped it with his thumb before licking it clean. The expression on his face as he peered up at him was full of desire while he smirked, a look of ‘I fucken win’ plastered across it but he was far from letting him off no matter how much he felt his cock twitch.

Mickey sat on his knees gazing up at Ian as he felt his own cum soaking through his jean covered lap, the taste in his mouth making him want more. He could tell Ian wanted him just as much watching him tuck his half hard cock back into his boxers but his face slowly turned from ‘I want to fuck you’, to pissed once again. His eyes followed Ian now as he picked up his clothes making his way to the door and left closing it behind him without a glance back, the sound of Mandy’s door doing the same seconds later.

“What the fuck!” He said loud enough to be heard in the next bedroom. He obviously wasn’t forgiven yet.

 

******

Ian woke the same way he’d woken up for the past week, his best friend spooning him and breast squashed into his back. His stomach growling seemed to draw an answering growl from hers and he could tell she was waking too from the way she was starting to squirm. 

“I’m fucken starving.” Mandy mumbled in his ear. They’d missed out on dinner thanks to her brothers.

“Am gonna send Mickey a text.” He answered deciding to let him redeem himself even if he already had last night. He reached blindly towards the floor alongside the bed where he dropped his phone the night before.

It wasn’t quite 8am but if he didn’t get McDonalds in the next 5 minutes he felt like he would explode, though he knew it was a 10 minute drive depending on traffic which was non existing this early on a Sunday morning.

 

Ian>>>If you go buy me 4 bacon and egg muffins and hash browns I’ll let you fuck me…

 

Fuck, he quickly sent another text.

 

Ian>>>Please babe and something for Mands xox

 

Maybe 2 seconds after he sent the second text he heard banging coming from Mickey’s room followed by the door hitting the wall and stomping footsteps rushing out the front door. He’d never been so turned on listening to someone leave a house, especially with his stomach continuously crying out for food.

He tried to extricate himself from Mandy’s arms but she held on tighter, her face buried into his back as she giggled. “How the fuck did you do that?” She sounded impressed.

He wiggled out of her grip and stood stretching feeling the odd pop in his shoulders. He smirked, “Offered to let him fuck me.” A pillow hit his chest before he’d finished his sentence.

Mandy sat up with a nasty look on her face. “Ewww, now I’m gonna think of my brother fucking you while I eat asshole.”

Ian successfully dodged the second pillow aimed at him before running out the room and going into Mickey’s so he could pee and brush his teeth, his toothbrush was in his bathroom after all. He was in and out within a few minutes making his way to the kitchen for a drink only to be hit over the head with a lounge cushion. He quickly scooped it up from the floor where it had landed and started to chase Mandy around the living room trying to hit her back but she was fast. She eventually tripped trying to climb over the lounge landing on her stomach on so he took the opportunity to pounce on her and proceeded to tickle her into hysterics. 

After considerable begging Ian eased up getting off Mandy and pulling her to her feet when she reached out a hand. She huffed while still holding onto him, “Fucken… bastard… you… wait.” 

They were both grinning at each other and getting a hold of their breathing when the front door was aggressively thrown open making them both jump. 

It wasn’t Mickey.

 

******

 

Ian had seen Terry Milkovich around the neighborhood but he’d never met him. He had however heard of his reputation and knew from Mandy how he’d treated his sons growing up, they’d been able to shelter her being several years younger so she hardly ever had contact with him. 

His voice was penetrating and shocking when it reached their ears, “What tha fuck!” He glared at them from the doorway, his face red and angry. “Get your hands off my fucken wife!”

His statement froze both Ian and Mandy, their minds temporarily confused making them hold onto each other tighter, neither truly having any idea what the furious man meant or was capable of until he charged.

Between their shock and Terry’s fury they didn’t realize he was before them until Mandy was ripped away from Ian and pulled behind her father and Ian was punched in the jaw sending him sprawling over the coffee table just missing connecting with the TV.

Ian wasn’t knocked out just dazed but Mandy’s screaming helped him get himself back up and Terry’s words chilled him. “Fucken cheating slut, I’ll teach you!” Ian heard a loud slap as he hoisted himself up. 

Before he had a chance to move he watched Terry pick Mandy up by the neck and shove her into the wall behind her holding her up and against it while her legs dangled beneath her and her scream was choked off. It was the blood trailing down her ghost white face and her bulging terrified eyes that made something snap inside of Ian as he hurdled the lounge to get to her.

As Ian started punching Terry in the side of the face repeatedly till he dropped Mandy to the carpet Iggy had just rushed through the basement door from his room into the kitchen after being woken by his sister’s screams. At the same time Mickey parked his car out front hearing the same screams and rushing into the house to see his sister land on the floor and Ian attacking his father. 

Mickey knew his father was high, probably on meth cause the hits Ian was giving him would have knocked out someone twice his size but all he did was grin evilly and turn attacking Ian back and punched him a few times till he dropped to the floor too. 

Mickey jumped onto his father’s back causing them both to topple backwards and land on the floor with him stuck under Terry’s weight but not for long before Iggy pulled Terry off him but kept him pinned down by his knee on his chest now punching their father into unconsciousness. 

Time seemed to lag as Mickey looked from his sister cowering in his boyfriend’s arms to his brother breathing heavily over their father, blood dripping from his right fist which was still elevated but motionless above their father’s immobile body. As his brain caught up he shot off a text to one of his other brothers, Jamie he thought and also sent one to Fiona knowing he’d need help and that he could trust her.

Mandy was safe for now so he went to Iggy first and carefully pulled him off their father. His body was still poised to attack and Mickey could feel it vibrating under his hands. He’d never witnessed Iggy in this state before but he’d been this way too many times not to know the slightest thing could trigger another violent reaction.

The sound of tyres screeching to a holt and footsteps running into the house were the only sounds besides Mandy’s erratic breathing and quiet whimpers that Mickey had heard for the last few minutes as he sat on the carpet next to Iggy making sure he didn’t attack their father again, they didn’t need to hide a body on top of everything else that had happened.

“What tha fuck happened here!?” Jamie barked looking between the 2 pairs sitting close to each other incredulously, Joey right behind him. 

Ian answered in a tone Mickey had never heard before, a combination of disgust and hatred lacing his words as he held Mandy protectively in his lap, her face buried in his chest, her body curled into itself and trembling but no longer making any sound. “He thought she was your Mom, accused her of cheating.” She made a small squeak and somehow managed to burrow herself deeper into Ian’s body.

The two eldest and biggest brothers entered the room fully now not asking any further questions, both taking an end of their father and picking him up leaving the house but not before speaking again. “Call us and let us know what we’re doing with it.” Jamie spoke coldly as they walked out the door without looking at anyone.

Mickey was helping Ian to stand up while he held Mandy who refused to let go of the hold she had on him as a flustered Fiona jogged into the house taking it all in but not uttering a word. Her eyes went wide as they homed in on her brother, she moved to help Mickey get him up and walk them both to the lounge to sit down. Mickey left them briefly before returning with a large first aid kit that had never been used for more than a scraped knee on his sister he thought bitterly.

He left Fiona to tend them and made Iggy go with him to the kitchen to clean his hand. After washing away the blood he could see he’d split his knuckles, possibly broken 1 or 2 from the swelling he could see and wrapped it in a tea towel before taking him back to the living room and pushing him into an arm chair before fetching a bag of frozen peas. 

Iggy didn’t flinch when he placed the cold bag on his hand but he did indicate with the other that he wanted a joint. Mickey got the ashtray off the dining table that held half a dozen and lit one up handing it to his brother after he had a couple of puffs himself. He waited for Iggy to smoke half before he took the peas away and unwrapped the towel from his hand before cleaning it properly with antiseptic. He flinched this time from the sting but didn’t pull his hand away letting Mickey wrapped it in a bandage when he was done.

His brother now tended to, he joined Fiona sitting on the now righted coffee table in front of Ian who still had a lap full of Mandy holding onto him in a death grip. Ian’s face had been cleaned but he had a noticeably bruised jaw, cheek and black eye that wasn’t too badly swollen on the left side of his face. They were both trying to coax Mandy’s face out of Ian’s chest with soft voices but she wouldn’t move. 

Ian’s eyes caught his pleading for help so he moved alongside him and lent in to whisper in his sister’s ear. “It’s safe now Mands, let Fi look after you k.” He touched her head gently running his fingers softly through her messy hair. It seemed to help. Maybe cause it was something new or maybe cause she was ready. Either way she lifted her head but kept her grip on Ian’s t-shirt. 

Mickey tried to compose himself when he saw his sister’s neck but could feel himself losing his shit. She had bruising in the shape of fingers on the left side of her neck and her eyes looked bloodshot. He jumped a tad when Fiona touched his leg and spoke mildly, “Mick, got anymore frozen peas?” He nodded and went to fetch them thankful for the distraction.

He came back with the 2 bags that were left in the freezer handing them to Fiona who placed one on Mandy’s cheek which he hadn’t noticed was bruised and the other now covered Ian’s eye. Ian reached for him with his free hand which he took and sat back down close to him forgetting how uncomfortable PDA made him feel. 

Mandy surprised him when he felt her light weight slowly crawl onto his lap. He didn’t know what to do with his free hand at first, he was only used to having Ian’s heavy body sit on him so intimately and he hadn’t held Mandy since she was little. Thankfully his boyfriend took the hand that he was holding and put it around his sister so he did the same with the other holding her like he’d do with Ian when he just wanted him close.

A few joints were now being passed around as Fiona made noise from the kitchen making a pot of coffee. Iggy and Mickey both had the same blank expressions on their faces as they stared at their baby sister who was now calmer thanks to the weed. Ian had been resting his face on Mickey’s shoulder and had an arm thrown lazily over his best friend when he started to gulp on nothing loudly.

All eyes were now on Ian as he stood abruptly. His face had turned a sickly shade of green and he ran to the bathroom with Fiona chasing after him and calling his name. Iggy knowingly sat next to Mickey pulling Mandy towards him without a care for his injured hand so he could follow. The sounds coming from Ian were obviously having an effect on Fiona as she rubbed his back soothingly but had a look on her face that said ‘I’m gonna throw up too’ as she kept her gaze on the door and tried to smile at Mickey when he entered. He made his was over to the side of Ian and crouched down, he had a stronger disposition than Fiona and luckily Ian was only dry retching now. 

Fiona spoke gently, “You eat something weird last night?” Ian shook his head but didn’t speak.

Mickey rubbed his bottom lip and felt her looking at him, “Umm…, I may have fucked up his dinner party just a bit so I don’t think he ate anything strange, don’t think he ate anything at all really. Probably the weed on an empty stomach.” He said guiltily.

Still hanging his head over the toilet Ian let out a small chuckle, “I’m fucken starving.”

“Fuck, I left the McDonalds in the car!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose not to get into Mandy and Ian's heads over the attack as I found it triggering personally and I'm sure we know them both well enough to understand how it would affect them.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiona has suspicions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already had most of this chapter written a few months ago hence the faster than usual update. I hope the dialogue with Terry doesn't feel ooc, I tried to keep him as we know him but I really hated writing him.

Money can do a lot of things Fiona thought as she sat beside Iggy in the car as he drove them to the high school Ian and Mandy attended. They had to take doctors certificates to the school after the doctor that Mickey had arrange to come over and checked them out after the incident the day before recommended they both take the week off to get over the physical trauma and avoid uncomfortable questions. She would have had to force Ian to go to the clinic where they would’ve sit for hours for a doctor to look at him and send him home like nothing had happened but Mickey simply made a phone call.

The school had accepted the story they’d been assaulted by someone unknown and they needed the week to recover but Fiona insisted they organize school work for them both, she didn’t want either of them falling behind and the distraction would be good. So now she found herself leaning against the car watching Iggy not quite pace but walk around aimlessly outside the school while they waited for the work to be ready but her mind was preoccupied with something else that was bothering her and she debated whether or not she could talk about it with him.

She would rather talk to Mickey, they had developed a close relationship in the last few months and she was very fond of her control freak friend, admired him and his determination. Fuck, he’d even bettered her and her sibling’s lives which had made her uncomfortable at first. She wasn’t stupid though, she’d worked out that his initial job offer was to get in good with her brother the moment his questions about Ian had seemed more than simply getting to know her and her family but it had turned into more between them. She really felt that even if Ian and him hadn’t worked out her and Mickey would have continued becoming close friends and she’d more than proven her loyalty to him obviously knowing things didn’t run as straight forward as they should in the shop. It was the southside after all and the only way to make money when you’re poor is to steal it or scam it if you wanted to survive.

Then the shit with the house. He’d been honest with her and insisting Ian didn’t know, that it stayed between just the two of them only confirmed his feelings weren’t fleeting but now she found herself preoccupied with Ian and the amount of times he’d been under the weather the last couple of weeks.

As much as she trusted V she knew there was a good chance she’d mention to Kev her concerns and he was never a 100% reliable when it came to keeping his mouth shut but she was feeling so anxious and the only person she could think of to confide in was stalking about in front of her. While she knew there was a good chance he’d mention her worries to Mickey she also knew no one else would find out and his opinion wouldn’t be as biased having the same distance as herself.

Her mind was so occupied she hadn’t even noticed the student that had brought out 2 large files and given them to Iggy until he was asking her if she was ready. As her mouth opened a sudden crack of thunder broke nearby making her jolt and Iggy let out a small laugh. She was usually so alert to her surroundings but hadn’t noticed the change in weather. She got in the car following his lead and thought fuck it, she needed to speak to someone and he was it.

“Iggy?” She kept her voice pleasant.

“Hmmm?”

“Do you think we can get a coffee before we go back to yours?”

“Sure.” He showed no curiosity to her request even though they’d never done anything like it before. Most of their interactions were work related or when both their families were together.

He surprised her when he parked outside of a Starbucks, one of many chain stores that had come with gentrification but was hardly ever frequented by real southsiders. She felt more confident in her choice of speaking to him, he’d clearly realized her need for privacy.

They settled at a table near the back away from the people that sat at the window tables liking to be seen after getting their jumbo size coffees and he sat patiently waiting for her to speak first. She bit the inside of her cheek as her eyes wondered about the café wondering if the other people around them had lives as complicated as her was right now and just blurted it out without thinking anymore about it. “Can I speak to you confidentially?”

Iggy was an expert in blank face when he wasn’t speaking to Mickey she’d picked up since knowing the brothers. “This about Terry?”

“No but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t worry me.” She paused briefly. “I don’t know if I can ask this of you, to maybe not mention this to Mickey or even if you can keep this from him but I need someone I can trust to talk to and Mickey is too close to what I’m thinking to speak to him.” Fuck that sounded confusing.

He had a sip of his coffee before answering, “I can’t promise that Fiona, I don’t keep anything from him but whatever you need to say won’t go further than him.”

She expected that answer but at least he was as removed from the situation as she was. “Fuck, this is weird I’m sorry but do you know if they are having safe sex, Mickey and Ian I mean.” She gave him a grin trying to make the question less strange.

He smirked at her, “To answer your question bluntly, our shopping list every week has 2-3 boxes of condoms on it and a few bottles of lube.” He sat back in his seat still smirking but not the least bit embarrassed as he watched her shiver. “Yeah, I know. I wouldn’t want to know about Mandy either.” He continued.

She leaned in feeling more comfortable speaking to him even if the subject made her cringe. “Have you noticed Ian’s been a bit off the last few weeks?”

He didn’t answer immediately. “Umm, not really but I know he hardly ever drinks anymore and the first time I’ve seen him smoke a joint in a while was yesterday but he hasn’t been over for the last week.” He laughed at his brothers fuck up.

“Yeah, a moody teenager was a fucken joy. I seriously felt like bitch slapping Mickey for that.” She laughed too hoping that’s all it was.

“Could also be from the coke, his body could still be a bit fucked up but that was like 2 months ago now and I know they haven’t done any at home since.” He sounded sure.

She was now nearly positive he didn’t know about Ian’s biology or he probably would have mentioned it but she decided to ask one more cringe worthy question first before sharing that bit of information. She lowered her voice even if the tables near theirs were empty, “Sorry to ask this but do you know if Mickey is a top or a bottom.”

His hand holding his coffee froze just before it reached his mouth. “Really?” She nodded. “Okkk… Mickey’s a top.”

Her head immediately fell to the table and she banged it with her forehead a few times while she swore, “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” She felt his hand on her shoulder and looked back up at him.

He sounded worried, “What the fuck aren’t you telling me Fiona?”

She exhaled loudly, “Have you ever heard of the rare gene, it’s mostly hereditary where males can fall pregnant?” His eyes widened. “Well our grandparents are both male on our mother’s side and Ian has it, the gene.”

His chair nearly toppled when he stood abruptly, “C’mon, I need a fucking smoke for this.” She followed him out. She needed a fucking smoke or 10 too.

They walked in silence dodging mommy hipsters with jogging strollers who didn’t need to work and spent all day going from yoga studios and gyms to cafes with not a care in the world. They had no idea of the struggles the original residents in their neighborhood went through every day and had no problem ignoring the homeless they walked by sleeping in alleys or the few empty store fronts. 

Iggy stopped when they got to the corner of the street where a gentrified park had appeared nearly overnight and they sat at an isolated bench. It was cold in the park so it was nearly empty, the storm clouds overhead still held the rain that threatened to fall and she wished her brothers and sister had somewhere as nice as this to play in when they were small, maybe she’d bring Liam here on the weekend.

Iggy handed her one of the lit smokes he had in his hand smoking half of his before asking. “Does Mickey know?”

“Ian said he told him but he also told me he was a top too.” She shared.

“I honestly have no idea about symptoms or whatever, we’ve all managed to dodge that fucken bullet but I also don’t see Mickey changing his… he’s a domineering fucker and Ian’s… shit.” A hint of apprehension came through his words.

She barked out a laugh, “Sensitive, submissive, borderline desperate for love and security and one hell of a passive aggressive bitch when the mood hits him.” She said candidly.

They both genuinely laughed now, so was the life they had all grown up in. It could be hell but knowing you had people who had your back helped, people you could truly trust and rely on and their two families had found that. First Ian and Mandy then Mickey and herself, then Ian and Mickey and now she felt like she’d made a connection with Iggy too. No need to mince words when they all knew each other well.

“You do know if it has happened he won’t let him leave, probably won’t even if it hasn’t happened. I’d bet my last fucken dollar he’s in love with him.” He said seriously.

Was she supposed to be happy her brother had found what she’d never managed to find, what she’d always known he’d longed for his whole life? He’d worked so hard to get out and it was just around the corner. She’d dreamed he’d have a career first, financial security before settling down and at 17… fuck.

She slapped her hands on her thighs, “Well it hasn’t happened yet I hope, might just be nerves or a bug or some shit but I’m pretty sure he feels the same way about Mickey and won’t want to leave him either when the time comes. While he’s staying at yours this week I don’t think it’ll hurt if I check out colleges here in Chicago for him, he can go with Mandy.”

“Sorry to cut this short but we better head back before Mick starts calling, he needs to go out today and he won’t leave them alone.” They looked at each other knowingly.

 

******

 

Half the time his father smoked meth he didn’t remember a fucking thing but Mickey had to see for himself even if Jamie said otherwise. Joey and Tony were at work but just like with Mandy and Ian they weren’t leaving the old bastard alone ‘out of concern’ they’d told him, so now he had to put in an appearance like a good son.

They hadn’t put much money into improving the house his brothers lived in opting to wait until their father finally died since he managed to break something every fucken day. Their furniture was descent, better than most but none of it would cost much too replace. The fridge always had food and beer in it and they made sure their father had access to whatever drugs made him happy, life was easier that way.

“Where’s Dad?” Mickey asked eyes fixed on Jamie’s when he strolled in making sure to sound concerned.

“Here!” He called back to him raising his hand that had a beer in it from a recliner in front of the TV. “That my favorite son?” Terry asked fondly or as fondly as Terry could sound.

Mickey made his way over, “Fuck Dad, you ok?” He rubbed his shoulder like a good son would. His nose was clearly broken, he had two black eyes, probably had a fractured cheek bone too.

He waved him off, “Pfff, it’s nothing. Still fucken made it home by myself so it couldn’t have been too bad, fuckers.”

“Well I got boys out looking, fuckers don’t treat my Dad like that and get away with it, here.” Mickey gave him an expensive bottle of whiskey.

Terry gave him what passed for a smile but looked more like a gargoyle glaring down from atop a building. “This is why you’re my favorite son, always looking out for your old man.” He cracked open the bottle and took a large swig before screwing the lid back on.

Mickey felt satisfied for now. “Alright Dad, I gotta go, business and shit.” He said and started making his way to the door.

Terry bellowed behind him. “Aye, Son!” He waited for Mickey to come back. “Don’t you fucken forget Saturday night.” He said forcefully.

FUCK! Boomed through Mickey’s brain. “No worries Dad, just give the boys your order.” He tried to leave again but it wasn’t happening.

Terry pointed to the room but not directly at Jamie. “These fuck knuckles? nah… you’re gonna get what I want.” He finished his beer and squashed the can in his fist before dropping it on the floor, burping and smirked at him. “Get whatever fucken food, I don’t give a shit but I want coke and don’t forget my whores.” He finished by waving his arm at Mickey letting him know he could leave.

He made it to the door this time before his father spoke again. “Aye!” 

“Yeah Dad.” He had a feeling he was being fucked with now but he kept his tone pleasant.

“Get’em from Sasha, she just got a new delivery from Russia and make sure she sends over the fucken redhead, the tall one.” He finished in a honeyed tone.

 

******

Ian had literally become a Milkovich sandwich. For the last 5 nights, he’d slept wedged between his boyfriend who he was now talking to again and his girlfriend/bestfriend/beard who needed him. Mandy wasn’t ready to sleep alone, Mickey refused to spend another night without him and as much as he wanted to sleep wrapped in Mickey’s arms he wouldn’t leave Mandy until she was ready. 

Every night Mickey cussed and complained when the 3 of them got into his king size bed but every morning Ian woke with Mickey’s arm around both him and Mandy. The took up just over half the bed with him spooning Mandy and Mickey spooning him. The second day after their new sleeping arrangements he’d pulled Iggy aside and begged him to sneak into their room and take pics of them sleeping but he’d laughed at him and walked of mumbling something about not having a death wish. 

Ian was positive both Mandy and himself hadn’t spent longer than 10 minutes alone since Sunday morning. Either Mickey, Iggy or Fiona was with them, sometimes all 3 and his younger siblings too but it would have to end soon when him and Mandy went back to school after the weekend. 

The house had also developed a strange vibe? He couldn’t think of another word to describe how their ‘caretakers’ were behaving. Mickey’s affection towards him hadn’t decreased even with the house being so full but anytime he left his side whether he went to get a drink or went to the bathroom he would find him following, watching him like he thought he’d disappear or something. He didn’t say anything to him, he knew how overprotective he could be and figured it was his way of dealing with what had occurred. They’d also been reduced to sex once a day if they were lucky and it only happened in the bathroom, the bed now off-limits cause of Mandy. Every time they fucked Mickey always topped, he was becoming smothering and it held a desperate edge like the world was ending. He didn’t bring that up either.

Fiona and Iggy’s behavior was no better. Mandy had picked it up first, their constant scrutiny and whispering. At first, they thought they were hooking up but there was absolutely no sexual tension between them, they just seemed to watch much like Mickey. His sister was always asking how he was feeling, her mama bear out full force like when he was younger. He hoped like fuck she calmed down soon before she sent him round the bend. He was positive him and Mandy were getting over what had happened faster than their 3 siblings. 

He was pretty sure it was Friday morning when he woke but he had no idea what the time was. What he did know was that he was fit to bust, his bladder full and he couldn’t move a fucken inch if he tried.

His phone saved him. It rang for the first time this week seeing as he’d spent all his time with the people who usually called him. He felt Mandy reach out and could hear her fiddling about trying to locate his phone by hand, he was sure she hadn’t opened her eyes before she found it and past it over her shoulder to him.

He didn’t recognize the number. “Ian Gallagher speaking… yes sir… no I’m much better now thank you sir… of course I can sir… I’ll see you in 1 hour sir.” He ended the call.

Mickey’s voice was gravelly and far from happy, “Who tha fuck are you calling sir?”

He answered him gently trying to placate him. “Captain over at the recruitment centre, gotta be there in an hour for a random blood and urine test.”

Mickey moved closer if that was possible making his need to get out the bed extremely urgent. He shoved Mandy’s shoulder to fully wake her, “C’mon cock block, gotta piss like now.” 

Mandy reluctantly dragged herself upright but not before giving her own insult back. “Cum guzzler.” She snarled.

Ian pushed past her getting to his feet, “Fag hag.” He tried to move fast but she managed to slap his ass through his boxers.

“Bottom!” She called out loudly.

Ian had just pulled his dick out when Mickey snapped. “I’ll rip your fucken tongues out if you bitches don’t shut tha fuck up!”

Mandy quieted but Ian giggled loud enough to be heard through the pushed up but not closed bathroom door. When he was done pissing he got in the shower which was like a beacon calling Mickey to join him. He felt arms snake their way around his waist, hands pawing over his chest and abs as Mickey’s broad chest rested against his back and his hard cock tried to find its own way into him. 

Mickey huskily asked into the back of his neck before biting down hungrily, “We got time?” Ian pushed back rubbing his ass against his cock in reply when one of Mickey’s hands left him to pick up the lube and a condom which they now kept a supply of next to the shampoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your amazing comments and kudos which keep me going.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boxes

Mandy threw the covers off herself violently before getting out of the bed she was sharing with her brother and her best friend. Ian didn’t stir, he slept like a fucken rock but Mickey jumped out of bed his fists raised instinctively looking for danger only to find his incensed, bedraggled looking sister glaring at him from the other side of the bed.

“You have a nightmare?” He asked her concerned now fully awake.

She snorted, “If you call the huge dick your boyfriend has poking me in the fucken thigh then yeah!” She snapped but kept her voice low while Mickey scowled at her. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Think I’m gonna try my bed tonight.” None of this was any of their faults, she was just fed up with the whole situation and the fear then having to sleep with her brother and best friend. Mickey had put new locks on the front door and she hated the way she felt, scared to be in her own home but it was time she took back some control starting now.

Mickey’s irritation dissipated after the initial shock of his sister’s statement, she had every right to feel upset and he knew what she’d said was out of frustration and fear. He made his way around the bed and put an arm around her shoulders, “You sure you’re ready.” She nodded in response. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a box and brought it back over to her and spoke quietly. “Don’t fucken laugh, was Iggy’s idea.”

“What is it?” The room was dark and her vision wasn’t clear enough to see what the box contained. She followed her brother out the room and into the living room where he turned the light on but still spoke in a quiet tone.

He chuckled lightly, “Baby monitor, that way I can hear you if you have a problem or a nightmare or some shit.” She shocked him when she hugged him suddenly, he’d been expecting the opposite.

When she pulled back she took the box off him and examined it quirking an eyebrow before speaking, “It’s only one way isn’t, I don’t wanna here you bang my boyfriend?” She gave him a small smile.

“Really? C’mon, let’s go set the fucker up.” Mandy followed him into her room where he set the monitor up on her bed side table. He watched her get into bed and reassured her he’d set his side up when he got back to his room. 

He made his way back to his room when he was satisfied she seemed ok to try and sleep alone and immediately set up his end. He could hear her breathing lightly so he got back into bed with his still heavily sleeping boyfriend and moved up close behind him. 

His first thought was, ‘wake him and fuck him senseless’ but then his mind was assailed by thoughts of his father and the conversation he’d had with Iggy earlier in the week and the concerns Fiona had shared with him about Ian. Personally, he hadn’t spoken to her but he could tell she knew Iggy had told him and he had no fucken idea what to think or what to say to her.

He slipped an arm under Ian’s neck to hold him closer and his other arm that was wrapped around his waist moved slightly lower. He wasn’t aware until he felt Ian shift in his arms that he was lightly touching his stomach, caressing his lower abdomen like he’d done the last few nights involuntarily. 

It didn’t feel much different than it had the first time he’d touched him when he’d passed out drunk in his bed. His skin was still the softest he’d ever felt and raised in just the right places showing off his clearly defined abs and his V line he just couldn’t stop running his fingers over. If anything, his muscles felt a little larger than they had that first time but Ian had increased his training and workouts the last 5 or 6 weeks now. He’d already noticed Ian’s body had enlarged all over since he’d upped his daily routine even before this week.

His mind drifted back to his more serious problem, the one he had to see tomorrow for the bastard’s birthday. So many questions ran through his mind. What would have happened if Ian hadn’t been there when their father had clearly mistaken Mandy for their mother? Would she have screamed loud enough for Iggy to hear her? Would he have been home or would his father have caught Ian in his bed? Would it have turned out different if he wasn’t thinking with his dick and remembered to lock the fucken door when he left? And did his father’s last demand to him the other day have an underlining meaning? ‘Get’em from Sasha, she just got a new delivery from Russia and make sure she sends over the fucken redhead, the tall one’.

That demand could mean anything. It sounded like his father already knew of the redheaded whore and just wanted to fuck her or it could have meant something more dangerous, something that could put Ian at risk. He honestly had no idea exactly what his father was implying or what he’d meant. He did know that usually the simplest answer was the correct one and his father wasn’t known for his tact, he was known for lashing out without forethought.

What he did know was if he was put in a position to choose either his father or Ian his father would lose every time and his brothers would back him up. They were already ready to deal with him permanently to protect Mandy and had planned to discuss the issue after the party. It was too risky beforehand with his uncle and cousins coming tomorrow night, they needed to get over the birthday party first to avoid any suspicion. 

His second problem was maybe his fucked up plan had actually worked after he’d decided to abandon it. What if Fiona’s suspicions were right even if both himself and Iggy hadn’t noticed any of the things she had? Would Ian choose to keep it giving up his future career and the security he’d worked so hard for and craved? Did he mean enough to Ian to give that all up? He thought he could give Ian what he wanted and needed emotionally. To never have to worry about going without and to give him financial security. 

He didn’t care about the age difference but Ian was still 17, a teenager who would be giving up his life while most other teens were out partying and enjoying their freedom. He also knew Ian was it for him even if it had only been a matter of months, although he didn’t know if he could actual say how he felt verbally or if he meant the same to Ian.

He might have decided not to go about keeping Ian here with him this way but just the thought that it may have happened seemed to have awakened something in him or maybe just made the way he already felt more intense. He pressed the palm of his hand onto Ian’s stomach with a tiny bit more pressure than he was already touching him with and tried to feel if anything was really inside him though he knew realistically it would be too early to tell. 

Ian stirred under his touch and he wanted nothing more than to wake him, to claim him and feel what it was like to fuck him again without the burden of a condom. To feel what no other man had ever felt and feel his cum fill him again but there’d be time for that soon enough. He was sure Fiona was right and the moment it was confirmed he’d have everything he’d ever wanted since the moment he’d first laid eyes on Ian. 

For now he needed to sleep, he couldn’t risk not having his wits about him tomorrow night and for that he’d need a full night of rest. They could always spend the day in bed before he had to make an appearance at his father’s birthday party. He knew Ian was never leaving him again and for now that was enough.

 

******

 

Something was wrong. Something was missing Ian’s half awake brain told him. When it dawned on him he panicked lifting himself upright so fast he woke Mickey. 

He looked around frantically, “Mandy!” He turned to Mickey quickly not realizing he’d woken him but expecting an answer. “Mandy’s gone.” 

Mickey pulled him around and into his arms to calm him, “Shhh, she’s fine. Decided she was ready to sleep in her own bed.” 

Mickey could feel Ian’s chest moving faster than it should be as he buried his face into his neck. He held him closely and ran his fingers threw his thick wavy hair till his breathing returned to normal and relished the thought that he could do that to Ian so easily. That his embrace was enough.

Mickey couldn’t take it anymore, just touching Ian’s striking red hair that was darkening with the weather and feeling him against him was tormenting in all the right ways. It was time for more now they had the bed to themselves again, his cock was so hard it was close to hurting. Suppressing the need to fuck Ian in bed all week drove him to distraction and was now all he could focus on.

All the pent up frustration from too quick fucks in the bathroom made the desire Mickey felt overwhelming as his hands began to roam over Ian’s body unable to settle on one spot. He felt Ian’s hand pull his hair back as he reached up and pressed his lips to his as he made quick work of pushing their boxers down.

Ian kissed Mickey hungrily. It was sloppy and wet as their tongues entwined, he didn’t think he would ever tire of the feeling. Ian moved his body until he’d pushed Mickey onto his back and he lay on top of him, both of them rutting against each other. Their cocks hard and leaking making them slide against each other effortlessly.

A moan escaped Ian lips as Mickey ran his hands down his back to his ass and began kneading his skin and pressing him closer. He moved his mouth down to Mickey’s jaw trailing kisses until he reached his neck and sunk his teeth into his skin biting and sucking on it while Mickey’s breath hitched in his throat.

Mickey surged upwards and flipped them so he was now on top, his mouth going straight for Ian’s neck and sucking on it hard enough to make Ian groan and mark his pale skin with every movement of his mouth. He pulled back just enough to look into Ian’s eyes and see his own desire mirrored back before their lips reconnected.

Mickey reached one hand over to his side table without losing his connection with Ian’s mouth and opened the draw pulling out one of their many bottles of lube and a strip of condoms. He dropped them next to him and flipped open the lube one handed and took his other hand away from Ian to pour some onto his fingers.

Mickey’s used his knees to push Ian’s legs apart as fingers dripping with lube made their way between his legs and began tracing his rim firmly before pushing two fingers inside. His patience was nonexistent and he hoped Ian was still open enough from when they’d fucked the night before in the shower. 

Ian gasped as Mickey’s fingers entered him just on the side of painful and slowly began fucking him open. He felt himself loosening as Mickey’s fingers probed until they found the spot that made him whimper. 

As noises began leaving Ian’s mouth Mickey slipped a third finger into him while he continued to fuck him open faster itching to get inside him as Ian began squirming under him and saying his name breathlessly. 

Ian’s body was vibrating with need and he didn’t want to wait any longer or risk coming with Mickey’s fingers alone. “Mick…stop…I… fuck me.” He struggled to get out against Mickey’s lips but felt himself empty as Mickey pulled out of him and somehow opened a condom and put it on barely lifting himself off the top of him.

Mickey was about to enter him when he decided to change positions. He got off Ian and saw a brief moment of surprise on his face before he spoke, “Hands and knees, now.” He ordered him.

Ian complied as fast as he could, Mickey’s hands on his hips the second he was in position as he clenched his hands into the sheets in anticipation. 

Mickey didn’t waste time, he couldn’t hold out any longer and rammed his cock into Ian eliciting a loud moan from them both when he bottomed out. He paused only long enough to get himself under control, the feeling of being inside Ian nearly too much. 

Ian’s eyes rolled back into his head as Mickey began slamming into him hard and fast, no build up just the pleasurable pain of being opened up fully by his cock with every thrust. He felt his arms turning to jelly as he started to fall forward but was caught by Mickey’s hands that had been on his hips as they grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up so his back leaned onto Mickey’s chest.

After Mickey pulled Ian up against him he wrapped an arm around his chest and the other around his waist as he slowed and rolled his hips until he found the bundle of nerves which caused Ian to moan with each penetrating jolt. 

Ian struggled to get out a breath every time Mickey fucked into him, his cock now overstimulating his body with each thrust as his body raced to come. His head fell back onto Mickey’s shoulder as he felt himself get light headed then Mickey reached down and took his throbbing cock into his hand. 

As soon as Mickey took hold of Ian’s cock he came shooting over his hand and the sheets. Ian’s muscles tightened around his cock making him moan hoarsely as he came inside him moments later, hips faltering and his thighs shaking.

Ian felt himself fall forward when Mickey removed his arm from around his chest and landed in his own cum not caring, Mickey landing on top of him, both of them now panting as their hearts thumped in their chests. 

Mickey knew he was squashing Ian but he loved the feeling of Ian being trapped beneath him as he came down from the high of his orgasm. Ian usually let him stay there for a few minutes but this time he was reaching his arm back hitting him on the ass which he knew meant ‘get the fuck off’, so he rolled off him.

The second Mickey was off him Ian was up and stumbling to the bathroom as nausea swept over his body landing hard on his knees on the cold tiles and once again losing his entire stomach contents into the toilet. 

Mickey honestly felt upset as he listened to his boyfriend vomit for the first time in a week or the first time he’d noticed. He never wanted Ian to feel any pain or hurt unless of course it was during sex which they both enjoyed but the sounds coming from the bathroom at this very moment… mmm… they made him feel and irresistible urge to chain Ian to his own body and never let him leave his side again. A satisfaction he’d never felt before about anything he’d hunted and finally claimed as his but now that he had it he had no intention of ever letting it go. A high higher than any drug he’d ever taken swept through his body and he knew that if Ian walked back into the room at this very second, he would find him grinning like a Cheshire cat. 

 

******

 

Fiona knew about the party but Mickey and Iggy hadn’t told Ian and Mandy they had to leave them soon. That they had no choice but to celebrate Terry’s birthday and pretend all was ok for now. The 3 of them had decided Fiona would come over and spend the hour or 2 that Mickey had to put in an appearance with them and all his brothers would cover for him if anyone asked why he’d left so early. Now more so than ever he had to keep Ian and Mandy safe, keep them out of his father’s head and not give him any reason to question Ian in their lives until he’d come to a decision about what to do with him.

Ian and Mickey had spent a lazy day in bed watching Jason Stratham movies on Netflix and napping. Mickey had planned on spending the day the same way they’d woken, he was even going to let Ian top for the first time in a few weeks. Bottoming was still a guilty pleasure a part of him enjoyed more than topping but he would never admit it, his temperament would never accept the submissive position it put him in. Instead he used it as a reward/compromise just enough to satisfy Ian but it wasn’t to be, Ian had been feeling off all day.

Mickey had decided to come clean with Ian about the watch today, he wanted to give it back to him and cheer him up and he figured it would show him how long he’d wanted him, how much he meant to him from the beginning. To see something he’d bought him that showed how much he valued him, that showed he belonged to him.

Ian had shifted his position in Mickey’s arms so he could see his face and wondered what he was thinking. They were laying in bed upright on pillows with Ian resting against him. Mickey was staring off into space, obviously something on his mind, he hadn’t looked at the TV for the few minutes Ian had been watching him. Mickey jumped when Ian spoke softly, “Whatcha thinking?” Ian chuckled when he startled him.

“Fucker.” Mickey said looking at Ian now knowing he’d have to say something, anything and decided to just go for it. “Gotta tell you… don’t be upset with me okay.” He gave him a small smile.

“Okayyy?” Ian replied, apprehension clear in his single word response.

Fuck it Mickey though as he just said it, “Ya know I liked you when I first met you, well I’m Alek.” He stated bluntly before muttering “Fuck”, when Ian’s eyes widened and he moved away from him.

Ian punched Mickey in the arm as hard as he could from the way he was sitting and snapped, “I sent the fucken watch back asshole. I thought I had a stalker Mickey!”

Mickey rubbed his upper arm not sure if he should be proud his boyfriend could throw a punch or relieved he didn’t seem angry he’d bought him the watch. He still glared at him though, even if he tolerated Ian speaking to him like that he was far from used to anyone using that tone with him. “Calm the fuck down, it’s still here.” Mickey got off the bed and went to his wardrobe retrieving the box that contained the watch. He walked back with it in one hand and held it out to him as he sat back down, Ian taking it from him slowly.

Ian asked confused, “How? Fiona sent it back.”

Maybe Mickey should have mentioned what he was doing to his sister first, he didn’t want Ian upset with her for saying nothing. “Mandy worked out it was me, she offered to return it for Fiona and gave it back to me.” He said firmly.

Ian was only pissed off with Mandy for all of 1 second. He looked down at the box opening it to gaze upon the watched. He spoke gently, his eyes still averted, “Not really her place to say anything.” Ian was flattered to find Mickey had sent the gift.

Mickey moved towards him and pulled him into his arms. “M’sorry, I should’ve said something sooner.” Only the hint of apology in his voice. He needed to be back in control before he told him more and from Ian’s response, his body now resting in his arms, Mickey’s usual bravado returned.

Mickey continued speaking in a firm tone. “Iggy and I have to go out tonight but Fiona will be here shortly. It’s our dad’s birthday and he’s expecting us. Don’t want him coming over wondering where the fuck we are.” Mickey held him tighter when he felt Ian stiffen in his arms and rubbed his cheek across the side of Ian’s head softly until he was reassured yet again. “Am only staying an hour or 2 then I’ll be right back here with you ok.”

Ian wasn’t so much worried about being without Mickey for a short time but where he was going bothered him. The thought of Terry coming over, being anywhere near Mandy was worse so he bit down his uneasiness. He spoke cause he knew Mickey was waiting for him, “Go get ready then. The sooner you’re gone the sooner you can come back.” He said softly before sitting back against the pillows and distracting himself putting his watch back where it belonged giving Mickey what he hoped was an understanding smile.

 

******

 

Iggy waited until they were a few metres from their house before he relayed the text he’d gotten from Jamie when Mickey had been in the shower and braced himself for his brother’s reaction. 

Iggy kept his voice steady and hoped like fuck Mickey didn’t lose his shit. “Jamie texted, said Dad’s bragging to everyone he’s gotta present for his favourite son. A little birdie told him you like redheads, tall ones.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou to all those still with me, I had no idea this fic would end up so long. Your amazing comments and kudos make me keep writing.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A room full of whores

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've added 'implied cheating' to the tags. I'm also warning people before reading this chapter that a 'form of cheating' occurs but I don't consider it cheating due to the circumstances but to each their own.
> 
> This chapter is also longer than previous ones as I couldn't find a place to split it up and I also wanted to write more since it's been a month since my last update. I hope you all enjoy and don't hate me by the end xox

“I want to come with you.” Ian asked petulantly.

Mickey pulls Ian’s face towards him resting their foreheads together while caressing his face but the command in his voice is clear. “I can’t let you do that, am not risking you anywhere near my fucked up dad after what happened last time k.”

Ian barely nods his head in response before Mickey gives him as soft kiss. “Be and hour, two tops.” He tells him reluctantly not wanting to be away from him either before he leaves. 

Ian knew Fiona had arrived just before Mickey left but after spending all day in bed and feeling like shit he felt the need to freshen up first. He’d let Mickey shower alone, which was a rare occurrence when they were together and leave for the party before he had his shower. He made it a quick one knowing his sister would come looking for him soon and threw on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers before going out to join his family.

He was surprised it was so quiet, only the sound from the TV and inaudible conversation. He’d been expecting a house full of kids, namely his younger siblings running around, at least the boys. Fiona and Mandy were seated close together on the lounge and didn’t notice him yet they were so into whatever they were chatting about which he couldn’t make out their voices were so low. He snuck past them instead of interrupting and went to the kitchen for a drink. After drinking a few mouthfuls of water, he got out the joint he’d taken from Mickey’s bedside table and lit it up. Fuck he’d missed this, Ian thought as he inhaled a few deep pulls relishing the way it filled his lungs and the mellow feeling taking over his body.

He was nearly done smoking before anyone realized he was there. “Hey, didn’t hear you come out sweet face.” Fiona said as she got up and approached him in the kitchen. The closer she got her nose appeared to be irritated, she kept wiggling it and pulling faces.

“You getting sick Fi?” Ian asked concerned as her face kept contorting like she was smelling something bad now. He sniffed the air but all he could smell was weed.

When she reached him, her hand shot out and took the joint out of his hand. It was nearly finished but he should have offered them some instead of hogging it all. She moved her hand back and forth holding it before his face demanding, “What the fuck is this?”

He snorted, “I think you know what it is Fi, sorry I didn’t offer but I’m sure there’s more somewhere around here.”

She huffed, “Not what I meant. Why are you smoking this shit hmmm?”

Ian replied a little confused, “I always smoke that shit. Well not always, I’ve laid off it lately but I just had a blood test so I thought why the fuck not, I only stopped in case of a random test so I should be ok for a while.”

“Maybe you should just give up, you’ve gone a while now without, it wouldn’t hurt.” She gave him a small smile that looked a tad bit forced.

Ian smirked at her, “I plan on enjoying myself until next summer Fi, after I leave I won’t be able to do shit until I come home for holidays so no. I have absolutely no fucken intentions giving up anything right now.” 

Mandy piped up from the living room, “I’ll give up with you, it’ll make it easier to do it now and I’m sure Mickey will join in.”

Ian pulled out a smoke he’d been keeping behind his ear since he’d left Mickey’s bedroom and lit it up. This time when Fiona tried to grab it he was quicker and held it above his head. “What tha fuck Fi!” He moved away from her and leaned against the sink and continued to smoke raising his hand after each puff.

She pleaded, “I’m just looking out for you. Why not give all this up now like Mandy said, it’ll be easier don’t you think?”

Ian glared at her for nearly a full minute trying to work out what the fuck she was up to. Before he spoke again Mandy had joined them. “You didn’t seem that worried the last 5 or 6 years I’ve been smoking and drinking, why now?” He asked knowing he sounded pissed but not really caring after cutting back.

Fiona put her hand ups, “Fine, fine. Just trying to help. You hungry, I’m starved.” She didn’t wait for an answer but pulled some KFC from the fridge. “I picked up some on the way here, I know you love it, I’ll make you a plate.” He watched her busy herself making up three plates.

Ian thought he’d change the subject too, “Where’re the kids?”

Fiona responded without turning, “Deb said she’d babysit, had that Holly girl come over for the night. I really don’t like her but your sister refuses to listen to me nowadays.”

Ian didn’t want to stay angry with his sister so he chuckled and joked. “Must be catchy aye.”

Fiona laugh back, “Fuck off, here.” She handed him and Mandy a plate each and followed them to the table with her own after getting a bottle of pop out the fridge and a few glasses.

The three of them ate quietly at the table, an uncomfortable feeling still hung in the air but no one acknowledged it. Ian had hoped after smoking some weed it would help his appetite but after one bite of chicken he felt queasy. He usually loved greasy chicken, especially the skin, instead he ate his coleslaw and potato salad and left the chicken behind. He knew his sister would start fussing again but he just couldn’t stomach the taste right now, maybe another joint would help.

“What’s wrong with the chicken.” Fiona asked through a mouthful of food pointing to his plate with her fork.

Ian tried for a reassuring tone after the way his sister had gone on earlier, “Bit too greasy but I’m full, had a sandwich not too long ago.”

Fiona started to get up, “I’ll get you different piece.” 

Ian quickly shot his arm across the table grabbling hers, and with a light chuckle said, “Sit, I’m fine, really. Stop fussing already.” He then got up himself taking his plate and going to the kitchen to put away the food and tidying up.

After the dishes were done and the 3 of them made themselves comfortable on the lounge Ian lit up another joint much to the disgust of both his sister and now his best friend. He had no fucken idea why they were acting so strange about him smoking, they all did it and they were starting to make him feel paranoid.

Fiona’s forced happiness still came through when she spoke, “So what are we watching? You wanna choose Ian?”

Ian waved her off now too stoned to give a shit while he checked his phone for the time. He was relieved to see it was just after 8, Mickey would be home within the hour then he’d be able to escape his sister and her weird behavior. 

Mandy spoke uncharacteristically girly, “How bout we watch Double Impact, I know how much you love Van Damm Ian.” It wasn’t so much a question as she was already at the TV putting the DVD in the player. Ian wasn’t sure if he’d spaced out cause he hadn’t noticed Fiona and Mandy now had their own joints hanging from their lips. 

Not too long after the movie started Ian became obsessed with his phone. Between smoking like it was air, purposely he knew, just to piss Fiona and Mandy off now, he kept checking the time and stopping himself from texting Mickey.

8:22…8:34…8:38…8:43… Mickey had left at 7pm and by his own word should be home by 9 but there was still no sign of him. Ian was now angry smoking if there was such a thing, he must have smoked 2 joints by himself since the movie started and the ashtray was half full with the evidence of all 3 of them getting into it more than usual. At least the annoying women in his life only occasionally shot him dirty looks and hadn’t spoken to him for a while now. He didn’t want to snap at them but he found himself getting madder by the minute as the time got closer to 9.

Ian was about to get up and find himself some more weed or some alcohol of any description, he needed to calm down and it just wasn’t happening when his hearing picked up the noises coming from his companions. Light snoring drew his eyes to them. They were both slumped into the lounge making him jealous he couldn’t smoke himself asleep too, Mandy with her mouth hanging open and a little bit of drool running out the side of her mouth.

Ian got up slowly not wanting to disturb them and checked his phone again…9:14. Fuck it, he thought moving quietly till he reached Mickey’s room and took a baggy he had in his draw with maybe a dozen joints in it and slipped them into his pocket along with the spare keys he kept there. 

Ian knew Mickey had virtually ordered him to stay but he’d also said he’d be home and really, what were the chances Terry remembered what had happened? Iggy and Mickey had assured both Mandy and himself that he didn’t so what could it hurt to go over there? He could be careful, just sneak in and catch Mickey’s eye or one of his brother’s and remind him what the time was, how fucken hard could that be with all the people that would be there? Ian questioned himself although part of him was feeling irrational but fuck, it was now 9:17 and he wanted his boyfriend back. Maybe that’s all he needed to feel better cause the weed sure as fuck wasn’t working.

Ian padded softly back out the room finding both Fiona and Mandy still passed out and made his way to the door careful not to disturb them as he soundlessly slipped out. He’d probably bump into Mickey on his way home by now.

 

******

 

They were nearly at the house and Mickey hadn’t said a word which was making Iggy extremely anxious. The sound of loud music and people shouting to be heard over it did nothing but elevate his stress level worrying how this night might play out. They were now a few houses away when Mickey stopped walking and parked himself down in the gutter lighting up a smoke but still saying nothing. Iggy sparked up a joint and sat alongside him trying to think of something, anything to say. The only thing he was sure of right now was they had to get rid of him, the piece of shit whose birthday they were supposed to be celebrating which should have been done years ago but more so now. Protecting Mandy and Ian had to be their priority as soon as this farce of a party was done, they’d all already agreed to a sit down to discuss how.

Mickey’s brain had shut down the moment Iggy had finished speaking when they’d left home. He needed a clear mind to work through the shit storm he knew he would be facing tonight but how? He was running out of time, they were only a few houses down so he sat knowing his brother would follow. Now more than ever he had to protect Ian but how the fuck did his father find out? It was unlike Terry to hold back something like this, he was a hit first talk later piece of shit.

Mickey spoke dryly, voice lacking emotion, he needed to think logically more than ever to get through this. “How’d you think he found out?”

Iggy thought before he spoke knowing how their father worked too. “I’m not sure he has. You’ve been careful and all, maybe he just suspects. I really have no fucken idea; the whole neighborhood thinks Ian and Mandy are a couple.” Which was true.

With mock bewilderment, eyebrows rising skeptically Mickey replied, “Yeah right. You think their gonna keep thinking that when Ian’s belly starts…you fucken know. People aren’t stupid enough to think Mandy knocked him up, they’ll look at you and me. You first, he fucken works for you but I haven’t fucked a female in years or been seen with one. I should have just paid some skank to play along all these years…FUCK!”

“Fuck it!” Mickey shot to his feet. “Get tha fuck up, I gotta leave before 9 and we’ve nearly lost an hour already.” He began to casually stroll towards the noise Iggy trailing behind him and catching him up as they entered the gate.

People were spilled out onto the front yard drinking like it was free which it was for them seeing as Mickey had paid for it. A couple of plastic baby pools were set up filled with cans of beer and ice, the odd bottle of pop included. Most of the ‘guests’ Mickey noticed were male with a sprinkling of whores thrown in. He could hear his father’s bellowing voice over the music and could just make him out through a window holding court with his brother Ronnie and their followers.

Before Mickey had a chance to make his way over to the beer he caught sight of Jamie making his way over with a bottle of Jack in his hand. Handing it over he whispered just loud enough to hear, “He’s been asking for ya, told him you’re out here making nice.”

Mickey nearly choked on the burn from drinking a fifth of the bottle in one hit but he needed something more than weed and he sure as fuck wasn’t doing harder drugs, alcohol he could handle and keep his wits mostly. “Where tha boys?” He asked clearing his throat.

Jamie handed him a smoke, “Distracting Dad. Dumb fuck thinks you’ve been here for ages but you’ll have to see him soon.”

His oldest brother was pushing 30 but Mickey could still pick out the underlying fear of their father just under the surface, they all had it to some degree and up until recently Mandy was the only one who didn’t. It wasn’t the same as they felt towards him, he was more about control and they’d been conditioned since childhood to follow his lead even before he took over the family.

Over the next hour Mickey steadily drank through the bottle of Jack as he made his way around the partygoers outside flanked by Jamie and Iggy while Joey and Tony stayed inside listening to their father bluster on about how wonderful he was, like he was a master of the universe or whatever his drug addled brain came up with. He couldn’t avoid socializing with the few people he deemed worth his time or anyone he may need in the future, he was too well known. It was times like these that Mickey wished he didn’t hold so much power in the neighborhood, social graces were not his forte but he knew how to play the game when the need arose as much as he despised it. Mickey nearly made it to the 9 o’clock mark without having to enter the house or mutter more than a dozen words to a single person unnecessary. Most of the people there were either drunks, junkies, whores or some type of combination who were easily scared off by just a glare from Jamie or Iggy leaving them mostly to themselves. 

The dirt which could have been lawn had anyone bothered to look after it now felt like churning mud underfoot, a few even wore the evidence of it on their clothes. The police had made a few cursory passes of the house, only lone cruisers that slowed down but didn’t stop. Mickey’s frustration steadily built with the need to leave, to go home to Ian and get away from these people that were only there for what they could get for free and kiss his or his father’s ass. He’d even spotted Frank Gallagher in the crowd who thankfully stayed the fuck away from him, there was only so much he could stand of that man without wanting to stab him in the eye.

Iggy nonchalantly spoke into Mickey’s left ear, “Think we can make a move yet?”

Mickey could sense he was being watched through a window as he forced a cheerful smile, “Whatever, let’s get this the fuck over with so we can go.” He said before calmly walking towards the entrance of the house, no longer able to avoid the inevitable.

Mickey’s ears thumped when he got inside, he had no idea what music was playing but it was loud, though it didn’t drown out his father’s voice. The house was a pigsty covered in empty beer bottles, cigarette butts on the worn carpet, empty pizza boxes littered the floor and bodies strewn over every piece of furniture. In the living room area seated on the lounge was his father’s brother Ronny and a few of his cousins all with whores on their laps while his father held court from his recliner with a whore on both arms of his chair fawning over him.

As Mickey, Iggy and Jamie approached the music became slightly easier to decipher, Lynyrd Skynyrd or something from that era Mickey thought but at the same time felt insult for the musicians entertaining this lot. Terry spotted the trio as they came into view and rose from his seat to greet his sons knocking both whores out the way without a care.

“Mickey my boy!” Terry exclaimed barely able to keep his balance as he draped his arm over his son.

Mickey gave his father a wide smile, “Happy birthday Dad!” He spoke over the noise now buzzing through is whiskey sodden brain. He reached into his pocket with his free arm and pulled out an eight ball of coke presenting his gift which was swiftly taken off him.

Terry held up the bag of white powder proclaiming, “See Ronny, told ya my boy would bring me the good shit didn’t I!” Mickey watched as his uncle held up his beer acknowledging what his brother had just said. 

Iggy spoke up, “Mick, we gotta head off now, we got that business shit early in the morning.”

Mickey could feel his father’s too long finger nails dig into his shoulder as he snapped to Iggy, “You can fucken leave but this fucker is staying right here, ain’t ya son!” 

How should he respond? Mickey asked himself not wanting to piss his father off or cause a scene in front of his Uncle who was watching him intently. His cousins were oblivious to the sudden tension in the room but his own brothers weren’t, they had their game faces on even if they were wasted. Just because Mickey ran the show now, they lived with the old bastard and knew how dangerous he could still be if motivated but until Mickey gave them the order they would all stay their hands.

Mickey decided to go with a deflecting tactic, “C’mon Iggy, we can do another 15-20 minutes and still drag our asses up at 7am, S’dads birthday, right dad.” Even if his father was well aware who ran the family now, Mickey knew he liked people, particularly his own brother to think he had some control left when in reality he had none over the business and what he had over his sons was mainly an illusion but in front of an audience things could end badly. They may pander to him feeding him drugs and alcohol when asked which was always but that was to shut him the fuck up and they’d already agreed this would be their dads last birthday so what was a few minutes more?

Terry stood himself up straighter no longer needing Mickey’s support before addressing the room, “My boy works fucken hard to give all you ingrates a good life, you’re fucken lucky I let him give you anything so this is just for him!” He boasted proudly.

Mickey watched as his father held out a hand to one of the whores who was now walking towards him. She’s tall and pale with scattered bruises over her skin, shoulder length dyed red hair and dead eyes that resemble washed out green marbles. He can also pick out track marks on the inside of her elbows that are uncovered in her barely there dress.

Mickey is conscious of his hand moving to flick his thumb over his bottom lip, a nervous tick he has had since childhood but rarely shows itself in public. He barely manages to contain the movement and folds his arms across his chest to keep his hands pinned down. He tries to swallow the excess saliva he now feels gathering in his mouth which his father takes as encouragement. 

“Don’t know what tha fuck her name is, I call her succah and she’s all yours son!” Terry announces with a lecherous look contorting his face.

Mickey had taken the time he’d spent outside thinking up scenarios relating to his father’s earlier comments and was prepared. With mock astonishment, he looked her over before turning to his dad, “You fucken serious?” He raised both eyebrows before indicating with his head towards the whore. “I ain’t sticking my dick in some cheap whore, fuck knows what I’ll catch!”

And that’s when it happens, that’s when all sound rushes from Mickey’s ears except for the sound of his father’s voice and the constricting pain in his chest. Terry leans close to him and speaks only loud enough for the two of them to hear, “Can’t say I blame ya Mick but if ya don’t stick your dick in that slut’s mouth within the next 5 minutes… I give orders to the boys I have waiting outside my fucken house you stole from me to break tha fuck in and kill your faggot boyfriend!”

Mickey could physically feel the blood drain from his body and wouldn’t have been surprised if there was a puddle of red at his feet. He could feel the intense stares of his brothers focused on him expecting the situation to escalate but he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t risk whoever his fucked up father had waiting outside his front door to hurt Ian and probably Mandy and Fiona who would surely come to his defense. 

“You!” Mickey barked at the whore. “Bedroom now!” He started walking off but was stopped by his father’s sweaty hand on his arm.

Iggy spoke up before their father had a chance, “Look at her dad, she’s not worth our fucken time. Mick and me go northside for our whores.” He gave a laugh that came across as real.

Mickey watched Terry glare at his brother and for a brief moment as he felt his father’s grip tighten he worried it was all going to go to shit. “You forget where you come from Iggy or you need me to fucken teach ya?!” When his brother kept quiet his father turned back to him, “Kitchen. Now!”

Terry went first, then the whore and Mickey trailed behind. He made sure to throw a grin at his Uncle Ronny who seemed to have lost interest too busy with his own whore. The only ones paying any attention where his brothers who seemed to still be on alert waiting for a signal that he couldn’t give them.

 

******

 

Ian tried to walk casually as he approached the house and a police cruiser drove by. He had maybe 10 joints on him which would automatically fuck up his place at WestPoint if he was caught carrying but the cops never even looked his way. He bypassed the drunks in the yard hearing his father’s voice going off on one of his various rants and moved a little faster before he spotted him. 

The house had more people than places to sit which worked to Ian’s advantage. Being tall he hunched his back as he stood behind a group near the front door and quickly tried to find his boyfriend. He saw Terry lumbering into an armchair and pulling some cheap looking skank onto his lap laughing. Iggy and Jamie were in the room too talking huddled together concern on their faces as they kept glimpsing behind them. Ian could just see a kitchen in the direction they were looking and made his way there ducking behind the inebriated guests guessing Mickey was in that direction when he couldn’t find him anywhere in the room.

When Ian entered he had to stifle the noise threatening to leave his shocked mouth with his hand pressed firmly against it. He felt his stomach curl and drop like he’d been kicked in the guts when he saw Mickey with his dick in what he presumed was some sluts mouth kneeling before him, his hand tangled in her hair, his hips moving harshly as he pushed his cock into her opened mouth.

When Mickey pushed his dick into the whore’s mouth with his father standing alongside him he filled his mind with images of Ian splayed out naked before him as he struggled to get hard. His father left his side when it was clear his cock was working, his hand wrapped tightly in her hair as he tugged her head towards him fucking into her mouth. He kept his eyes closed imagining Ian before him frantic to get it over with knowing his father would question her when he was done.

Mickey was nowhere near coming, his dick flagging unable to keep up the ruse. He fucked into her mouth viciously like he’d done in the past with the numerous twinks he’d used before Ian not giving a shit when he could feel her throat closing up as she choked. 

It all went down so fast. Mickey was still half hard when she suddenly pulled off him squealing and swearing in Russian, her hair ripped from her head between his fingers, himself letting out a shriek and jerking away as he felt himself drenched in ice and cold water. His head shot to the side the assault had come from and there stood a red faced furious Ian.

Mickey quickly did up his jeans and buckled his belt as he watched Ian move swiftly from the kitchen and gave chase. He didn’t give a fuck if his father saw him leave, his only concern getting to Ian. He ran struggling to breathe catching up to him halfway back to his house reaching out to him to stop him. 

Ian moved slowly towards Mickey and his whore but was stopped by a bucket containing melting ice. He didn’t think twice as he picked it up and threw the contents over them both before glaring at a stunned Mickey and jogging out the house. He made it halfway back to Mandy wanting nothing more than for her to hold him when he felt someone grab hold of his shoulder stopping him in his tracks. He spun around fists raised ready to defend himself finding his winded cheating boyfriend behind him.

Ian pulled himself out of Mickey’s grip violently. “Don’t fucken touch me!” He hissed.

Mickey was panting trying to catch his breath. “Would ya… just… fuck… just listen ok. It’s not what it seems, fuck.” He tried to approach him again but Ian moved out of his reach.

Ian snarled, “I said don’t fucken touch me you piece of shit!”

Mickey tried to placate him, “Would you just listen please?”

“Listen to what Mickey!? You got horny and I haven’t been putting out, well I’m sorry I’ve been sick… or maybe your SLUT was handy and you didn’t have time to get to boystown to have your dick sucked!? Hmmm? Or wait! She was nothing but a warm mouth and that’s all you needed, is that it!?” Ian said bitterly.

Mickey tried pleading this time, “Would you just fucking listen please.”

Ian stormed up to Mickey getting in his face. “Nothing you say can explain what I just saw!” He said through clenched teeth. “You and me… we’re done.” He said anger radiating off him as tears streamed down his face unabated. 

Mickey began seething locking his hands onto Ian’s arms trying to keep him in one place so he could speak, his own rage now showing. “I said stop and fucking listen!” He bellowed at him not caring who heard. 

Ian couldn’t help but start scuffling with him aggressively trying to retch himself free. He managed to get one arm away from Mickey’s grasp fighting to get the other one loose and keep his free arm out of reach. He shoved him to no avail, the grip now painfully tight on the arm he still held as he felt himself panic hopelessly. His body acted automatically unnerving him by its action as he reared back his arm punching Mickey in the jaw startling him enough to release his hold.

Mickey fought to keep Ian from getting away as he felt him tear one arm free. He was determined not to lose the other as Ian thrashed against him. He wasn’t expecting it. It hadn’t happened in years so he was unprepared when he felt Ian’s fist connect with his jaw not so much hurting him but shocking him. 

Mickey’s first instinct was to hit back but he got ahold of his temper just enough to remember Ian’s suspected condition. He looked into Ian’s wide eyes seeing his reaction and knew instantly he hadn’t meant it but was simply trying to get out of the hold he had him in.

Heavy footfalls sounded behind Mickey as Ian walked backwards slowly away from him now free, so Mickey walked towards him holding out his hand wanting nothing more than to comfort him and softening his face but it was too no avail.

Ian couldn’t process what had occurred just his need to get as far away from Mickey as he could. Somebody was coming fast, multiple somebody’s from the noise they were making. Mickey’s hand reached out to him making his anxiety peak sending a surge of adrenaline coursing through him. He had to get away, his need to escape taking over as he quickly turned and ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry...


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Running through the night

Ian couldn’t stop, couldn’t slow down just yet. The burning desire to escape, to flee into the night that felt like it was closing in on him as his lungs struggled for a smallest lick of air that was being sucked out of him faster than he could pull it back in but he couldn’t stop. Frantic in his need to put as much distance between himself, what he’d witnessed and Mickey’s pleading face rendered him unable to think clearly. 

Legs feeling like spaghetti from his exertion closed in on the Gallagher house giving Ian some hope of protection from the images that bounced around in his head haunting him. He knew how to hide from them. Crawl into his bed and make believe the outside world wasn’t waiting to torment him like he had done so many times before. Collapsing onto the back steps Ian felt like his stomach was about to burst out of his body as it gurgled and churned, accompanied by the fire that burnt its way through his lungs that fought to catch up on the breaths he’d robbed them of in his mad dash to get home.

The house appeared quiet from the outside and he couldn’t remember if Fi had said the younger kids were home or not but all the lights were off downstairs. He climbed the steps slowly only making it to the landing by the back door as he felt his stomach finally give out expelling the dinner he’d eaten earlier. Dry heaving to the emptiness, only managing now to bring up bile that left his throat feeling raw, his phone began ringing in his jeans pocket.

Ian ignored whoever was calling walking back down the steps to the tap underneath them, his only thought right now the need to rinse out his mouth and try to ease the pain. He took into his sensitive mouth several handfuls of water spitting them back out until it felt clean then drinking a few more and swallowing painfully. Once his breathing eased down completely as he rested his body against the wall by the tap, he pulled his phone out to see who’d called.

8 missed calls from Mickey, 2 each from Fiona and Mandy and one from Iggy. His phone started ringing in his hand before he had a chance to repocket it but it felt more like it was accusing at him. Fiona was calling and that’s when it hit him. He couldn’t stay here. He couldn’t hide from the world and block out all the shit. Ian wanted nothing more than to crawl into his big sister’s bed so she could cuddle him like she used to but he knew she wouldn’t come home alone. She’d bring him, her now close friend and just thinking about it felt like she was betraying him, choosing her friend over him and it was too much to bear. The small part of his brain that was barely holding onto reason was overwhelmed by the large part that was collapsing into itself and it propelled his body back out into the night, out of their back yard and away. 

Lungs beginning to hurt once again he tried not to run as fast this time, risk making himself sick in the process. He avoided main streets until he found himself in a busy area slowing down as he recognized where he was. The shops were all closed leaving only a few bars open and he contemplated sneaking into the Alibi and swiping the keys from the register to the upstairs apartment. Kev trusted him so he wouldn’t pay much attention to him while keeping an eye on the local drunks but if he mentioned to Fiona he’d seen him then she might work out where he was. “Fuck!” He spat out garnering a few looks from people in hearing distance.

Ian was so beyond stressed at this point. He needed a cigarette but when he reached into his pockets he found his phone in one and the other held a bag full of joints which he threw down onto the pavement. The thought of smoking them churning his stomach back up again but underneath where they’d been there was also a large set of keys. Mickey’s keys that he suddenly remembered had the keys to the Kash and Grab on them and the apartment above. He decided then and there to risk sneaking in hoping no one who knew him chose that moment to drive past as exhaustion coursed through his body.

 

******

 

A loud bang echoed through the house shattering the peaceful slumber Fiona had been in mere moments before. As she tumbled onto the floor instinctively reaching for the baseball bat she knew was beneath the lounge she sprung back up bat posed in her hands ready to swing catching a glimpse of Mandy out the corner of her eye in the same position. 

Mickey, Iggy and Jamie froze momentarily when confronted by the two women with crazed filled eyes ready to beat them down making Fiona let out a slightly hysterical laugh until she noticed the look on all three of the men’s faces and was Mickey bleeding? “What’s wrong!?” She yelled at them not meaning to raise her voice but their faces sent her into a panic.

Fiona watched as Mickey looked around the room before storming into his bedroom and coming back out seconds later. “Ian! Where the fuck is he!?” He barked at her indignantly.

Fiona now found herself searching the room for her brother, hands still clenching the bat ready to swing. “He was here. We were watching a movie but I must have passed out, Mandy?” She looked over to the girl whose body seemed to be vibrating and holding her bat in the same way as her own.

Mandy stuttered under her brother’s harsh gaze, “I…I…I…um fell…Fuck, I fell…asleep too.” She answered docilely but to Mickey.

“FUCK!” Mickey raged to no one in particular, rubbing a hand down his face streaking blood down his chin.

Fiona reacted to Mickey’s anger with her own, “What the fuck happened to my brother and why are you bleeding!?” She watched as Mickey wiped his hand over his mouth then looked at his hand which now had blood on it but he didn’t respond. He took off out the front door with Iggy quickly following leaving Jamie behind. 

Fiona quickly blocked Jamie’s exit when he went to follow his brothers putting the bat against his chest stopping him heedless of the man who towered over her. “Where. Is. My. Fucking. Brother. Jamie?” She snarled at him enunciating each word separately.

Obviously high, Jamie blurted out everything from start to finish. Terry’s suspicions and threatening Ian. Mickey and the whore and Ian finding them together. And lastly Mickey chasing after Ian but him refusing to listen before dumping Mickey, punching him in the face and taking off.

Fiona let out a furious growl. “And none of you thought to fucken mention this to me or Ian beforehand!?” She spat but Jamie just stood motionless with the bat still resting on his chest trying to avoid her glare. “I’m gonna kill that fucking cunt!”

Mandy was by her side grabbing ahold of her arm instantly. “It’s not Mickey’s fault Fi, he’d never hurt Ian on purpose!” She pleaded.

Fiona scoffed looking at Mandy like she’d grown two heads, “Are you fucken serious! Not him, your cunt of a father!” Fiona pulled back the bat from Jamie to her side after feeling the giant in front of her exhale loudly. “Call those friends of yours you and Ian party with and see if they’ve heard from him now!” She ordered Mandy before focusing back on Jamie, “You go to my house!” She got her keys from her jeans shoving them at him. “I’ll wait here with Mandy in case he turns up and make sure you fucken call us!”

Fiona watched Jamie leave, she dropped the bat to the floor and stomped over to the coffee table for a smoke inhaling it to the point of painful. Next, she snatched up her phone and called her brother for the first of many times only to get no response.

 

******

 

As Ian entered the shop his phone rang. He ignored it locking the store back up and moved carefully in the near dark while his eyes adjusted from the lit up street he’d just come from. He was craving nicotine, he felt like he was close to dehydration from the exertions of the night and his empty stomach was demanding to be filled. Thinking a bit more clearly now he went behind the counter helping himself to a few boxes of cigarettes and took a couple of plastic bags dropping them in along with some lighters. Next, he made his way down a few isles able to make out things easier thanks to the lights coming from the fridges going for food on the bland side that hopefully would stay down like bread, chips, crackers and pasta. He knew there was coffee upstairs and last time he’d been up there he saw frozen pizza in the fridge and pop tarts on the counter so he just collected what would fill the bags and probably see him through for a while. His phone was still ringing nonstop but he ignored it.

Continuing his careful trip around the store, Ian made his way to the door of the apartment unlocking it and made his way up after securing it behind him. He put the few fridge items away but when he went for a drink he realized he’d forgotten to get any so he quickly went back down to the storeroom only taking as much water back with him as he could carry. 

Finally satisfying his thirst Ian went to the bedroom he sometimes shared with his boyfriend/ex/Mickey and felt hot tears stream down his face when he looked at their bed. He seriously considering setting fire to the bed that he knew would hold the smell of Mickey since they hadn’t changed the sheets since their last time there together but instead he vengefully tore the linen that he knew was expensive from the mattress. By the time Ian was done he was surrounded by chaos. The room was covered in torn of cotton and feathers floating in the air from the duvet that he’d violently destroyed. Ian found it cathartic expelling all his pent up emotions through his wanton destruction. The whole way through his tantrum his phone kept ringing on repeat.

A hell of a lot calmer now Ian kicked the mess to the side of the room and went about putting clean sheets back on the bed robotically brushing off the occasional feather that still floated about. His mind was heading towards shutdown mode so the moment he finished he had a hasty shower to wash the sweat and tears away and put on some clean sweats that Mickey kept there. Ian pushed himself mentally past his breaking point by forcing a sandwich down his throat before climbing into the bed that still held the faintest evidence of Mickey on his side but Ian made sure to stay as far on his own side without falling off the edge. 

His phone still rang incessantly before silencing and starting up again. The chiming of multiple text messages reverberated through Ian’s head which he knew would bring on another migraine, it was the last thing he wanted on top of all the shit he’d already been through tonight. Picking up the offending item Ian seriously considered throwing it against the wall but then he saw his sister’s name flashing once again with the call he couldn’t bring himself to answer. Ian rejected the ringing and didn’t open any of the dozens of texts waiting to be read but he quickly sent Fiona a message saying, ‘I’m ok. Don’t know when I’ll be home,’ mustering just enough strength to turn it off before his body and mind shut down completely.

 

******

 

Mickey didn’t know whether to be glad for the near full bottle of whiskey he’d drunk that night or not. While it had a calming effect, hence the reason he hadn’t hit Ian back, it also had the potential to make him do something irrational like he’d just done by kicking in Fiona’s front door instead of thinking to ask her for the keys or knocking. 

Mickey went straight for the stairs taking them two at a time and was greeted by the younger Gallagher female Debbie at the top holding up a can of pepper spray in one hand and a pillow slip that had fuck knows what inside but looked heavy. As she shot the spray at him he just managed to dodge it before she realized it was him and stopped.

Debbie was panting but from nerves as she snapped, “What tha fuck Mickey!”

Just like with Fiona he didn’t answer again just demanded, “Ian! Where the fuck is he!?” before he searched all the upstairs bedrooms and the bathroom.

“Isn’t he at yours?” Debbie asked confused.

Mickey came back to her, his search fruitless. “I wouldn’t be fucking asking if he was.” He retorted sarcastically going back down the stairs. “Iggy...Iggy!” Seeing his brother by the open kitchen back door but not giving him time to speak he ordered him, “Call Tommy and tell him to get someone here within the hour to fix the front door.”

Mickey went straight to the fridge grabbing a beer and chugging it down as Iggy fumbled with his phone, “Mick, there’s fresh vomit out here, looks like we just missed him.” Then Iggy was giving his own orders over his cell.

Jamie’s hulking figure came through the door next, key’s dangling in his hand. “You stay here with the kids till Tommy gets here to fix that!” Mickey pointed at the mess he’d made before going out the back side stepping the mess Ian had left, Iggy following. 

Mickey and Iggy walked up and down every street and alley from the Gallagher house, to the numerous bars scattered about, shanty town under the L, even batty Sheila’s before making their way back to the Milkovich house. 

Mickey didn’t want to think about the likelihood Ian had ran off to his rich faggot friends like he’d done before. Where Mickey had found him coked out of his mind. Revenge fucking aside, he was more worried Ian could right this second be snorting even more of that shit up his noise that his friends so readily had on hand. The damage those drugs could do to his unsuspecting boyfriend who seemed oblivious to the probably condition he was in. Mickey wanted to punch his own self in the face for not telling Ian what everyone had already worked out but him. For not warning Ian about his father and his suspicions. His stubborn, hormonal, fuckwit of a boyfriend couldn’t calm down just long enough to listen. Putting himself in a position which could cause irreparable damage to himself and... Just the thought of all that coke, of Ian right this moment snorting so much of that white powder was turning Mickey from guilt and worry to infuriated and homicidal. Ian was ignoring his calls and his texts, his message bank was full. Why did Ian have to be such a stubborn fuck and not even give him 5 minutes to explain?

But what if Ian hadn’t run northside? What if his father’s lackeys had him? There had been no sign of anyone hiding out near the house and the whole plan seemed too complex for his father now that he thought about it so he doubted it had happened. Mickey was torn between helplessness and outrage. Ian could be hurt or hurting himself and there was nothing Mickey could do. He’d never felt so incompetent in his life. How could he do this to Ian? Why didn’t he hold onto him tighter or risk hitting him just to stop him? Why the fuck hadn’t Mickey told him he was pregnant or about his father? Why hadn’t he told Ian just how much he meant to him? Maybe then he would have listened, believed he wouldn’t intentionally hurt him and only let that whore suck his dick which he couldn’t even keep hard to protect Ian, to protect their future together.

Mickey arrived home again, imitating his actions from not so long ago. Looking around expecting Ian to jump out of some hiding place like they’d been playing hide and go seek. Mickey ignored Fiona and Mandy when they tried to speak to him. His sister weeping over her best friend and Ian’s sister, his own close friend yelling and swearing at him but Mickey did pick up enough to realize that Fiona wasn’t angry with him and that realization made him stop. Made him stand still long enough for Fiona to get in his face shoving her phone before Mickey’s eyes so closely he couldn’t make out the words until he took it off her and read them.

“He’s okay Mickey.” Fiona tried to sound reassuring no matter how pissed off she was with her brother.

Mickey rebuffed her comment, “Oh yeah! What if he’s getting high again like before with those rich fucks!” He was getting worked up again but Fiona wasn’t like his family, maybe that’s why they’d clicked so well. She would talk back to him and understood how he ticked.

Fiona raised her voice right back at Mickey, not just in defense of her brother but to try and calm the irate man in front of her that meant so much to her. “You fucking listen to me Milkovich! Yes, you should have told him about your dad but this isn’t your fault and losing your shit isn’t gonna help. I don’t think he’s doing anything stupid like heavy drugs, maybe weed but he’s been too fucking sick for much else which is on YOU and ME for keeping our fucking mouths shut!” Fiona jabbed her finger into both their chests to get her point across.

Mickey knew Fiona was making sense, he also knew Ian could be dramatic but to act so drastically, thoughtlessly? To not go running to the only parent he had ever known or to his best friend? To be doing fuck knows what, fuck knows where and perhaps putting their child in danger…Ian didn’t even know. Mickey hadn’t told him they’d had unprotected sex so why would a teenager who knew shit about getting knocked up think he had more than a sensitive stomach. That Mickey could never tell his own perhaps best friend. 

Fiona grasped his shirt shaking it till she got Mickey’s attention back. “We’re both concerned and I can see you’re just as furious with Ian as I am by his behavior, he should have come to me but underneath that overreacting teenage boy is a sensible, responsible young man who just needs time to cool off. He’s turned his phone off so all we can do is wait. He’ll come home Mickey, I know him.” Fiona proclaimed sounding so sure of her own words. 

 

******

 

Iggy waited a few hours until he was sure Mandy and Fiona had crashed for the night in his sister’s bedroom. He snuck out the back door knowing Mickey would have drunk himself into oblivion and made his way down the street making sure to stay in the shadows even if it was still night.

 

******

 

Fiona had learned to move stealthily as a child. To pass through a room unnoticed by drunk, drugged or passed out adults. She used that knowledge early Sunday morning as she crept around the scattered bodies, peeking into bedrooms until she found the one she had been hunting.

 

******

 

Mickey spent all day Sunday and Monday holed up in his room continuously drunk, loud music blaring and target shooting cans off his dresser with a bebe gun. Again, his siblings avoided him unless it was to push food into his room or another bottle of whiskey through the door whenever he commanded. He did however leave the house late Sunday night under the cover of darkness. 

 

******

 

It was done….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's get better, soonish.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confessions and answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could apologise till the cows came home for my delay in updating however life and illness come first. I fully intend to finish this fic so please don't doubt that I won't. Thank you to all those that are still with me, I appreciate your patience:)

Late Monday morning Mickey was sitting in his living room surrounded by his brothers waiting for their guest to arrive. A noise that sounded more like kicking than knocking broke the silence they’d all been wrapped up in. Iggy opened the door to Fiona who looked like she’d come prepared to give them all alcohol poisoning, no wonder she hadn’t been able to knock.

Fiona made her way in slowly as Iggy unburdened her from what looked like 6 bottles of whiskey but she still had 2 bottles of vodka and a shopping bag over her arm half full of Marlboro’s. 

Mickey joked, “Really Fi? We got any stock left in the shop?” 

“Aye! You told me to bring what I could carry so I did.” She chided sharing a smile with him. “Mandy at school?”

Mickey avoided her gaze exhaling smoke through his nose, “I um… I’m pretty sure I heard her talking to Ian so I doubt it.” He turned back to her, pained expression clearly evident. 

Fiona plastered on the best fake smile she could muster, “Ian hasn’t called me but he did send me an email this morning letting me know he’d be home later on today.” Mickey fake smiled her back. “So why are we drinking before lunch?” She asked curiously.

Before Mickey could answer Jamie jumped in speaking cautiously. “I don’t mean to be rude but if you have something confidential to tell us then why is Ian’s sister here?” 

“Because she’s my fucking best friend and I trust her dickhead.” Mickey snapped defensively. “Now dad’s fucking dead and we have to put on a show. Plan some type of fucked up lovey dovey bullshit funeral so nothing looks suspicious.” Mickey squeezed the bridge of his nose trying to ease off the pressure from the stress headache he could feel starting to take shape.

“Fuck!” Fiona muttered barely audible as her face blanched and her hands shook noticeably. 

Iggy sat down on the arm of the lounge and lay a comforting hand on Fiona’s shoulder, “Hey, don’t worry about it, we aren’t.” 

Fiona confused the fuck out of everyone drawing their attention when she broke down into tears and began her hysterical confession. “I had to do it. I had to protect Mandy and Ian. Even you Mick. He tried to rape her and if he found out Ian’s pregnant he would have killed him. I had to stop him. I had no choice. Please forgive me Mick but I’d do it again and I can’t be sorry, not over him!” 

Mickey grasped Fiona making her flinch but ignored her reaction pulling her into his arms and hugging her tight hoping his actions gave her some reassurance. He had no idea what the fuck he was doing, the only person he really ever held was Ian. He patted her head awkwardly messing up her already mussed up hair, but he couldn’t hold back the laughter as his own confession spilled. “Don’t worry about it. You didn’t do shit, I did.”

“It was me!” Iggy blurted out at the same time as Jamie declared he did it.

By now Fiona was sitting back up alongside Mickey surveying the room with wild eyes as all the Milkovich brothers begin laughing and toasting full glasses of whiskey. Fiona wasn’t exactly sure how to react, part of her thought she’d be dead by now even after Mickey declaring they were best friends but when Iggy pushed a glass into her hands she downed her drink in one gulp before joining in their infectious cheer. 

The mood became more like a celebration than an early wake as all the conspirators recounted their stories laughing at the similarities they all went through to protect the ones they loved. As an added bonus Jamie received a call from the police notifying him that they were ruling Terry’s death an accidental overdose due to his well documented history with drugs and that they could contact the coroner’s office to arrange pick up of the body. The police really didn’t give a shit about Terry Milkovich. They hadn’t even requested an autopsy.

******

Mandy didn’t push for details like she usually did but she did punch Ian in the arm for not telling her where he was and if he was ok. However, she did find it amusing that Ian had hid out in the apartment above the shop for the last couple of nights. None of them had thought to check there after Ian’s mega but understandable tantrum. Mandy didn’t tell Ian Mickey’s side of the story either, of what really went down at her father’s party in fear that he may turn on her in his still emotional state and think she was taking sides. She also left out the fact that she was now officially an orphan deciding to share that with him after their trip to the recruitment center.

When Ian had finally crawled out of his self imposed exile he realized how stupid he was for thinking Fiona wouldn’t be there for him regardless of how close she’d become to Mickey. Putting her through pointless stress worrying about his ass was totally out of character for Ian but he’d felt so overwhelmed. Coupled with his continuous bouts nausea and how shit he felt he’d just stayed in bed sleeping off and on until he couldn’t stand being alone anymore.

Ian had gotten up early that morning, showered and eaten some plain toast as that was the only thing that didn’t turn his stomach and switched his phone back on to bite the bullet and at least email his sister and best friend. Ignoring the countless text messages, Ian had gone straight to his Gmail account noticing an urgent email for him to come down to the recruitment office today to discuss his test results. Ian had sent Fiona a quick email letting her know he’d be home later that day then called Mandy to ask her to come with him. Ian hoped like fuck they didn’t pick up anything, he’d been clean for weeks now only smoking some weed after he’d had the tests done.

Mandy and Ian took their time strolling down the streets hand in hand towards their destination, looking in shop windows and generally talking about nothing. Just like always they appeared like any other young couple in love but there was an underlining tension between them that only someone who knew them well would pick up. They both wanted to ask questions but they both kept their mouths shut. Each trapped by circumstances out of their control, not quite sure how to be there for the other without feeling like they are betraying someone else.

Mandy had never felt so conflicted, trapped in the middle wanting to defend the brother that had raised and sheltered her even if he was a controlling asshole. Mickey was more of an overprotective parent than a sibling and knowing how different her life would be if he wasn’t who he was, that was the only thing that held back her tongue in the last few days. Mandy knew the truth of what happened at that party, of the suspicions their father had about Ian and Mickey’s relationship, but she only found out after the fact just like Ian had walked into it. However, Mandy kept her opinion to herself taking in all the conversations around her at home, but Mandy couldn’t totally hide her anger towards Mickey knowing if she were in the same position as Ian she would have wanted to know from the beginning. Mandy had no idea if Mickey was aware of her deep feelings regarding this whole fucked up situation because he had hardly spoken more than a few words to her and the only time in his life he’d asked for her opinion was after he’d first met Ian. The more openness that had been slowly developing between them since Mickey fell for Ian had stalled leaving Mandy half frightened Mickey would revert back into the cold overly demanding person he was before. Mandy wasn’t foolish enough to think Mickey would become a different person because of Ian, he was still controlling but she’d started becoming used to seeing a softer side of her brother that she’d never known he possessed. 

Ian pulled a day dreaming Mandy to a holt before walking her into a store, he was feeling queasy again and his mouth was dry. Ian got himself a drink from one of the fridges hoping it would help. “You want anything?”

Mandy snorted pointing at the can in Ian’s hand, “Really grandpa, ginger ale or have you spent the last few days raiding the liquor supply?”

Ian shoved Mandy’s shoulder playfully, “Shut up. Am thirsty and my stomach is all kinds of fucked up.” Just the thought of alcohol made Ian feel worse.

Mandy instantly felt guilty and knew Ian had picked up something from the change in her expression which she’d tried to cover up just as quickly as it came. “Well I’m getting an ice tea, maybe something without fizz will make you feel better.” 

Ian smiled at her softly, “Nah, I think it’s just stress and probably a bit of nerves but I’m sure I’ll be fine after we get this shit over with.” 

Mandy’s guilt returned at Ian’s comment making her own stomach churn. She decided then and there that even if she was staying out of Ian and Mickeys fight or whatever you called what was going on between them she couldn’t, wouldn’t, keep what they all suspected from Ian any longer. Ian may be oblivious to what was going on with his own body, but Mandy felt like she was betraying her best friend by not voicing her suspicions. The moment they were done at the recruitment center she was going to tell Ian and maybe drag him to the clinic for confirmation. Mandy now had 2 life changing events to share with him.

******

Ian doesn’t know if he’s paranoid, if he’s got something stuck on his face or maybe he’s imagining it but after he gives his name and him and Mandy are being escorted to a private room he feels all eyes on him as they walk to the back of the office. Ian thinks Mandy’s hand may have tightened a fraction in his, but he could be wrong. Either way his slight unease since he got the email to come in has now escalated to nearly unbearable. Ian knocked on the door and was called to enter by the same army doctor he saw previously who is currently doing medicals for new recruits or students in the area like himself going off to WestPoint the following year.

Ian drops Mandy’s hand when they enter and salutes, “Captain, Sir.” Ian was glad it was the same doctor that saw him last time after he made him feel relaxed and not like they were in a military environment.

“Please close the door and take a seat Ian and thank you for coming in so promptly.” The doctor looks to Mandy introducing himself before Ian gets a chance. “I’m Doctor Ballard and you are?”

Ian responds for Mandy, “My girlfriend Sir, Mandy.” Mandy gives a small nod and a smile.

The doctor looks at them questionably for a second. “Seeing as your girlfriend is present I take it you don’t have a problem discussing anything personal in front of her, is that correct?”

“Yes Sir.” Ian responds firmly but his palms are now sweating. He rubs them discreetly over his jeans to no effect.

“We’ll begin then, shall we.” It wasn’t a question. “Now you mentioned last week that you were feeling off, dizzy and an upset stomach, is that correct.”

“Yes Sir.”

“And has that improved or worsened in your opinion?”

Ian’s grateful for the years he’s been in JROTC as he keeps his voice even, concerned now there may be a problem. “It may have worsened a tad Sir.”

The doctor stares at him intensely for a few seconds before continuing, “Are you sure you wish to discuss this in front of your girlfriend Ian?” Ian nods. “Just so you know there are some things that don’t come under doctor/patient confidentiality in the service and what has come back in your blood tests is one of those things.”

Ian’s voice wavers, “I understand Sir.”

“Are you aware of the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy Ian?”

“Yes Sir.” Ian’s replies more confidently but he wonders how that effects his test results. 

The doctor gives a small smile, “Is Mandy your girlfriend in the traditional sense?”

Ian looks down to his hand locked tightly with Mandy’s and can’t bring himself to lie to a superior, “No Sir.” 

“Thank you for your honesty Ian and don’t worry, you aren’t the first person in this situation and I’m sure you won’t be the last however, that isn’t the reason I’m asking.” The doctor opens a file in front of him pulling out a sheet of paper and placing it on top. “Are you still ok with me continuing with Mandy present?”

“Mandy is my best friend, we don’t have any secrets between us Sir.”

“Ok then. Your blood results showed 2 things that are cause for concern. The first one indicates you have mild anemia which is easily treated with an iron supplement and diet. The second one is a different matter altogether and I believe it is the reason you’ve been feeling so poorly lately. Your HCG levels are quite elevated indi…”

Ian goes against all his training in his panic and interrupts the doctor, “Sir, please believe me I haven’t touched marijuana or any other illicit substance. I have been around people when they’ve smoked it, but I didn’t have any myself Sir.”

Mandy rests her hand soothingly on Ian’s pale cheek turning him towards her gently, “Ian calm down, that’s not what it means ok.”

The doctor breaks their intimate moment, “Ian, THC is marijuana and we found none in your system. HCG is the hormone level indicative of pregnancy and your levels tell me you are approximately 7-8 weeks.”

Ian laughed incredulously, “Nah, nah, nah. That’s impossible Sir. Can we do the tests again.”

“Do you have a partner Ian?”

Ian responds awkwardly, not quite sure how to answer after all that had happened while struggling keep his near hysterical laughter under control. “Yes, but we always use condoms Sir.”

“Ian, these tests are accurate, and condoms are only effective 98 percent of the time. Unfortunately, that’s the situation you are now facing, and we are left with only 2 options regarding your admittance to WestPoint.”

Ian appeared to be speechless which was probably for the best, so Mandy spoke in his stead, “What are his options now Doctor.”

“Ian, at 8 weeks along we don’t have a lot of time. You have 2 weeks to decide if you are going to terminate the pregnancy and accept your position at WestPoint next fall or you can continue with the pregnancy, but we won’t be able to defer your placement for the following year regardless of whether you keep the baby or not. I’m sorry but those are your only options.”

Ian was sure he had misunderstood the last 5 minutes of the conversation and that was evident when he spoke needing further clarification, “So what you’re saying is I’m definitely pregnant and my options are to have an abortion and go to WestPoint or have the baby and lose everything I’ve worked for?” 

The doctor handed the paper that was in front him over to Mandy and wrote something on a blank piece of paper handing that over to her too. “Yes Ian. Now before you make any decisions I want you to go immediately to the clinic you attend for an ultrasound to get an accurate age of the fetus and to check its health. Mandy, if you could please give those papers to the nurse or doctor you see when you are there.”

****** 

Mandy felt downhearted as she pulled her lifeless best friend out of the Uber she’d ordered to take them to the clinic. Ian hadn’t spoken a word since they’d left the recruitment center or acknowledged her in any way. Mandy was positive he was in some type of shock. His skin was a drained of all color, she honestly didn’t think him capable of turning any paler and had a visible sheen of sweat covering its surface. Mandy could barely bring herself to look at Ian without feeling overcome by guilt as she led him by the arm into the clinic.

Mandy sat Ian in the quietest corner of the room then went and got a can of pop from the vending machine. She vaguely remembered something about sugar being good for shock in health class and figured drinking some would be easier than trying to get him to eat a chocolate bar. She managed to get Ian to take a few sips before leaving him to head to the reception counter. There was at least a 2 hour wait to have the ultrasound done for free or she could pay, and they would go in next. Mandy didn’t hesitate to use the credit card Mickey had given her for emergencies because fuck, this was an emergency and it was for Ian. 

They didn’t have to wait long, maybe 10 minutes or so before Ian’s name was called. Ian surprised Mandy when he stood on his own and held his hand out for her to take. He was still pale, but his eyes seemed more alert as they followed the technician to the room and Ian was placed on an examination table. He followed orders undoing and lowering his pants exposing his lower abdomen as the lady spoke explaining what she was going to do.

Ian hissed when the unexpected coldness from the gel hit his skin, but it helped to pull him out of his funk enough to pay attention. He cleared his head of all thought except for what was right in front of him, a black and white screen that made no sense to him as the probe ran over his skin. The picture stilled, and it looked like the technician was measuring something and clicking a few buttons on her keyboard but to Ian it still looked like a blurred screen. She copied her actions several times and Ian thought he could now make out an oval shape with a blob near the top that somehow appeared to be floating. 

Ian startled looking towards her when she spoke, “Everything looks good Ian.” She pointed to the frozen screen tracing around the shape Ian could see as she spoke again. “The sac is intact, and the fetus appears to be at 8 weeks gestation. Would you like to hear the heartbeat?”

Ian had no fucking idea. Did he want to hear the heartbeat? Ian could already hear his own heartbeat throbbing in his ears and the hairs on his body all stood on their ends. He swallowed harshly trying to form words, but his mouth seemed to have disconnected from his brain while his brain worked overtime juggling the potential consequences of whatever his answer may be. Would hearing the heartbeat of something the size of a lima bean influence his decision or would keeping his distance help him come to a logical conclusion. Ian knew he was a curious person by nature who liked to dig and prod for facts so wouldn’t it be beneficial to know everything? But what if hearing the life within him also influenced the choice he’d hoped to never have to make. And what the fuck would Mickey think? Would he want to be saddled with a child to a teenager whether they were together or not or would he be hidden away, sequestered like some dirty secret if he continued with the pregnancy? But worse than all that Ian thought, what if Mickey thinks he purposefully fell pregnant to trap him knowing he had money?

Ian couldn’t think about Mickey right now and the potential fallout of him knowing. He had to deal with the here and now so when the word finally came out of his mouth it was the complete opposite of what he’d thought best.

“Yes.”

As the room filled with a fast paced drumbeat Ian felt himself sliding back into the abys as the noises assailed him on all sides. For what felt like the millionth time that day Ian was broken out of his stupor when he felt Mandy gently moving her fingers across his face trying to wipe away the tears he’d wept unawares. Mandy then placed soft kisses to Ian’s forehead before resting her head against his comfortingly. 

“Would you like a picture.” 

Mandy gazed down at a silent Ian before answering knowing if he decided to have the baby this would be something both him and Mickey would want. “Can we have two please?”


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Outbursts, hangovers and patience.

The harsh rays of early morning sunlight streamed through the uncovered window burning straight through Fiona’s eyelids and directly into her retinas offering no protection from her self-induced state, only elevating the excruciating pain that battered her body. As Fiona slowly gained consciousness she became aware that yes, she was in her own bed though she had no idea how she’d gotten there. Next Fiona became aware that she wasn’t alone in her bed and hoped like fuck she hadn’t done anything stupid or Gallagher like which was essentially the same thing. After managing to crack open one eyelid, the other one firmly sealed, Fiona attempted to lift her head off the pillow to see who was spooning her but ended up groaning loudly when the movement caused her head to throb. 

She went for a different tactic next hoping the person behind her was the one she wanted and not a huge fuck up. This time Fiona peered downwards to the arm she could feel laying across her waist and despite the overwhelming pain that had taken up residence in her body she smiled. Pale fading freckled skin with a light covering of ginger welcomed her and the hand attached appeared to be holding something loosely which she couldn’t quite discern. Curiosity overriding pain, Fiona reached down taking hold of whatever it was Ian was holding and brought it before her one open eye.

It was definite, and Ian knew. 

Feelings of guilt and selfishness weighed down heavily on Fiona. She should have told him. She should have been home not out drinking herself into oblivion knowing Ian was coming home even if it was to celebrate the death of Terry Milkovich. Proof before her that he’d gone to the clinic and had an ultrasound without her even though Fiona knew Mandy would have been with him. It still didn’t change the fact that it should have been her that was by his side holding his hand if not Mickey.

A barely discernable voice mumbled into her neck, “Why you crying?”

Fiona gently laid the picture down alongside her not realizing she had been crying so she could wipe her eyes. “I should have been with you.’

“S’ok, you were celebrating.” Ian said as he leant back and stretched. “I need a coffee.” His voice lost the concern it had shown moments before becoming emotionless.

Ian climbed over Fiona then leaned down and gently eased her off the bed. He made his way to the bathroom as Fiona slowly made her way down stairs to use the toilet there. They met backup in the kitchen to find a pot of coffee already made and a note from Mandy letting them know she got the kids off to school. Fiona took a few Advil then poured them both mugs of coffee. Ian watched her move around the kitchen from his place on the stool by the kitchen bench in silence and gratefully took the mug she handed him then proceeded to light up a cigarette.

Fiona wanted nothing more than to crawl back under the covers and not come out for days, but she didn’t have that luxury, she couldn’t avoid Ian any longer. She spoke before she thought, “Should you be…”

Ian cut her off, “Smoking while I’m pregnant? Drinking coffee while I’m pregnant? Or should we just stick with fucking up my life in general and getting knocked up at 17, hmmm?” Sarcasm wove through his words.

A heavy silence settled between them. Fiona didn’t blame Ian for his sarcasm, in fact she welcomed any show of emotion even if it was negative. Waking with him in her bed let her know he needed her even if he couldn’t say it out loud so she was happy to settle for that for the time being.

“You all knew, didn’t you?” Ian interrupted Fiona’s thoughts. 

“What?” Fiona knew that was the wrong answer, but she hadn’t been expecting the question.

“You, Mickey and Mandy. You all knew or at least suspected but none of you said shit to me.” Fiona stood stock still as Ian got up and refilled his coffee before sitting back down and daring her with his eyes to say anything as he lit another cigarette. 

Fiona ran her hands through her hair gathering it all together and tying it away from her face giving herself a moment to think, her brain still running in slow motion because of her hangover. “I…we…fuck. We planned on telling you we thought you might be pregnant then all that shit went down with you and Mickey and then you took off, but I swear I was gonna tell you the next day.” Fiona gave him a small smile of reassurance. “You really need to talk to Mickey, he’s worried about you Ian.”

Ian snorted, “Yeah, why? He gonna justify the reason he had his dick down some whore’s throat? I don’t think so.”

Fiona implored, “Ian, it’s more complicated than that, he had no choice…”

Ian once again interrupted her getting to his feet this time, “Really? There’s always choices Fiona, just like I have to make a choice now.” Ian laughed sardonically.

Fiona bit back crossly trying not to lose her temper, “His father found out about you, threatened you, leaving Mickey with no fucking choice Ian!”

“When!?” Ian snapped.

“When what?” 

“When did Terry find out?” Ian demanded.

“He threatened him that night, but we suspected something was going on a few days before ok!” Between arguing with Ian and her headache Fiona was starting to lose her own temper which was the last thing she wanted to do with Ian.

Ian scoffed loudly and strode to the back door in less than 2 strides opening it then pausing for a moment before closing it again and continuing his rant mockingly, swinging his arms about to encompasses the whole room. “And that’s the key word for today ladies and gentlemen, ‘suspected’! You all ‘suspected’ I was pregnant, but nobody chose to share that information with me and you all ‘suspected’ Terry knew his son was bending me over, but no one chose to share that information with me either! None of you thought to consider that I should know what the fuck was going on especially when it concerned me! Me! My sister, my best friend and my so called fucking boyfriend all chose to keep me in the dark like I’m a fucking child!”

“FUCK! Enough already, please!” Fiona turned away from Ian clutching at the side of her head with both hands obviously in pain but at the same time praying like fuck her outburst doesn’t send Ian running off again. It doesn’t. Fiona feels Ian wrap himself around her holding her against his chest as she leans into him, a sense of calm enveloping them following his frantic tirade. It’s out now, all of it and hopefully they can have some type of conversation without Ian exploding again.

Ian leans his mouth close to her ear, “Go sit, I’ll make us some eggs.” Followed by a soft kiss to her temple. Fiona turns in Ian’s arms giving him a soft smile, a feeling of relief settling over her mind when she sees her gentle brother has come back to her and the passive aggressive bitch has gone. Fiona lightly touches his cheek before taking his previously occupied seat and leaving him to fix them some food.

Sitting in the now near silent kitchen, the only sounds coming from the food being prepared, Fiona observed her brother as he moved casually about the room getting what he needed from the fridge and the cupboards and putting it all together so effortlessly. Fiona noticed Ian’s eyes were bloodshot and the skin beneath them held a tinge of purple. His face appeared paler than usually but looked healthy, maybe even glowing? Fiona’s eyes then travelled down his body to his abdominal region looking for any telltale signs of change, but the tight t-shirt Ian was wearing held no hint of what lay beneath, the usual outline of his 6 pack prominent. 

Fiona took the time she had to think up questions she could ask her highly emotional brother without setting him off again. She’d witnessed outbursts from him a few times in the past, but they’d only ever been directed at Lip never her. Ian was right in a way, they shouldn’t have kept him in the dark but the last few days made Fiona realize she wasn’t as opposed to her brother being a teenage parent as she should be. For one, he wouldn’t be going off to some stan and fighting for a cause that would put his life in danger. People got killed in the southside every day, but most didn’t deliberately put themselves in the line of fire. Fiona had always supported Ian’s dream to become an officer and carve out a career for himself along with the financial security they all craved growing up. Not knowing where their next meal was coming from was a weekly, sometimes daily occurrence in their house, so she could understand Ian’s motivation but deep down it always terrified her. 

Yes, Ian was strong physically, dependable and reliable but out of all their siblings, even the younger ones he’d always been the most sensitive and the thought of the horrors he could potentially witness while deployed left Fiona in fear that she wouldn’t get the same boy back. The stories people told of family members coming home like different people and the mental damage like PTSD ate at Fiona since Ian had first expressed his interest. There was also the fact that their mother suffered from bipolar disorder which upped the odds considerably that any one of them could develop a mental illness.

Thinking about Ian being pregnant, a male teenager in the southside could be dangerous on its own and if by some chance him and Mickey couldn’t resolve their issues, which Fiona highly doubted then Ian would become another statistic of their environment if he kept the baby. Fiona knew their feelings ran deep for each other, she could see it written all over their faces how in love they were, but she didn’t believe the words had ever been spoken as yet. In Fiona’s opinion Mickey was the perfect partner for her brother even with his domineering ways. Fiona had always been able to read her brother, so it wasn’t hard for her to see the more subservient nature under the surface even if he’d been chasing a career in leadership. Ian had the Gallagher stubbornness and the mouth to boot but it belied the hard outer shell he showed to the world. 

Then there was Mickey whom Fiona had become so close to. She already knew he wasn’t against Ian staying with him or the fact that he was carrying his child. If anything, Fiona believed that Mickey wouldn’t give up or abandon Ian whether he chose to go ahead with the pregnancy or not. Fiona felt it was a bonus that Mickey was in a situation financially to support her brother but just like herself, she knew Ian would have been drawn to Mickey even if he was dirt poor and had a record a mile long. There was just something between the two of them that you didn’t see every day. A connection that most people dreamed of, herself included and if anyone deserved to have that in their life then Fiona wanted that for Ian.

“You coming to the table or you gonna sit there daydreaming all day?” Ian nudged her shoulder with his elbow cheekily as he passed by with their breakfast.

******

Mandy stepped through her front door to a sight she only vaguely recalled from her early childhood. The living room was in disarray. Furniture out of place and bottle after empty bottle scattered about. Ashtrays overflowed, and the room stunk like a bar full of sweaty drunks with three of her five brothers passed out in various positions over the floor. 

Mickey was alongside the lounge on the carpet spooning it with one leg thrown high over the cushions in a position that Mandy couldn’t work out for the life of her how he’d managed to maintain, it looked painful as fuck. Iggy didn’t appear to be to uncomfortable where he was in front of the TV. He was in a fetal position cuddling a nearly full bottle of Jack. Mandy was only able to locate Jamie from his loud echoing snores and his feet poking out of the bathroom door. When Mandy got closer to him she couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped between her lips. He was sprawled on his stomach on the tiles, head turned to the side and drool hanging from his mouth forming a substantial puddle below. 

Mandy knew they’d be looking for a feed. Preferably something to soak up the alcohol and taking into account the reason for the state they were in she decided to do them a favor. Quietly she sauntered into the kitchen making some fresh coffee first then got out some bacon and eggs to cook and started on the many pieces of toast her brothers would be expecting. By the time Mandy was done the sounds of groaning and bodies attempting to move while bumping into furniture had been awoken by the smell. She set the table for what she presumed would be extremely hung over grumpy assholes with enough food for 10, coffee, water and a bottle of Advil. 

Mandy tried to eat without laughing as Mickey and Iggy stumbled their way to the table and Jamie crawled out of the bathroom like a dying bear, noises included. The three of them popped what looked like double the dosage of pills and ate like they were starving. In unison her brothers moaned pulling faces like they were being tortured when Mandy’s cell phone shattered the silence. 

It was Fiona. 

Mandy left the table and wandered around the house talking quietly and stepping over the mess. Fuck her brothers if they thought she was cleaning up after them. Mandy didn’t add much to the conversation, just listened to Fiona ramble at speed about Ian and their morning together so far. The call didn’t last more than a few minutes ending abruptly when Fiona hung up without saying goodbye as Mandy heard Ian in the background.

Mandy took no offence. Fiona was obviously calling her without Ian knowing leaving no doubt in her mind of how pissed off her best friend must be. Appetite now lost, Mandy made her way back to the table refilling everyone’s coffee, only her breakfast remaining. Cigarettes were lit all round, and Mandy took her brothers grunting as thanks while she cleared the table. She’d be their waitress for now but like fuck would she be their housemaid. 

When Mandy returned she lit up her own post meal cigarette, acutely aware of the three sets of eyes watching her. As usual Mandy returned Mickey’s gaze first. He didn’t say anything, but he pointed to her phone expecting an explanation. 

Mandy couldn’t be bothered beating around the bush or thinking about her wording like she usually did when it came to her brother. “Fiona is taking a few days off to spend with Ian and she said to tell you to give her some time. A few days at least and don’t come over till she calls you, he’s pissed as fuck at all of us for not telling him.” Mickey’s expression didn’t change but his eyes followed Mandy as she stood and took the ultrasound picture out of her back pocket.

They were all still watching her silently as she handed it to Mickey. “The pregnancy came out in the blood test he took last week. I took him to the clinic and paid on my credit card for an ultrasound. Here, I got you a picture. He’s 8 weeks gone the doctor said.” 

******

Mickey trusted Fiona so he’d done what she’d asked and stayed away from the Gallagher house, for now. She had kept him updated via text regularly for the last few days letting him know she’d told Ian everything, but she didn’t divulge their private conversations which he respected. Still, Mickey had no clue what Ian’s choice would be, but Fiona had previously hinted before everything went to shit that she wasn’t against Ian not going to WestPoint and going to college here in Chicago. The moment Fiona arrived, which Mickey was expecting within the hour he was going to share his plans with her. He was left with no other option if he wanted her help.

This time apart from his boy had been different for Mickey. He didn’t hibernate in his room drinking in case Ian was ready to talk but he still spent most of his free time in there by himself. The last time he was drunk was 3 days ago limiting himself to a beer or 2 with dinner. When Ian was ready he knew he would need a clear head, especially with how unpredictable Ian was behaving according to Fiona. Apparently, his hormones were really fucking with him according to her. So, Mickey’s life now revolved around work and staring for hours on end at pictures he had on his phone of Ian and fighting with himself not to charge over there, throw Ian over his shoulder and march back home with what was his. 

However, as the days dragged on Mickeys patience was wearing thin with so much at stake. He knew most people would feel guilty about what he’d done or hadn’t shared with Ian but to him the ends justified the means. Mickey saw the pregnancy as a bonus, as a way to ensure Ian stayed. That Ian would become his completely was a given and surprisingly Mickey found himself not adverse to becoming a parent. 

Mickey’s own mood wasn’t helped by the amount of time he spent staring at the ultrasound picture his sister had given him either, it just reinforced how he felt. Ian was his, simple as that. From the moment Ian had first walked through the Milkovich front door he belonged to Mickey in every sense of the word, but he could feel himself losing control. It had been too long, and Mickey felt like a caged animal pacing back and forth in his bedroom or a junkie hanging out for his next fix as thoughts of Ian preyed on his mind. Mickey could feel himself on the brink of doing something reckless if he didn’t get to touch his boy soon. It was no longer a matter of waiting for Ian to make his choice, regardless of the outcome Mickey had no intention of letting him go. He’d spent all night coming up with an offer Ian couldn’t refuse and now it all hinged on Fiona’s agreeance and support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any ideas what Mickey may be planning? I'll try not to keep you waiting too long...


End file.
